


Love Is A Construct

by Weevilo707



Category: The Adventure Zone (Podcast)
Genre: Alternate Universe - Fantasy, Amnesia, Angst with a Happy Ending, Bodyguard Romance, Enemies to Friends to Lovers, Falling In Love, Fluff and Angst, Hurt/Comfort, M/M, Magical Accidents, Mutual Pining, Mystery, Royalty, Slow Burn, With A Twist, guard kravitz, kravitz is a guard construct, neither of them are happy with this, that has to protect taako
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-02-12
Updated: 2020-12-19
Packaged: 2021-02-27 19:41:57
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 30
Words: 137,546
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/22671190
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Weevilo707/pseuds/Weevilo707
Summary: Taako didn't know what he was thinking when he cast that spell. It had been in a panic, the only clear thought in his head being something along the lines of 'oh fuck shit please don't let me die!' Somehow it had worked, the Queen's guard construct falling under the charm, rushing to his aid and fighting off the shitty mugger.It ended up working too well, actually.Now Kravitz was stuck protecting this strange wizard, and neither of them were too pleased by this predicament. Instead of guarding the Queen's palace as was his sworn duty he was traipsing around the countryside, trying to help him find a way to dispel the magic. Getting tangled up in Taako's own problems, when all he wanted to do was go home.At least, he thought all he wanted to do was go home.It turned out, life outside of the palace walls wasvery confusing.
Relationships: Kravitz/Taako (The Adventure Zone)
Comments: 737
Kudos: 772





	1. Formal Requests

Taako knew coming to the capital was a bad idea.

Big cities were typically bad ideas in general, and there definitely wasn’t a bigger city than Astral. That was the reason he’d never been there before, at least not in his memory. It was always possible that he had been at some point he _couldn’t_ remember, but those hypothetical times didn’t count.

Still, he’d reached another dead end in his search. If he was being honest, it was rare that he wasn’t at a dead end. This one had been particularly dead though, and he wasn’t sure what to do to revive it.

He needed to do something, and when he heard of the caravan heading to Astral he’d joined on a whim. It was somewhere he’d never been before, big and bustling and full of people. He couldn’t remember much from before she left, but he knew that Lup had always been better at people than he was. Maybe she was somewhere like that. It would explain why he hadn’t been able to find her yet, since he always tended to stay away from those types of areas. He had no other leads anyway, so he might as well take the shot. If nothing else, it might be a good place to find some new leads. News tended to travel a lot faster in the big cities, so if he could hear about anything strange that might have lured Lup away, that would be fantastic.

That had been about two weeks ago, and so far there had been no sign of Lup since he made it to the city. It was a big place though, he told himself that if she was here, he couldn’t expect to find her in a day. Two weeks definitely felt like he was starting to push it, and he'd gathered up a few possible places to look next, but he just wanted to be certain.

He should have left that day.

Taako didn’t tend to come so close to the castle, and definitely not when it started to get dark, when all their weird lifeless guards came out to patrol the area. Those things creeped him the fuck out if he was being honest, and it was dangerous to hang out too close to the castle anyway. The last thing he wanted to do was get in trouble for being somewhere he shouldn’t.

That was actually why he was going down the much sketchier back alley off to the side instead. It was out of the way, the guards wouldn’t be coming down it, and as long as he was quick it should be fine. It was still light enough out that it might still be safe.

Of course it wasn’t safe.

It was just some thug, but Taako had been moving fast and the asshole had been well hidden. He was thrown off when he jumped out, slamming Taako against a wall, a blade already pressing cold metal against his side as the dick demanded he hand over his money.

“Don’t have any kemosabe, sorry but better luck on the next one,” he said, trying to move away and feeling the knife press harder against him. He was pretty sure this dude was mostly trying to go for threatening, but he didn’t seem to care much if he injured anyone in the process. His side stung as the knife pierced through his shirt and definitely cut into him a little.

“Don’t lie to me jackass,” the thug said, and the worst part was, Taako _wasn’t_ lying. He barely had squat left. It was another reason he hated being in cities, there were too many things to tempt him into spending his money. The whole damn reason he’d even had to go this way was because he spent too long in a real fucking nice bookshop.

“Okay. Okay, just… lemme grab by wallet. It’s in my bag,” he said, shrugging a shoulder so the dude could see the strap running across his chest from the bag on his back.

“No funny business,” the mugger said, backing away just enough so that Taako could move, still holding the knife way too close for comfort. Taako nodded, slowly slinging his bag so that it was around his front, moving a slow hand inside and not taking his eyes off this dickwad as he rummaged around.

Moving past some of the new books he'd grabbed, his fingers curled around the item he’d been searching for. He saw the flash of rage and surprise when Taako quickly whipped out a wand instead of money.

“Mother _fucke-”_ the dude started to shout, trying to lunge for him. Taako barely got off the spell fast enough, sending the asshat blasting back with a gust of wind. Without waiting to see if he was alright, Taako turned and started to run.

He didn’t get very far, barely reaching the end of the alley when he felt something slam into his back _hard,_ knocking him to the ground. He managed to keep a hold of his wand, but he could feel knees digging into his back as this guy kept him pinned to the ground.

“You think that was _funny?”_ this asshole mugger asked, and Taako was having a hard time breathing as he felt that knife against the back of his throat again. He couldn’t tell if it was from panic or just this guy sitting on his lungs, but either way he wasn’t a fan.

“No,” Taako managed to squeak out, and looking up he hadn’t realized how close they were to the castle now. He could see the giant stone wall closing it off, and too close for comfort was one of those guards. Apparently not a very good one as far as he could tell, since it didn’t seem to notice the two of them on the ground at the end of the alley. They were still pretty well covered by long shadows from sunset, but seriously.

It didn’t see them though, and as far as he could tell, his attacker didn’t see _it_ either.

“I think _this_ is funny,” he said, twisting his wrist to point his wand at the sentinel. The spell that came out of his mouth wasn’t one he could remember ever properly learning, arcane words half remembered, half bullshitted spilling from him in his panic. He saw it cast out towards the construct, but before he could see if it even landed his head was being pushed into the ground painfully.

“What the fuck was that? What was that spell for?” he demanded, not seeming to get the fact that Taako couldn’t answer him with a mouth full of dirt. The knife was digging painfully into the back of his neck now, and despite how much he was struggling at this point he couldn’t throw this jackass off.

And then he heard the sound of loud, heavy footsteps running towards them. He felt the guy on his back let up some, and then he felt him get fucking _thrown_ off of him. The second the weight was lifted off Taako was scrambling to his feet, spitting dirt out of his mouth and still gripping his wand in preparation to cast another spell.

When he turned to look back at the dickhead who’d attacked him though, it didn’t seem like he would need to. He was clutching his jaw in pain, and before Taako could even get a good idea of how fucked up he’d gotten he was turning tail and running. He couldn’t blame him much either, especially as he took in the figure now standing between them.

It was at least a good head taller than Taako, made of slick, deep black metal. Despite being a non-living construct it was wearing a black cloak with a deep red underside and feathers all around the top. That cloak alone was probably worth more than every piece of clothes Taako had on his person put together. From its stance, Taako would guess that it had literally kicked that guy off of him, although its hand was reaching towards a large, deadly looking scythe strapped to its back. It didn't seem like it was going to need it though, and after a moment it put its hand back down.

Once the asshole had disappeared down the alley, the guard turned towards him. He’d never been this close to one before, and he took a step back, halfway to running off just like that other fucker had. It didn’t so much have a face as much as a skull, the black metal designed to resemble one. Inside of the eye sockets were two large, deep blue gems that seemed to almost glow with the power that kept this construct working. A circular chamber in its abdomen was glowing with that same blue tinted light, and despite how slender the build of it was, it was clearly a sturdy piece of work. 

Before Taako could decide whether or not to run, the sentinel suddenly knelt down in front of him. It didn’t have any sort of expression, and the gems were more a suggestion of eyes than anything else, but it still felt like this thing was fucking staring at him.

“The danger has been dispatched. Permission to return to my sacred duty of guarding Her Royal Majesty?” it said, and honestly Taako was kind of surprised it could speak. He wasn’t entirely sure that they could do that. It took a few seconds for Taako to actually process the words it said though, and once he did he quickly nodded.

“Oh, oh yeah! Yeah of course, uh, thanks a whole bunch. Appreciate the save, you can get back to the whole guard thingy now,” he said. He hoped the construct would take the cue and head back to patrolling the castle. Instead it simply stayed where it was, still kneeling in front of him, almost expectantly. “Uh, okay…” Taako said, getting kind of nervous now. Taking a deep breath, he stood up a bit straighter, trying to appear as formal and official as he could as he spoke next.

“I hereby give you permission to return to your sacred order of guarding Her Royal Majesty. You are dismissed from my service,” he tried.

A few seconds passed, and the thing was still staring at him.

“Oh come on! Is there like, a button or something?” Taako whined. Before he could get too close to check though the thing stood up again, the sudden movement making him jump back in surprise.

“Formal request that sire dispels protective charm so that I may return to my sacred duty of guarding Her Royal Majesty’s castle?” it said, and Taako nearly slapped himself at that.

“Right! Fuck, right, the spell. Of course, I’ll just uh, undo that for ya buddy,” he said. Biting his lip and trying not to show how nervous he was, he pointed his wand back at the thing. Speaking a clumsy arcane word, he attempted to dispel the magic from before. He hadn’t even been all that sure what he was casting the first time, he was honestly shocked it had worked. Once he cast, the guard stood there for another few seconds.

“Formal request that sire dispels protective charm so that I may return to my sacred duty of guarding Her Royal Majesty’s castle?” it repeated, and Taako groaned.

“Okay. Okay I just, must’ve mispronounced something. I got it this time,” he said, casting another spell at the thing to try and undo the magic. Despite the attempt to look confident as he cast, he wasn’t surprised when the spell seemed to fizzle away when it touched the sentinel.

“Request that sire dispels protective charm so that I may return to my sacred duty of guarding Her Royal Majesty’s castle?” it said for a third fucking time, and Taako’s eyes were starting to dart back to the castle wall now. He’d been standing around here for far too long. Someone was bound to notice him soon.

“Shit, shit okay, this is bad. Come on, I cast it, there’s gotta be some way to _un_ cast it,” he said, mostly mumbling to himself.

“Request that sire dispels protective charm so that-” the downright irritating construct started up again, and Taako snapped at him in frustration.

“So you can get back to you sacred duty I get it! I’m working on it _my dude!”_ he snapped, and he was kind of surprised when the sentinel actually stopped speaking. He had figured it was just on some sort of automatic loop.

“You… don’t actually know how to dispel it, do you?” it asked, and that one didn’t sound like some sort of automatic pre-programmed response. The thing almost sounded annoyed with him.

“I’m working on it!” he insisted, although the truth was he was real fucking lost on what to do here. He hadn’t been thinking when he cast that spell. He didn’t even know how these sentinels worked. They weren’t exactly elementals, but Taako was pretty sure he’d thrown out a butchered version of planar binding at the thing. He didn’t even really _know_ that spell, or at least, he didn’t think he did.

“Respectful request that sire perhaps works on it a bit faster,” it said, and Taako glared up at the thing.

“That sire sounded pretty sarcastic,” he said, and it shook its head which fuck, this thing was creepy.

“Not at all sire,” it said.

“Okay! Okay, look, this is what we’re gonna do. I’m just gonna _go,_ and you stay here, keep protecting your sacred queen or whatever, and we forget all about the little protective charm. Don’t even worry about it my dude, later!” Taako said, because it was right, he had no fucking idea how to dispel this thing. He wasn’t about to stick around any longer though and risk being caught.

As he started walking away, he heard heavy, clanking footsteps following behind him.

“Hey! No, I said stay here,” Taako said, turning back around and chastising it like it was some stray dog trying to follow him home.

“I cannot stay here to continue my sacred duty of guarding Her Royal Majesty until you dispel the protective charm put on me,” it said. Which yeah, what was it been saying this whole damn time, but that didn’t make it any less frustrating.

“Well I _can’t_ dispel it, so just stay here and forget about the charm. I don’t need anymore protecting,” he tried to insist, continuing to walk away. The damn sentinel continued to follow after him.

“I cannot leave you while the protective charm is still in effect. You do not seem to be particularly skilled in either magic or combat. The chances of you getting into danger again are quite high,” it said, and Taako huffed at that. When he turned back around, the thing was still staring at him with its black metal face and shining gemstone eyes.

“Rude. Look bud, this ain’t gonna work. I don’t know what the fuck I did, so you’re gonna have to figure something out,” he said, and he really doubted the construct would be able to come up with a solution for all of this. Sure, it was an extremely sophisticated one, but it wasn’t exactly alive.

“If you are incapable of dispelling the charm, request that we return to Her Royal Majesty’s castle so that I may continue to guard her until a solution has been found,” he said, and Taako immediately shook his head at that, starting to walk away from the castle even faster. The damn animated metal skeleman just matched his pace step for step, of course.

“Oh hell no! Do you have any idea how much trouble I could get in for this?” he asked, turning a corner and trying to stick to back alleys. They weren’t exactly safe, but apparently this giant guard was stuck on ‘Protect Taako’ mode, and he really didn’t want to risk too many people seeing this.

“Tampering with the Queen’s royal guards in arcane or manual means such as this can count for both an obstruction of royal security and thievery of the Queen’s possession. Such charges can face anywhere from five to ten years in the stockade,” the sentinel listed off, and Taako nodded sharply at that. It had been a rhetorical question, but he should have expected the thing to have an answer.

“Exactly! I ain’t fucking with that. Taako is out of here!” he insisted. He expected the guard to start demanding to be taken back to the castle again, but it was actually quiet for a long moment. The only sound was its clunking footsteps as it following along after him. Taako took that time to try and think this through. He couldn’t stay here any longer, not with the chance of someone seeing him with a royal guard following along after him like a lost puppy so high. He needed to leave, and Taako hated traveling at night but he didn’t have much of a choice.

“Taako?” the sentinel asked finally, the name sounding awkward in its mouth. He stopped, turning back to look at the thing questioning. “Your name… is Taako?” it clarified, and Taako nodded.

“Yeah, got it in one big guy,” he said, and there was a long moment as they both just stood there. He guessed it made sense, he doubted the sentinel was programmed to be all that chatty. The fact that it had so much personality was honestly real fucking surprising. Taako knew the Queen was powerful, but this was something else. “What about you?” he asked. The guard’s skull like head actually tilted to the side in confusion. Something about the movement reminded him of a bird, but that might have just been all the feathers on its cloak. “You got a name?” he clarified, and he could almost hear when it click in the thing’s head.

“Kravitz,” it supplied, “I am called Kravitz.” Taako had expected something like 'Guard #22156903' so that was both a surprise, and a lot easier to remember.

“Well Kravitz, I’m real fucking sorry about this, but I ain’t sticking around to get tried for treason,” he said. Kravitz followed along after him as Taako made a beeline out of the city. He didn’t have much of a plan of where he was going yet, but he never had much of a plan for anything. He’d still managed to survive this long, so he must’ve been doing something right.

“Formal request that you dispel protective charm so that I may stop you from stealing me,” Kravitz said, some very thinly veiled anger in his voice now.

“Yeah, not happening,” Taako replied.

“Formal request that charm is dispelled so that I may smack the incapable wizard,” Kravitz continued, and Taako crossed his arms in anger, trying to walk faster. Kravitz had absolutely no trouble keeping exactly a foot or so behind him, slightly off to his left.

“Nope, no can do. Even if I could I wouldn’t want to now,” he said. That wasn’t entirely true, Taako would vastly prefer being rid of this thing, but still. Threatening to smack him was not making him want to help this thing any more.

“Formal request that this night not get any worse somehow,” Kravitz said, an absolutely exacerbated tone to his voice. Taako gave a little bitter laugh at that, actually nodding in agreement.

“Yeah, you and me both buddy.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So I did not mean to be starting a new fic, but I got this idea and it would not leave my head no matter what I did. We'll see where it goes, but I'm pretty excited for it. I don't do enough straight up AUs, and they're always so much fun. This AU is vaguely fairytail esc in a beauty and the beast meets Pinocchio sort of fusion. 
> 
> as always, thanks for reading and i hope you enjoy!


	2. Acceptable Enough

By the time Taako made it out of the city it was late as fuck. The sun was fully set and the only real light was coming from the weird glowing orb in Kravitz’s abdomen. It wasn’t particularly bright, but it was enough to allow Taako to walk pretty safely down the road with the help of his darkvision. At the very least, he could tell if someone else was coming down the road and run off into the underbrush. That only happened twice though, and each time Kravitz just stood there, an intimidating statue in the center of the road.

At least no one had stopped to actually question it so far. When Taako watched from the darkness both people had given the sentinel a pretty wide berth. He couldn’t blame them, those things were creepy as fuck. He tended not to care much about the royalty and things like that, but there was a reason there were so many rumors about the Queen being some weird ruler of death.

“Hey ya know, maybe next time you could like, _not_ stand in the center of the road for all to see,” Taako said as he untangle himself from some bushes, trying to head back to the road after hiding. Kravitz didn’t make any move to help him. He guessed a thorny vine stubbornly clinging to his pant leg didn’t qualify as enough of a danger for the charm to make him step in. A pity, but it was good to know the limits.

“I find no reason to stay out of sight, sire,” Kravitz said. At this point Taako was pretty damn sure that the whole ‘sire’ shit was sarcastic. He hadn’t known these things could _be_ sarcastic, but apparently they had a lot more personality than he’d given them credit for. It was a little freaky. Like, Taako knew that it wasn’t a real person, but the whole giving the thing a personality made all this feel a little bit like a kidnapping. It was nearly enough to make him feel a little guilty. Not quite enough, but too close for comfort as far as he was concerned.

After maybe another thirty or so minutes of walking Taako was exhausted, and it was far enough out of the capital that they should be safe to at least stop for the rest of the night. Even still he made sure to go a far distance off the road, and after a moment Kravitz did follow along, seeming to get the picture that he wasn't coming back. Taako made a mental note not to fucking try and stealth anywhere with this dude tagging along. Every step he took caused twigs to break and plants to rattle as he basically crashed his way through the woods.

Eventually they made it to a small clearing, and Taako let out a sigh of relief as he started setting up a quick makeshift camp. Nothing fancy, only the bare minimum fire and a place to sleep.

The whole time, Kravitz stood at the edge of the clearing. He didn’t make any move to help, or sit down, or anything that a person might do. Instead he stood there impassively, staring at Taako the whole time he worked.

“And that should do it. Fuck, I’m beat,” Taako said, checking on the small fire one more time after rolling out his sleeping mat. Sitting down Taako winced, hissing air through his teeth as his side stung sharply. Right, he forgot that dude from before had caught him with his knife a few times. Adrenaline was a hell of a fucking drug sometimes. Huffing in annoyance, he started rooting through his pack for his first aid kit. He was at least smart enough to always carry one of those around.

Lifting his shirt up, the cut wasn’t as bad as he feared. Wouldn’t need stitches at least, which was the most important part. He quickly started cleaning and bandaging it, biting the hem of his shirt in his mouth as he did to keep it up and out of the way.

He was about halfway done when he remembered that he wasn’t the only one in the clearing. Looking up at Kravitz, the sentinel didn’t say anything, standing and staring as impassively as ever. He guessed protect said nothing about helping bandage him up afterwards either. Despite the complete lack of any sort of visual cue, Taako couldn’t help but feel like the dude was judging him. Even still, he didn’t bother spitting the shirt out or anything, finishing dressing the rest of the wound before finally letting it drop. Once that was done Taako let out a sigh, reaching around to feel the cut on the back of his neck. It didn’t feel as bad as the one on his side, and he couldn’t really get back there anyway. Instead of fussing around with it too much he cleaned it as best as he could and slapped some bandages back there. It was definitely getting close to midnight at this point, and he really needed to pass out sooner rather than later.

The construct guard still hadn’t moved in all this time. It was almost enough for Taako to think that it was powered down or something, but its eyes and that light in its stomach or whatever were both still glowing strong.

“Has anyone ever told you you’re real fucking creepy my dude?” Taako said, because it was too quite and he wanted to be sure that the thing _hadn’t_ actually turned itself onto sleep mode or some shit. Whether it had or not, it still felt like it was looking right at him with those weird glowing gems. Damn, Taako wasn’t sure he would be _able_ to sleep with that thing watching him the whole time.

“No,” Kravitz said after a moment, and if there was one thing that _wasn’t_ creepy about the sentinel it was its voice. It was actually a pretty nice voice, softer than Taako would have ever expected from the thing. Right now it sounded mostly confused by the comment too. “But I have not gotten to… converse, with many people. Perhaps because I am… creepy, as you say?” he added, and Taako felt his shoulders slump at that.

“Man, don’t be like that. Now you’re gonna make me feel bad,” he said, although it was pretty impossible to tell if this guy was actually bothered by any of this. Hell, Taako wasn’t even sure if it _could_ be bothered. It seemed like it could, it had definitely been annoyed and pissed at Taako taking him away from his post. But it wasn’t actually real either, so who knew where the line was.

“This was not my intention sire,” he said, and Taako just grumbled unintelligibly at that. 

“Yeah yeah, well, hate to be the one to break it to you, but you’re creepy as fuck my man. Can you at least like, sit down or something? Your standing is making me nervous,” Taako said, and Kravitz tilted his head in confusion at that.

“Sitting would greatly reduce the vantage point for spotting any sort of dangers or intruders that might happen upon us as you sleep,” Kravitz said, and Taako figured he should have expected an answer like that. Didn’t make it any less annoying though.

“Fine, whatever, I’m too tired to argue with you about this. I’m gonna try and get some sleep,” he said, laying fully down now. He turned so that his back was towards the construct, because at least that way he could maybe try and pretend it wasn’t staring at him all night.

“Goodnight sire,” Kravitz said after a short moment of silence. It was a little surprising, this thing didn't exactly seem keen to initiate conversations. It was a pretty easy exchange though, so he guessed it wasn't too weird.

“Night,” Taako answered simply. It took a long time for him to fall asleep like he expected, and every so often he would glance over his shoulder at the sentinel. Every time it was still standing at attention, and it was hard from this angle to tell if it was staring at him or straight ahead into the woods. He wasn't sure which one would be worse. 

Either way, it was incredibly unsettling, and Taako did not get a lot of sleep that night.

Despite that, he was still waking up as soon as the sun was up over the horizon. He didn’t want to be, but he needed to keep moving. Someone was sure to have noticed that a guard was missing by now, or they would soon. He meant what he said last night about not getting tried for treason over this. So even though he was tired as fuck, he forced himself to get up, starting to pack up the small camp he’d set out as he shoved a bit of ration into his mouth.

Kravitz’s attention definitely shifted back onto him as he started moving around again. He didn’t say anything though, but yeah, not exactly a chatty fellow.

“Alright, that should do it,” Taako said once he finished packing. He really wanted to get back to sleep, but that wasn’t an option.

“Formal request to return to the castle so that I may continue my sacred duty, now that you have had some sleep and come to your senses?” Kravitz said, and Taako probably should have expected that to be the first thing out of its mouth. Slinging his bag over his shoulder, he turned to face the construct fully. It was a little less creepy in the daylight, but that wasn’t saying much.

“Look, I meant what I said last night. I’m not about to get thrown in the goddamn gallows for stealing one of the Queen’s weird living dolls. I was just trying not to get murdered when I cast that spell, I don’t know how it screwed up so bad,” he said. Turning and starting away from camp, he didn’t bother waiting or checking to see if Kravitz was going to follow him. He wasn’t very surprised when he heard the sentinel clunking along after him a few seconds later.

“Formal request that you find a way to dispel the protective charm so that I may go _home,”_ Kravitz said after they started walking. It stopped Taako in his tracks though. He definitely hadn't been expecting that. Well, the formal request thing yeah, heard it a million times already, but he didn’t really think this guy had much of a concept of a thing like home.

“Hey, are you like… a person in there?” he asked after a moment, and Kravitz tilted his head to the side again, in that way he did when something obviously confused him. It was still pretty birdlike, but it was also helpful in actually allowing Taako to pick up some sort of emotion on this guy.

“Request that you clarify the question,” it said, and Taako sighed.

“I mean like, were you always some weird construct thing? Or were you ever like, ya know, alive?” he asked. There were a _lot_ of rumors about the queen, and Taako had figured most of them were bullshit made up by judgy people with too much time on their hands. If some of the uh, less scrupulous rumors about her were true though, it would explain the weird touches of personality that Kravitz had. Hell, it would explain why he had a proper _name_ at all, and wasn't just another nameless guard.

“I was created by Her Royal Majesty with the purpose of guarding her castle. I was never alive as you would consider,” it said, and Taako let out a small sigh of relief at that. He really didn’t want to be dealing with some sort of ghost in the machine scenario here.

“Okay, so you’re just like a magic guard the Queen made, and you wanna go back to the castle because it’s the whole reason you exist and stuff, right?” he asked, because he actually did feel a little bad now. Not enough to go back, but still, enough that it was going to be real fucking annoying if he didn’t figure something out.

“Correct sire,” Kravitz said, and after a moment Taako sighed.

“Alright. _Alright,”_ he started, taking a deep breath. He wasn’t going to go back to the castle, but he didn’t actually want some weird construct following him around for the rest of his life either. So they would just have to compromise. “I’m not going back to the palace, I can't. Already told ya that, that one’s settled,” he continued, and Kravitz started to speak again but Taako cut him off. “But! I promise, I’m gonna look into a way to dispelling the charm, alright? Number one, well, number two priority, but still real fucking high up there. And I swear as soon as I figure it out you can go back and take up your sacred duty again or whatever,” he finished.

Kravitz was quiet for a long moment, and it was impossible to tell what the thing was thinking or feeling. Eventually though it nodded, at least seeming somewhat alright with these terms.

“Acceptable enough,” it said, and Taako couldn’t help chuckling a little at that. Acceptable enough was gonna have to work for the both of them.

Other than the actual sound of their walking, (one much louder than the other) the trek through the woods was almost unnervingly quiet. Kravitz didn’t seem interested in talking much at all, and Taako hadn’t expected him to be. It was still weird though, having someone there as a silent figure always at his back. He was hoping he’d get more used to it over the course of the day, but by the time he had to take a break for lunch it didn’t seem like that was happening.

Taako had pulled over to rest on a log that had gotten knocked down probably ages ago, and once again Kravitz was standing off to the side, silent as a statue. If Taako didn’t know any better, he would have thought he was one. At midday, it was harder to see the blue glow, but it was still there shining stubbornly.

“Crackers?” Taako asked suddenly, holding out a handful of the crackers he’d been snacking on with his lunch. They were pretty stale at this point, but he’d put off restocking when he was back in town. The sentinel's head turned to the side some, taking in the sight for a long moment.

“I cannot eat,” he said in as blunt a voice as possible after a moment. That certainly made sense, and Taako took his handful back.

“Yeah, I figured. It just seemed rude not to offer,” he said with a shrug. "Fucking shame, you don't know what you're missing. Food is the best shit there is," he added. Maybe he was bias considering his own cooking was banging, but he didn't mention that part. It wasn't important.

"It looks... strange," Kravitz said, and it sounded like the thing was judging him. Taako was pretty sure he was judging him.

"Rude," he said, finishing the last of his crackers. Kravitz didn't say anything else, instead actually shrugging in response, which was definitely a bit strange for a weird metal construct. This whole thing was weird, and Taako wasn’t sure how to deal with it. If for no other reason he’d want to figure out a way to free this thing from his service so that shit got a little less awkward.

It thankfully wasn’t too much longer before Taako finished eating and they were moving again. Taako had a rough idea of where the next town was, and thankfully it was close by. A little too close by if he was being honest. He wouldn’t be able to stay there very long either without someone probably getting suspicious of Kravitz and all. Still, he had almost no money and was basically out of supplies, so he needed to stop and at least try and restock a little.

By the time they managed to reach the next town the sun had already started to set. Not having to spend the night out camping was a relief, but as Taako looked for an inn or somewhere else cheap to stay he was becoming aware of another problem. He didn’t bring it up until he found a place that looked promising, waiting and letting Kravitz clunk along after him as they looked.

Stopping in front of a cheap inn that looked like it didn’t ask a lot of questions though, Taako was highly aware of the problem.

“Okay, so,” he said, turning to Kravitz. It was getting late enough that there weren’t too many people out on the streets, but he’d really prefer getting them both out of sight sooner rather than later. “I’m gonna need you to stay out here for the night.”

“I cannot comply with that order sire,” Kravitz said, and Taako frowned at that. He was really hoping that this would have been simple. He should have known it wouldn't be.

“Uh, alright but this ain’t really a choice. I can’t just _walk in_ with you, ya feel?” Taako said, hoping despite himself that he could reason with this guy. It much didn’t seem like the kind of thing that was possible though. It definitely felt like Kravitz had his commands and he was going to follow them no matter what Taako said.

“The charm you placed on me requires that I protect you. I cannot protect you if I cannot see you,” Kravitz said, and Taako wasn’t sure if he was laying it out in simple terms because he was basically an incredibly advanced automaton or because he thought Taako was an idiot. Maybe it was both.

“A great way to protect me would be to make sure I’m not thrown in jail, which I _will be_ if I’m seen with your shiny mug,” Taako said, hoping he could maybe appeal to that line of logic. He was basically a robot after all, there had to be some sort of logical argument he could give him to make him listen, right?

“I believe the charm is only concerned about physical danger. If you were arrested you would be taken back to the palace and I would be able to return to my sacred duty of protecting her royal majesty,” Kravitz said, and Taako made an offended look at that. He certainly hadn’t thought this guy cared much about him other than what the charm made him before, but it was definitely good to know the length at which he was willing to sell him out.

“Oh I see, cool cool. If that’s how we’re gonna be,” he grumbled, snatching his hat off of his head. Rummaging through his bag, he got a large scarf out as well. Kravitz didn’t seem able to do much to stop him as Taako threw the items of clothes over him, trying to cover as much of his metallic form as possible.

“Remove these garments,” Kravitz said, not actually making any move to take them off himself. It looked ridiculous, the hat didn’t fully cover up the glow from his eyes and the scarf was a tattered mess compared to the cloak he was wearing.

“No can do bud,” he said, telling himself it would have to be good enough before turning and strolling into the front of the inn.

"Remove these. Taako. Taako wait," Kravitz said, Taako not waiting. After a moment he heard Kravitz following along after him, and he couldn’t blame the weird look the lady at the front desk gave them as they walked in.

“We’d like a room please,” Taako said, giving her as friendly and charming a grin as he could manage. Which was pretty damn charming if he did say so himself. There was still a long moment where she looked between the two of them, and after a few seconds she nodded.

“One bed or two sir?” she asked, and Taako made sure not to give a notable sigh of relief at her apparently deciding that this was way above her pay grade.

“Just the one would be perfect,” he said. He was not gonna pay for an extra bed and Kravitz definitely didn’t need to sleep. The woman nodded, going through a few keys that hung up behind her before picking one. The price was about what Taako expected, and yeah, he needed to get a job or find some other way to get some more money real soon. Handing over the money, Taako took the key and flashed the woman another smile.

“Pleasure doing business with you. Come on Krav,” Taako said, starting off into the direction of their room. Kravitz started following along again after a few second delay, clanking along steadily. Taako wasn’t sure if it was more or less suspicious that he hadn’t said anything the whole time they’d been there, but what’s done was done.

Thankfully no one bothered them as they went up to their room, and Kravitz seemed content enough to actually follow along without any sort of issue now that they were inside. Of course, the dude’s whole thing was that he apparently couldn’t let Taako out of his sight for five goddamn minutes, so that made sense.

As soon as he heard Kravitz shut the door behind them Taako let his bags drop to the floor and crashed into the bed. It wasn’t a particularly good one, and Taako cursed as springs immediately started poking into his back. After a few moments of trying to find the most comfortable position Taako gave up, huffing in annoyance. When he looked over at Kravitz he had thrown the hat and scarf off as well, taking up watch by the door.

“I swear, it’d be more comfortable to just sleep outside again,” he complained, adjusting in bed again. He didn’t expect Kravitz to actually respond, he didn’t seem particularly bothered to engage in any sort of menial small talk. So he was pretty surprised when the construct started moving forward from where he had been standing impassively at the door.

“As you wish sire,” he said, starting to pick up the bags Taako had dropped. Immediately he pushed himself up onto his elbows, caught off guard.

“Hey, hey, hey big guy! Man, we have got to teach you hyperbole. We’re staying right here for the night, I’m not sleeping out in the cold again no matter how uncomfortable the bed,” he insisted. Kravitz stopped what he was doing, pausing almost comically with the bags still in his arms.

And then he dropped them all unceremoniously to the floor.

“Of _course_ sire,” Kravitz said, and Taako was glaring at him in suspicion now. So far this thing had more personality and was a lot smarter than he had expected, and he was pretty damn sure that was deliberate.

“Are you fucking with me, my dude?” he asked, and the construct shook his head.

“Would never dream of it sire,” he said, which didn’t sound very convincing. Taako wasn’t sure if Kravitz was capable of lying, but it sure was seeming more and more likely. Couldn’t say he was super thrilled about that.

“Alright then, well, goodnight Kravitz,” he said, laying down again and turning so that his back was facing the construct. When he reached over to turn off the small light by the bed the room was still glowing a soft blue from Kravitz. There was really no way to completely forget and pretend he wasn’t there, as much as Taako wanted to.

“Goodnight sire,” Kravitz said, the words still feeling distinctly sarcastic.

Yeah, hopefully Taako could figure out a way to reverse that charm as fast as possible. He was not looking forward to Kravitz sticking around all that long.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> so i'm glad people are excited for this new fic! I'm definitely having a lot of fun with the idea so far, gotta enjoy that good old enemies to lovers trope. Gonna try and aim for a chapter every two weeks or so, on wednesdays if I manage to swing it. We'll see how that goes though, like all my schedules it's subject to change at a moment's notice. 
> 
> as always, thanks for reading and I hope you enjoyed!


	3. Real People Change

Kravitz was… very frustrated.

Taako was asleep. Taako had been asleep for about three hours now. Nothing had tried to get in, there were no threats and the room was too small to bother even trying to patrol. Walking would only serve to keep Taako awake if he tried, he was sure.

Kravitz was very frustrated, and he was also _incredibly_ bored.

That hadn’t been much of an issue back at the palace. His days hadn’t been exactly thrilling, but they were satisfying. Maybe not to a real person but to him, a creation with a very specific job to do, he was good at doing it and that brought him enjoyment. Contentment. He always knew what he needed to do, and what he was doing was important, it had a _purpose_. There weren’t a lot of him, or well, guards like him. They were special, crafted by the Queen herself and entrusted with her safety.

But now he was stuck here. Instead of protecting the one who made him and ruled a whole nation he was protecting some rogue wizard who couldn’t even undo his own spell. Who’d never done anything for him but steal him from his duty without a single thought for how it might affect him. Only thinking of his own self. 

Kravitz was forced to protect him, but thankfully nothing in the spell he’d cast seemed inclined to make him like this fool.

They had at least managed to reach an agreement though. He was going to try to find some way to undo this spell, and if he could Kravitz would not turn him into his Queen for stealing one of her most prized possessions. He wasn’t too pleased with that deal, was even less pleased that it didn’t even seem to be Taako’s first priority, but he didn’t have much of a choice. As tempting as it was to throw the elf over his shoulder and walk back to the palace, that seemed to draw too close to putting him in danger for the spell to allow it. Like how it didn’t seem to want him to leave the elf alone for long, or to let him smack some sense into him. Carrying him straight to people that were likely to capture and punish him went against that order to protect.

It was annoying.

He didn’t like it. He didn’t like how much he was _feeling._

He wondered if it was because of the spell, or if he’d just never had reason to feel like this before. Probably the latter. He’d been mostly content before all of this, but it wasn’t like frustration was a completely foreign emotion to him. He did _have_ emotions. They just didn’t tend to be this long lasting, or this vivid.

He might have let that influence his actions some. It was hard not to. He wasn’t used to going against orders, or going against anything that wasn’t immediately hostile really. But Taako was frustrating and annoying and inconsiderate. So maybe Kravitz dropped his things harder than he needed to. Maybe he intentionally misinterpreted some things. He didn’t feel like he was much to blame considering the circumstances.

Taako ended up sleeping for approximately nine hours. Kravitz didn’t know how much the different races needed to sleep. He didn’t know much about most living things if he was being honest, especially not about the parts that kept them alive. He knew effective ways of fighting and capturing living things, and he spent a good time in the Queen’s garden. That still meant that the most interaction he got with living things was either in attacking them, or with flowers and birds. Or with the Queen herself, but that was different.

Nine hours of sleep felt like a long time to sleep. It certainly felt too long for what an elf would need. He'd been fairly sure they meditated before meeting Taako.

“The plan for today sire?” he asked as soon as Taako was sitting up in bed. He had complained about the comfort of it when they’d first got in, or well the lack of comfort, but it didn’t seem to hamper his sleep any. The question seemed to catch Taako off guard, looking over at him and blinking his eyes in confusion for a few long seconds as he processed the question. His hair was a mess. He hadn’t taken it out of the braid he’d had it in the night before, and about half of it had fallen out or gotten tangled in some way. He was still wearing the clothes from the day before, and they were crumpled and out of place.

The sire was maybe a little bit sarcastic.

“Huh? Oh right, you’re a thing,” Taako grumbled, getting out of bed. Kravitz didn’t move as he started stumbling around the room, heading over to the bags he’d dropped on the floor the night before. He hadn’t moved them or the garments Taako had thrown on him, the hat and scarf still lying where he left them.

“I do not understand why you are surprised by this. I am forced to stay in your presence due to the protective charm you had cast on me,” he supplied. Taako rolled his eyes, starting to dig through the bags for some fresh clothes.

“Yeah no, I’m well aware my dude,” Taako said. He seemed to have picked out an outfit now, having thrown a few garments onto the bed. He pulled off the shirt he’d been wearing yesterday, and then froze. He stood there for several seconds, staring at Kravitz while holding his shirt in his hands. “Um, you mind?” he asked finally, his skin slightly darker than it was a moment ago. He was fairly sure that was a sign of embarrassment in most humanoid species.

“Unclear what the issue is. Formal request that you get dressed so that we may continue,” Kravitz said.

He knew why people wore clothes. He didn’t actually need the issue explained to him, even if he wasn’t sure why it was such a _big_ problem considering everything. He wasn’t exactly a person after all. Still, he knew what modesty was, he had his own garment.

But he didn’t like Taako, and pretending he saw no problem clearly made him more upset. Plus it was funny.

“It’s- it’s clothes! I’m not getting naked in front of some weird, constantly staring- fucking hell,” Taako said. He quickly gathered up his clothes, and Kravitz wasn’t sure what he was doing as he watched him walk across the room. There was a small closet in the corner, and with no explanation Taako shut himself inside. Very quickly Kravitz could hear thumping around in there.

“Taako?” he asked after a moment. He heard another curse and a louder bang, and for a second he was starting towards the closet without thinking.

“Give me a minute! I’m fine,” Taako said, and Kravitz stopped walking. It took a second for him to realize what had happened. Right, protection charm. At least Taako insisting he was fine seemed enough in this situation to keep Kravitz from barging in on him to check his status. After a few more seconds Taako came stumbling out of the closet, dressed in fresh clothes. His hair was even more of a disaster than when he went in, and Kravitz watched as he quickly had to adjust his sleeves and pants.

“Request to discuss the plans for today now that you are dressed?” he asked as Taako got himself situated. The elf sighed, some clear annoyance as he went over to a small mirror hanging up on the wall. He grimaced as he looked at himself, quickly starting to untangle his hair.

“Right, yeah okay plans. The plan is I need to make some fucking cash, fast preferably,” he said. In the mirror Kravitz could see his eyes move to linger on his form, staring at something. “How much do you think that cape is worth big guy?” he asked.

“We are not selling my cape,” he snapped. He pulled the fabric a bit tighter around him, as if he was worried that Taako would try and take it from him. He might for all he knew, he did not trust this person. He certainly didn’t think he would consider his feelings. It was clear Taako didn’t expect him to have feelings at all. Which would have been fine, most people had no need to know about them, but he was _stuck_ with Taako. So him not taking that into account was... frustrating.

“Oh, so _now_ clothes are important,” Taako grumbled under his breath, working another tangle out of his hair. “Fine, we won’t hock the cape yet,” he relented.

“Ever,” Kravitz corrected, not liking that ‘yet.’

“Uhuh, anyway, in that case we’ll have to do things the old fashioned way,” Taako said. Kravitz wasn’t sure what he meant by that, it certainly wasn’t very specific.

“Clarification?” he asked. Through the mirror Taako gave him a grin, and Kravitz had not seem many people smile. Most of the ones he’d seen he would have categorized as ‘serene’ or ‘content’ and sometimes even ‘playful.’ 

Taako’s smile was much more… menacing.

“You just sit back and let me handle it, Skellington.”

“My name is Kravitz,” he supplied, and Taako’s smile quickly faded as he sighed and shook his head. He turned back towards the mirror, starting to twist his now untangled hair up into a bun.

“You’re no fun,” he grumbled.

Taako didn’t tell Kravitz what the actual plan for making money was. He was a little annoyed by that, as well as by the fact that there did not seem to be much else after ‘get some money.' He could extrapolate that Taako would want to keep moving away from the capital, although that didn’t tell him much. It certainly didn’t work towards getting him out from under this spell. There wasn’t much he could do but stand around and watch as Taako got himself ready for the day.

It took longer than it had the other morning. It might have been because they were in an actual building rather than a camp, but he wasn’t sure that was the case. Taako spent a while in front of the mirror, carefully doing his hair, then scrubbing his face with a rag and applying some simple make up. He threw a hat on, readjusted his clothes, put on a different hat instead, and decorated his ears with earrings.

Finally he stepped back from the mirror with a satisfied nod, and Kravitz had to resist the urge to let out a sigh. He couldn’t breathe, there was no reason for him to make that sound other than to let Taako know how annoyed he actually was.

“Alright, let’s get this show on the road,” Taako said, heading over and grabbing up his bag. He paused as he went past Kravitz though, a frown on his face.

“What is the delay?” he asked, and Taako was biting his lip as he looked him over.

“You’re just… so fucking noticeable my dude. You stand out like a big shiny and glowing thumb,” he said. It wasn’t like he was wrong, but stealth had never been a need before now. The palace guards weren’t meant to be hidden.

“I can follow you… at a distance,” Kravitz offered after a moment. It surely wasn’t an ideal solution in Taako’s eyes, but this wasn’t an ideal situation for any of them. After a moment he nodded, seeming resigned to the suggestion for now.

Staying true to his word, once they were out of the inn Kravitz hung back until Taako was about thirty feet away. At that point he started walking again, keeping the large hat the elf had been wearing in his sights at all time. There weren’t a lot of people out and about yet, but it was still enough that if he didn’t focus there was a real chance he could lose him in the crowd. As much as _Kravitz_ didn’t care about that, the spell was not happy with the idea.

It wasn’t long before they got to a courtyard near the center of this town. There had been a similar area by the palace. Kravitz had never been, it wasn’t under his patrol, but he’d been able to see it while walking through the upper floors of the castle. It was a bustling place full of little carts and shops, people selling small trinkets and food and playing music.

The days where he could hear the music from the palace had been very nice days.

This place was very similar to that one, although maybe not quiet as large. It was still just as busy, and Kravitz found himself moving fast to keep Taako in his sights. There were vendors and people shouting and bards sitting on corners, containers for coins set out in front of them as they played. It was so much busier being in the midst of it instead of watching from a distance.

It was different, actually getting to hear the music up close. He wished he could stop to focus on it, but Taako kept rushing forward, so Kravitz kept following after him.

There was a second where Kravitz thought he lost sight of the wizard. The people in the crowd were avoiding him, giving him a wide berth as he stormed through the plaza. It was only for a quick moment, but Kravitz could feel his thoughts get drowned out by the spell, a single focus on _Find Protect Save_ pouring through his head.

Then he caught sight of the elf. He’d found an empty spot in the plaza and had started setting something up. With a flick of his wand Kravitz watched as a table and grill sized for a dollhouse grew from where Taako had placed them on the ground. Suddenly they were life sized in front of him, and with another tap of his wand the grill alighted with flames.

Then Taako threw his hands out, a huge, showy grin on his face as he started calling out to the crowd. 

“Feast your eyes and feast your mouth on the greatest spectacle of arcane arts and culinary talent that is Sizzle It Up with Taako! We got something for everyone and if we don’t, we’ll transmute it until we do!” he shouted. It caught a few people’s attention, stopping to watch the new display with mild interest. Taako rolled with the attention, pulling several pieces of fruit out of his bag and leaving them on the table at his side. He scanned the crowd for a quick moment, before catching one spectator’s eyes and pointing at him.

“You there! How do you feel about apples?” he asked, picking up an apple off the tray. The man he pointed at shrugged, looking a little uncomfortable with being put on the spot.

“They’re fine?” he said, and Taako nodded.

“Right, right. You don’t sound very enthused though my guy. No worries, if apples aren’t your thing, how about an orange?” he asked, tossing the apple into the air. When it came down into his other hand, it was indeed now an orange. There was a small smattering of applause, and Taako didn’t wait for the guy he’d called on to answer before continuing, throwing the orange up into the air again.

“Or if that’s not your jam, maybe a lime?” the fruit was a lime as it landed in his hand, and Taako didn’t pause as the crowd started getting larger, more people stopping to see what the intriguing new display was. “Or is life giving you lemons? How about a banana?” he continued, each time the fruit went into the air it changed. It was in all honesty a much more competent control of magic than Kravitz had expected given the previous attempts he'd seen.

“I got a feeling y’all are wanting something a bit more substantial than fruit though,” Taako said, tossing the now banana up into the air one more time. This time when Kravitz followed it, he watched as it broke up into several small chunks, pieces of dark meat landing on the grill with a loud sizzle that was immediately drowned out in applause.

The show continued on like that. Taako transmuting foods, and sometimes things that weren’t food, into other foods before tossing them onto the grill. It was a spectacle, one clearly calculated to catch and keep an audience’s attention. It certainly seemed to work, everything from calling on random people in the crowd to the overly flashy magic to the way his earrings would swing and click together a means of keeping the people’s eyes on him.

It wasn’t anything like what Kravitz had been expecting from the short amount of time he’d known the elf.

Kravitz couldn’t eat, and had never been tempted to before. By the time the show was winding to a close though, he almost wished he could. Taako managed to make the food look good. He certainly managed to make the whole thing an experience.

The reaction of those who bought the finished meals seemed to enjoy them. The clear delight on their faces and the speed at which the food was taken would have been enough to make him curious, even without everything else. There wasn't anything anyone could do about that though, so he pushed the thoughts to the back of his mind.

Kravitz didn’t approach Taako as he started packing up his stand. It seemed to take a bit longer than setting it up did, and by this point the crowds were starting to thin. They had spent the better part of the day out here, and Taako was right about him sticking out. It didn’t bother him, or well, at least not in the way it bothered Taako. He wasn’t sure he liked the attention on him though, the way people purposefully moved around him or startled when they got too close before they noticed him.

He moved to stand off near one of the buildings, several feet down from Taako as he finished cleaning up. A few people came up to him as he did, and Kravitz watched as he talked to them, still clearly putting on a show.

Finally he shrunk the table and grill back down and stuffed them back in his bag. Kravitz watched as he did a quick scan around the courtyard until his eyes fell on him. He didn’t come over to him either though, instead nodding before turning and heading off. Kravitz was smart enough to pick up on the obvious signal, waiting a few seconds before following along after him.

He wasn’t heading in the direction of the inn they had stayed at, although Kravitz had no idea if the plan was to stay there for another night or not. From the fact that by the time Taako had stopped and let him catch up they weren’t anywhere near the place, he would guess not. He would have guessed that Taako didn’t have a plan at all, or at least he would have this morning.

It did seem like he had some idea of what he was doing though. At the very least, that show had been clearly thought out.

“Not a bad haul, am I right?” Taako asked, that grin back on his face as he jingled a rather large coin purse in front of him.

“It was… entertaining,” Kravitz said, and complimenting Taako certainly wasn’t a high priority to him, but he wasn’t going to lie. Taako’s grin got that little bit wider, and he nodded as he turned and started walking again. Kravitz did not bother to leave a large gap like before as he followed along after him, since Taako hadn’t told him to.

“Damn right it is. Handy as fuck too, should be enough to get us to a town with a halfway decent library,” he said. Oh. So there was a plan past getting money. That was somewhat reassuring.

“Clarification on why you do not subsist with this show… Sizzle It Up With Taako?” he asked after a moment of quiet walking. Taako frowned, slowing as he seemed to think it over.

“Yeah, I’m not sure what you mean. Formal request for some layman’s terms?” he asked, and this time Kravitz did sigh.

“Why are you traveling around and not performing for a living?” he asked, and that seemed to get through to the elf. He actually stopped walking entirely, so Kravitz stopped too. It did not seem like a hard question, it certainly looked like something that a person could make enough money to live on. Or at least, it did from Taako’s reaction, Kravitz did not have a good grasp on how much money someone needed to survive. 

And it looked like Taako enjoyed it. Sure, he was well aware what putting on a show was, what it meant to be ‘acting.' He wasn’t great at people, but he was fairly sure that wasn’t all fake.

Taako looked conflicted, and after a moment that was much longer than it needed to be he sighed.

“I can’t. I’m looking for something,” he said, starting to walk again. There was a seriousness to his voice that he hadn’t expected, and Kravitz followed along after him as silently as he could manage. It was unlikely that Taako was referring to the fact that he was looking for a way to reverse the spell he had put on him. He did not know the elf too well yet, but he had a feeling he would not shy away from telling Kravitz if he could not do his show due to their current intertwined situation.

Which meant he was looking for something else.

“What is that? Perhaps it is possible that information of it was passed through the palace,” he asked. He certainly didn’t owe Taako anything, but if it was something simple to find then the wizard could then devote all of his attention to freeing him.

“Yeah, I kinda doubt that big guy,” Taako said, a hint of bitterness to his voice that he hadn’t been expecting. He had been very excited a moment ago, the way Kravitz was pretty sure was described as ‘in a good mood.' That had changed so fast though.

Real people changed so _fast._

“I see no reason not to check all possible options,” he said, and Taako looked angry now.

“Because it’s not- they’re not a thing. It’s- she’s a person. I’m looking for _someone,_ and I really fucking hope you _don’t_ know her, if I’m being honest,” he snapped. It was… understandable, even if it had taken Kravitz off guard. Kravitz had a list of every person currently incarcerated in the Queen’s royal stockade at the time of his... leave. If whoever Taako was looking for was in there, he would know.

He could understand why Taako was hoping he didn’t know this person. It would certainly make things easier for Kravitz though.

“What is her name?” he asked. Taako paused, watching him with suspicion, like somehow just asking for her name was a trap.

“Lup,” he said cautiously.

“I do not know this person,” Kravitz told him. It was the truth, there was no need to lie about that. If he did know Lup and she was in the stockade, it would have been an easy way to convince Taako to go back. The elf let out a small sigh of relief, before turning and starting off down another street.

“Good,” he muttered. It probably was a good thing for him. Kravitz didn’t know who Lup was, but it was clear that she was very important to him.

“Let’s get moving,” Taako said, starting to walk a bit faster. Kravitz followed, his body clunking along as he continued. “Got a lot of shit on my plate, but let’s see if we can’t get to a library and figure out if there’s some easy fix for our little situation here,” he said, and Kravitz nodded in agreement.

He doubted there would be an easy fix, but for once he hoped he was wrong. It would make all of this so much simpler.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> so the plan right now is to just sort of slowly but steadily update this fic as I finish up one or two of my longer fics, and then I can probably pick up the speed on this one and a few others. Kravitz's pov is always fun to write tho, as was writing Taako's sizzle it up routine. There's a lot more juggling than expected, but here we are. 
> 
> As always, thanks for reading and I hope you enjoyed!


	4. All Vital Research

The show had gone well, the show _always_ goes well. It was one of the things Taako was proudest of, and he's a pretty damn proud person too, so that was really saying something. Kravitz even seemed to enjoy it, as much as a construct could enjoy something. Still, from the amount of interest he’d shown in food before, the fact that he called it entertaining at all was some pretty high praise.

That wasn’t the point of the show though. Not for now at least. He could understand Kravitz’s confusion, he would have fucking loved to do the show full time. Taako told himself he would someday, but it wasn’t supposed to be a one man gig. He didn’t know much, but he knew that. As soon as he found Lup, they could talk about taking it on the road together.

Or at least, he hoped they could take it on the road together. He wasn’t sure what Lup… if she’d be down for that, but either way, he couldn’t focus on that until he found her.

And he couldn’t put his full attention back to finding Lup until he got rid of Kravitz.

Which brought him back around to the point of the cooking show. It was always a pretty good money maker when he found a decent spot and pulled out all the stops, put the energy into chatting up people afterwards, all that good stuff. This time had been a pretty nice haul, and hopefully worth the risk of putting himself out there after the whole, stealing one of the Queen’s guards thing.

Well, it was at least enough money to get them on a one way trip out of this town and someplace even further away. That was going to have to be enough for now. Kravitz seemed on board with this plan once there was mention of a library and research, which was a relief. It seemed like the dude had no choice but to follow him, but it also seemed like he had no problem making it known when he didn’t like a particular idea.

It was quiet as they traveled, and it was always quiet when Taako traveled. He told himself it never bothered him before, but that wasn’t entirely true. He didn’t like the quiet, but usually he was shit out of luck to do anything about it.

Now there as another person here. Or well, not a person, but still something he could talk to that could talk back. He had the _option_ to talk if he wanted to.

Taako was quickly coming to the realization that he was absolutely horrible at small talk.

“Do you think the palace is haunted?” he asked, blurting out the first question to come to his head. It was kind of impressive, it actually got Kravitz to pause, taking a moment to simply stop and stare at him. Or at least, Taako was pretty sure he was staring, he didn’t exactly have the ability to blink.

“What,” he said finally, the word coming out not as a question but as a blunt force. Wow, apparently Taako’s question wasn’t even good enough to warrant a ‘formal request for clarification’ or anything else fancy like that.

“The palace, the castle place you worked at, do you think it’s haunted? You’d probably know better than anyone, since I’m pretty sure you don’t sleep,” he elaborated. He wasn’t sure why this was the topic he’d chosen, or why they had to stop walking entirely to have this conversation. The whole point of talking during a trip was to make it not seem as slow, pretty counter-intuitive if they stopped every time.

“By ghosts?” Kravitz asked, and Taako rolled his eyes at that, starting forward again.

“No by werewolves, yes by ghosts! Those are what typically haunt places, try and keep up Krav,” he said, huffing a little and definitely regretting trying to talk.

“Oh,” Kravitz said simply, and for a moment Taako thought that was _all_ he was going to say. It wouldn’t have surprised him, he couldn’t even blame Kravitz that much if he didn’t want to justify his question with a response. “Yes. Absolutely,” he added after a very long pause, which wasn’t the reaction Taako had been expecting.

He was pretty damn sure Kravitz was fucking with him again.

“I didn’t think you guys were allowed to be all jokey. What, did the Queen use you as part time entertainment on top of guard duty?” he asked, because it really was weird. He didn’t know much about royalty, but he didn’t see what the… point was of giving their guard constructs personality.

“What part of this sounds like I’m joking? The palace is definitely haunted by real ghosts,” Kravitz said, and his tone was as blunt and serious as it always was. That didn’t make it sound any less like bullshit, and Taako was aware he’d been the one to open this can of worms but he was refusing to lie in it.

“Well if it’s not a joke it’s definitely a straight up lie,” he said, and Kravitz actually shrugged. Yeah, this whole thing was definitely weird and only seemed to be getting weirder the longer he spent with the construct. Still, the conversation seemed to have died some, and Taako couldn’t be surprised by that. It hadn’t been the juiciest piece of conversation meat to grab onto.

“I wasn’t entertainment,” Kravitz broke the silence after what had to be at least five or ten minutes by that point. He seemed to notice the questioning look Taako gave him quick enough, continuing. “Entertaining. It was not one of my duties under my Queen’s orders,” he elaborated.

“Oh, yeah no. For all your absolutely hilarious jokes, you don’t strike me as the court jester type,” Taako said, maybe being a little sarcastic when it came to Kravitz’s humor. It wasn’t actually bad after all. Certainly better than he expected from the guy.

“Not like you?” Kravitz asked, and Taako didn’t bother trying to hold back the offended look on his face at that.

 _“Excuse me?”_ he asked, and it was real fucking annoying that this guy’s face was a completely blank slate. He genuinely couldn’t tell if he was mocking him or what.

“Your show. You are a very skilled entertainer. You’re entertaining,” Kravitz explained, and oh, that wasn’t what Taako expected. It almost made him pause, but instead he started to make himself walk a little faster.

“Ah, well then yes when you put it like that,” he said, maybe preening a little bit at the compliment. Kravitz certainly wasn’t wrong after all, but still, it was nice to be appreciated. Plus, he guessed he couldn’t be that mad if it had come out wrong because he wasn’t exactly all that skilled at talking to people. He doubted Kravitz got a lot of practice before this.

“Also, your hat,” he added after a moment. Taako looked back at him in confusion at that, raising an eyebrow.

“What _about_ my hat?” he asked.

“Very brightly colored, sparkling. The charms make noise sometimes. Very much like a jester hat,” Kravitz explained, and Taako huffed loudly in offense.

“Fuck you! My hat is awesome!” Taako snapped, picking up the pace. Once again it seemed like Kravitz had no problem what so ever keeping up with him, which was incredibly frustrating.

“I believe you would call it… not my style?” he said, and Taako rolled his eyes at that. Forget any goodwill Kravitz might have built up complimenting his show. That was all gone now, lost in a big old black hole of dick. 

“You look like a funeral for birds, that’s your style,” Taako grumbled. He figured Kravitz would either ignore it or get mad. He really didn’t expect the laugh it got out of him. It was a small thing, barely even counted as more than a snort, but it still caught Taako’s attention. It seemed to have caught Kravitz’s as well, the construct once again stopping, and he somehow managed to look surprise without his face moving an inch. There was a moment that felt a lot longer than it actually was where they both stood there, Taako unsure if he should point it out, no idea what _Kravitz_ was thinking.

“How long until we reach our destination?” he asked finally, breaking the awkward silence and pushing past the whole thing like it hadn’t happened. Taako couldn’t blame him too much for that one.

“Should be there by tomorrow,” Taako said, and god that felt so far away right now.

“Oh,” Kravitz replied simply. It was a fair enough reaction.

——

Kravitz wasn’t sure if he’d ever laughed before.

It wasn’t something he’d noticed until it happened. It had come out easily enough, but then he realized he couldn't ever remember it happening before, then all of a sudden it was so odd and unexpected and he wasn’t sure how to handle it. So, he decided to ignore it. It was like Taako said, he hadn’t been in entertainment. His Queen had treated him well, had cared for him and made sure he was comfortable and happy, and he _was._ It was what he was meant to do, and he wanted- he _needed_ to get back to that job.

Getting to talk to someone more regularly though, it wasn’t the worst. There was a lot about what was going on that he could complain about, but he hadn’t been lying. Taako was certainly entertaining.

They did end up reaching the town Taako had been aiming for the next day. The rest of the trip had been exceptionally boring, just as every other night had been so far. Taako tried a few more times to talk to him again, although Kravitz did not have any idea why.

He didn’t end up laughing again. That was probably for the best.

Kravitz was somewhat pleased when they got to town and it seemed that Taako was immediately looking for the library. He apparently wanted to fix this almost as much as Kravitz did. He supposed he could not blame Taako for that, neither of them were happy in this situation. He definitely noticed the nervous looks Taako gave him whenever another person looked at them for too long. Or for any amount of time really, from what Kravitz could tell.

As they reached the library, he definitely noticed the nervous glances Taako kept shooting him. There was no point in pretending to be surprised when he spoke up before they went inside.

“So uh, you’re sure you can’t just, chill outside for a bit while cha’ boy does a bit of research?” he asked. It was unexpected, and he hoped his answer was equally unexpected for the elf.

“No,” he said simply, and Taako sighed.

“Yeah, figured as much. We’ll stay in the back I guess, you can hide in the bookcases or something,” Taako grumbled, not sounding particularly pleased by any of this. Kravitz understood that his safety and freedom were in danger, but it wasn’t like he was any happier about this. He would love to be able to leave and not have to deal with Taako anymore.

Heading into the library, it was nowhere near as sprawling and grand as the library at the palace. Kravitz had not spent much time in there, but even if he had he doubted he would have been able to make much of a dent in the mountains of books stored there. This library was certainly large, but he would describe it as rather modest in comparison.

Hopefully they’d be able to find _something_ here to fix this.

They definitely got a few looks as they walked, which were easy for Kravitz to ignore. People tended to either stare or specifically look away when he was doing his rounds, so it was something he was used to. He guess that was further evidence for Taako’s assessment that he was ‘creepy.’

Taako headed towards the back, making a beeline for a specific section. He seemed to know what he was doing, and Kravitz had been surprised by his competence once before. He had managed to get off such a powerful spell in the first place, it might be best to not underestimate the elf. Kravitz followed, and was relieved to find them in a section filled with arcane tomes. Taako was already scanning the selves, grabbing books every so often. It might have been at random for as much as Kravitz knew about arcane magic.

“Request for information on the subject of your current research,” Kravitz said, hoping that Taako would at least bother to fill him in on this process somewhat. There wasn’t much Kravitz felt that he could do to actually help, except for possibly gather supplies and look for more books on whatever topic Taako gave him. The elf didn’t pause in his search as he answered Kravitz’s request.

“I mean, I figured the best place to start would be to figure out what spell I even fucking cast on your shiny ass. Once we know the spell we can figure out what we need to do to _un_ do it, ya feel?” Taako said, and Kravitz nodded. That actually did sound sensible enough.

“How are you capable of casting a spell you do not have the knowledge of?” Kravitz asked. Taako had stopped piling up books in his own arms and had started handing some off to him to hold. He didn’t protest, if this would get him out of this bond faster he could carry a few books without complaint. Taako shrugged, seeming to do one last glance over the shelf in front of them before turning around to inspect the other rows of books.

“Hell if I know, magic can be finicky like that,” he said, and Kravitz slowly looked over the elf again. He had taken him for a wizard, he certainly looked like one. Kravitz didn’t know a lot about magic, it wasn’t something he ever needed to know a lot about. He could not use it, that was a fact. Still, he knew a few base things, and he was fairly certain that wizard magic didn’t work like that.

“Are you a sorcerer?” he asked, and Taako paused in his search at the question, actually seeming surprised by it. After a moment though he scoffed, rolling his eyes.

“Nah man, that’s not- I mean, fuck if I know shit about like, my _lineage,_ but I do know that cha’ boy is a full blooded wizard. Had to work for all this cool magic,” he said. It didn’t seem like he was lying, at least as far as Kravitz could tell. Taako finally seemed satisfied with the amount of books he’d grabbed and for the most part stacked into Kravitz’s arms. He followed as the elf went off, finding a table in an out of the way corner. Kravitz carefully put the stack of books in his arms down on it, and Taako did a quick look through before picking one.

With that he sat down and began researching. They were out of the way enough that Kravitz did not bother going to hide in between the bookshelves like Taako had recommended before. Instead he simply stood behind the elf in the corner, able to watch him and anyone who might try and approach them, as much as he could at least. The library did not make for a lot of clear sight lines. 

Kravitz did not expect Taako to be able to sit down and research for very long. He knew that was a thing wizards tended to do, it was the only way they could learn all that magic after all, but it just didn’t fit Taako. He didn’t seem to like to sit still much at all from what he’d seen so far. That was part of the reason he had started to consider the idea that Taako might actually be a sorcerer.

So he was rather surprised when one hour rolled by without any complaint from the elf. And then two hours. Taako had gone through a couple of the books he’d picked out by this point, but other than looking mildly frustrated at times seemed very intently focused.

Three hours passed, and Kravitz was starting to get… bored.

“Progress report?” he asked, and the question seemed to surprise Taako somewhat. He blinked quickly, before huffing and putting the book he was currently looking through away and grabbing another from the pile.

“Ain’t found shit for shit yet,” he said, which wasn’t encouraging. “What time is it?” Taako asked, and he was lucky Kravitz was so good at keeping time.

“Almost 1 in the afternoon,” he said, and Taako nodded a bit absently at that. It seemed that his attention was already drifting back to the new book he had opened in front of him.

“Alright, tell me when it’s two. We’ll break for lunch and see if we can find anywhere in this town to hole up for a bit while cha’ boy gets some proper research into solving this little problem of ours,” Taako said, and Kravitz nodded.

The next hour passed very slowly, from Kravitz’s perspective. He had thought it would be difficult for Taako to sit in one place for a long time, but he might be the one actually having trouble. His duty did not tend to involve standing in one place for very long, only when the Queen had meetings. Those were typically much more interesting than watching someone scowl at a book for four hours.

Finally another hour had passed, and when he told Taako the time he seemed thankful for the break. Kravitz wasn’t sure if the little ‘Lunch break- back in an hour’ note Taako left on his stack of books would actually prevent anyone from cleaning them up, but it was more forethought than he had put into leaving.

They sat outside while Taako ate, or well, Taako sat on a small stone wall. Kravitz stood next to him, absently keeping a look out around them. He was thankful for the change of scenery, even if there wasn't much for him to do still. Taako started talking between mouthfuls of food, and Kravitz didn’t know a lot about eating. He was fairly sure that was considered rude though.

“So, I was figuring we spend a couple days here, figure out what we can before moving on,” he said.

“Reasonable enough,” Kravitz said. He was thankful Taako actually seemed to be taking this seriously. “Any progress as of yet?” he asked, not bothering to care if he sounded the slightest bit impatient. Taako knew he didn’t want to be here and he knew Taako didn’t want him here. If nothing else, they were both in agreement on that.

“I think I’ve found a couple of spells that might be close? Not sure yet, I don’t really know what you… are,” he said, and Kravitz tilted his head at that. Taako quickly noticed the look, moving to gesture at him a bit wildly, still holding half a sandwich in his hand. “Like, you’re a magic guard construct thing, I get that, but fuck if I have any idea how you _work._ Magic’s clearly powerful as fuck to give you a personality and like, sentience.”

That made sense, Kravitz supposed most people would not have any idea how he worked. Even most wizards wouldn’t if he had to guess, the Queen had a right to be protective over such powerful magic. If he was honest, Kravitz didn’t have too much of an idea of how he functioned or what processes brought him into existence.

“I was created personally by my Queen, using her own power. This is my core, how I control this construct and what makes up… _me_ , is in here,” he said, figuring it would be optimal to explain what he could. Taako moved a bit closer to get a better look at what he was pointing at. The large crystal sphere in his abdomen certainly stood out, glowing a steady light blue. Taako raised his hand up, looking a hair away from reaching forward and poking it before stopping himself.

“Did she seriously give you a big glowing weak point? That doesn’t seem like the uuuh, best move,” Taako said, moving back some to finish eating his lunch.

“My core is sturdier than it appears. In the event that my form is ever too badly damaged my core is easily accessible for removable to be placed into a new construct,” he explained, mostly wanting to defend his Queen’s decisions. Taako seemed to think it over for a moment before shrugging.

“Fair enough I guess,” he said. With that Taako finished the rest of his lunch, afterwards very quickly finding a place for them to stay for the night. Kravitz didn’t have much of a frame of reference, but he was fairly sure the places Taako was picking weren’t exactly the best. Still, as soon as that was done they headed back to the library, and Kravitz was surprised that their stack of books was still in place.

Taking up his spot behind the elf, Kravitz set in for another few very boring hours of standing watch. It was a little frustrating, but this was what they needed to do. It was a little strange, he’s certainly never got this bored when guarding the palace. Of course, he had a schedule there, duties he needed to attend to. It wasn’t just standing in one spot watching for threats he was fairly sure weren’t going to come.

Taako had probably been working for another hour when Kravitz let his sight travel to the bookcase he was standing in front of. They weren’t in the arcane section anymore. From a cursory glance at the books behind them they were in… hmm, some sort of fiction.

Glancing back over at Taako, the elf looked fully engulfed in his work. There weren’t any threats coming in a library, and if their were the area was sectioned off so that they would have to come through one of the small areas between bookcases to access them. Even without his full attention, Kravitz was fully confident in his ability to protect Taako in this area.

And he was so goddamn bored.

Scanning the books behind him, he grabbed one with a mildly interesting title. The True Heart’s Song. Kravitz enjoyed music, so that was good enough for him right now. It became pretty clear rather soon after he started reading that this was some sort of romantic fiction novel. Well, he still didn’t have anything better to do.

It did not turn out to be very good, but it was something to do. Something to focus on instead of staring blandly ahead. He was almost finished with the book when Taako finally spoke up again, and it took Kravitz a moment to realize that two more hours had passed.

“Okay, I’ve got it narrowed down to a couple, but my back hurts like _shit_ so how about we call it a- what are you reading?” he said, having clearly noticed the book Kravitz was still holding. It was hard to tell if Taako was annoyed at him reading on the job, but Kravitz had never agreed to this job to begin with. It didn’t seem like that was the case though, from what he could gather he was simply surprised.

“A book,” he said, and it was unsurprising that Taako rolled his eyes at that response. Before he could keep attempting to press him on it Kravitz continued. “I believe it is what you would call a romance novel,” he clarified, and Taako snorted at that.

“Oh yeah? Didn’t uh, didn’t realize that was your jam,” he said, standing up and stretching his arms up over his head. Kravitz knew that living people did not do very well with sitting or standing in the same position for too long, he was surprised Taako had dedicated himself to this task for such a large portion of the day. The elf starting gathering up a few of the books he had out as he kept speaking. “But yeah, figured we can head back here tomorrow and hopefully finish narrowing down what it is. The main problem is that most of these spells have a time limit, so like, they should have just worn off on their own by now,” he explained.

“I’ve heard of spells that are capable of binding creatures to service for up to a month,” Kravitz said, and he really hoped that wasn’t the case here.

“Yeah well hopefully we won’t have to wait that long,” Taako said, pretty much echoing his own thoughts. It looked like the elf was close to being ready to leave, and Kravitz found himself looking back at the book case. It looked like there were two more books connected to the one he’d been reading, a series of sorts. Without giving it much thought he grabbed them, holding them out for the elf to take.

“Formal request that you check these out for me,” he said, figuring it might help to at least try to be polite. There was a very amused look on Taako’s face as he took the books.

“I would _not_ have pegged you as a romance guy,” he said, and Kravitz was tempted to ignore the comment all together.

“It is rather boring when you sleep,” he said instead. Taako nodded, seeming to accept that explanation readily enough, which was fortunate since it was the truth. Kravitz supposed the romance was not terrible though, if rather unrealistic from what little he could tell.

With that though Taako checked out the books and they headed back to the inn. Kravitz knew the elf would have to go out to grab dinner later, but for now it seemed like he was just intent on resting.

Hopefully they could figure out exactly what spell it was soon. As strange and somewhat interesting as everything out here was, he’d still much rather go home.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> so since the last update I have managed to write out an outline for the rest of the fic and have a rough estimate of the number of chapters and all that jazz. All i'm gonna really say on that is that I'm real excited for some of the places his fic is gonna go. Since camp nano is starting soon, combined with all the extra free time, I'm hoping to get a pretty big backlog and finish up a couple of my other fics, to clear up room for more consistent updates. We'll see how it goes. 
> 
> As always, thanks for reading and I hope you enjoyed!


	5. Reasons To Worry

They ended up staying in that town for four days before Taako decided they needed to leave. Kravitz could not tell if they had exhausted all possible information that the library had to offer, but he had certainly exhausted any interesting series in the section around their table.

It did seem that the trip was not entirely useless, as Taako had motioned for him to join him on their third day at the library. Kravitz did not sit down, but he did come stand behind the elf to better observe what was in the books in front of him. It seemed to irritate Taako the slightest bit, but he hadn’t commented on it.

“Okay, I think I might actually got the spell I use down. Or at least the bastardized version I managed to throw out,” he said, pointing down at the tome in front of him. Leaning down some, Kravitz made a divisive hum as he read the spell. Planar binding.

“That seemed improbable,” he said, but Taako shook his head. His hat jingled when he did that, and now Kravitz couldn’t help thinking of jesters whenever it did.

“No, no listen. First of all, it’s one of the only spells I can find that would actually _work_ on you, since you’re a construct. Second, it fits how you’re acting. You gotta follow the letter of my command, which I _think_ I was thinking something along the lines of ‘oh god don’t let me die’ when I cast that. But you only gotta follow that specific command, there’s none of the other charm effects like making you think you’re my friend or anything like that,” he explained, and Kravitz supposed that the actual effects of the spell did fit. He still had his mind about him, he certainly felt no good will towards the elf. At least, none that hadn’t been begrudgingly earned so far.

There was still a glaring problem with this theory.

“Planar binding is an incredibly high level and expensive spell. It requires a gen worth at least 1000 gold pieces and typically can take up to an hour to cast. You had used no material components and the spell had acted instantly,” he said, feeling that these were simple facts. He was surprised that even Taako had overlooked them. The elf nodded, chewing on his lip some as he thought that over.

“Right, which is where I get to the bastardized version part. I don’t _know_ this spell. I can cast a level three spell on a _good day,_ like fuck am I at level five,” he said, which was doing nothing to support Taako’s hypothesis in Kravitz’s opinion. “But there isn’t a level three spell that could _do_ something like this. There isn’t even a level four, I checked,” he added.

“Then _how_ did it get cast?” Kravitz asked, maybe sounding a little frustrated, but he felt that he had a right to be. He was even more frustrated when Taako simply shrugged.

“Fuck if I know, but chances are if I did manage to cobble together some sort of weird frankenstein version of this spell, its probably not as good. It’s supposed to last a month, and it’s been what, four days now?” Taako asked.

“Five,” Kravitz corrected, and the elf nodded.

“Right, so it’s been five days and the original spell lasts a month. I’d say I got real fucking _lucky_ if I manage to even match half the duration it’s supposed to go. We’re probably looking at something that will go away on its own in another week tops,” he finished, closing the book in front of him with a satisfied thump.

It made as much sense as anything. When Taako laid it out like that at the very least it sounded like the most logical explanation. Kravitz still was not sure how someone could manage to create an approximation of a spell on the fly that was so much stronger than they were typically able to cast, but he did not deal with magic. It was the best guess they had and he should be relieved for some answers and an approximation of how much longer he would be bound to service.

But something still sat wrong with all of this.

“And if it doesn’t?” he asked. Taako turned back to look at him, his head tilted to the side in confusion. “And if the protective charm does not dispel on its own?” he clarified. In response, Taako waved a dismissive hand at him, standing up and starting to stack the piles of books back up.

“I don’t think we’ve got anything to worry about,” he said, flashing Kravitz a confident grin.

That had been two weeks ago.

Needless to say, Kravitz felt he had reason to worry.

“Okay, okay just remember, this is just a test. I’ve got like no constitution so even if you don’t _gotta_ it won’t hurt to pull the punch a little. Just like a light, surface smack,” Taako was rambling, obviously nervous. There was no reason to be, although he’d clearly not realized that one yet.

“Taako. I do not think this is a good idea,” Kravitz said, exasperation heavy in his voice. The elf shook his head though, holding up his fists in a very poor attempt at a fighting stance.

“No, no see we just gotta _test_ it. How the fuck are we gonna know if you’re not under the spell anymore unless you do something counter to the spell? Now come on big guy, I can take it,” he said. Kravitz had seen Taako rolling his eyes a lot since he had started traveling with him. Kravitz felt like it was a very useful expression, one he found himself longing for.

“If I could offer an alternate suggestion,” he said. Taako frowned, a skeptical look on his face before nodding. “I could just attempt to leave, sire,” he said, gesturing away from the camp they had set up. The look of realization and relief on Taako’s face was almost funny enough to make Kravitz laugh.

He tried not to laugh much. It was still unnerving to him in a way that was hard to put into words.

“Oh. Oh right! Yeah shit okay, that’s a way better idea than you punching me in the face,” Taako said, going to sit back down by the fire. “Well uh, go on then? You’re never gonna know until you try,” he said, looking back over at Kravitz who was still standing at the edge of the camp.

“Yes, of course,” he said. If this worked then Kravitz was fairly sure that the polite thing to do would be to say goodbye before leaving. It did not seem that Taako had any intention of doing such a thing though, and so Kravitz had no obligation to either. Turning around, Kravitz started to walk away. He did not know what direction it was to the palace, but he could figure that out once he got back to a town.

He got three steps before he found himself turned back around, walking back to keep Taako in his view.

Damn it.

“It did not work,” he said, going to stand right up by the fire where Taako was sitting. He usually tried to keep his distance, but he was getting _very_ frustrated.

“Yeah, I can see that,” the elf said, sounding so dismissive. He always sounded so dismissive, and it was truly starting to grate on Kravitz. He had been trying to be patient. Taako had told him another week at most, and when that deadline passed he tried to tell himself to keep waiting. This was clearly not an exact science, it would be over soon.

He was really starting to doubt that though.

“Is this some sort of trick?” he asked, and a look of confusion fell over Taako’s face at the question. The elf was smarter than Kravitz had initially given him credit for.

Maybe he was still underestimating him.

“What are you talking about?” Taako asked, and Kravitz knew he was intimidating. He was sure that the way he was standing over the elf wasn’t pleasant for him, but he didn’t back off. He needed to know if he was being lied to this whole time.

“Do you intend to help me remove the charm or is this a lie to keep me compliant?” he asked. Taako raised his eyebrows at that, looking surprised by the suggestion. Kravitz supposed it looked like genuine surprise, but he would not be the best at noting those things.

“What? Of course I’m trying to remove the stupid spell! Believe me buddy I don’t want you around anymore than you want to be here, alright?” Taako insisted, and it was a little hard to believe that. Kravitz had no idea how all of this could just be some sort of mistake.

“Then what do we do if it does not go away on its own?” he asked, speaking slowly and putting as much weight as he could into the question. Taako kept insisting this problem would leave without any effort from either of them, and Kravitz was having a harder and harder time believing that. From the brief flash of panic across Taako’s face he was starting to consider that as a real possibility as well.

“Then we just keep looking for a way to remove the spell, okay? Look, there’s a library in Armos. We’ll get there tomorrow and see if we can’t do a little more research,” Taako said, and reluctantly Kravitz nodded, taking a few steps back. Taako seemed to relax some at that, leaning forward and using a long stick to poke at the logs in the fire.

“I’m trying to figure this out too, alright? We gotta work together on this my dude,” he said, and Kravitz supposed that was true. If Taako had been honest with everything he’d told him then it definitely was.

“I… apologize if I come off as harsh. I have duties I need to return to, and am not used to such a long absence,” Kravitz said, trying his best to be diplomatic about this. Taako shrugged, not looking particularly bothered.

“Eh, can’t exactly blame you for getting impatient. I kinda figured this whole thing would be over with by now too,” he said, and Kravitz supposed there was at least an attempt at understanding there.

“I know there are strong dispels that can remove most charms and magical enhancements,” he offered after a short moment of quiet. He wasn’t a magic user, he couldn’t use magic by his very nature, so he’d been leaving this mostly up to Taako. Still, that was something he knew, so he figured they elf would have already considered it. So far though he hadn’t mentioned anything of the sort though. The look Taako gave him at the suggestion wasn’t a very enthused one either.

“Yeaaah, I thought about that. The problem is like, I don’t know if that would like, fuck _you_ up too? Like, your whole thing is magic, not sure what a strong enough dispel would do for like, your base functions,” he said, and Kravitz paused at that.

The reasonable response would be to not worry about it. If it resulted in lifting the charm his queen could restart his core back to a base function if need be. Of course, there would be the issue of getting his construct back if he became totally inoperable, but that would be a mild inconvenience at most.

It would have been reasonable, but Kravitz knew he was not entirely reasonable. He wasn’t created to be entirely reasonable, and so the thought of being wiped completely scared him. He liked being himself, and he had no intention of stopping if he could help it.

“Perhaps it would be best to leave that as a last resort then,” he said after a long moment, Taako nodding in agreement.

“Well, I’m gonna grab some shut eye. Wake me in the morning?” he said, knocking the fire some so that it was mostly embers. Kravitz nodded, watching as Taako settled himself for sleep.

Once it seemed he was no longer awake, Kravitz went and grabbed one of the books he had taken from the library several towns back. He was aware it wasn’t the best thing, and the chances of him being able to return it were very slim, but it was boring at night.

Flipping back to the front of the book, Kravitz hoped the hours passed by fast. The sooner they could get to the next town the sooner they could hopefully figure out a way to be done with all of this.

Or maybe in the morning the charm would be gone and Kravitz would be able to leave of his own volition. That would certainly be nice.

——

Taako couldn’t blame Kravitz for getting impatient. He’d been sure when he found that spell that must have been the thing. It matched about as close as any spell he could find, it was the _closest_ to the level he could cast at (even if it was still way fucking above his skill level) and nothing else seemed to fit.

He figured that there was no way his fucked up version of the spell could last as long as the real deal.

And yet they’d been at this for three weeks, and according to Kravitz it sure didn’t feel like the spell was waning any. Honestly, it was just another thing that didn’t make a lick of sense in Taako’s life. Color him surprised that things weren’t working out his way.

As they got into Armos Taako was _trying_ to be optimistic though. It wasn’t really his modus of operandi, but Kravitz sure as fuck wasn’t going to pick up the slack on his end.

“I mean look at it this way, we’ve got a week more of this at most. Like, I’ll do some research for sure, but at this point it might be best to just wait it out,” he said, and it was dusk as they walked. Taako had been trying to plan it so that they arrived places either early or late in the day, that way there would be less people around to stare at them. There’d been a few close calls, where Taako was sure the only reason someone didn’t try and start shit was because Kravitz was terrifying looking. He couldn’t count on people always being that cautious though.

When he looked up at the construct now, he did not look particularly happy or reassured by that fact. Not that he ever looked particularly happy or reassured.

“Some research into these matters would still be… appreciated,” he said, and Taako nodded quickly.

“Yeah for sure. Let’s find somewhere to sleep first and then we’ll go hit the libr-” Taako started, his words failing him as he turned into the main road leading into Armos.

The sun had already started to set, but his darkvision came in handy here. He could still see with decent clarity the buildings in the distance. Or well, what was left of them. What Taako could make out were charred and black, most of the ones further into town nothing but bare bones. Some of the ones on the outer edges were still standing, but still showed signs of fire damage.

“-ko? Taako? Request for some sign of acknowledgment, Taako?” Kravitz’s persistent voice knocked him out of his staring. He felt himself almost jolt, blinking rapidly and frowning as he actually started to _process_ what he was seeing.

“What the fuck happened here?” he asked, starting to walk forward again. Kravitz followed along after him, and as they moved Taako gave a close look at every building they passed. The ones this far out weren’t too bad off, some of them seemed to have escaped whatever fire had gone through here entirely.

But they were all completely abandoned.

“It seems there was a rather severe fire,” Kravitz said, ever so helpful. Taako rolled his eyes, and they were getting in pretty deep now. The mostly intact houses were being replaced by the shabby remains of burnt support beams still somehow holding themselves up. Taako poked one, his finger coming back black with ash.

“Yeah no, I can see that,” he said, finding himself standing back at a loss. “I don’t think there’s going to be a library here,” he added, and it was almost as stupid of a thing to comment on as the fact that a fire had been here.

“Did you do any research on this town before you selected it as our destination?” Kravitz asked, some obvious frustration in his voice. Which was fair, this was _bullshit._

“No, I just… the name sounded familiar. I could have sworn I’d been here before, and it wasn’t burned to the ground,” he said. It wasn’t a very good explanation. It was actually a real fucking flimsy one, but it was the truth. Nothing like this had ever happened before.

“Perhaps some research next time would be… advisable,” Kravitz said, and Taako couldn’t help but flinch when the small wooden _something_ he poked immediately crumbled under his touch.

“Yeah, yeah that might be a good idea,” Taako grumbled, moving away from any of the charred remains. They were heading in so deep now that there was barely anything left still standing, and he honestly wasn’t a fan. “Anyway, it’s too late to head off to another town now,” he said. Turning around, he started back towards the front of town. Kravitz followed along after him, and it was hard to tell how bothered he was by all of this. If he was even bothered by the fire at all and not the fact that he had to wait longer to find a way to free him.

Once they were back near the mostly intact houses Taako picked one that looked to still be in pretty good shape.

“What are you doing?” Kravitz asked, standing by and watching as Taako struggled to pry a door open.

“No need to sleep outside where there’s a perfectly good house empty and free of charge right here my man. Now help me open this door,” Taako said. He figured Kravitz probably wasn’t super on board with breaking and entering, or breaking any laws. Taako highly doubted whoever owned this place gave a crap about it anymore, it was obvious as fuck that the whole town was abandoned.

He was a little surprised when after another minute or so of trying fruitlessly to work the door open, Kravitz actually came up behind him. Taako took a large step away, a little dramatic as he bowed and gestured towards the doorknob. It was hard to tell if Kravitz even noticed, he certainly didn’t acknowledge the movement. Walking right past him he broke the doorknob clean off with what looked like almost no effort.

Giving the door a small nudge, it opened easily enough now.

“That works,” Taako head, heading inside. It didn’t look like this house was hit by the fire any, although the inside was almost entirely cleared out. Taako didn’t chance going upstairs, he didn’t know how long ago the house was abandoned and even if it hadn’t been in the fire that didn’t mean it was very structurally sound. With Kravitz following him around everywhere that didn’t seem like the best risk to take.

Starting to set up a place to rest in what probably used to be the living room, Taako tried to get his thoughts in order.

“Okay, new plan. We stay here for the night, figure out the next closest town and start towards there in the morning. Should probably still have enough supplies to make the trip, I’ll have to look at the map,” he said, and that was one thing that was almost nice about having Kravitz around. He felt less like an idiot talking out loud, since there was actually someone around to respond now.

“That seems… reasonable,” Kravitz said, which at this point Taako had basically figured out was his way of saying ‘well it’s not like I have a better idea.’

“You worked in the palace right?” Taako asked, not looking up at the construct as he started taking inventory of his supplies. Yeah, they were stretching it having to go to another town now. If he had to transmute his own food he could, but he liked to save the spellslots while he was on the road.

Well, he guessed that wasn’t entirely necessary anymore. Kravitz was certainly some decent security, even if neither of them had asked for this.

“Yes,” he said, and Taako had gotten used to the one word responses a while ago. Sometimes he was a bit more talkative, but this seemed to be his standard.

“Was there ever- so, you hadn’t heard about this either? A whole fucking town going up in flames? Seems like the kind of news that would make its way to the palace pretty dang quick,” he asked. It just bothered him. The name had sounded so familiar.

He knew he was supposed to be focusing on fixing Kravitz, and he was. It was definitely the most important short term goal, but Taako was still pretty damn sure the whole thing would go away on its own anyway. Probably faster than he’d be able to dispel it at any rate.

So when he’d seen Armos on the map, the name jumping out at him with a pang of recognition he couldn’t place, he thought it wouldn't hurt to make a little detour. That they would probably have a library or a magic shop or even a fucking temple that they could stop by to do a bit of research, and maybe there would be something else there.

Maybe Lup would be…

But nope, all there was to find was a shitty pile of ashes and no life anywhere.

“I was security. I did not receive many updates on the going ons throughout the country, although I am sure this is something my Queen was made aware of swiftly,” he said. Taako supposed it made sense, but it wasn’t particularly helpful. He managed to resist commenting on that, instead pulling out his map to find the next closest town. Some place called Bellmare. He’d never heard of it.

“We’ll head up to Bellmare in the morning. Should take us about a day to get there,” he said, shoving the map away again and instead pulling out his blanket. It wasn’t that late but somehow coming here and seeing it had all been for fucking nothing really put a drain on all his energy. “Wake me when the sun’s up,” he said, starting to lay down.

“Do you not require food?” Kravitz asked, and Taako paused at that. It was still pretty rare for him to be the one initiating any kind of conversation, and that certainly wasn’t a question he’d been expecting.

“Huh?” he asked simply, mostly because he wondered where Kravitz was going with this.

“You typically eat a final meal after we make camp but before going to sleep. Do you not require that food today as well?” he pressed, and Taako guessed it made sense that the dude had made a note of his schedule. Even if Kravitz couldn’t eat, it wasn’t like he had much else to do but watch when Taako did.

“I’m not hungry. I’ll eat in the morning,” he said. Kravitz didn’t make any sort of objection to that.

It took longer than Taako liked for him to finally fall asleep.

When he woke up it was to a hard, cold hand shaking his shoulder roughly.

“-wake. Taako, status report on current dangers. Taako?” Kravitz said, the words barely processing in his head. As soon as they did Taako pulled away, scrambling to his feet and grabbing his wand. His heart felt like it was going a million miles a minute, his throat felt raw and-

“What danger? What’s going on?” he asked, turning towards Kravitz. It looked like it was still dark outside, the only light coming from his glowing core. He wasn’t sure how Kravitz managed to look so confused with just a simple tilt of his head, but he had it down pact.

“Despite the fact that you still appeared to be sleeping you began to shift rather violently and call out for something. I thought it best to wake you,” Kravitz said. Any of the hazy fight that had been in his body left at that, Taako’s shoulders immediately slumping. He dropped his hand holding his wand out, quickly moving to lay back down.

“Oh, was that all? Thanks I guess,” he said, rubbing at his eyes and fuck, how did he already have a headache. It looked like he still had a few more hours to sleep, hopefully it would be gone when he woke up again.

“What… what was that Taako?” Kravitz asked a moment. Taako paused, turning back towards him in confusion before it clicked. Right, of course Kravitz wouldn’t have any idea what that was.

“It was just a nightmare. Uh, basically when people sleep we have dreams sometimes. They’re like giant hallucinations and can basically be of anything, but are usually boring and like, at most a little weird. Like dreaming of going to the store but instead you end up in a library cooking soup or some shit,” he said. Kravitz looked extremely confused, and yeah, that made sense. “Sometimes they can turn from harmless to like, actively fucking terrifying? Those are nightmares. Not a big deal, everyone gets them sometimes,” Taako finished explaining.

“That sounds unpleasant,” Kravitz said, and from the tone of voice he had ‘unpleasant’ was the nicest way he could describe it. Taako snorted at that, nodding in agreement as he laid back down.

“Yeah no, not exactly great, can’t say I’m a fan of them,” he said.

“Would you like me to… wake you again? If you have another one of these nightmares?” Kravitz asked, and the question kind of surprised Taako. He figured Kravitz would just leave it now that he knew they weren’t dangerous or anything.

“Yeah. I’d appreciate that man,” he said.

Kravitz didn’t respond, but at least this time it didn’t take too long for Taako to fall asleep.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> still chugging along for camp nano, thought I'd throw another chapter of this fic up since I've got a bit of a backlog for it now. I
> 
> As always, thanks for reading and i hope you enjoyed!


	6. Mostly Realistic Disguise

Taako told him the spell he must have used would only be active for a month. Or not even the spell he used, the spell he had somehow managed to copy, so it should not even be as powerful. It was highly unlikely that the spell would last the full duration to begin with, and it certainly shouldn’t last any longer.

So Kravitz waited. Taako was willing to listen to his plea to keep researching the topic. When they went to Armos and the town was nothing but ash, he quickly had them move onto the next one, and there he studied. Continued to look into the magic he might have used, to double check that there wasn’t some other way to get the spell off sooner.

He wasn’t able to find anything, and then another week had passed. It had been a month since Kravitz had been hit by that spell. This should be done with.

They were sitting in the small room Taako had rented them, or well Taako was sitting. Kravitz was standing by the door, as he typically did.

“So, feel anything different? Any uh, changes over the night?” Taako asked. According to both of their recall, the spell should have worn off sometime around 11pm last night. They had waited until the morning. Taako insisted he was tired, and Kravitz supposed that even if the spell had worn off he’d been gone for a month now. A few more hours in order to have some reassurance would not be the end of the world.

“No,” he answered plainly, and the way Taako’s hopeful face immediately fell was a bit funny. Nowhere near enough to make Kravitz laugh right now, but a small flash of amusement none the less. If this was the last day Kravitz would see him, it would not be the worst memory to fall back on.

“Well, alright, cool down on the enthusiasm my dude you’re gonna alert the neighbors,” Taako grumbled, his sarcasm obvious. Kravitz didn’t say anything, and Taako did not wait long before continuing. “Still though, even if you didn’t feel anything the spell _should_ be gone now. So uh, sorry about all this. Hope you have a good time back guarding your castle,” he said. It was a bit difficult to tell, but Kravitz was fairly sure he was being sincere.

“Yes, thank you,” he said, turning to leave. He did not need to say any more than that, he did not even need to thank Taako honestly. He was the source of all of this after all, but it was clear that the wizard had at least done his best to reverse his mistake. At this point Kravitz had accepted that despite everything this had all been an honest mistake.

“I hope you are able to find Lup,” he added after a moment, and Kravitz did not bother looking back to see what Taako’s reaction to that would be. He had only mentioned this person once, when Kravitz had first asked him about his cooking show. He had also called out for her when he had his nightmare, which still seemed like a wholly unpleasant experience to Kravitz.

“Oh. Thanks,” Taako said, surprise in his voice. Kravitz didn’t say anything else, opening the door, walking out of it, and closing it behind him.

He got a step away before he was turning on his heels and walking right back into the room. Taako’s face fell immediately, and he threw himself back onto the bed.

“Noooo! Are you _serious?!”_ he shouted, and Kravitz really did not see how _he_ was the one who needed to complain in this situation. He shut the door behind him, crossing his arms and absolutely furious.

“The protective charm you cast upon me is still in effect,” he said, and even though his words were neutral he hoped Taako could understand the sheer frustration leaking through his voice. The elf sat up, and at least he had the decency to also appear to be entirely over with all of this.

“I don’t fucking get it! What the hell are we doing wrong?” he asked, and Kravitz didn’t have an answer for him. He did not expect the suddenly suspicious look Taako shot at him as if he had just thought of something. “Are you _sure_ it’s not gone? How the hell do I know you’re not following me around because you don’t want to go back to being a guard,” he asked, and Kravitz had thought he was angry _before._

“What I don't want is to be wasting my time here. I _want_ to go back to my sacred duty of guarding Her Imperial Highness the Queen. What I want is to go _home,”_ he snapped, and the suspicion that had been on Taako’s face before quickly fell. He actually managed to look somewhat remorseful for his words.

“Right, right shit, sorry. I just don’t have any fucking idea why that spell would still be going,” he apologized, and some of the rage that had been inside of Kravitz died down some at the apology. They were both just frustrated. They both had wanted this to be done with a long time ago.

“But it is,” he said simply, and the heavy sigh Taako let out at that was something Kravitz could relate to.

“Yeah, it sure fucking is,” he said. It was quiet for a moment, and then Taako pushed himself up off of the bed, starting to gather up the belongings he had around the room and throw them back into his bags. “Well, looks like we can’t just count on waiting around anymore. Gonna have to be a bit more proactive in all of this,” he said, and Kravitz took one of the heavier bags from the elf. It helped to be able to travel faster if Taako wasn’t constantly getting bogged down by the weight of his supplies.

“That is what I wished from the start,” he said, and Taako shrugged.

“I mean same, but I figured we at least had that safety net. Apparently though cha’ boy is just too damn good at magic,” he said, and Kravitz really did wish he had eyes to roll. He hoped the way he simply stared down at Taako conveyed the feeling enough. “Either way, we gotta figure this shit out on our own now,” Taako finished. Kravitz supposed he was right.

And well, it wasn’t like he had any choice but to follow after him anyway.

For what it was worth, Taako did seem intent to try and find a way to fix this. They had already exhausted the very small library in the town they were currently staying in, so before leaving they looked over the map. The next biggest down was Greenhill, so that’s where they were heading. Taako had spent much of the two days it took to get there reading through spellbooks they’d taken that seemed particularly useful. Kravitz supposed he should be opposed to the casual thievery of books.

He figured he could be concerned with it once he was back on duty. Until then it was what they needed to do to fix this, and that was the most important thing.

When they did get to the town, Kravitz spent much of the time in the library reading. He had attempted after their first few attempts to read some of the spellbooks Taako had gathered. Kravitz supposed that even if he could not preform magic himself, he might still be able to offer some helpful insight.

That thought was quickly dashed. Wizard magic, especially at the levels of spell that Taako was researching, made no sense to him. After that failed attempt Kravitz stuck to keeping himself busy by reading some of the fiction books that were around. Despite trying a few different genres now he did find the romantic fiction books still the easiest to digest, simple people with often somewhat exceedingly simple motivations and a story that was just engaging enough to keep his attention. He’d even managed to find some that were written rather excellently.

His other favorite was anything about music or bards. He did not read those quite as much though, there weren’t as many readily available. For some reason he wasn’t sure if he wanted Taako to see him reading those as much either, although he couldn’t quite put words to why that was. It felt private. Taako had many things he kept from him, and Kravitz did not tell him more than he needed to as well. He wanted to keep this one thing to himself as well.

It had been about another week. They were still in Greenhill, although Taako had been talking about moving on again. Kravitz couldn’t blame him, there did not seem to be much left to discover here either. Taako had brought a rather large spellbook back to their inn from the library, although Kravitz was not letting himself get hopeful. Taako had stayed up later than he typically did reading through that book though, and he returned to it early the next morning.

“Okay,” he said, and Kravitz was not sure what he had been working on, but it seemed like he reached some sort of conclusion. “So, I might have started a little bit of a side project, but I swear it’ll be worth it,” he added, and Kravitz cocked his head at that.

“Will this assist with finding a way to dispel the protective charm?” he asked, and Taako nodded. It was easy to see the way he paused though, like he suddenly wasn’t as sure.

“Yeah, well I mean, it’ll make it easier to move around. Make our whole scene is a lot less suspicious looking, which should make it easier to find information,” he said, and Kravitz thought that over for a moment. He knew that Taako was incredibly concerned about getting caught for stealing one of the Queen’s guards, and he had ample reason to be. It did make things difficult at times. Taako refused to go to any city that he deemed too big or too heavy with any sort of royal or authority presence. Something that would ease up that concern would help to broaden the areas they could search for answers.

“Your plan?” he asked, and Taako seemed to perk up at the unspoken permission. He pulled out his own spell book, and Kravitz assumed he’d been copying a spell down into it, although he had no way to know what the page Taako was showing him actually did.

“Okay so, you stick out like a giant glowing metal thumb, we’ve been over this. So, I already knew disguise self, that shit’s a piece of cake, but I can’t exactly cast that on another person, ya know?" Taako started. Kravitz wasn't sure where this was going, but he nodded none the less. "So what I did was I found the spell Seeming, now that shit’s too high for me to get much of a handle on yet. Still, I kinda picked it apart for what I needed, which was just casting it on another person, and a longer duration. I think I got it,” he explained. Kravitz didn’t say anything for a long moment the pieces clicking in his head. The excited expression slowly faded from the elf’s face as he continued to stare. “What?”

“I am sure you can understand my… hesitance, at you casting another spell on me,” he said, and he didn’t think Taako had any right to look that offended.

“This is just illusion, okay? I’m not gonna actually change anything about you, and I had time to think this thought. I actually know what I’m doing here, alright?” he said, and maybe Kravitz shouldn’t feel so skeptical. Taako was clearly more competent than Kravitz often gave him credit for, but still.

“It sounds as if you have attempted to create your own spell by heavily modifying two other existing spells. That would require an immense level of skill, wouldn’t it?” he asked, and Taako huffed.

“I mean, I guess a little? Just trust me on this,” he said. Kravitz was not sure he wanted to trust him on this.

But a part of him was genuinely curious to see if it would actually work. And if it would help them find a way to fix all of this sooner, illusion magic did seem to be the least risky one to mess around with.

“I suppose it would be worth a test,” he said, and Taako immediately lit up at that.

“Hell yeah! You got any requests?” Taako asked, and Kravitz cocked his head at that, so the wizard continued. “Like, what do you want to look like? Not gonna lie, feels a little weird deciding for you. Uh, there’s some limitations, probably best to pick something similar size to you, so like, gonna have to nix halflings and gnomes big guy,” he explained.

“Oh,” Kravitz said, and he had not thought that far ahead when he agreed to this. He stood there for a moment, thinking the question over seriously. There was a part of him that was genuinely concerned that if Taako put this illusion on him he would not be able to figure out a way to take it off. So he wanted something he would be at least somewhat comfortable with in that regard.

“Half elf,” he said after a moment. “Dark skin, hair- can I draw it?” he asked, and Taako seemed taken quite off guard by the question. It wasn’t for any longer than a few seconds though, and then he laughed as he nodded. Grabbing the pen he had been using to transcribe the spell, he pulled a piece of paper out of his spellbook and handed them over to him.

Kravitz had never drawn before, and his hands were not made with quite so fine detail work in mind. As a result the drawing was shaky, and Kravitz was not sure how well it got his ideas across when he handed it over to Taako. He couldn’t even be that offended when the elf burst out laughing when he saw it. He nodded though, seeming pleased if nothing else.

“Yeah alright, I think I can work with this,” he said, and somehow Kravitz felt even more nervous than he did before. Perhaps he just did not trust Taako to sound that delighted. Before he could second guess this though the wizard was pointing his wand at him. “If all goes well, this should last about eight hours,” he said, and then he cast.

Kravitz did not feel anything immediately different, but he shouldn’t with an illusion. When he looked down at himself though the change was rather immediately obvious. For one thing he was no long wearing just the long black feathered cloak, although that was still in place. He had on a rather plain but formal black suit, with shiny black shoes and a red tie.

For another thing, his hands looked like they were covered in skin and flesh.

There was a mirror in the room they were staying in, and without saying a word he walked over to it. The face he was looking at actually blinked back at him, and Taako had kept the same color as the blue sapphires for his eyes.

He looked like a half-elf. Pointed ears smaller than Taako’s, sharp elven features rounded out with the mix of human. His skin was dark as he’d requested, and Taako seemed to understand what he’d been trying to illustrate with his hair. It was long, styled into locks and pulled back into a half-bun, decorated sparsely with small golden charms. He cocked his head to the side, tested raising his eyebrows, and when he opened his mouth his teeth were a bright white with slightly pointed canines.

He looked good.

“Well? Don’t leave me in suspense, what do you think my man?” Taako asked, and it was actually somewhat difficult to look away from the mirror.

“This will work,” he said, and Taako looked rather disappointed by the response.

“Awe come on, I actually tried here,” he said, and Kravitz nodded. He kept finding himself glancing back towards the mirror, and he knew it wasn’t- he knew he had not actually changed.

But there was something strange and almost unsettling, seeing himself as an actual person. Looking at himself like that, watching his expression change with a single thought, even though he couldn't feel any of it, it was still-

It would have been so easy to just _pretend._

“No, no this is fine,” he said, trying to assure Taako. When he finally managed to tear his eyes away from the mirror it did not seem that he’d done a very good job of that. The elf already had his wand back in his hand, glancing back down at the spell.

“I can change it. I think I can- yeah no, I can dispel it and try again,” he insisted, but before Taako could get off the dispel Kravitz had his hands held up. He couldn’t say he appreciated the burst of panic that hit him at the thought of Taako taking this away. There was no reason for him to feel any sort of attachment to this form, it wasn’t real. It certainly wasn’t actually him.

“Don’t- you don’t have to- you may leave it for now. I do like this form Taako,” Kravitz said, and that got the elf to pause. It was obvious he was confused, and Kravitz supposed that was fair. He could accept that he was acting strangely. After a moment though Taako put his wand back down, nodding a little hesitantly.

“Alright well, if you think of anything you do want changed just say the word. I’m gonna have to recast the sell every eight hours anyway. No reason why we can’t tweak some shit if you want to try out anything,” he offered, and Kravitz supposed that was kind of him. He doubted it was any extra work, but it was nice to know he wasn’t stuck like this if he didn’t want to be. Instead of saying anything Kravitz simply nodded, taking one last glance at the mirror before turning away again.

With that they started preparing for the rest of the day, and when Taako suggested they leave this town and head to another larger town close by, Kravitz was all for it.

It was strange walking through the street with this disguise on. Taako was much less nervous, no longer trying to walk as far away from him as possible, insisting that Kravitz follow behind a few feet. No one seemed to pay them any mind either, less people were staring at him in particular for sure. 

There were still glances here and here, but they seemed less fearful. Certainly less cautious, at least for the most part. Each one somehow managed to make him feel so much more on display than when he was without an illusion. He had known what people thought of him then, but now with this he had absolutely no idea.

They were well out of town, having traveled for most of the day and were starting to look for a place to set up camp when the spell ended. Kravitz had been counting down the hours and knew it was coming up soon, so he wasn’t surprised when it dropped suddenly, his hands metal again, the blue light from his core shining through.

It took a second before Taako glanced back at him, doing a quick double take when he realized the spell was gone. It was hard to tell what he was thinking at the sight of him, but honestly it didn’t seem like much.

“Ugh, have we really been walking for eight hours?” he asked, and somehow that question helped put Kravitz’s mind at ease. Of course, he was only concerned about the time. Nothing had actually changed about Kravitz, and so nothing needed to change between them.

“You have had several stops, including a whole hour for lunch,” he said, and Taako rolled his eyes at that. He looked around where they were standing and then stopped, dropping his bag on the ground.

“Well, whatever, it’s been long enough anyway. Let’s just set up camp here,” he said. Kravitz didn’t argue, setting down his bags as well, helping to gather some fire wood and other menial tasks that went by much faster if he took care of them.

The next few days went similarly. Kravitz was thankful that the time traveling meant he didn’t have to spend too much time around mirrors. Taako still cast the disguise spell on him every morning, and Kravitz requested he keep it the same as the one from the first day. He just needed time to get used to it.

Which, he ended up having plenty of time for that.

Taako was still trying to find some way to reverse this, but as far as Kravitz could tell he wasn’t making all that much progress. They were traveling from town to town, and Taako would stop in any library or temple he could find. Now that Kravitz was no longer sticking out, he seemed more comfortable going to places with bigger groups of people. There were a few times where caravans were in the towns they went through, and Taako integrated himself seamlessly in with the crowds there. He had no problem making small talk, carefully trying to edge whatever information or rumor might help lead them towards some sort of spell that could fix this.

Kravitz felt… significantly less adept in a crowd. It was so many people, so many places where threats might come from. It wasn’t just the spell that made him focus on that, his programming as a guard kicking in as well.

They were in with one of those caravans now, and Kravitz thanked his lucky stars that Taako at least did not seem intent on actually _traveling_ with any of them. Still, he had wandered up to a group sitting around a camp fire, and it looked like at least two of them were magic users. Kravitz watched from a short distance as Taako seemed to charm his way into the group, far enough away that he couldn’t actually hear much of the conversation.

Every so often one of the members of the group would glance back towards him, and Kravitz very much noticed the looks of suspicion. When one of them elbowed Taako, he couldn’t make out whatever they whispered to him. He did see Taako waving a hand like he was trying to brush off any concern, and then he was getting up and coming back over to him.

“Hey Krav, quit standing over here all loom and gloom. Come hang,” Taako said, and there were a few things Kravitz had discovered about this illusion since he started wearing it. It tended to reflect how he was feeling pretty accurately. So, he was certain the expression he had to that suggestion was not a very positive one.

“I think it’s best if I stay over here. It allows for a better view of the surroundings for any potential dangers,” he tried. Everything was a potential danger, Taako was just as likely to get stabbed by one of the people around the fire as he was by anyone else walking around this place. It did not seem to be a group of very upstanding individuals from what he could see. Taako frowned at that though, looking a bit put off.

“I know you’re a guard and you’ve got the whole protection thing going on, but can’t you at least _try_ to loosen up?” he asked, and Kravitz was honestly confused. He did not understand why Taako would want him over there.

“No,” he said plainly, and the elf huffed at that.

“Okay, this is why everyone here thinks you’re a cop,” he said, the words coming out in a whispered hiss. Kravitz cocked his head to the side at that.

“Elaborate?”

“I’m _trying_ to find some leads here, but no one will talk about shit because you’re standing over here looking like a grade A nark my man! I had to tell them you’re with me so that they wouldn’t beat your ass, but now I’m the one looking suspect. So just get over here and try to chill for once so that I can get some actual work done,” Taako explained. Kravitz paused at that, slowly digesting the information.

“If they are worried about a legal presence being here and it is even more vital that I keep on guard,” he said, and apparently that was not the answer Taako was hoping for at all.

“Okay, yeah we’re not doing this,” he said, and Kravitz wasn’t sure what he expected Taako to do. It for sure wasn’t to grab him by the wrist and start to pull him along to the group by the fire by himself.

“Taako. Taako stop. Taako I am not comfortable doing this,” he tried, but the elf did not seem to be interested in listening to him.

“My dude, just relax. No one’s gonna attack,” he assured, and the thing was that Kravitz knew he was right. Taako seemed very at ease in this environment, it was obvious that he belonged here. Kravitz was even fairly certain that if something did go wrong, Taako would be able to handle it on his own. That wasn’t the problem.

The problem was that Kravitz didn’t know how to interact with people.

Taako brought him over to the group and sat down. Everyone else was sitting as well, so Kravitz awkwardly sat as well. It was clear that the rest of this group was suspicious and uncomfortable with him, and Kravitz felt like Taako had made the wrong decision to bring him over. This was definitely not helping anyone.

“So uh, what’s your name?” one of the people asked, a human who looked to be some sort of ranger, or maybe a rogue.

“Kravitz,” he said simply. He could see the way a few members of this group glanced at each other, like they were unsure what to make of him.

“Taako said you’re a friend of his?” another asked, and it was hard not to look at the elf for guidance on this.

“Yes,” he decided on. He did not think that Taako considered them friends, so it was probably a part of the ruse he was setting up. He was thankful though when the elf spoke up, saving him from any further questioning.

“Yeah sorry, conversations aren’t really the big guy’s strong suit,” he said, patting him on the shoulder. He then started to go off afterwards about something happening in the nearby town, and the conversation shifted along with him. Kravitz stayed out of it as much as he could. Sometimes someone would ask him a direct question, and Kravitz would answer in as short a way as possible.

Otherwise though, he just watched. Tried to take in every little detail about how these people acted, comparing it against himself. His illusion was good, but it didn’t modify his actions any. When he took stock of all those, it was very easy to see the difference.

These people were alive. Their bodies moved with ease. They _breathed._

And Kravitz didn't.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Still having a lot of fun with this fic and am excited to keep morning along towards the plot I have planned. Also I ended up changing the summary to something a bit more concise and more in line with the plot I have moving forward. I might end up tagging a few other characters, but I might wait until they actually appear, we'll see. 
> 
> as always, thanks for reading and I hope you enjoyed!


	7. Confusing Sun Metaphors

Taako was pretty sure that the less weird he tried to make all this the weirder it ended up getting.

The disguise thing had been mostly strategic, a way to make it so that Taako wasn’t constantly looking over his shoulder to see if someone was going to question him on the giant royal guard following his every movement. If they could blend into the crowds it would make the whole ordeal of traveling around a hell of a lot easier.

Which yeah, in that regard it worked with flying colors. Taako was pretty damn proud of the spell, and it was worth it to burn the spellslot every morning. In terms of helping them get in and out of places undetected it was a big ol’ success.

Everything else about it was fucking  _ weird _ though.

He couldn’t tell if Kravitz actually liked the disguise for one thing. He seemed almost freaked out by it the first time, but he didn’t let Taako change it either. Which, Taako guessed that meant the design wasn’t the problem. It was a pretty damn nice design too, if Taako did say so himself. Sure, the bare bones of it had been Kravitz, and a lot of it was just sort of how the magic fell, but still. Didn’t hurt to have his big ever present companion be nice to look at on top of everything else.

It was just… it made shit awkward. Seeing Kravitz in a person disguise so often made Taako forget sometimes that he  _ wasn’t _ really a person. At least not in a traditional sense. Like, he clearly had a personality and his own opinions and cared about things. Other than the fact that like, he was a construct, it was really hard to think of him as  _ that _ different. The disguise just layered that on even more.

Still, Taako was trying to get used to it, and he guessed Kravitz was too.

“Alright, lemme try something,” he said, closing the book in his lap. They were camping outside of a small town right now, mostly because Taako couldn’t really afford a room at the moment. He’d have to do another show soon or something, but this town wasn’t big enough to drum up much of a crowd, at least from what he’d seen so far. Kravitz was standing off to the side of the camp, and his disguise had faded about an hour ago. It wasn’t too important to have it up when they were alone like this, so Taako hadn’t bothered to recast it.

The construct nodded, walking a bit closer to him as Taako got to his feet. Looking over the restoration spell he’d found, it definitely wasn’t in his typical wheelhouse of spells. Still, it wouldn’t hurt to try.

“An explanation of this attempt please?” Kravitz asked as Taako got out his wand. It was a fair enough question, so he started explaining as he read over the spell one last time.

“It’s basically a low level restoration spell. Not exactly my cup of tea spellcasting wise, and I kinda doubt something this low will work. Still, if it does, fuck yeah, and if it doesn’t I can start working towards some of the more advanced shit with this under my belt,” he explained, and Kravitz nodded. Taako took that as permission to cast the spell, giving himself a mental countdown before flinging it out.

It  _ looked _ like he cast it correctly, a soft warm light covering Kravitz for a moment before fading. Without the illusion giving Kravitz facial features it was hard to tell what he was feeling, but not impossible anymore. Somehow Taako had started to notice little tells in the way he held himself.

If Taako had to guess, what he was feeling right now was not that impressed.

“Well, doesn’t hurt to give it a try,” Taako said, and Kravitz nodded. He started walking away from the camp, and like every other time, it wasn’t that long before he came walking back. Taako had a feeling that wouldn’t work, but he still let out a hum of irritation.

“Didn’t work,” Kravitz supplied helpfully.

“Alright, then we just move onto the next thing,” he said, and maybe he’d started a checklist of all the different things he’d tried and all the ones he hadn’t yet. He flipped to that page in his notebook, scratching off ‘lesser restoration’ as another failure. Looking down at the list, he told himself one of these damn things had to work. If he did this it shouldn’t be  _ that _ impossible to find a way to undo it.

“Taako?” Kravitz asked, bringing him out of his thoughts.

“Sup homie?” he asked back, not actually looking up from his work. Kravitz didn’t answer right away, which wasn’t too unusual for him. The dude usually had to take a bit to actually get his words in order, probably a side effect of not usually talking all that much.

“What will be our course of action if we are incapable of reversing the spell?” he asked, and Taako tried not to get annoyed with the question. It was a reasonable thing to worry about, Taako was worried about it. It was a perfectly reasonable question, except for the fact that he didn’t have an answer the last time Kravitz asked it, and he didn’t have one now either.

“We’ll figure it out,” he insisted instead, because like, that was the only option here. They would figure it out. He could tell even without a face that Kravitz wasn’t super impressed. He didn’t say anything for a long while though, which Taako figured meant the conversation was okay.

“How-” Kravitz started, quickly cutting himself off. The construct didn’t exactly ramble on though, so Taako caught it immediately. When he didn’t continue, he couldn’t help but be kind of curious.

“How what?” he asked, trying not to sound too prying. They were just having a casual conversation. Sure, they weren’t exactly friends, but shit got boring as fuck sometimes. It helped to have someone to talk to. Taako had to ignore the fact that this wasn’t who he wanted to talk to, wasn’t the person he was supposed to be traveling around with. Those thoughts wouldn’t help anything right now.

“How… what does it feel like to be alive?” he asked, and that… wasn’t the question Taako was expecting. Not in the slightest. He guessed his surprised showed in the low light of the campfire, because Kravitz quickly continued. “It is a meaningless question, which is why I had stopped myself. You have no reference point for what it feels to not be alive, so description would be difficult. Since I only have a fraction of the senses you possess I doubt any would translate,” he said, and it wasn’t like he was wrong. Taako wasn’t really sure where the fuck he would begin describing to someone what being  _ alive _ felt like.

Now that Kravitz told him he couldn’t though, he kind of wanted to try.

“Well, what senses do you have? Can’t believe I haven’t asked that yet,” he asked, and Kravitz’s head cocked to the side.

“Sight, hearing, and I am able to detect damage done to my construct. I do not believe it is one on one but the closest approximation I can understand is pain,” he explained. That wasn’t super surprising, he already knew Kravitz couldn’t taste, so smell was unlikely. Touch he hadn’t thought too much about, but he guessed that made sense.

“Okay, let’s see then, how would I describe being alive to someone who can only see and hear shit,” he said, thinking out loud for the most part. It was a difficult question, especially considering Taako wasn’t even sure what it meant to feel alive.

His mind went to warmth. Of cooking and delicious smells in a small kitchen with someone by his side. The thought faded away before he could grasp any of the details, and he thought of running through the streets, afraid and excited until someone else pulled him into an alley. Of hiding and trying not to laugh until whoever was chasing them were past.

It was suddenly being alone. In a cold forest, calling out for someone who’s face couldn’t quite solidify in his mind, feet freezing in the snow until he finally managed to drag himself into a town and hide in a bar until he could feel his toes again.

“It’s um, okay this is gonna sound cheesy, but like, the sun? Being alive is like how the sun moves through the sky,” he tried, and somehow Kravitz managed to look even more confused.

“The sun?” he asked, and Taako nodded.

“Yeah, it’s warm, but uh, warm is like if brightness was a feeling. People generally like being warm, but if there’s too much it’s overwhelming, and if there’s not enough you’re freezing. So you’re just constantly trying to find a balance but the damn sun won’t stop  _ moving,” _ he tried.

“This is a very confusing analogy,” Kravitz said bluntly, and Taako shrugged.

“Well it’s what I got. Never said I was a good person to ask for existential questions, alright?” he said, and Kravitz didn’t argue with that. He didn’t say anything for a long time, and usually Taako didn’t mind the silences too much. Right now though it felt wrong. Overwhelming.

“What was your life back at the palace? And don’t say you didn’t have one since you’re not alive, you know that’s not what I mean,” he asked, and it was hard to tell what Kravitz was thinking at that question. For a second Taako was worried that he was going to ignore it all together, but after a few long seconds he finally answered.

“It was peaceful for the most part. Not all the time, or else there would be no point to well, us guards, but the day to day was nice. Relaxing. Sometimes I would listen to the bards play in the marketplace from the upper overhangs,” he said finally, which wasn’t what Taako expected.

“Oh, uh, you like music?” he asked, trying to think if Kravitz had shown any sign of that before. If he did he certainly hadn’t noticed, but he felt like that wasn’t too on him. It wasn’t like he was an easy dude to read, even if Taako was getting better at it.

“Yes,” he said, and Taako let out a little hum at that. It was definitely kind of weird, but no weirder than the construct understanding and implementing sarcasm and that sort of stuff he supposed.

“What’s the queen like?” he asked, and if Kravitz didn’t want to talk about this he’d probably tell him. Despite everything he certainly never seemed to have too much trouble speaking his mind when Taako annoyed him. “People say she’s like, a death witch,” he added, and yeah. Even without a proper face he could see the instant shift of annoyance in the construct’s stance.

“She is no such thing! The practice of necromancy is abhorrent to her Majesty,” he huffed, and Taako shrugged, probably a little too casual and only annoying Kravitz further. He kind of expected the topic to drop after that, so he was surprised when Kravitz continued. “She is a fair leader. I understand that she has a reputation of being… cold, but it is not something I have found to be an issue. She is kind and true in her words,” he said and there was some definite conviction there.

“Was she actually nice to you? Or do you just feel like that because she made you?” Taako couldn’t help but ask. Kravitz was quiet for a moment, and he wondered if that was another existential question, like asking him what it was like to be alive.

“She was nice. She spoke to me often, she does not treat her guards as replaceable, despite our constructed nature,” he said, and Taako guessed that shouldn’t be too much of a surprise. Kravitz had talked about how she used to speak to them and stuff before. The construct let out a sigh, which Taako always felt was odd when he did it. Usually it seemed to just show how annoyed he was, but this was one almost wistful.

“There was a time when I was damaged. An encounter with a powerful necromancer that had broken into the palace, it left a large chunk of my form in disrepair and I was unable to move. Her Majesty insisted that I be recovered and repaired immediately, despite the necromancer having escaped in the process,” he explained, and Taako raised his eyebrows at that. He could understand the Queen talking to them and stuff. He knew from experience now that it was hard not to, especially when you didn’t have much else around.

Actually going out of her way to make sure they were safe after a battle though was another thing entirely.

“Huh,” he said after a minute, blinking as he poked at the fire some with a stick, sending ashes and sparks flying up into the air. “Ever catch the necromancer?” he asked, because it felt weird not to say anything else but he wasn’t sure what else to talk about. This whole thing was just weird.

“No,” Kravitz said, a distinctly annoyed and bitter tone to his voice. “It was not very long before you had ah, relieved me of my previous duty. So we were still tracking him down,” he explained, and Taako tried not to wince at the reminder that he was the whole reason Kravitz was here right now. He’d been trying not to think about that, but it was kind of hard when the dude was talking about his home. When he actually sounded like he missed that place.

“Right,” he muttered, and it wasn’t like there was any reason for him to act upset or annoyed right now. This wasn’t even something he could relate to. “So, is that the plan for when you get back? Help track down this dude and get revenge for fucking you up or whatever?” he asked, and Kravitz actually shrugged.

“If he has not been caught already. Revenge is not a priority, but as a necromancer and a thief he must be brought to justice,” he said, and Taako raised an eyebrow at that.

“Thief huh? What he steal?” he asked, and he’d be kind of curious if he’d ever met this guy before. He tended to run with the lower levels of society at all, at least when it suited him. Still, he tried not to deal with anyone actually dangerous, and someone who practiced necromancy and fucking broke into the palace sounded like bad news.

“Several books. We found him in the library of the palace,” Kravitz explained, and yeah that made sense.

The conversation ended up dying down some after that, and Taako supposed that made sense. It was honestly more than they tended to talk already, and he felt like he was starting to reach his limit. It was hard enough when Kravitz was being a snarky asshole and complaining all the time. It wasn’t better to hear him being all sad about missing his home and his Queen. It might actually have been even worse.

Thankfully it was quiet as Taako started setting up to sleep for the night. That was one thing he might actually miss once Kravitz left. It was nice being able to sleep when he was camping without having to worry and set up a bunch of tripwires to make sure no one stuck up on him. He could just rest and trust that the giant fucking guard that didn’t sleep and was made of metal would alert him if anything tried to attack him.

Normally he would be pretty psyched about that. He couldn’t even feel all that thankful for it tonight though, instead it just left a bad feeling in his gut as he laid down.

He hated this. He wasn’t used to feeling guilty about things.

He wasn’t used to caring about anyone else enough to feel guilty.

It took Taako a while to get to sleep, which was frustrating in its own right. It was even more so when some indeterminate amount of time later he found himself being shaken awake, a scream of terror dying in his throat as the world slowly came back into focus around him. He could feel his heart beating hard in his chest, but whatever had terrorized him had already slipped from his mind by the time he was able to focus on the two softly glowing gems Kravitz had for eyes.

“You were experiencing another one of the scenarios that you had described as a nightmare,” he oh so helpfully informed.

“Yeah no shit,” Taako snapped, immediately wincing afterwards. There was no reason to feel bad, it wasn’t like Kravitz could give him a sad look, and Taako already knew he was an asshole. Still, he could at least acknowledge that he’d been the one to ask Kravitz to wake him up if he ever had another nightmare. “I mean, thanks I guess. Sorry, kinda out of it after them,” he sighed. Taking a quick look around, the edges of the eastern sky were starting to lighten to a soft gray.

“This is understandable. You appear to be in a great deal of distress during the incident,” Kravitz said, and Taako wanted to play it off, but instead he just shrugged, pulling his knees up so that he could rest his chin on them. He could try and sleep some more, but the sun was rising soon. He couldn’t remember whatever happened in the dream, but he didn’t think he’d be able to sleep again anytime soon.

It was quiet for a long moment, the only sound the slow wake of the woods around them, birds starting to chirp annoyingly and that sort of thing. It was a better thing to concentrate on than the nagging terror still plaguing at the back of his mind.

“Taako?” Kravitz asked after some amount of time, Taako wasn’t sure. Despite feeling like he couldn’t sleep anymore he might have been drifting in and out a bit there.

“Hm?” he hummed, not bothering to actually look up at Kravitz as he did. That was something he kind of appreciated about the dude, he didn’t seem to care if Taako was looking at him or not when they talked.

“These nightmares you have, you described that as vivid hallucinations, correct?” he asked, and Taako nodded, unable to hold back a sigh. Definitely not a topic he was thrilled to be talking about right now, but it’s not like he could blame the dude. Dreams probably sounded pretty fucking wild to someone who couldn’t sleep.

“Yeah, basically. They’re harmless, people usually have them nightly. Most of the time we don’t even remember the regular dreams, and you can’t even tell they’re happening from the outside,” he explained. Kravitz nodded at that, and Taako could tell that there was still something on the construct’s mind.

“I can imagine it would be very taxing on your body to have such distressing events on a nightly basis,” he said, and that sure was an understatement. After a moment, Kravitz continued. “If it is not too personal, what part of this nightmare had managed to cause you such fear?” he asked, and Taako wasn’t able to keep from frowning at the question.

“You want to know what my dream was about?” he asked, unable to keep the incredulous tone out of his voice. If it bothered Kravitz though he didn’t really show it, instead just nodding.

“More simply put I suppose, yes,” he said, and Taako’s first instinct was to snap at the dude. Insist that it wasn’t any of his business, because it fucking  _ wasn’t.  _ Sure, they were stuck together for now, but that didn’t mean he had to actually involve the dude with his life. They both just wanted to get them over with as fast as possible so that they could get on with their own shit and never have to think about the rest ever again.

So he could tell Kravitz to fuck off. He was perfectly in his rights to tell Kravitz to fuck off.

But the frustrating thing was there would be no goddamn point to it. So instead he just shrugged.

“I have no clue my dude. I uh, I usually can’t remember my dreams afterwards. In fact, scratch that, I can never remember my dreams, especially not the scary ones,” he said, and Kravitz cocked his head to the side at that.

“You have no memory of it what so ever?” he asked, and like Taako got it. He knew this was all weird to Kravitz, of course he would have questions. That didn’t mean he had to be happy with answering them.

“No, okay? It all just drains out of my head the second I open my eyes, I don’t even know if they’re ya know, concrete dreams. Might just be mindless terror and junk, like a sleeping panic attack or something. It’d make as much sense as anything else,” he said, and again Kravitz didn’t respond for a moment. Taako was thoroughly awake at this point, and he was halfway to starting to pack up camp so they could get an early start when Kravitz spoke again.

“When you are having one of these nightmares, you speak in your sleep. Since it has only happened twice I cannot extrapolate much from what you say, but both times you had called out for the person you mentioned searching for, Lup,” Kravitz said, and Taako froze at that. Like, it made sense, he kind of knew that happened. He’d woken up crying her name dozens of times now.

He just didn’t know why.

“Well there’s one thing down, we know the nightmares have Lup in them. Let me know if I manage to yell anything else useful before you wake me up the next time I guess,” he said, because as much as he wanted to brush the whole thing off, maybe it would help. At the very least he guessed it wouldn’t hurt.

“I will do so,” Kravitz assured him, which was good enough to supposed. He tried to tell himself it didn’t matter, they were just nonsense dreams, but a small part of him couldn’t help but hope.

He had to remember something after all. He could feel it, and Taako didn’t know much but he was pretty sure he wasn’t the type of person to just go chasing feelings aimlessly. He knew that something had to be going on here.

"Who was she?" Kravitz asked, and Taako wasn't even sure how to answer that. When he didn't say anything for a moment the construct continued. "If this is too personal you do not have to answer," he said, and Taako almost snorted at that.

"She's my sister," he said, and a part of him wanted to say more than that. Lup was more than that.

“Do you miss her?” Kravitz asked, sounding almost hesitant. Taako let out a sigh, and he hated that it was almost  _ easy _ to talk to Kravitz about this. At the very least, easier than anyone else he’d ever met.

“Yeah, of course I fucking do,” he said. Reaching over, he picked up a long stick, poking at the burned out remains of the fire from the night before. “Do you miss the Queen?” he asked, and if he had to guess he was pretty sure the question took Kravitz by surprise. He didn’t take as long to answer it as he did with a lot of other questions though, nodding pretty quickly.

“Yes,” he said simply, not going into any more detail than that. He guessed there really wasn’t any need for any more, the dude had already talked about her last night. It was easy for Taako to see why he would miss her.

“What was your sister like?” Kravitz asked, and Taako almost winced at the question. It was only fair, but it was too fucking early in the morning to deal with this kind of shit. Sighing, Taako stood up, starting to pack up the camp. He intended to ignore the question, especially since Kravitz didn’t seem to bother on pressing things if they weren’t about freeing him.

The question kept bouncing around in his head though, and he hated how hard it was to answer it.

He hated that he couldn’t even remember her  _ face. _

“You know what I was saying yesterday, about life being a lot like the sun?” he asked, and Kravitz cocked his head to the side in confusion. When he glanced over at the horizon, it was just starting to peak up over the trees now.

“Yes?” he said, clearly not having any idea where this was going or what it had to do with this question.

“That’s what Lup’s like,” he said, and Kravitz stared at him for a moment.

“Confusing?” he asked, and Taako couldn’t help but snort at that, shaking his head. Then he stopped, because well, he couldn’t really say no. If anything, a lot of stuff about her certainly did seem to be confusion.

“Well, a little. But mostly the other shit, warm, bright. She’s uh, she’s the better one of us, I know that one for a fact,” he said, and he told himself this had to be true. Even if he couldn’t remember her exactly, he could remember what it was like when she was around, and how things had changed when suddenly she wasn’t.

“She sounds pleasant,” Kravitz said, and Taako nodded in agreement, finishing packing up the camp at this point. Pulling out his map, he let the subject drop. This was more than he needed to deal with. They just needed to get Kravitz free and then he could forget about all of this and focus on what was really important.

“So, we should be able to reach town today. Since we’re already up might as well get the leg out,” he said, and Kravitz followed along as he started walking out of the clearing.

There were some things that were nice about having Kravitz around, but Taako told himself not to get used to them. Soon enough they’d get him fixed and he could go back home.

And Taako would be alone again.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> oh hey it's been a while but we're back to this one now! I'm planning to get a decent backlog written for it so I can update a lot more regularly, especially as a couple of my other fics are coming to an end. I'm v excited to be back writing this one tho. I've got plans for these boys. 
> 
> as always, thanks for reading and i hope you enjoyed!


	8. If Not Hate

Kravitz had thought that the longer he was out here, being forced to interact with Taako and the world at large, the more it would make sense to him. His previous experience would suggest that the more familiar something became the easier it was to understand and have a concrete opinion on. So therefore, the fact that he and Taako had been traveling together for nearly two months now should have meant that Kravitz had a solid idea of where he stood in relation to Taako. It should be easy.

Somehow though despite what would make sense, his opinions on Taako only seemed to get more convoluted. More confusing. The wizard was incredibly, incredibly confusing.

Two months. He had never even considered being away from his post for so long. Even when Taako had taken him one month was unthinkable, until it ended up happening. Then they realized they couldn’t wait for the spell to go away on its own, and they started trying to look for any way imaginable to get rid of it.

Reason would dictate that Kravitz be furious and resentful of Taako. It made sense, he was the reason for this entire situation. He had been acting in a panic, trying to protect his life during the initial casting of the spell, but he had made the choice to leave instead of owning up to his mistake and seeking help from her Majesty. If he had gone right away, explained the situation and pleaded for forgiveness, Kravitz was sure the Queen would have been lenient in her judgment. They would have found some way to separate them at this point, surely. Every day Taako preferred to try and find a solution on his own and not return him to his duty should have increased the disdain Kravitz had for him.

And maybe a part of it did. He was frustrated, of course, and irritated with Taako at times. He was incredibly stubborn and did not seem to understand the severity of the situation often. Despite that Kravitz was finding with great distress that he did not by any means  _ hate _ Taako.

For a bit he had worried it was a function of the protective charm. He considered bringing it up with the wizard, to try and figure out why, despite having every reason to, he did not hate him. Every time he tried to though, he found himself hesitating. To put it bluntly, it seemed like a rude thing to ask someone.

And the more he thought about it, the less he believed this had something to do with the charm. They had delved into that possible effect of the spell extensively at the start, to try and discover what spell had been cast in the first place. He had no notion when he was first put under the charm that Taako was his friend. No positive feelings towards him, no delusion that he cared for him in the slightest. It had been a relief, to know he was still himself.

So there had to be some other explanation as to why he didn’t hate Taako. Unfortunately he’d yet to find one that didn’t at it’s core break down to ‘because he was likable.' Honestly, Kravitz wasn’t even sure if that was true.

“So I was thinking we might need to start looking into some, uh, alternative methods to figure out this puzzle,” Taako said, knocking Kravitz out of his thoughts. When he let his gaze focus back on the elf instead of absently scanning the surrounding area, it was easy to see that he was speaking with his mouth full. In the time out here he had surmised that this was indeed something seen as rude.

“What kind of alternative methods?” he asked back, and it was hard not to show how uncomfortable he was. Taako had decided that he would like to have his lunch inside today, and Kravitz couldn’t argue with him too much. He did not have any issues with things like cold or the heat, other than snow being a difficult terrain to maneuver in. It was starting to get much colder as they headed into winter though, and he at least knew enough about living creatures to know they did not preform optimally in the cold.

Still, he couldn’t say he was a fan of sitting in a small, crowded tavern, especially when the workers here kept asking if he would like to order something. That wasn’t even getting to how having to sit hampered his line of sight, and how many potential dangers there were.

“That I haven’t really figured out yet, but I’ll let you know when I do,” Taako said, which should have been irritating. It was irritating, because it meant Taako still had no real idea how to fix this problem.

But he was still working on it. He had been working rather tirelessly this past month, and the results had not been very promising, but Kravitz supposed the attempts still had to count for something. He certainly continued to prove himself a much more intelligent caster than Kravitz had ever expected.

Was that it? His dedication to their shared goal, how willing he was to spend countless hours working on a way to fix this mistake? That shouldn’t endear the elf to him, because it was the least he could do considering he had caused this problem in the first place. His intelligence then? Kravitz certainly hadn’t expected anything in that regard at first. It was clear now that Taako could be incredibly competent when he so desired. The kind of magic he dealt with was beyond anything Kravitz could ever do, as a being without a soul. Despite that it was still fascinating to watch him work at times.

He wasn’t competent  _ enough _ though, because clearly nothing he had done yet was enough to get rid of this spell. He certainly didn’t bother with appearing as smart as he actually was most of the time either. Kravitz was fairly sure he was intentionally playing down his intelligence at times, but he couldn’t be certain.

Maybe it was just the fact that no matter what Taako seemed capable of surprising him. Of course, that should be more irritating than anything. There was no reason why he should  _ like _ that.

“You alright there big guy?” Taako asked, the question once again knocking Kravitz out of his musings.

Ugh, he was fairly sure he never had to  _ think _ this much back at the palace. It was exhausting.

“I am fine. Why?” he asked, unsure what could have called Taako’s attention. He had mentioned several times that Kravitz wasn’t exactly ‘chatty’ so his silence should not have been the issue. He knew he was not the best at controlling his facial expressions when under the illusion spell though, and he needed to get better at it. In response Taako shrugged, taking a long sip of what was left of his drink before responding.

“I don’t know, you just looked kinda irritated?” he said, and Kravitz sighed. He was going to have to break that habit once he finally was able to return to the palace, but for now he supposed it helped him blend in.

“I was just trying to figure out the logistics of our next steps. As I understand it travel is much more difficult in the winter,” he said, and it was a lie. Still, he felt that there was no need for Taako to know about the internal debate he had been having, and this was something that they needed to take care of. Kravitz certainly hoped that it would not take all winter to find a way to undo the charm, but he wasn’t holding out that much hope.

It seemed to be enough for Taako to believe though, and he winced a bit at the topic. He’d finished his food at this point, so now they were waiting for someone to come around again so that they could pay.

“Yeah, it’d be a good idea to head over to one of the big cities and spend the winter there. Like, travel ain’t impossible in the winter, but it’s not fucking fun. Rather find a place with some good resources and see what we can do cracking the books for as long as possible,” Taako said, and Kravitz nodded at that suggestion. It seemed reasonable enough. When it came to travel and what they needed in order to subsist from the day to day Taako was much more knowledgeable than he was.

“I suspect that you would not consider Astral an acceptable location to reside for the winter?” he asked, already knowing the answer but figuring it couldn’t hurt to throw it out there anyway. He couldn’t say he was surprised by the look on Taako’s face at the suggestion.

“Yeah, maybe let’s not plan on that. I was thinking someplace more like Neverwinter? Still pretty huge, heard it’s got a good university. Might be able to find something useful there,” he said, and even though Kravitz wanted to be annoyed at his idea getting shut down, he couldn’t say Neverwinter wasn’t a good alternative.

“As the second largest city we should be able to find ample resources there to help with our goal,” he said, and Taako grinned brightly at that.

“Hell yeah, Neverwinter it is,” he said. Thankfully their waiter came around soon after that, and Taako was able to pay so they could leave. There were times when Taako was fine with a comfortable silence between them, but today appeared to not be one of those days. Kravitz only half listened as Taako talked the whole way back to the inn they were currently staying at, but he felt that he got the important parts. It was a bit of a trek to Neverwinter still, they would most likely have to make a few stops along the way, at the very least for Taako to earn some money.

So that was the plan, and all in all it was an easy enough one to follow. Once Taako mapped out a route to Neverwinter they estimated that it would take about two and a half weeks to get there. According to Taako they should have headed out a week ago, but there wasn’t anything to be done about that now. Still, he was clearly not looking forward to some uncomfortable camping.

All Kravitz had to do was ensure that Taako didn’t die on the trip. Otherwise the protective charm didn’t seem to care if he was comfortable or not.

The first week or so of the trip was rather usual. Kravitz wasn’t sure at what point he had started to get used to their travel, even if the finer points still utterly mystified him. Still, the daily ins and outs were not very noteworthy. Taako ran his Sizzle It Up street show twice when they had stopped in one town, and Kravitz had seen it several times at this point. It was still rather engaging, and there was something about how at ease Taako appeared being the center of attention that Kravitz couldn’t quite grasp.

Each time he watched he found himself wishing there was some way for him to try the food. It was a foolish thing to think about, and most other food didn’t tempt him in such a way. He supposed that was just on Taako’s skills, he was very good at marketing.

They were setting up camp about a few days out from Neverwinter when Kravitz realized how cold it had gotten.

“Shit,” Taako said, and for a moment Kravitz was scanning the area for possible dangers. It only took a second for him to notice where Taako was looking, and following his gaze up he saw what the issue was.

Small, white flakes had started to drift down from the overcast sky, which meant the temperature was below freezing. He had no real idea what that felt like, but from the irritation seeping from Taako, it probably wasn’t great.

“Will this cause any significant problems to your well-being or should we delay our travels?” Kravitz asked. Taako sighed, and it was late enough that they would not be able to make it to a town before night truly fell. Thankfully he shook his head after a moment, seeming to divert his attention to building up the fire pit.

“No, we should still be good. It’s just gonna suck, I was hoping we wouldn’t get snow this early in the year but we can’t ever be that lucky,” he huffed, and Kravitz supposed he had ample cause to be annoyed.

Taako did not seem to do as much work on fixing up the camp as he normally would. Instead he mostly building up the fire as large as he could and set up a tarp before sitting down, a blanket drawn around him. Kravitz took up his spot close by, watching over the small campsite for any potential threats. Of course, the only real threat at the moment was the temperature, but there wasn’t much Kravitz could do about that.

“Hey, I’m gonna try and catch some sleep. Could you make sure to keep the fire going so I don’t, ya know, freeze to death?” Taako asked, starting to set out his sleeping mat. Kravitz nodded, and his living illusion had faded about an hour ago, so he didn’t have to worry about what sort of expression he was making.

“Is this level adequate to keep you warm?” he asked, and Taako glanced over at the fire before nodding.

“Yeah, about this should be fine. Thanks Krav,” he said, before lying down and closing his eyes. It wasn’t the most engaging task in the world, but Kravitz found he was thankful to at least have something to focus on over the night. He had read the few books he’d brought with him quite a few times at this point and was getting a bit bored of them. He would have to see if he could find any new ones when they were in Neverwinter, if it looked like they would not be able to undo the spell for some time still.

Taako had been asleep for about two hours when Kravitz noticed the shaking. For a moment he thought that this was the beginning of another nightmare, as the elf tended to move rather erratically during those. This didn’t evolve into anything like that though, he didn’t start calling out for Lup or thrashing around. He was just softly shivering, and Kravitz felt like it took him a bit longer than it should have to realize that it was a symptom of the cold.

Adding more wood to the fire, Kravitz waited a moment to see if that would solve the problem. It didn’t, and he was halfway tempted to add even more. It would be best to try and keep it at least somewhat under control though. Taako had a tarp up to protect him from the falling snow, and it would be bad if it caught.

Trying to think of what else he could do, Kravitz wasn’t the best at this aspect of keeping things alive. There wasn’t any single force he could manage to fight in order to protect him. He couldn’t even really understand what it was he was feeling to know how to fix it. All he really knew about the cold was that people cut it off by either adding heat, like the fire, or covering themselves in layers of clothes.

The blanket Taako had was not particularly thick, maybe that was the problem? If it was there wasn’t much he could do to solve it, other than maybe dump his bag of clothes out on top of him.

He was halfway tempted to do that when he remembered the thick, feathered cloak around his shoulders. Kravitz’s first instinct was to dismiss the idea outright. Taako had assured him that the fire would be enough to keep him alive for the night, so there was no reason to worry any more than that.

There was no reason to worry all that much at all. Kravitz hadn’t brought it up, because he knew for a fact that this would be rude. He was fairly sure of one way to end the charm though. If Taako died, there would be nothing bounding him to protect. It might cause some temporary discomfort, but he was fairly certain it would be nothing he couldn’t handle.

Watching Taako shiver for a few more minutes, Kravitz let out a low grumble of frustration as he unhooked the cloak and removed it from his shoulders. He had no idea if it would do well to keep someone warm, but the fabric was thick and he knew feathers were insulating.

Laying it over Taako, he paused for a moment. Thankfully it didn’t wake him up any, and Kravitz slowly took a few steps back to make sure not to risk it any more. As he watched, it seemed like the cloak seemed to do enough, the shivering going down quite a bit.

There was no reason for him to be relieved by that. He told himself it was just the charm making him want to ensure Taako’s safety.

He wasn’t quite sure he believed that though, and that truly was the worst.

——

Taako was not a fan of the winter. Winter was always rough, and ever since… lately, it had just gotten even worse. Everything about it was rougher, just making it even more pronounced how alone he was. How little he could remember.

All his clear memories started back in the woods, in the snow, and he fucking hated being reminded of that. So when it started to snow as he set up camp Taako was kind of pissed. They weren’t even that far into winter, so chances were this one was going to be a bad one. Add on the fact that he couldn’t even focus on finding Lup because he still hadn’t figured out a way to release Kravitz from his spell, and he was not in a good mood.

When he woke up the next morning Taako wasn’t as cold as he expected to be. It was a nice surprise, and instead of waking up he pulled his blanket tighter around him, savoring the warmth. He was still half asleep, so it took him a while before he noticed that something was off. Shifting slightly, he felt that something brushing against his face.

Opening his eyes it took a second for his sight to focus, mostly because it his face was almost entirely covered by his blanket. Or no, not his blanket. He saw the feathers first, and when he realized what those were it didn’t take too long for him to figure out what was going on.

Sitting up, he could see now that the cloak Kravitz always wore had been thrown over him sometime in the middle of the night. For a split second he felt himself panic, and then he saw Kravitz standing by the fire, watching him with that same blank expression his construct form always had. He didn’t mean to let out a sigh of relief at that, but it would have been kind of concerning if the dude had vanished. Taako liked to think that after all this time, he’d at least say goodbye once the spell wore off.

Maybe he wouldn’t though, and he guessed that it didn’t matter either way.

“You were showing signs of an adverse reaction to the cold. I believe the cloak is suitably insulated,” Kravitz explained.

“Ah, makes sense. Yeah man, it’s cozy as shit,” he said, and Taako knew what they needed to do. He needed to give the cloak back, get the camp packed up and head off the rest of the way to Neverwinter. Taako was pretty on board with every step of that plan except for the whole ‘giving the cloak back’ part. Kravitz must’ve noticed his hesitation, because after staring at him for a moment he spoke again.

“Is something the matter?” he asked, and Taako tried to look as casual as possible as he shrugged.

“No, nothing’s wrong. I was just thinking though, it got a bit colder than I expected, and uh, once we start walking I’m not gonna have a fire to keep my warm,” he started, and Kravitz nodded slowly.

“Will you be in danger?” he asked, and Taako shook his head. It was probably not great to lie about potential life threatening scenarios to the sentinel that was magically bound to protect him at all costs. He wasn't that much of a dick, or at least he wasn't feeling like it at the moment.

“No, nothing like, life threatening. I’ll just be like, real cold. And this cloak is super warm, like I know you don’t have any idea what warm is like but oh boy this shit is comfy,” he said. He could already see the annoyance in Kravitz despite the fact that he hadn’t cast the illusion spell yet.

“Would you prefer to keep the cloak until we arrive safely in Neverwinter?” Kravitz asked, and yeah there was definitely some irritation in his voice. It didn’t bother him any though, Taako grinning brightly as he pushed himself up, keeping the cloak tight around his shoulders. Or well, at tight as it would go, it was definitely a little big on him, what with Kravitz being a full foot taller than him and made of metal and stone.

“Well if you insist! Thanks Krav, you’re the best,” he said, and he couldn’t help but feel a little smug about the whole thing. It was a fucking nice cloak, from the first time he saw it he knew that the thing was worth more than he usually spent in a month. Kravitz seemed pretty protective of the thing too, so maybe he was a little excited at getting to wear it. It wasn’t like he was used to actually having nice shit.

“You are insufferable,” Kravitz said, putting out what was left of the fire while Taako rolled up his bed mat.

“Nah, you like me,” he said, brushing off the construct’s complaining. Stuffing his shitty blanket back into his bag, he managed to sling the thing over his shoulder without dislodging the cloak, doing his best not to mess up the feathers as much as he could. Even if he wasn't used to having nice shit he could respect the craftsmanship that went into it. He certainly wasn't going to fuck it up when Kravitz was letting him borrow it. “Alright, ready to go?” he asked, turning back towards the construct.

Who looked frozen in place. Normally the dude was pretty stiff, considering the whole metal body thing, but this look like he’d been stopped midstep. A second too late he seemed to realize Taako was looking at him, jolting up and nodding.

“Yes, quite ready,” he said, and Taako wasn’t sure what to think of that.

“Alright then,” he said, and thankfully it didn’t snow that much over the night, a light dusting over the ground that didn’t impede their walking any. Kravitz stayed behind him, a little to the left. Once they got closer to a town Taako would have to stop and cast the disguise spell, but as it was now they were pretty well alone out here, no need to waste the spell slots. “You sure you’re good, big guy?” he asked, not sure if this was something he should just let go or not.

“I am sure,” he said, and well Taako wasn’t going to press any more than that. If he didn’t want to talk about it then it wasn’t any of his business. “Actually,” Kravitz started, surprising him, “I believe I have reached a conclusion on something… important.”

“Oh? Wanna share?” he asked, curious despite himself.

“I have decided that despite having  _ every reason to, _ I do not hate you,” Kravitz said, and whatever Taako was expecting it certainly wasn’t that. He couldn’t help but let out a bark of laughter, and he guessed it made sense. Kravitz wasn’t making any play that they were friends here, just two people stuck in a shitty situation.

Or well, not people. One person and one arcane intelligence that kept fooling him into forgetting he wasn’t actually real.

“Is that so? Well shit, don’t get too sentimental on me man, you’re gonna make me all warm and fuzzy,” he said, maybe being a little more sarcastic than he needed to. How else was someone supposed to take ‘I don’t hate you.’ though? Like, he knew this was probably some big revelation for Kravitz, but still.

“No, the cloak is doing that,” Kravitz said, and Taako was  _ trying _ to be annoyed. Despite that he couldn’t help snorting in laughter.

“Okay, fair enough,” he muttered, pulling the cloak back up onto his shoulders when it started to slip. “Well for the record, I don’t despise your guts either,” he said, because well it was true. As frustrating as this whole thing was, the longer he spent with Kravitz the more Taako felt like he wasn’t the problem. Taako didn’t mind having him around, it was just the fact that he wasn’t supposed to be here.

Kravitz himself though was fine. Like he said, he didn’t hate him.

For now that would just have to be enough.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> oh boy so in the last week i kinda went hogwild on this fic and wrote eight whole chapters and don't have much intention to slow down for the remainder of camp nano. So with that in mind we're gonna be on a weekly update schedule for a while, posting new chapters on Saturdays. Also, the chapter count has gone up some, because that's just how we do it here. Seriously tho, I'm very excited for this fic and hope others are too
> 
> as always, thanks for reading and i hope you enjoyed!


	9. Simple Pleasures

Kravitz did let Taako keep the cloak until they reached Neverwinter, and he wondered if he could use the cold as an excuse to snag the thing again in the future. He’d never actually worn something that nice before, at least not that he could remember. He could certainly get used to it though, and it was making him sorely tempted to throw up a couple extra Sizzle It Up showings to see if he could afford a semi-nice coat.

The show never did as well in the winter though, another reason he hated the season. Just not enough people out to drum up the kind of crowd he needed, and the people who did show up didn’t usually want to stand around long waiting for their food.

Once they were in the city Taako figured the first thing to do was find a place to stay. Since they were gonna be here longer than usual he didn’t want to go with just the first, cheapest inn he could find. And since Sizzle It Up was usually a bust once it got real cold like this, it would be good to see if he could find some sort of supplemental work.

After some asking around, making sure he did the talking and not Kravitz, they found a room someone was willing to rent out above a bar. It was going pretty good, the lady who rant this joint was even willing to hire Taako as seasonal work in the kitchen. They tended to get busier in the winter months, everyone wanting to stay inside.

It was going fine, and then she turned to Kravitz.

“So, what do you do? Awfully quiet aren’t ya?” she said, and Taako guessed they should have planned for this. People tended to not pay as much attention to Kravitz since they got the disguise down, but it wasn’t like he was fucking invisible. He was in fact a very tall and incredibly handsome man if Taako did say so himself. It was a damn good disguise except for when it came to actually trying to blend in with the background.

“I- um, security?” Kravitz said, sounding like he was guessing more than anything, glancing over at Taako and every fiber of his being screaming ‘help me.' If they weren't actually hiding something it would have been funny. Seeing this this elegant looking motherfucker apparently socially awkward as all hell.

“Yeah, afraid he’s basically useless in a kitchen. Promise you’ll barely notice the guy though. Like you said, quiet as a mouse,” Taako stepped in, and the relief in Kravitz's form when the attention was taken off of him was immediately noticeable. The tavern keeper gave one last glance at him before nodding.

“Alright, as long as you can both pay it don’t matter none to me. So it’s the one room then, single bed?” she asked, and Taako nodded.

“That’ll be perfect,” he said. With that she started rummaging behind the counter, and every time someone opened the door to the tavern a blast of cold came came in. He still had Kravitz’s cloak hung around his shoulders, but he had a feeling that wasn’t going to last too much longer. After a moment she handed Taako a key.

“You two can get yourselves comfortable then. I expect to see you down here tomorrow morning, seven o’clock, but until then feel free to get some rest,” she said. Taako smiled as he took the key, glad to have a base of operation and at least some income secured for the next month or so.

“Thanks a bunch, catch ya bright and early,” he said, turning and heading up to the room. Kravitz followed at his heels, obviously eager to get away from anyone who might try and talk to him. As soon as they found the right room they headed in, Kravitz quickly shutting the door behind them.

“Alright, I think that went well!” Taako said, and for once he wasn’t being sarcastic.

“Did we have to pick a place quite so… popular?” Kravitz said, and Taako grinned. Maybe it was a little mean, but it was funny being the one who was actually more comfortable with people for a change.

“Of course, more popular means I’ll get more money for work, which means I’ll be able to afford more supplies for my spells. That’ll make it a lot easier to try out some new options on how to break your little charm, ya know?” he said, and he could see that Kravitz wanted to argue with him but really couldn’t.

“We are at Neverwinter and inside. May I have my cloak back now?” he asked, and Taako pouted a little but started undoing the clasp without any arguing.

“Ugh, yeah fine. Too bleak for me anyway,” he said, holding it out for Kravitz to take. He looked vaguely annoyed by that, but didn’t hesitate in grabbing the cloak from him.  _ “Shit!” _ Taako yelped, pulling his hand back when Kravitz’s metal one brushed against it.

“What’s wrong? Are you hurt?” Kravitz asked, immediately scanning around them for any sort of danger. Which, shit right. Taako quickly shook his head, trying not to look embarrassed.

“No, jeezy crisps that’s a cold one. I just forgot with the illusion, your hands are like ice cubes,” he explained, and he could see Kravitz relax some at that. Then his head cocked to the side, a curious look on his fake face.

“So, you are not injured in any way?” he asked, and Taako shook his head.

“No, you’re just made out of metal. Metal gets fucking freezing out in the cold, and I forgot your hands are bigger than they look, so I wasn’t expecting to touch them,” he explained. Kravitz seemed to think that over for a moment before coming to some sort of conclusion.

“Alright. This is good to know,” he said. Taako shrugged at that, turning back towards the bed as Kravitz put his cloak back on. Lying down on his stomach, it would have been kind of a tight fit if Kravitz actually slept, so they were lucky in that regard.

“So since I gotta take on a real job I probably won’t have as much time to dive into the books right away. Luckily we’re gonna be here a while so that shou-aaak!” Taako squawked, jumping away when what felt like ice-cubes brushed against the back of his neck. Flipping around Kravitz was standing above him, pulling his hand back with a downright smug look on his face.

“I wanted to see if my hands were still cold,” he said, and Taako couldn’t be sure if that was a lie, but Kravitz wasn’t the best as hiding his expressions. Really, he wasn’t even sure how his illusion managed to have expressions, but he wasn’t going to question magic. That just fucked everything up.

“Well, they are. They’ll probably be for a while. It’s not exactly broiling hot in here, not a lot to warm them up,” he huffed. Kravitz nodded, like this was all very intriguing. 

“You said this reaction was due to surprise, correct? Will you not have the same reaction if you know I’m going to touch you?” Kravitz asked, reaching forward again. Taako tried to scramble away, not actually managing to get anywhere since the bed was up against the wall and Kravitz was standing in front of him.

“Oh no, no, no! Don’t you dare you- eek! Mother _ fucker!”  _ he snapped, yelping when Kravitz’s freezing hands came into contact with bare skin. It wasn’t too bad when he was only touching his arms, but then Taako tried to kick him away and suddenly a cold hand was brushing up against his side under his shirt and Taako outright  _ squeaked. _

“I thought you were supposed to protect me you asshole!” Taako huffed, finally managing to move around Kravitz, rolling off the end of the bed to run away from him into a nearby corner. Thankfully the construct didn’t seem too interested in giving chase.

“You said that it did not cause you any harm. Was that wrong?” he asked, and Taako pouted at that.

“I mean, no. You’re not gonna kill me with ice fingers, still a dick move though,” he grumbled. As soon as Kravitz moved away from the bed he headed back over, grabbing a blanket and wrapping it tightly around himself for show.

“I thought it was pretty funny,” Kravitz said, and Taako rolled his eyes.

“You’re hilarious,” he said, sarcasm dripping from his words. It didn’t seem to bother Kravitz any, who was still grinning. Even with the shadow of shivers down his sides from his cold, very much not alive hands, it was hard as fuck not to see a real person when looking at him now. “I don’t know why you have so much trouble around other people, really. You already know how to act like a person,” he said, and that smile dropped from Kravitz’s face, replaced with a look of confusion.

“Request for clarification?” he asked, and Taako shrugged, still wrapped up firmly in his blanket.

“Like, you get all freaked out and clam up when you gotta talk to other people, which I mean, I guess if it’s an anxiety thing that’s alright. Can constructs get anxiety?” he asked, just receiving a befuddled look from Kravitz, so he continued. “When you’re not freaking out or in uppity guard mode though you act just like a person. Honestly it’s hard to remember that you’re not sometimes, it’s a little freaky,” he said.

Kravitz was quiet for a long time, and when Taako finally chanced a glance over at him it was hard to read his expression.

“I am not a person Taako. It is for the best that you do not forget this,” he said finally, all of the lightness and humor that had been in his voice before gone now. It shouldn’t bother Taako, because Kravitz was right. He  _ wasn’t _ a person, he didn’t actually have feelings. He was just a bit of magic that someone had decided to give some personality traits to, might as well be a giant, talking familiar.

And yet for some reason it still didn’t sit right in his chest. It didn’t feel like that covered  _ Kravitz. _

“Well, I’m just saying, even if you’re not a person you’re enough of an asshole to pass for one. So maybe stop worrying so much and I don’t know, try and enjoy yourself for once? I know you didn’t get to choose this but we’re stuck for a while. Might as well treat it as a vacation,” he said, and he could see Kravitz wanting to argue with him. For a moment he looked angry, but then whatever he was going to snap seemed to just seep out of him.

“I doubt that all there is to being alive is being an ‘asshole’ as you put it,” he said, and Taako shrugged.

“Maybe not all, but it’s a pretty damn big chunk from what I’ve seen,” he said.

“Of course you would think that,” Kravitz muttered, and Taako wanted to be offended by that. Instead, he just ended up snickering.

“See? You’re a natural,” he said. Once again Kravitz looked like he wanted to argue, but after a moment he let out another sigh. When he didn’t say anything else after a few minutes, Taako closed his eyes. Wrapped up in the blanket, he figured it wouldn’t hurt to take a short mid-day nap. He had to be up early for the new gig tomorrow after all, he deserved it.

He was not quite asleep when a cold, metal hand brushed past his hair to trail up the back of his neck. It wasn’t quite as freezing as before, but Taako still yelped, flinching away before glaring up at Kravitz. His illusion wasn’t smiling quite as brightly as before, but he still managed to look amused.

“I mean, you did just tell me to enjoy myself,” he said, and Taako huffed.

“I take it all back,” he said, not really meaning it. The worst part was he was pretty sure Kravitz could tell.

——

To be perfectly clear, Kravitz still wanted to return home. That desire had not lessened in the slightest. It was still his duty to protect the Queen, the entire purpose for his being. He did not wish to abandon his post, he found fulfillment in his job, he  _ wanted to go back home. _

None of that changed. Even if he was trying to follow Taako’s advice some to ‘let go’ and ‘have fun’ a bit, that didn’t mean he’d suddenly forgotten his life’s purpose.

Besides, trying was quite a bit different from succeeding.

Taako had not been lying about this new position he’d taken up at the bar below their rented room taking up much of his time. Kravitz knew how jobs worked, even if this one was part time it still took up several hours for most days. That meant several hours where Kravitz was stuck, sitting down in the bar, bound by that damn spell to make sure to keep an eye on Taako. Ensure that no one hurt him.

If he could just stay in their room for that time, it wouldn’t have been as bad. Taako insisted that he blended in well enough when he wasn’t ‘freaking out,’ but Kravitz didn’t believe that very much. From what he could observe from other people, sitting for hours alone, in a food and drinks establishment without consuming a single thing every day wasn’t normal.

The first few days had been alright enough. When he sat in the back corner he could see through the door back to the kitchen, catching glimpses of Taako often enough that he could force himself to keep his distance. None of the other patrons attempted to talk to him, and after a quick, mumbled assurance that he was waiting for Taako the staff mostly left him alone as well.

Every so often Taako would stop by his table. Mostly to check that he wasn’t losing his mind and to give him updates on how much longer it would be until he was free.

And then after what felt like an eternity Taako’s shift would finally end. Most days they headed to the library afterwards. After sitting for several hours straining to see Taako through a door, the thought of getting some books to pass the time was a godsend. If Taako snickered at him perusing the romance section for anything that looked remotely interesting Kravitz ignored him. By the end of their first trip they both had several books of interest to them, and while Taako’s were more practically useful his would at least help to pass the time.

After that he was able to spend most of Taako’s shift reading, glancing off often enough to ensure that Taako was still out of harm’s way. With some repetition it became enough of a routine that he barely noticed he was doing it. Read a few sentences, check on Taako, read, Taako, read, so on and so forth.

Everyone else seemed content to leave him alone, and it was bearable enough.

For about a week, things were in a comfortable routine.

“Can I get you something to drink handsome?” Taako asked, coming up to his table with a wink. Kravitz had seen him coming, so he wasn’t surprised by the question. He supposed if it kept the other workers from coming over and attempting to talk to him, he didn’t mind it.

“Thank you but I think I’m good,” he said. It was still hard for him to tell what his illusion was doing without a mirror in front of him, but if he had to take a guess he was fairly certain he was smiling.

Even though he was still pretty shit at interacting with most people, talking to Taako was… easier. It helped that he knew what he was and more importantly, he knew what he wasn’t. There was no reason to fear that Taako would notice that he wasn’t breathing, that he didn’t have a heart to beat. If Taako ended up accidentally brushing him, Kravitz was just amused at watching him yelp from the cold.

“I’m gonna be in the back doing dishes for a bit. Think that book can hold your attention for ten minutes?” he asked, and they really had been testing the limits of what sort of separation the spell would allow. It was better if Kravitz could hear Taako and be assured he was fine, even if he couldn’t see him. The tavern was typically too loud for that though, especially from where he was sitting.

“Walk by the door halfway through and it should be fine,” he said after a moment of thought, and Taako nodded.

“You got it. Just another hour then I’m off for the next two days,” he said, and that certainly was a relief. He really hoped they managed to end the spell before Taako had to take another one of these kinds of jobs.

Kravitz managed to keep his mind distracted enough with his book for about five minutes, like he expected. Looking at the door, he figured Taako would walk by like he assured him he would. Even reading he had been listening, and there had been no shouts or any signs that anything had gone wrong in the kitchen.

The five minute mark passed. And then the sixth, and the seventh. Taako didn’t walk by like he promised he would.

Kravitz did not have full control of his body as he stood up. That protective spell was drowning out all other thoughts, insisting that Taako had missed the signal. Something was wrong. Taako was in danger he needed to protect him.

As he got close to the door he heard Taako’s voice, and the spell he was under broke slightly. He sounded fine, not in any danger. It was enough to keep him from barging into the back room, instead stopping where he was. He couldn’t bring himself to leave, instead moving up against the wall. Hopefully out of the way enough that no one noticed him. Hopefully, if he listened to Taako’s voice for a bit longer he could convince himself, convince the  _ spell,  _ that everything was fine and head back to his seat.

“Okay that’s not- it’s  _ not _ like that,” Taako said, not in danger but clearly feeling something. Flustered maybe, it was hard to say.

“Listen dear, I know you haven’t been here long but I’ve seen my share of possessive men in my time. It don’t ever end well,” the tavern lady who had given them the room and Taako the job on that first day said. Kravitz immediately felt lost, no idea what they were talking about. He supposed it wasn’t any of his business, he was only trying to reassure himself that Taako was safe so that he could sit back down.

“Possessive? He’s not- I really don’t know what you’re talking about,” Taako insisted.

“You have been working here a week now and he has not let you out of his sight once. Listen, if you need help we can-” the tavern keeper started, and Kravitz suddenly had the sinking realization of who they were talking about. He still didn’t quite understand the conversation, but he knew something had gone wrong. Someone had noticed.

“I don’t. Look, I really appreciate it, but cha’ boy’s good,” Taako insisted, and the blaring inside of Kravitz’s head to ensure Taako’s safety had stopped at this point. He was sure he could head back to his seat now without any trouble. He should head back to his seat now, before someone noticed and things got even worse.

“In that case perhaps he can stay up in your room for the rest of your shift, if he’s not gonna order anything,” she insisted, and Kravitz was having a hard time not panicking at this point. He wondered if Taako was right about constructs being capable of having anxiety. It seemed unfair if that was the case.

“That’s not- shit. Okay, listen, I’m the one asking him to stay down here and like, keep an eye on me,” Taako said, a tone to his voice that Kravitz wasn’t used to. He almost sounded scared. It was hard to tell if it was real or not. “I uh, lost my sister a little while ago. Mugging gone wrong, all kinds of bullshit. I woulda died too if it wasn’t for Kravitz, so I’ve just been a bit ya know, jumpy since then. It helps to know he’s close,” he finished.

“Oh, I’m so sorry dear,” she said, and from what Kravitz could tell she sounded genuinely remorseful.

“It’s chill, I appreciate the attempt. Gotta say I hadn’t actually thought about how it looks to someone else,” Taako said, and it sounded like they were wrapping up the conversation now. As fast as he could without being too loud Kravitz headed back to his seat.

He was only sitting for a few seconds when Taako came out from the back, and Kravitz wasn’t the best at facial expressions. He was fairly sure he looked relieved at the sight of him though, quickly covering it up with his usual smile as he headed over.

“Sorry about that, got held up a little,” he said, his voice a bit quieter than typical.

“I know,” Kravitz said, getting a confused look from Taako. “We can discuss it later,” he said, because Taako had said a few times that he could not stand around and talk for very long while working. This seemed like the kind of thing that was better discussed in private anyway. Taako nodded, apparently willing enough to accept that for the moment.

It was a relief when Taako spent the last remaining bit of his shift in the front of the store, and Kravitz was able to mostly focus on finishing his book. As soon as he finished with work Taako grabbed his wrist, pulling him up to their room. Usually they went to the library after work, but Kravitz definitely understood the need to talk right now over that.

“Okay so, some  _ small _ unexpected complications. We’re gonna have to get a better cover story if I ever need to get another job so that you don’t look like a creepy as fuck stalker,” Taako said, and Kravitz nodded.

“When you did not appear within the allotted time the charm compelled me to check on your safety. I overheard the conversation you’d had as a result,” he explained, and thankfully Taako did not seem too upset by that. He would have no reason to be, it was not as if Kravitz had chose to listen to him.

He had stayed longer than he might have strictly needed to, but Taako did not need to know that.

“Yeah, that’s not a great look. I made up some story that should give us a pass here, but yeah we should be smarter next time. I swear she was a hair away from throwing you out herself,” Taako said, and Kravitz would not have been surprised if that was the case. The tavern keeper had not sounded happy. He’d been surprised that Taako had actually managed to talk her down.

“Is it best to stay here for the remainder of winter as planned? Or shall we move?” he asked, and Taako seemed to think the question over for a moment.

“I think we’re good to stay. We’re gonna be hanging around Neverwinter no matter what, and at least here we’ve got a cover now. Like I said they shouldn’t question it,” he said, and Kravitz supposed that was fair enough.

There were a few things eating at him about the story that Taako had fabricated though.

“It did not seem to be entirely fictional,” he said, getting a confused expression from the elf. “The story you gave, you had been mugged and I did protect you, even if not of my own volition,” he said, and that seemed to make it click in Taako’s head.

“Oh yeah, that. It’s easier to remember a lie if you’re just putting a spin on the truth, ya know?” he said, and Kravitz wasn’t sure if he did but it made sense at least. He’d never had to lie much, not ever before Taako had taken him from his post.

“You said that you lost your sister,” he said, and immediately Taako stiffened. Even if Kravitz knew next to nothing about body language, he could tell that the elf was not comfortable. It would have been best if he let it drop, but he’d already started. “Was her death a part of the ruse as well?” he asked.

“Of course it was!” Taako shouted immediately, only seeming to register the outburst afterwards. Kravitz watched as he took a deep breath, seeming to try and bring his anger back under control as he continued. “Of course it was a lie. Lup’s alive, I just- we just got separated is all. I don’t know where she is but I’m going to find her,” he insisted.

“I apologize if I offended you in any way. I was simply hoping to… get our story straight,” he said, not entirely sure if he was using the saying correctly. Considering the fact that Taako did not laugh at him, he supposed he’d done well enough. Instead the elf sighed, shrugging after a moment.

“It’s chill. Just don’t want you getting the wrong idea,” he said, and Kravitz nodded. That should have been the end of it. It was clear that Taako was not in the mood to discuss much else, and the other question Kravitz had in mind was not very important. He could have just let it slide.

Except of course he could not stop thinking about it.

“There is one other question I would like to ask about the conversation you had,” he said finally. Taako sighed, a distinctly annoyed tone to his voice. Despite that he didn’t refuse, heading over to the bed and flopping down on his back.

“Oh yeah, and what’s that?” he asked, and Kravitz could tell he was trying not to sound as annoyed as he was. Still, even if it was an irritated permission, it was permission enough to ask his question.

“Why- several details of the conversation seemed to imply that the people here view us as a romantic couple. Why is that?” he asked, and at least Taako did not get angry at this question. Instead he burst out laughing, rolling onto his side to better look at Kravitz.

He knew his illusion was still up, it would be for several more hours. Kravitz almost wished it wasn’t though, he didn’t like how easily it showed his emotions for others to see. He felt very flustered at this topic, and did not appreciate that Taako could see that.

“Uh, maybe because we’re sharing one very small room with only one bed? And we’re literally always together? And we’re both very, very good looking. You’re welcome for that one by the way,” Taako said, and when he explained it like that Kravitz supposed it made sense.

“This is my design,” Kravitz muttered about his appearance. Sure it was Taako’s magic but still, he had chosen this look. Taako nodded, not appearing too bothered. At least he seemed to be in a better mood now.

“Yeah yeah, it was a very good base to start with. Anyway that’s why people think that. I figured it’s easier to go along with it than having to come up with some other explanation,” he said, which also made a lot of sense. If there was something to keep people from questioning them it was best to just let it be. When he didn’t say anything after a moment Taako looked over at him, appearing somewhat concerned. “Is that uh, cool with you? I didn’t really think about it, figured with all your romance novels it wouldn’t be an issue,” he asked, and Kravitz quickly nodded.

“As long as you do not ask me to enact anything from my novels I believe this is an acceptable explanation to give others,” he said, and Taako nodded at that.

“Yeah no, the most might be holding your hand, and trust me I get the short end of that deal,” he said, and Kravitz couldn’t help but feel amused at that.

“Perhaps we should engage in physical contact in public more frequently. To ensure the ruse is believable,” he teased.

“Don’t you fucking dare. Try it and I’m loudly breaking up with you in front of everyone. Try and make a believable ruse after  _ that,” _ he huffed. It was all a little ridiculous, but everything about Taako was a little ridiculous.

And despite himself, Kravitz couldn’t help but laugh.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> so this was not the fic i had planned to spend the majority of this camp nano working on but that's what happened. I've got quite a big backlog now so i'm real excited to be able to keep up a schedule for the foreseeable future. Maybe this'll be the fic I manage to update consistently all the way through (starting with last chapter of course). 
> 
> as always, thanks for reading and I hope you enjoyed!


	10. Alternative Methods

Taako felt like things had fallen into a comfortable enough pattern as they stayed in Neverwinter. After that whole issue with the owner being suspicious of Kravitz at first it thankfully didn’t come up again. He was allowed to sit in the corner, looking all broody as he read his bad romance novels and waited for Taako to get done with his shift.

With that out of the way things were fine. Taako liked the job well enough. He didn’t get to show off as much as when he did Sizzle it Up, and he honestly couldn’t be in the back cooking much at all without Kravitz’s spell throwing a fit. Still, he liked being around food, even if serving was his least favorite aspect, it was fine enough to get by. Made enough money that they would be able to get through the winter without too much issue at any rate.

The other nice thing was that his hours weren’t all that bad. Sure, it meant he didn’t get paid as much as if he was working full time, but he got the busiest parts of the day so the tips were good, and they were getting a deal on the room. The lax hours meant he had plenty of time to spend in the library, trying to figure out some way to break the spell on Kravitz.

Taako had told him they needed to start looking into some possible alternative methods. He’d tried just about everything he could think of that removed spells traditionally, and so far nothing had worked. It was starting to feel less like a spell he’d royally fucked up, and more like a curse.

And curses were a whole other kettle of fish.

Taako didn’t know a lot about curses. The good thing about Kravitz being a construct who couldn’t do magic though was that he long since stopped paying much attention to the stuff he looked into when they were in the library. He usually just perused around them until he found some fiction books that interested him and hung out until Taako tried to explain something he felt might have a chance at fixing this.

So Taako was able to maybe look into some shit about curses without Kravitz hovering over his shoulder. The only issue was that there wasn’t a lot on that kind of magic in your regular, good natured neighborhood library. Anything that wasn’t a general restoration spell wasn’t something anyone wanted to talk about. 

But restoration spells didn’t work, which meant Taako needed to keep researching.

He was pretty damn sure that Kravitz wasn’t going to be happy about the kind of research he needed to do though.

“So uh, I’ve been thinking,” he said one night. He’d started taking his dinner up to their room, so that it didn’t look as weird when Kravitz wasn’t eating. He was sure people had noticed by now, but thankfully no one had bothered to ask them about it. Kravitz for once wasn’t standing at attention by the door. Instead he was sitting down in a chair that was in the corner. He was still keeping a good look over the room, but apparently even he got tired of standing at some point. That point just happened to be after several months of standing instead of a sane amount of time.

“About what?” Kravitz asked, and it was hard to tell if he actually sounded interested or not, since the illusion was down right now. Either way, he probably would be soon enough.

“Remember how I said we might need to start looking into some alternative methods to remove the spell?” he asked, and Kravitz nodded. Taako stuffed a large scoop of rice into his mouth, mostly because he was hungry but also to maybe delay having to talk about this too much.

“I remember. Did you find a route you would like to take?” Kravitz prompted after a moment. Taako shrugged a little noncommittally, since it wasn’t like he was all that sure about this anyway.

“I might have, but you’re not gonna like it,” he said, figuring it was best to get that out of the way. Kravitz’s head cocked to the side slightly, obviously a little confused.

“At this point I am willing to try just about anything to remove this charm,” he said, and Taako wasn’t sure how true that was. Still, might as well rip the band-aid off.

“If you say so then alright. I think we might need to stop looking at this as a spell and start looking at it as a curse,” he said, and he could see Kravitz’s stance straighten up at that, immediately on edge.

“A curse? Taako what-” he started, but he didn’t let him finish that thought.

“And if it’s a curse, we need to treat it like one. So I need to know how curses work-”

“That isn’t the kind of magic we should be-”

"It's just some research, I can't get rid of something if I have no clue how it works," Taako argued, and Kravitz stood to his full height now. Taako was worried this wouldn't go over well, but he didn't expect him to get this mad right off the bat.

“Absolutely not! I will not allow you to slip into dark magic,” Kravitz insisted, and it was weird. It shouldn’t be, because Taako knew his opinions on the matter. The dude obviously hated necromancy and all that junk, so he knew he would object to the idea when he brought it up. That wasn’t the weird part.

What was strange was that Taako hadn’t noticed the shift before. He hadn’t realized how relaxed Kravitz had gotten, even when the illusion wasn’t there and he was just a construct. He’d only noticed once it was suddenly all gone, Kravitz back to a rigid, unreadable sentinel. He couldn't say he was a fan.

“If we don’t then we might never be able to break the spell,” Taako said, trying to make Kravitz see reason. He knew that he could now, as much as he insisted he wasn’t a person he could sure as hell be swayed like one. This big, unmovable guard act wasn't going to fool him.

Kravitz was quiet for a long time, and it was weird, not being able to tell what he was thinking at all anymore.

“Then I suppose we simply won’t break it,” he said finally. Taako stood up now, not remembering the plate on his lap until it fell, a loud crash as it spilled food all over the place. He couldn't give half a shit at the moment though.

“What the fuck?! Hell no, I’ve put too much work into this to just give up,” he argued. He knew there had to be a way to free Kravitz, and yeah, maybe he didn’t hate having the guy around all the time. Sure it made some things annoying, was frustrating at times, but Taako could admit there was definitely something nice about not being alone all the time.

Kravitz wanted to go home though. He knew that, and Taako wasn’t one to care if his actions hurt other people all that much, but he wasn’t usually forced to stick around with the consequences of his actions either. It was a hell of a lot harder to ignore when the dude had to follow him everywhere he went. So he had to fix this.

“You  _ have _ a soul Taako. I will not allow you to lose it in order to save me,” Kravitz said, a conviction there that Taako hadn’t expected. For a long moment he couldn’t really say anything, until finally he sighed. He tried to meet Kravitz's eyes as best as he could, not wanting to back down from this.

“Listen, I’m not gonna lose my soul, alright big guy? I don’t have any interest in any necromancy junk. I just need to know how it works so that I can figure out a way to undo this spell. Nothing else,” he said, speaking softer than he usually did. It was still hard to tell what Kravitz was thinking, but some of that rigid insistence had lessened some. “Your Queen must allow some sort of research into necromancy, right? How else would you know how to fight it,” he tried when Kravitz remained silent.

“You are not incorrect,” Kravitz said after a moment, sounding conflicted. “The Queen does possess arcane tomes that are necrotic in nature. It is dangerous knowledge that must be kept out of the wrong hands.” Taako nodded, relieved that they were getting somewhere with this.

“Right, and have I done anything to make you think I’m after some dark magic bullshit?” he asked, and Kravitz shook his head.

“No, you-” he paused, letting out a frustrated sigh. “Despite everything, you have proven yourself much more competent and trustworthy than I had ever imagined,” he said, and the reluctance in his voice made Taako laugh.

“Careful there with the compliments, might make someone think you actually like me. Instead of ya know, just not hating me,” he said, and he didn’t mean to sound that bitter, especially since he didn’t give a shit what Kravitz thought of him. They weren’t friends. They barely tolerated each other most of the time.

To his surprise, Kravitz actually sat back down. There was definitely a small, surreal moment where Taako actually had to look  _ down _ at him, before he quickly sat as well. It was probably a good thing he didn’t have his disguise on at the moment, or else Taako might have actually forgotten he wasn’t a person.

He wondered if it would actually be that bad, to forget that little fact.

“Do whatever you think is best. You are the one that understands magic,” he said quietly after a moment. Taako raised an eyebrow at that, not expecting him to give in that quickly.

“Really?” he asked, and Kravitz nodded.

“Yes. As you said, you’ve proven yourself competent in this regard, and I have no reason to suspect you of necromancy. If you believe that research into these topics will provide you with the insight to remove the spell, then I will not stand in your way,” he said. Taako let out a breath he didn’t realize he was holding at that, and he wasn’t sure why he’d been worried about this. It wasn’t like Kravitz could actually stop him. He couldn’t do anything to put him in danger.

“Cool. I’ll look into finding some leads on where we can get some information tomorrow then,” he said, and Kravitz nodded. Looking down at the shattered plate and half his dinner, he would have to clean that up sooner or later. He guessed Kravitz was looking at it too, although it was hard to tell with the gems for eyes. Still, he spoke up after a moment, standing again.

"I will fetch you some more dinner," he said, and Taako hesitated before nodding, casting the illusion back on him. Kravitz didn't say anything else as he left the room, and it was quiet as he sat alone.

For some reason, the silence felt suffocating. It should be fine, Kravitz agreed to his plan. Who cared if he got pissy at first? Taako expected him to put up a fight. Hell, this actually went way better than he was anticipating.

He had come to any sort of solution when Kravitz returned, handing him his food without another word. When he started cleaning up the glass and old rice Taako didn't stop him, eating the new dish.

“Taako?” Kravitz asked, thankfully breaking the silence.

“Sup?” Taako asked back, not bothering to look over at him.

“Just… promise me you will be careful. Even though you have been nothing but trouble for me, for some reason beyond logic I do not actually wish to see you hurt,” Kravitz said, and Taako smirked at that. Smirking was easier than smiling.

“Kinda sounds like you care about me my dude,” he teased.

“I am fairly certain I have lost my mind being out here for so long,” Kravitz said, a light tone to his voice despite that. Taako nodded emphatically, shoveling the rest of his food into his mouth before speaking again.

“Yeah, that’s being alive for you,” he said, and Kravitz froze for a moment. Taako was a little worried that he was going to start arguing again, but instead after a long pause he shrugged.

“You would know better than me.”

—

Kravitz truly did feel as if he was losing his mind.

He should not have agreed to Taako’s plan. This wasn’t like the other things he had let slide, the things he had done himself that he knew weren’t exactly allowed. He had not picked Taako up and returned him to the castle immediately because the spell would not allow him. That was no fault of his own. It was easier to go along with his attempts to free him than trying to find some workaround in the protection spell to bring him back to the castle. He did not want to end up having to fight any fellow guards, even if they never talked to each other much. He didn’t want to have to fight against his Queen.

This was more than some petty thievery, although honestly Kravitz shouldn’t have even let himself get that far. He told himself that he did not mean to leave the books in his bag whenever they left a town. That he simply did not have the time to return them to the library.

Except of course he wasn’t forgetting to return the books he didn’t enjoy. Only his favorites ended up slipped into his bag and left until they had moved on to another town. He didn’t have a very good excuse for that, except for a desire to alleviate his boredom. He told himself that at least no one was harmed by these actions.

Allowing Taako to look into dark magic though, curses and necromancy and destruction, it should not have ever been an option. His Queen had rules, and even if he was no longer under her service, he still had to abide by her laws.

But not only had he agreed, the fact that he was going directly against one of his Queen’s core tenants wasn’t even the thing he feared the most out of all of this.

He was worried about Taako. About his safety. It had been impossible to tell if the immediate panic he’d felt at the suggestion was the spell going off, alerted by Kravitz’s knowledge of how dangerous these kinds of magic could be, or if it was his own fear.

The next day Taako did not have to work down in the tavern. Usually Kravitz found himself looking forward to his days off. It meant not having to sit down, avoiding conversation with other people as he tried to read and keep an eye on the elf. It meant not having to be so keenly aware of the way everyone else here perceived them every time Taako walked over to his booth grinning. He wasn’t even sure why that particular thing bothered him.  _ How _ it bothered him. Was it even bothering him? He didn’t know.

The point was that normally days where Taako didn’t work were nice, because they were days where he could get away from all of that. Today didn’t offer any of that relief though, because instead of spending their time at the library in comfortable silence, Taako wanted to begin his new research.

Of course, to do that they needed to find out where to even start looking. Neverwinter was a large city, there was no doubt that it had an underbelly. The problem would be in finding it and gaining entry without raising suspicion.

Taako appeared confident as he got dressed for the day. The clothes he wore were more muted than his normal attire, and not anywhere near as flashy as the ones he wore for his show. A simple white top with black pants, and a long dark blue cloak over top with a matching hat. The clothes looked older, with patches here and there where it had worn through.

Taako turned towards him, his wand held up to cast the disguise spell when he suddenly stopped, a conflicted expression on his face.

“Is there an issue?” he asked, and his voice was a little more stilted than usual. Taako knew he wasn’t a fan of this plan though, so he ignored it.

“No, no, it’s just uh, I know you like your fancy clothes, but we’re gonna be going to some decidedly unfancy places,” Taako said, and Kravitz sighed.

“You are free to adjust my clothing however you feel will blend in with the situation the best,” he said, and Taako nodded. When he cast the spell Kravitz didn’t feel any different, but he never did. Glancing over at the mirror, the physical appearance he chose was still the same. Instead of golden beads in his hair there were painted wooden ones, and his clothes were still dark, but not the neat suit Taako usually gave him. Instead under his feathered cloak he wore a black jacket made of worn leather, simple dark pants and tall working boots.

“Well shit, what’s the opposite of you clean up nice? You dress down real fine,” Taako said, and Kravitz tried not to be flustered by the joke. The smile on Taako’s face dipped a little as he seemed to realize something. “Oh yeah. You uh, you should probably ditch the cloak my guy,” he added, and Kravitz’s illusion winced. He didn’t argue though, quickly unclasping the robe and resting it over the back of a chair.

“Is this sufficient?” he asked and Taako nodded.

“Yeah, let’s get moving,” he said, and with that they started out of the room. Thankfully no one tried talking to them as they made their way through the tavern to head out onto the street. Kravitz supposed he was not doing a very good job of concealing his feelings on this, because after a few moments of walking Taako glanced over at him.

“You feeling okay my dude?” he asked, and Kravitz wasn’t always the best at controlling the illusion’s face expressions consciously, but he could roll his eyes when he wanted to.

“I believe you are already aware of my reservations towards this new plan of yours,” he said, and Taako let out a sigh.

“Krav, it’s gonna be fine,” he insisted. Kravitz supposed that he was probably right, if for no other reason than Kravitz did not doubt in his own abilities to protect Taako’s life, especially with the spell keeping the thought at the forefront of his mind.

And yet for some reason he was still worried.

Not giving himself much time to think it over, Kravitz reached out and grabbed Taako’s hand. The elf nearly stumbled at the sudden contact, but he didn’t yelp and try to push him away as he usually did when Kravitz touched him with his cold hands.

“Pardonne moi?” Taako asked, raising an eyebrow at him but otherwise not pulling away or pausing as they walked.

“We are heading into a dangerous situation which may result in you directly talking to several necromancers. I do not have any intention of letting you out of my reach for your own protection,” he explained, trying to keep his reasoning as sensible as possible. The fact that he had to try was more evidence that he was losing it. Perhaps being away from his queen for so long did have some negative effects on his being. She had created him after all, he would not have been surprised if she’d been maintaining his sanity without him even realizing it.

“Oh right, protection spell thing is probably going crazy right now I guess, huh?” Taako said, and Kravitz simply nodded. He figured it wasn’t a lie if he himself wasn’t sure of what was true or not.

“Also,” he started, feeling a bit more hesitant to bring this one up. It was one of those things he liked to try and forget about when they weren’t at the tavern. “You have expressed before difficulty in gathering information with me around because I look like a… nark, I believe it was? And that suspicion is alleviated somewhat when it appears to others that we are dating,” he finished.

He supposed it was a relief that Taako was not nearly as bothered by the idea as Kravitz was. He let out a snort of amusement, smiling as he nodded.

“Shit yeah, good thinking. You already look like you’re about to stab the first person who looks at you wrong. Hey though, maybe we can use that to our advantage,” Taako said, going so far as he start swinging their clasped hands back and forth.

“You seem to be enjoying yourself,” he grumbled, and Taako nodded.

“Hell yeah, we got a whole good cop bad cop thing going on. Trust me, it’s gonna be fine,” he said, and Kravitz wanted to argue with that.

He couldn’t though, because for some reason that was beyond Kravitz, he did trust him.

When they finally got to the store Taako had dragged them to, it seemed like that was a good decision. Kravitz honestly could not tell much difference between this shop and any other on the block. They were in a rougher part of town, all of them seemed a bit run down, a little unseemly.

Kravitz was trying not to be too noticeable as he scanned the store, which seemed empty other than them and the man sitting behind the counter, who kept glancing over at the every so often. Even if Kravitz wasn’t sure how well he was doing in that regard Taako was a natural. He pulled him along to different items with ease, asking his opinion on certain things as if they were actually shopping. Most of the items in the store were arcane in nature, so Kravitz had no idea what a lot of it was for or what it did. Mostly he just rambled off vaguely positive things while trying not to sound too out of place.

After what felt like an eternity Taako had picked up some spell components and headed up to the counter.

“Just these for now,” Taako said, and the man nodded, starting to ring up the purchase. “Hey, so we’re kinda new in town. Was wondering if you knew any good places to look for some specialty items,” he added, and he was leaning up on the counter now. The hand that Kravitz wasn’t holding tapping the wood before drawing a quick symbol with his finger. The man barely glanced down at it before shrugging.

“Yeah, there’s a couple places, depends on what you’re looking for. What’s your school?” he asked, starting to bag the items. “That’ll be twelve gold,” he added.

“Transmutation,” Taako said, taking a moment to grab the money without letting go of Kravitz’s hand. Or well, more like Kravitz was the one not letting go, but details. “And enchantment,” he added, placing the gold down before making some other symbol Kravitz couldn’t identify. The shopkeeper nodded, taking the gold before writing up a receipt.

“Richardson’s down on Eighth or The Temptress on Melbourne might have what you’re looking for,” he said, handing the paper to Taako. “But your best bet is probably the Red Grove,” he added, and this time he made some sort of shape with his hand. Taako grinned widely, taking the bag and receipt before nodding.

“Thanks a bunch, come on babe,” he said, pulling Kravitz along as they left the shop. He wasn’t sure if Taako had any idea of where they were going as they left, but he started walking into a direction with enough confidence that Kravitz didn’t question it. Once they were a few blocks away he slowed his pace, turning towards Kravitz with a smug smile.

“See, what I tell ya? Now we’ve got a bunch of different places to check out. I say we do that Red Grove place first, seemed the most promising. We can head there tomorrow,” Taako said, and Kravitz could understand why he was excited. They had done what they set out to do after all. He couldn’t quite focus on that though.

“What was that thing you were doing? With your hands?” he asked, doing a poor imitation of it. It seemed to be enough for Taako to get though, starting to lead him down the street again.

Since they apparently weren’t going anywhere else today, it wasn’t pertinent anymore that they continue to hold hands. He figured Taako would let go as soon as he realized. He wasn’t sure why he didn’t just pull away on his own.

“Oh that? Thieves cant,” Taako said, causal as anything. Kravitz stopped in his tracks though, Taako turning back towards him with clear confusion on his face.

“Are you a  _ criminal _ Taako?” he asked, and maybe he shouldn’t have been surprised by that. He was clearly comfortable among rogues and thieves, knew how to navigate that world with ease. Was comfortable lying and stealing. It was honestly strange that Kravitz hadn’t considered it until now.

“We’re not talking about that here,” Taako said after a moment, and he was still acting like everything was fine.

Kravitz was fairly sure he was mad though.

The rest of the walk back to the tavern was silent, and Taako let go of his hand as they went up the stairs. Kravitz couldn’t feel, so the only difference was the force pulling him forward leaving. All the romance novels he read talked about a lingering warmth and a sense of loss when a hand pulled away, but there was none of that here.

As soon as they were in the room Taako closed the door behind them. Kravitz headed over to the chair, a sense of relief in him when he slung his cloak back over his shoulders before turning back towards the elf.

“Are you a criminal, Taako?” he asked again, and yes, Taako was definitely angry at the question.

“What if I am?” he asked back, and Kravitz paused at the question.

“I… don’t know. I can’t exactly arrest you,” he said, because it was true. Technically Taako was a criminal for stealing one of the royal guards, but there wasn’t anything he could do about that.

“Would you? If you could?” Taako pressed, and that should be an easy question. The answer should be a straightforward yes. He didn’t know why it wasn’t.

“I should,” he managed after a moment. It didn’t answer his question, but he couldn’t answer that one and he was too scared to get into the conversation about why with Taako yet. Or maybe ever. That apparently wasn’t the answer Taako was looking for because he huffed in anger, starting to pace around the room.

“You don’t have any idea what it was like, okay? You don’t have to eat, or sleep, or anything! You’ve never had to worry about dying in a ditch somewhere or your feet freezing in the snow because your shoes are full of holes or having to learn how to transmute wood into bread so you don’t starve. You don’t even know what being hungry  _ feels like,” _ Taako snapped. He wasn’t even looking at Kravitz, and maybe that was for the best. He had no idea what his face looked like right now.

“You did what you had to to survive,” he said finally, and Taako nodded sharply.

“Of course I did! I was a  _ kid _ alone on the streets! You do anything you can to survive on your own,” he said, and Kravitz couldn’t help but frown at that.

“You were alone?” he asked, and Taako looked at him incredulously.

“Duh, who else would be there?”

“I had assumed you and Lup were together as children,” he said, hoping that he wasn’t crossing some line. The last thing he wanted to do was make Taako angrier with him. The second he said Lup’s name Taako looked like he’d been slapped.

“What?” he asked, his voice so quiet Kravitz was surprised it registered at all.

“Lup, your sister? Every time you’ve spoke of her you sounded as if you two were close. I had assumed you had spent your childhoods together,” he said, not sure what was going on but trying his best to explain even though this was information Taako should have already known.

“No, no, no, shit,  _ shit,” _ Taako said, repeating the words under his breath as he shook his head. He took a few steps back, collapsing back down on the bed with a look of terror on his face.

“Taako? Taako what is wrong? Please explain the cause of your distress,” Kravitz said, rushing forward. Instead of looming over him he knelt down, trying to get a better look at his face. Taako’s hands were bunched up in his hair, and even though he was looking at Kravitz now there was something off about it. Like he wasn’t truly seeing him.

“I forgot. I straight up fucking  _ forgot her _ Krav. It’s getting worse, damn it! This is taking too  _ long,” _ he said, and his words weren’t making any sense. His hands were still bunched up in his hair, and Kravitz knew that pulling hair was typically painful for living creatures. As carefully as he could he pulled Taako’s hands away, keeping them in his own to prevent him from causing any harm to himself in his distress.

“I’m afraid I still do not understand. What is taking too long?” he asked, his voice soft. Taako closed his eyes, taking a deep shuddering breath before opening them again. This time when he looked at Kravitz his gaze seemed a little more focused, a little more solid, even if he still seemed just as scared.

“It’s… it’s a little confusing. You sure you got the time for me to explain?” Taako asked, and for once Kravitz was glad that his illusion was up so that he could smile at him.

“For you? I think I can clear my schedule,” he joked, feeling pleased when it actually managed to get Taako to laugh.

“Shit…” he said, and his smile was shaky but it was still there. It was a really nice smile. 

If what Taako was saying wasn’t so important, he might have been too distracted by it to actually pay attention.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> so at the end of this camp nano I am 12 chapters ahead in the backlog for this fic and super fucking excited for everyone to see where it's going. For now we're going to be staying on the Saturday update schedule, but if I manage to finish the rest of the fic I might move up to two updates a week, we'll see. 
> 
> As always, thanks for reading and I hope you enjoy


	11. Getting Worse

Taako just needed to focus on something concrete. Something solid to keep himself from freaking out any more than he already was. He felt like he had earned his panic, but it wasn’t exactly productive. If he wanted to find some way to fix this he had to think clearly.

The easiest thing to focus on right now was Kravitz. He’d grabbed Taako’s hands, and Taako could feel the cold metal underneath the illusion and was for once thankful for it. Kravitz couldn’t feel, so he couldn’t tell just how hard Taako was squeezing them in an attempt to keep himself grounded.

“Okay, okay,” Taako said, taking a deep breath as his senses started to come back to him, the blind panic from before easing away some. At least enough that he had to look down at their hands now because staring at Kravitz, so close and looking at him with such genuine concern in his illusioned expression was quickly becoming overwhelming in a whole new way.

“Would it help if I asked questions?” Kravitz asked, and Taako thought that over for a moment before shrugging.

“Maybe, at least to get the ball rolling I guess,” he said with a small shrug. He knew that he wasn’t sounding anywhere near as casual and confident as he normally did, but that didn’t mean he couldn’t still try. Kravitz nodded, and while he thought over what to ask Taako wondered if it was a bad idea that this was happening while Kravitz had his illusion up. The dude kind of wore his heart on his sleeve when he had a face, and Taako was already dealing with one internal crisis. He didn’t want to add another one on top of that.

“You said you forgot someone. Were you talking about Lup?” Kravitz asked, and that was a simple enough question to start off with. Taako nodded, trying to focus on the cool metal of Kravitz’s hands as he forced words to work for him again.

“Yeah, I uh, you know that we were separated. Like, obviously, Lup isn’t here and I’m looking for her,” he started. Chancing a glance up at Kravitz he nodded, listening with obvious interest. “So uh, I never told you how we got separated or why because get this, I don’t fucking remember. I just woke up one day and Lup was gone and something was wrong but fuck if I know what,” he said, and it was weird. He’d never actually told anyone about this before.

He wondered if it was fitting that the first person he felt like he could actually trust with this wasn’t actually a person at all. It was kinda getting real hard to draw the line on what was and wasn’t a person anymore though.

“Do you know where you were when you were separated? Maybe if you go back you can look for some sort of clue,” Kravitz asked, but before he could even finish Taako shook his head.

“I know it was a forest, but other than that it’s uh, real fucking fuzzy. I think I was traveling for almost a week before I could think straight again,” he said, and Kravitz frowned at that. Which was a fair reaction, it was also incredibly frustrating to Taako. When he tried to retrace his steps his brain got all muddled and he was left running in circles.

“It would appear that something or someone has tampered with your memory of these events so that you cannot return, but why would you forget Lup entirely?” Kravitz asked, and even though his voice was soft Taako almost winced at the question. It was something he tried not to think about much, but that probably wasn’t helping things.

“It uh, it’s not just of that night. It’s… almost  _ everything _ with Lup. I know she was real, I’m not fucking delusional or anything like that. I still have  _ some _ memories of her, and there are gaps where I know she’s supposed to be. But I can’t remember what she looked like, or sounded like, or ya know, anything useful,” he said, and it hurt to admit that out loud. Saying it made it real, and he could feel the panic starting to creep back as the reality of the situation set in.

He was forgetting Lup.

“It’s getting worse. I’ve never fucking flat out  _ forgotten _ her like that before. I need to fucking find her before…” he trailed off, not sure he was ready to say that yet. To even think about what might happen if he didn’t find her.

When he looked up at Kravitz again, for once it was almost impossible to tell what he was thinking with his illusion on. Taako’s shoulders started to shake as he let out a bitter laugh.

“You think I’m insane,” he said, a little surprised when Kravitz immediately shook his head.

“I do not think that,” he insisted, taking a moment to gather up his words before continuing. “I just do not understand why, if this mission is so time sensitive, you have not been more active in looking for her in these previous months?” Kravitz asked, and for his part he did sound genuinely confused. Taako shrugged, and at this point he’d been holding the construct’s hands for so long that they had started to warm up. Even though the cold wasn’t there to cut through his panic anymore he didn’t quite bother to let go yet. Something about it still felt grounding.

“I didn’t notice how bad it was getting, it’s kind of hard to notice when you’ve forgotten something, ya know? And we gotta figure out a way to fix you first anyway,” he said, and he didn’t expect Kravitz to look so conflicted at that.

He guessed it made sense though. The dude had already tried to say they should give up on the mission if it meant resorting to necromancy. He didn’t stick by it, but he was more willing to let go of this for Taako’s safety than he ever expected him to be.

Why, Taako had no idea, but it was getting harder and harder to ignore.

“Well now that we are aware of how much the situation has deteriorated I would suggest we put forth a larger effort in locating your sister,” Kravitz said, choosing his words carefully.

“We?” Taako asked, raising an eyebrow. Kravitz nodded, actually looking a little nervous.

“I figure that I might as well help for as long as I’m here. It is not as if I have anything better to do,” he said, and Taako actually snorted at that. Shit.

This might be bad.

“Thanks, I appreciate it,” he said, and Taako wished he wasn’t so fucking good at magic. No fake smile should be able to appear that life-like. “And uh, also just for everything. I know you never signed up to be a part of all this bullshit,” he added, and Kravitz chuckled at that. He didn’t seem to freak out at his own laugh nearly as much anymore, which Taako definitely felt was a good thing. Kravitz deserved to be able to fucking  _ laugh. _

“I tell myself that once I am able to return to my rightful post, I will be able to look back and know for sure that the time I spent out here was far from boring,” he said. Taako was trying not to think about why he had to force himself not to flinch at the mention of Kravitz leaving.

“We still have that Red Grove lead,” he said suddenly, aware he was jumping topics pretty severely. Kravitz looked confused by the leap, but before he could question it Taako continued. “We should check it out tomorrow, after that if you want we can start looking into finding Lup,” he finished, and Kravitz nodded at that.

“That sounds reasonable,” he said, and by now Taako was exhausted. At this point he was totally down for collapsing under a pile of blankets and not moving for the rest of the evening. There was just one problem with that plan.

Kravitz was still holding his hands.

“Okay well, I think I’m gonna knock out for a bit. Fucking beat, you’re lucky you don’t gotta sleep,” he said, and Kravitz nodded a little hesitantly.

“Do you not wish to eat first?” he asked, and Taako shook his head.

“Nah, if I get hungry later I’ll wake up and have a snack or something,” he said, because it was pretty early to actually sleep for the night. He probably would get up and have a midnight snack at some point.

“Alright,” Kravitz said, still not making any sort of effort to move. Taako spent a few long seconds staring at him, the construct slowly looking more and more confused. “Are you… going to sleep?” he asked after a moment.

“I kinda need my hands back dog,” he said, and he could practically see the moment Kravitz realized. He dropped Taako’s hands like they burned him, standing back up and taking a few steps away from the bed for good measure.

“I apologize. I had been concerned about you damaging yourself in your panic,” he said, and that made sense. Taako tried not to look too disappointed as he shrugged, moving to actually lie down now.

“It’s chill. Figure it’s pretty easy to forget when you can’t, ya know, feel touch,” he said, and Kravitz nodded.

“Yes, it is,” he said. Once Taako laid down Kravitz didn’t say anything else, and even though he was exhausted it took Taako a while to actually fall asleep. His brain didn’t want to shut up, and Taako couldn’t even blame it too much for that. He kept thinking about Lup, or at least he was trying to. He was afraid that if he stopped she would slip away again.

But it was hard to think about something he could barely remember. So his mind kept wandering. It kept wandering to Kravitz.

It was kind of bullshit. The first person who seemed to genuinely care about him was basically being forced to by a magic spell.

What was even worse was that Taako was pretty sure that at some point he started actually caring about Kravitz too. He was always insisting that he wasn’t a person, insisted that it was best that Taako not forget that.

It all seemed like bullshit to him though. He couldn’t see any difference between Kravitz and whatever Joe Pasta he ran into on the street, other than the fact that Kravitz was actually a lot more pleasant to be around than most people. He was clearly sentient and had his own opinions and feelings and fears. Hell, sometimes he felt more alive than Taako did.

He could tell that Kravitz was a person. He just hoped he could get  _ him _ to see that before he went back to the palace.

When Taako woke up the next morning he tried to put all the panic and bullshit from yesterday behind him. They had a plan and they were going to stick with it. Or well, they had the beginning of a plan. They were going to the Red Grove and hopefully once they were there they could find some lead on releasing Kravitz from this curse.

“Did the shop keep give any indication about why this store would be our best chance?” Kravitz asked as he ate breakfast. Which right, they had gotten into that fight and then with everything with Lup, he hadn’t actually been able to explain what he’d been doing.

“Oh yeah! That’s what the thieves cant was for,” he said, pausing and looking over to gauge Kravitz’s reaction. His disguise had worn off in the night and Taako hadn’t recast it yet, so he wasn’t quite so easy to read. Still, he didn’t seem to have any reaction to the mention of thieves cant like he had before. “Told him I was in the search for some necromancy stuff. All the big boy evil magic tends to get lumped into necromancy whether it is or not, and that’s the storefront that should deal with that. Even gave me the address in thieves cant, so it’s probably the real deal.”

“We’re going straight into a necromancer’s den?!” Kravitz asked, clearly not thrilled by the idea.

“No, we’re going into like, a necromancer pawn shop. As long as we’re paying customers and don’t make a scene it’ll be fine. These are businessmen,” Taako insisted, and he guessed he couldn’t blame Kravitz too much for scoffing at that. Still, he was fairly certain they would be fine as long as they didn’t draw too much attention to themselves. These types of people liked to keep a low profile for a reason. They weren’t going to fuck themselves over by attacking every customer they got.

“We should be quick. I do not want to put you in danger for any longer than necessary,” Kravitz said, and Taako knew he had every right to be cautious. He still couldn’t help but give him a teasing smile.

“What, you mean we can’t do some window shopping?” he asked, trying to sound as disappointed as possible. It didn’t seem to sway Kravitz in the slightest.

“With necromancers? No,” he said bluntly.

“You’re no fun,” Taako complained, and instead of braiding his hair he left it down today. It wasn’t much of a disguise, but Kravitz was probably right at taking at least some precautions when going into a place like this.

“I can be fun,” Kravitz muttered, and it was a bit of a struggle for Taako not to grin at that. He managed it though, instead raising an eyebrow in question.

“Oh can you now?”

“Yes,” Kravitz insisted, sounding all offended.

“Like how?” he asked, and Kravitz was quiet for a moment as he seemed to genuinely think the question over.

“We can go window shopping at stores  _ without _ necromancers?” he said, sounding more like a question than anything. Taako burst out laughing at that and Kravitz crossed his arms, doing his best attempt at pouting with just a big metal skull for a face. “I do not see what is so amusing about this suggestion,” he grumbled.

“Nothing, you’re just cute,” he said, the words coming out before he could think about them. Kravitz didn’t respond for a moment, and Taako quickly busied himself with picking out his hat. Not that it was hard, it was the same dingy old one he wore yesterday, to keep from standing out too much.

“Is this in addition to being creepy? Or has it replaced it?” Kravitz asked when the silence was starting to feel real suffocating. It sounded enough like a joke that Taako managed to grin.

“Addition, you got a pretty good handle on multitasking skeletor,” he said, casting the disguise spell onto Kravitz afterwards. He chose the same roguish outfit he’d put him in yesterday to help them blend in more, which Kravitz didn’t seem to mind. With that they headed out, once they were outside Taako paused, thinking Kravitz's earlier suggestion over for a moment. “Actually, let’s do that,” he said, turning away from the direction he had been planning to go. Kravitz followed along, looking more than a bit confused.

“Do what?” he asked, easily keeping pace with him. Even in the regular old clothes Taako had conjured for the illusion he managed to have an air of authority, almost regal as he walked. That was something they would have to work on if they were going to keep visiting some less than scrupulous places.

“Some non-necromantic window shopping. It’s been a while since I’ve got myself something pretty,” he said, getting an amused look from Kravitz at that.

“Are you sure? I was under the impression that this mission was a bit time sensitive,” he said, and Taako couldn’t help but frown a little at that. He’d been trying not to think about it, even though he was pretty sure ignoring it was the opposite of a good idea. Kravitz was right though, they had a time limit, and Taako had no idea how long it actually was.

Despite that he nodded, because it was just a few hours. Then they could go to the necromancers and hopefully find a way to release Kravitz. After that Taako could start looking for Lup on his own. Sure, Kravitz said he would help out while he was around, but he had no reason to stay once he was free.

“There’s always time for a little shopping. Have you ever even been shopping before? Like  _ really _ shopping?” he asked, and at least Kravitz looked more amused than annoyed or anything. Really, he was probably just happy about getting to put off the whole deal for a little bit longer.

“I have been to the store with you for supplies,” he said, and Taako made a face at that.

“Bzzzt! Nope, wrong answer bud. Yeah, this definitely takes priority right now,” he said, actually getting an amused chuckle from Kravitz in return. It was still pretty freaking rare for the dude to laugh, and each time it happened felt a little bit like a victory.

The first store they ended up going to was a clothing store, and Taako only realized the slight error in this when Kravitz pointed it out.

“Um, Taako?” he asked, poking at some shirts hanging up. Taako had already begun searching through for something for himself, and he turned back towards Kravitz.

“Sup?”

“I can’t really… wear clothes?” he said, keeping his voice quieter than usual. That was fair, and it took Taako a moment to remember what he meant. Right, large metal construct.

“You have your cloak,” he argued, and Kravitz nodded.

“I like my cloak,” he said. Taako grinned at that, turning back towards the shirts.

“Right, so you can still do accessories my guy. They got a bunch of stuff like that, just look around until you find something,” he said. Kravitz still didn’t move from his side, looking unsure.

“I do not wish to replace my cloak,” he insisted.

“No one said anything about replace, this is just so you have options,” he said, and Kravitz cocked his head to the side at that.

“Why would I need that? The cloak symbolizes my position under the Queen,” he said, and Taako let out a sigh. Abandoning his own search again, this might be a bit harder than he thought.

“Because it’s fun. The cloak is fine when you’re on the job but don’t you ever want to show your own style?” he asked, receiving a blank look in response. “Okay, what’s your favorite color?” Taako pressed, figuring they could start small.

“Black?” Kravitz said, sounding uncertain.

“Anything else?” Taako asked with a sigh. He thought for a bit longer this time, seeming to take the question a lot more serious than Taako expected.

“Blue I suppose?” he said, still not sounding all that certain, but it was enough for Taako to run with.

“Alright then. Go find something blue or black that you like, doesn’t have to be a cloak, but just whatever. If you need me you should be able to see my hat over the racks,” he said, and Kravitz still looked extremely out of his depths. He nodded though, moving to go pick through the accessories.

Kravitz wasn’t gone for very long, which wasn’t a surprise considering everything. It was a little disappointing when he came back empty handed.

“I did not find anything,” he said.

“Well then go look some more,” Taako said, which wasn’t the answer Kravitz was looking for from his expression.

“Taako I am not sure that this is a good idea,” he said, and Taako couldn’t help but frown at that.

“Why not?” he asked, trying to still sound light. There was no real reason for him to be annoyed or upset after all, it had nothing to do with him.

“Because it’s not-  _ I’m  _ not…” he sighed, and yeah. Even though he was trying his damnedest not to, Taako couldn’t help but get kind of angry as he continued. “I appreciate your efforts Taako, I truly do, but you know as well as I do what I am. I believe it is for the best that we do not forget that,” he said. Taako knew that the only reason he was beating around the bush like this was because they were in public, but what he was trying to say was loud and clear.

Kravitz didn’t believe he was a person.

For some reason, the more he insisted that, the more pissed Taako got.

“What do you like?” Taako asked, maybe a little sharper than he needed to. “Something that doesn’t have anything to do with your duty to the queen or whatever something that’s just you, and  _ don’t _ say romance novels because you’ve already got a bunch of those,” he continued. Kravitz sighed, looking frustrated.

“Taako, that’s-”

“Don’t try and tell me you don’t have anything, I  _ know _ you do,” he insisted, not letting Kravitz dodge the question. He was quiet for a moment before relenting.

“Music. I’ve always enjoyed music,” he said, and Taako grinned at that.

“Alright then. Just gimme a bit to finish up here and then we can go do something that’s more your style, cool?” he said. He could see Kravitz debating on arguing with him, but he must’ve figured it wasn’t worth it, nodding after a moment. Taako didn’t end up shopping for quite as long as he usually would have, but he figured right now finding something for Kravitz was a bit more important. He still ended up grabbing a new outfit before leaving the place, quickly heading out afterwards.

It didn’t take too long to find what he was looking for once they headed out. Not his normal jam, but as they walked into the music shop Taako figured he could dig it.

“Taako, what are we doing here?” Kravitz asked as they walked in, sounding a little put out.

“Getting you something nice. Clothes were obviously a bust, but we’re not stopping until you understand the joys of shopping,” he insisted.

“What, you mean like an instrument?” Kravitz pressed, being very delicate as they started moving further into the store. Taako shrugged, gently tapping a drum as they passed.

“If that’s what you’re feeling, sure. You know how to play anything?” he asked, and Kravitz shook his head. Which considering how he was about having any sort of interest at all wasn’t surprising. “You wanna learn?”

“That’s not- it doesn’t seem very practical,” Kravitz said, and Taako waved that away with ease.

“Not everything has to be practical my guy,” he said, and he could see Kravitz’s will to argue wavering. He kept on glancing around them at the instruments and sheet music before focusing back again, before finally sighing.

“I don’t- why are you doing this Taako?” he asked, and that wasn’t the question Taako was expecting. He hadn’t even thought about the why. It just pissed him off that Kravitz was under some delusion that he didn’t deserve nice things, and he wanted to fix it. Honestly, that was about as much as Taako wanted to think about it.

“I don’t fucking know my dude. We  _ gotta _ be friends at this point, right?” he asked, and Kravitz seemed surprised by that answer. Then he laughed, giving an intentionally casual shrug.

“I suppose, it is a bit easier to think of you as my friend than my capture, although technically both are true,” he said, and Taako huffed at that.

“Never gonna let that one go, huh?” he asked, and Kravitz smiled as he shook his head.

“No,” he said simply. Taako pouted, but for some reason he couldn’t actually be all that upset.

“Whatever, start looking before I change my mind,” he said, and finally Kravitz started to actually inspect the stock around them. He didn’t have much of an idea about what to try at first, other than something portable would be best. Wind was probably a no go, since he didn’t technically have a mouth or actually breathed.

After a while he kept on circling back to a violin. When Taako insisted he just get it, Kravitz frowned, flexing his hand some.

“I’m afraid they might be a bit too large to properly play the notes,” he said, and Taako hummed at that. It was a good point, unfortunately. Thinking for a moment, he had an idea.

“No, no get it I’ve got a plan,” he said. Kravitz seemed uncertain, but at this point Taako grabbed the violin, as well as a bunch of stone picks for guitars. Taking them up to the counter, he paid and tried to ignore just how expensive this shit was. He had saved up a good bit during the time working at the tavern, but he hadn’t exactly planned on spending them on a musical instrument.

Once they were outside, Kravitz turned towards him.

“So, what is this plan of yours?” he asked. Taako kept walking instead of answering him, until he eventually found a bench for them to sit on.

“Okay, give me your hand,” he said. Kravitz did as he was told, and picking up a couple of the stones, Taako squeezed them in his hands, transmuting them as he did. Taking Kravitz’s hand, he molded the stone around one of his fingers, elongating it out into a dull point.

“There, should be small enough that you should have no problem playing,” he said, and Kravitz stared at it for a moment. It looked a little funky, considering he still had the illusion up, but then he nodded.

“Yes, I suppose this would work,” he said, a smile creeping on his face. “Thank you Taako,” he added, taking the stone stub off his finger and placing them into the violin case.

“Hey, what’s the point in having friends and all that,” he said with a shrug.

“I’m not sure that’s how the saying goes,” Kravitz pointed out, but Taako waved that away.

“Details, details,” he said, getting a chuckle from Kravitz. Then it was quiet, and for some reason the quiet was hard to deal with right now. “Anyway, now that that’s out of the way, we probably should get back to finding some way to fix this, right?” he said, standing up from the bench. Kravitz’s smile faded, worry already creeping back into his features.

“Yes, I suppose so,” he said. They ended up stopping back by the tavern on the way, to put Kravitz’s new violin and the clothes Taako got away. No need lugging them around into potentially dangerous areas.

Once they headed out again Taako started to explain the directions the shopkeeper had given him. Kravitz listened intently, and it was easy to see the dude was on edge again, which was what Taako figured would happen.

Not letting himself overthink it, Taako reached over and grabbed his hand. Kravitz jolted for a moment before relaxing when he looked down and saw what it was.

“Figure you’d wanna keep an even tighter leash than yesterday,” he explained, and Kravitz nodded.

“Yes, that is wise,” he said, sounding almost nervous.

It was probably for the best that they get Kravitz back free and to the palace as fast as possible. Taako was trying his damnedest not to think about it but even he could admit right now that this was getting  _ bad _ . There was no way it wasn’t going to end terribly, and he wasn’t even sure how he’d gotten into this mess.

It was just a small crush. He just wasn’t used to having someone around being nice to him all the time. They would get Kravitz back and it would fade and he’d find his sister and everything would be fine. He certainly wasn’t going to tell Kravitz about it, because even if Taako managed to convince the guy he was as much of a person as he  _ clearly _ was, he was only sticking around because he was magically compelled. Even Taako could understand that did not make the start of a healthy relationship.

But until then, Taako figured there wasn’t any harm in having some fun.

It didn’t take too long for them to find the address Taako had been given. It was pretty out of the way, although not suspiciously so. A cramped street full of small shops, Taako could see how any average person walking down the street would overlook it. There wasn’t any sign, the only thing setting it apart from the shops to either side of it being the deep red door that led in.

“Alright, you ready big guy?” Taako asked, and when he glanced up at Kravitz he did not in fact look ready.

“Yes, that is, um, plan? Is there one?” he asked, and that was a good question.

“Just follow along, try not to look like you’re going to kill anyone who moves too quickly, and let me do the talking,” he said, and Kravitz nodded. He still didn’t look all that thrilled about this whole thing.

“Should I smile more?” he asked, giving a big fake grin that looked more like a grimace than anything.

“Definitely not,” he said, and Kravitz’s face dropped to a more neutral expression. With that he started forward, not bothering to knock on the door before heading in. The interior was dimly lit, large bookcases and shelves lining most of the store, making it hard to see the whole place at once. The only person Taako could see from his position at the entrance was a red dragonborn sitting behind a counter.

“Just browsing,” Taako said, getting a noncommittal hum from the dragonborn. Keeping a hold on Kravitz, he started over to a bookcase, and the one good thing about these things was that it hid the two of them pretty well. Picking a shelf at random, Taako started scanning through the books.

“Is- should I do something?” Kravitz asked after a few moments of looking.

“You can hold anything I find that might be useful, alright babe?” he said, and Kravitz didn’t look too happy with that answer. Still, he nodded none the less and Taako went back to looking.

This kind of magic really wasn’t his forte. He knew that Kravitz hadn’t wanted to spend a lot of time in this shop, but unfortunately this wasn’t something he was gonna be able to rush. There was also the fun aspect of the fact that none of the books had any sort of pricing on them. He was very much familiar with the saying that if you had to ask the price that meant you couldn’t afford it, and oh boy did he want to ask the price on some of these things.

He’d been looking for maybe forty minutes and has handed Kravitz a total of two whole books that he  _ might _ try and haggle the shopkeep for. He could tell that Kravitz was kind of wearing thin in the patience department, but Taako wasn’t paying a lot of attention to that. He honestly wasn’t paying attention to much other than trying to find something that might have what they were looking for. Every so often he’d hear the bell above the front door chime, but so far no one else who came into the store bothered them.

He was skimming through a large tome that was definitely too expensive for them to even pretend to want to buy, but it seemed to have some pretty deep mind control magic in it. Most of it was too high for him to really understand, but he was trying to commit as much as he could to memory when he heard a crash of books down at the end of the aisle they were currently in.

Looking up, a pretty nondescript looking human dude was staring at him, the books he’d presumably been holding before scattered at his feet. The expression on his face was like he’d seen a ghost, actual tears in his eyes forming behind thick glasses.

“Lup?”

And Taako felt his heart stop.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> oh we're getting into it now folks 
> 
> as always thanks for reading and i hope you enjoyed!!


	12. Initial Interrogations

“Lup?” this person asked again, and Taako wanted to respond. He needed to respond, to ask who the fuck they were and how they knew that name. Instead he found himself staring dumbly, voice dead in his throat as this stranger took a few shaking, hesitant steps forward.

“Lup, is it really- wait,” he said, and then paused. It was dark in this store, and this guy seemed fully human from the look of it. He squinted, his head tilting to the side like he was trying to see his face under the shadow of his hat. “Taako?”

Taako didn’t have any time to answer. He felt Kravitz’s hand let go of his, and before he could blink the construct had grabbed this human, pinning him up against a bookshelf. More crashing as old tomes and heavy books fell to the floor, the whole case swaying terrifyingly for a moment.

_ “You,” _ Kravitz growled. Okay, shit, Taako was gonna have to get his brain back to working order quick.

“Me?” the dude squeaked, glancing in fear between Kravitz and him.

“Whoa! Whoa Krav hold it a second,” he said, rushing up and trying to grab onto Kravitz’s arm to pull him loose. The construct wasn’t budging in the slightest though, which he should have figured.

“Taako you know this man?” Kravitz asked, his voice hard. Much harder than he was used to now. Taako quickly shook his head, which earned a look of confusion from the guy.

“I have no fucking clue who he is, but he knows Lup!” he said, and he’d been trying not to think about it before. Trying to focus on getting Kravitz back first and then resuming his search for his sister.

But here was someone who apparently knew her. Who might actually have some  _ answers. _

“No. I’m sorry Taako but he is too dangerous, I will not let him near you,” Kravitz said, and it was clear that this wasn’t Kravitz just being protective because of the curse. Whoever the fuck this person was, he knew him.

“What? Taako, who  _ is _ this guy?” the stranger asked.

“That’s not-” he started, getting cut off by another voice shouting.

“Hey! The fuck’s going on back there!?” the shopkeeper yelled, running at them now. Shit.

Sharing a glance with Kravitz, there was a very quick, silent argument between them that he did not intend to lose.

“We’re taking him,” Taako said decisively, nodding towards the human still pinned up against the bookcase.

“Um, what?” the guy asked, but Kravitz ignored him. An extremely irritated expression crossed his face before he sighed in frustration.

“I take it all back. I do hate you,” he said, not any real bite in his voice. Taako grinned brightly at that, pretty damn sure he didn’t mean it.

“Appreciate it babe,” he said. The shopkeep had nearly reached them at this point. With a surprising amount of ease for anyone who didn’t know he was a construct Kravitz slung the human up over his shoulder before kicking down the closest bookcase in the direction of the dragonborn. Grabbing Taako’s wrist, he started running around the toppling domino stack of bookcases. Instead of bothering with the door he threw a chair at a large, curtain covered window before rushing through. Running through the streets, Taako almost couldn’t keep up with Kravitz.

Slowly the shouting behind them faded, and Taako wasn’t sure where they were going as Kravitz had them weaving through back alleys. Eventually they came to a stop and Taako nearly collapsed, slumped up against a brick wall panting heavily.

“Uh, can you put me down now?” the person they stole asked. Kravitz did set the guy down, before pinning him to the wall again. Taako had forgotten he was a guard and  _ did _ have weapons on him despite being a construct until he pulled out a knife to hold up threateningly..

“Answer his questions and do not try anything necromancer, and I will ensure no harm comes to you  _ until _ you have been tried for your crimes,” Kravitz hissed, getting an audible gulp from the dude.

“Uh, that’s uh- do I know you?” he asked, eyes continuing to dart down at the blade.

“Yeah Krav, you know this fool?” Taako pressed, because it felt like they were doing a weird game where everyone was one off from having a clue about what was going on. Kravitz was still glaring daggers at this guy as he nodded.

“In a way. This is the necromancer that broke into the castle and stole several incredibly dangerous and rare books containing sensitive necromantic magic,” he explained. Which ah, okay that made sense. The dude laughed nervously, looking guilty at that.

“Um, yeah I’m real uh, sorry about that? That one’s on me,” he said, his eyes still moving between him and Kravitz. “Um, who are  _ you _ though?” he asked, and Kravitz made no move to answer his question. Taking one more deep breath Taako pushed himself up from the wall.

“I think the real question here is who the fuck are you?” he asked, and he swore this dude almost looked hurt.

“It’s me, Barry?” he said, sounding confused by the question. Taako moved so that he was standing next to Kravitz and the guy didn’t have to keep looking back and forth. “Don’t you remember me?” he asked, and Taako immediately shook his head.

“Can’t say I do. How the  _ fuck _ do you know my sister?” he asked, the rest of his questions dying in his throat. Like why did he mistake him for her? What did she look like? What did she sound like what was her favorite color had he seen her recently where was she now where the fuck  _ was she? _

“That’s- we’re engaged?” he said, and Taako froze, his brain taking a short moment to restart in order to properly process that information.

“You’re  _ what!?” _ he shouted after a moment.

“Uh-” Barry started, but Taako held up a hand to shush him.

“No, you shut up. Kravitz! What the  _ fuck?!” _ he asked, aware he was whining and definitely deserving of the absolutely incredulous look Kravitz shot him.

“I do not know how you expect me to fix this,” he said bluntly, and Taako huffed. It was fair, but not helpful in the slightest. Taking a deep breath he turned back towards Barry.

“Okay Barold, if you’re engaged to my sister then where the fuck is she?” he asked, and Barry’s face dropped at that question.

“I don’t know, I’ve been searching for you two for  _ years! _ I thought you might have died! That was why I broke into the palace, to try and find something to help me find you,” he explained, and Taako glanced over at Kravitz at that. It was hard to tell what he was thinking though, the dude was just staring at Barry with absolute disdain.

“Krav?” he asked, a sweeter tone to his voice than he would normally use. In response Kravitz sighed heavily, somehow looking tired despite the fact that Taako knew this fool didn’t need to sleep.

“I’m not going to like the next thing you have to say, am I?” he asked, and that was fair. He was right after all, he wasn't. 

“This is gonna take longer than a back alley interrogation,” Taako said, and Kravitz immediately shook his head.

“Absolutely not. I don’t want him anywhere near you,” he said, which was about what Taako expected. Still, this was the last thing he was going to be a pushover on.

“Please? Come on, it’s not like you can just let him go anyway, right? You gotta bring him back to the palace to like, face judgment and all that,” he said, and he could see some of Kravitz’s resolve crumbling.

“I’m not going to put you in danger like that,” he still insisted, and for the first time since he saw this guy he didn't just sound angry. Taako could hear the genuine concern in his voice, which would have been pretty sweet if it wasn’t a magic charm making him feel that.

“Uh, for the record, I’m not going to hurt Taako,” Barry spoke up, earning a glare from Kravitz.

“See, he’s not gonna hurt me, and if he tries you’ll be there to protect me, it’ll be fine,” Taako tried. He honestly wasn’t getting a danger vibe from this guy, and from the expression on his face when he thought he was Lup, he didn’t think… he was clearly trying to find her. He didn’t think he would give up a shot at that so easily.

“Necromancers are tricky, it’s too high of a risk,” Kravitz insisted, but Taako could tell he was breaking.

“I trust you,” he said easily, because that was another thing. He really didn’t think this dude would be able to do shit without Kravitz just tackling the fuck out of him.

“Taako that’s not the- ugh, I’m not going to be able to argue with you on this, am I?” he asked, and Taako grinned as he shook his head. Kravitz sighed heavily before turning back towards Barry with an absolute furious expression on his face.

“If you try  _ anything,” _ he started, and Barry shook his head, putting his hands up in a clear surrender.

“I won’t! I promise bud I won’t touch him, alright?” he said, Kravitz very slowly nodding before lowering his knife. Taako grinned at Barry, who seemed to have eased up some now that he was no longer staring down a knife.

“Sorry about that my guy. Krav here is usually a huge sweetheart, but a tad overprotective is all, and uh, not the biggest fan of necromancers,” he said, and Barry nodded slowly.

“I can see that,” he said. He didn’t sound like he believed him on the whole Kravitz actually being a nice guy front, and Taako guessed he couldn’t blame him too much for that. This was definitely a hell of a lot more aggro than Taako was used to him being.

It took a little bit, but Kravitz eventually agreed to let Barry walk instead of carrying him like a kidnapping victim through the streets for all to see.

Getting him up to the bedroom was a little complicated, but Taako was having a hard time focusing on the weird looks they were getting as Kravitz still basically dragged Barry up past a room full of slightly drunk tavern-goers.

Instead, all he could think about was Lup. He still couldn’t remember anything about her, but hopefully soon he would be able to actually learn.

—

On some level, Kravitz could understand  _ why _ Taako had decided to take the necromancer back to their room. He knew how much finding his sister meant to him. He’d seen how terrified he’d been when he realized he had forgotten her even for a moment. It was so much that Kravitz had been afraid as well. He  _ wanted _ Taako to be able to find his sister, of course he did.

None of that meant he had to like this in the slightest. In fact he pretty much hated it and still could not believe that he had actually agreed to it. He was sure that at this point the danger was such that Kravitz would have no problem throwing the elf over his shoulder and getting as far away from the necromancer as possible, curse be damned.

But instead of doing that Taako had begged, looked up at him with big pleading eyes and Kravitz relented. Now they were in their room and Kravitz had thoroughly searched the human. He removed all spellfocuses and arcane tomes he’d had on him before tying him up as best as he could with one of the spare blankets. For his part the necromancer was mostly agreeable to all of this, but that only served to increase Kravitz’s suspicion of him.

“So uh, y’all good? Can we talk now?” Barry asked, sitting on the bed as best as he could wrapped up as he was. “I’m gonna like, want my stuff back by the way. This ain’t for keepsies,” he added.

“Your possessions will be returned when and  _ if _ her Majesty the Queen deems it appropriate to return,” he said, and he hadn’t looked through the books he’d taken off the human too closely. He was fairly sure none of them were the ones he’d stolen, which most likely meant he was keeping them at whatever passed for his base.

“Oh jeeze. You’re not really gonna arrest me, are you? Taako, you’re not gonna let him do that right?” Barry said, turning towards Taako.

“I mean, I still don’t know who the fuck you are. It’s not really my problem,” he said, and this was all happening so fast that Kravitz hadn’t had a lot of time to think about that yet. How this man apparently knew Taako. The elf couldn’t remember him, and Kravitz was certain this wasn’t an act. He supposed there was nothing to prove that it wasn’t, but he trusted Taako.

Taako himself admitted to not being able to remember his whole story though. The fact that this necromancer knew him, was apparently engaged to his sister, it wasn’t a good sign.

Kravitz told himself he could think about that later.

“Okay but who-” Barry started to ask, before glancing over at Kravitz and lowering his voice. “Who even  _ is _ he?” he asked, and Kravitz rolled his eyes.

“That is not relevant,” he insisted, because it really wasn’t. Taako glanced over at him, and Kravitz still wasn’t great at subtle facial expressions, but he felt like he’d gotten a hang of Taako’s pretty well. He could see how the elf was thinking something over, and then the moment of excitement on his face as something came to him.

“Maybe not, but he’s usually a much better dresser than this, see?” Taako said, flicking his wand at him and the illusion changing in a flash. Kravitz didn’t need to look over into the mirror to know that he’d shifted it back to his usual well tailored outfit and gold jewelry.

“Taako!” he chastised, and the elf simply shrugged.

“Hey, your commoner disguise was gonna wear off soon enough anyway,” he said, so casually that Kravitz almost did not catch the double meaning at first. Right, the illusion. He would have to thank Taako later for finding a way to recast it so surreptitiously to avoid suspicion.

“Fair enough,” he said reluctantly, heading over to where he had left his cloak and throwing it back on as well. As he did he could see Barry’s eyes following him, a look of concentration on his face. Once he had finished putting the cloak on his eyes widened.

“Oh shit!” he said, and Kravitz raised an eyebrow at him.

“Is something the matter?” he asked, trying to sound like he cared as little as possible. Barry shook his head quickly, and Kravitz wasn’t going to complain about the necromancer looking nervous, but he was a little confused about what had caused it at this particular moment.

“No, uh, I guess not? I just, huh, I didn’t even know we  _ had _ a prince,” he said, muttering that last part. He still heard it well enough though, and Kravitz couldn’t help but cock his head in confusion.

“What?”

_ “A prince?” _ Taako asked at the same time, sounding even more befuddled than Kravitz felt. Barry was frowning and looked a bit uncertain now.

“Is that not right? I couldn’t place why you looked familiar but like, you're clearly royalty, and you look just like the queen,” he said. Before Kravitz could respond to the ridiculous idea that he was a prince, Taako’s head snapped towards him.

“You look like the  _ Queen?” _ he asked, which. Right. He hadn’t ever told Taako about where the inspiration for his disguise had come from.

“I don’t think this is the best time to have this conversation,” he said, tilting his head back over to Barry. Instead of being reasonable and letting them table this conversation for when they didn’t have a dangerous necromancer sitting on the bed, Taako stormed over to him and grabbed his wrist. Kravitz couldn't do anything as he started to drag him over to the small washroom that had come attached to the rented room.

“Nope, we’re doing this now,” he said, and even thought Kravitz couldn't stop he still protested as Taako pulled him along.

“Taako please, this is not pertinent right now. Taako the  _ necromancer!” _ he insisted. That at least got the elf to stop, still not letting go of his wrist as he glanced back towards the captured human.

“Hey Barold, you good to hang here for a minute while we have a  _ quick _ little chat?” he asked, and Barry nodded.

“You’re good. I’ll be here,” he said, and with that Taako pulled them into the bathroom, shutting the door behind them. It was not a large room in the slightest, most of the area taken up by the utilities. As such Kravitz found himself grabbing onto the shower rod to prevent him from immediately toppling over onto Taako.

“Taako we can not possibly trust that he will stay put. We should not leave him alone,” he insisted, but Taako didn’t seem all that bothered.

“I’m not saying we trust him but we know he wants answers about Lup too, he won’t run,” he said, and Kravitz paused at that. It was at least more thought than he had assumed Taako had put into this, but he supposed he should have learned a long time ago not to underestimate the wizard.

“Okay, but is this  _ really _ necessary?” he asked, and Taako nodded.

“Sure is. You look like the  _ Queen?” _ he asked, and Kravitz sighed, moving the hand not currently holding onto the shower rod in a so-so motion.

“I believe he was exaggerating when he said I looked ‘just like’ her. Her majesty has what would be considered traditionally feminine features. As a construct I do not technically have a gender but I prefer a more masculine presentation and address,” he said, and this did not feel like the most important thing to be discussing right now.

“Fair enough, that’s just how gender sort of be sometimes,” Taako said, and Kravitz wished that could be it, but unfortunately he continued. “But you still look like her right, enough that Barold out there thought you were her  _ son?” _ he pressed, and Kravitz shrugged as best as he could in the enclosed space. He wished they could have had this conversation somewhere a little larger. Taako was almost directly underneath him, it was distracting and Kravitz didn’t even know  _ why. _

“Yes, I suppose that is accurate,” he said, and he didn’t expect Taako’s next question.

“Why?”

“Request for clarification?” he asked back, not sure what Taako meant. The elf took a moment to think it over.

“I don’t know, just wondering why you chose her? You seemed real fucking sure of what you wanted when I first asked,” he said, and Kravitz supposed the question made sense now.

“Is this really important?” he asked though, and this time Taako shrugged.

“Not really I guess. Just curious,” he said, and it was another one of those things where Kravitz should have brushed off the elf’s strange whims and directed them back to the task at hand. He was under no obligation to disclose this sort of information, and they had more important things to worry about.

But instead of doing any of that, Kravitz took a moment to think the question over before slowly formulating a response.

“Her majesty created me. I owe my existence to her and most of who I am as an entity is due to her hand. We guards are not copies of her or each other, but her mark is there in all of us. I suppose when you asked for an appearance it only felt natural to include a show of her hand in that as well,” he explained. Taako was quiet for a moment, before a large grin spread across his face.

“Aw, so she’s like your mom!” he said, and Kravitz huffed indignantly at that.

“No! That is not what I was saying in the slightest,” he insisted, but Taako did not seem to pay him any mind.

“That’s what it sounded like to me,” he said, and Kravitz rolled his eyes heavily at that.

“This is ridiculous, we don’t have time for-” he started, trying to maneuver himself around Taako to get to the door. He did not get to finish his sentence, the shower rod he’d been leaning on snapping as he put too much pressure on it. Kravitz yelped as he tumbled to the side, trying and failing to grab onto the sink to stop his fall.

“Shit!” Taako shouted, and Kravitz didn’t notice him trying to grab a hold of his arm to keep him steady until the attempt sent Taako falling into the tub with him.

“Are you alright?” Kravitz asked, and at least Taako had fallen on top of him instead of the other way around. That would have surely injured him. Taako nodded as Kravitz started to reach around for something to grab onto to pull himself up.

“I’m fin- _ aaak!” _ Taako squawked, a spray of water cutting him off when the handle Kravitz had tried to use to right himself turned unexpectedly. “Turn it off!” he shouted, and Kravitz nodded quickly, trying to turn the other handle. “Not that! Fuck! Cold!  _ Cold! _ ”

“How does this work?! I’ve never used one of these before!” he insisted, twisting the handles every which way now to no effect. Finally Taako slapped his hands away, quickly turning them himself until the spray of water shut off.

Once it was over everything felt strangely quiet, the only sound being the last of the water draining away and Taako’s heavy breathing. Then Taako’s head dropped down onto Kravitz’s chest, and from the sudden shaking of his shoulder Kravitz was terrified for a moment that he’d begun to cry.

And then Taako snorted, and Kravitz realized he was doubled over laughing.

It was all so ridiculous that Kravitz couldn’t help but start laughing as well.

That was cut off when there was the sound of a soft thump against the bathroom door, followed by a concerned voice.

“Uh, are you guys alright in there? Should I call someone?”

Lifting his head up, Taako at least had the decency to look about as panicked as Kravitz felt at the moment.

“We’re fine! Stay right there!” Taako shouted after a second. The necromancer gave a quick affirmative through the door, and Taako started trying to scramble off of him. He could see now just how soaked through the elf was, his clothes dripping and his hair plastered down. Once he was standing he turned back towards Kravitz, still sprawled mostly in the tub. “Can you stand?” he asked, and Kravitz nodded.

“Yes, I can- shit,” he said, slipping back down when he attempted to pull himself up on the slick, ceramic wall. He heard a snap underneath him, and glancing down he could see the curtain rod was not in very good shape at this point.

“Here, just- gimme your hands,” Taako said, reaching out to try and assist him. Kravitz hesitated at that, looking over the elven wizard who looked even smaller than he normally did, soaked through as he was.

“I’m very heavy,” he said, and Taako rolled his eyes.

“I can handle it big boy,” he insisted.

“Are you guys sure you guys don’t want any help?” the necromancer called through the door.

“We  _ got it _ Barry!” Taako snapped back almost immediately. Instead of grabbing his hands Kravitz adjusted so that he actually had both his legs under him, instead of one hanging outside of the tub awkwardly. With that he slowly managed to stand, using Taako to steady himself instead of actually putting much weight on him. As soon as he was standing he managed to step out of the tub. Looking down, his cloak was also soaked through.

Opening the door, Barry must’ve been leaning against it. The necromancer was still tied up in the blanket, quickly losing his balance and falling on the floor. Grabbing him, Kravitz threw him over his shoulder, walking the short distance and depositing him back onto the bed.

“You were supposed to wait here,” he said, and Barry shrugged as much as he could.

“Hey, there was a  _ lot _ of banging and shouting happening in there. You can’t blame a guy for being concerned,” he said, taking a moment to slowly look over the state the two of them were in now. “What uh, what even  _ happened _ in there?” he asked, clearly having to stifle some laughter. 

“Don’t worry about it,” Taako insisted, before looking down at his soaked appearance with a grimace. “Okay but actually I’m gonna put on something dry. Krav you good watching our friend here for a minute?” he asked, and Kravitz nodded. Taako quickly rummaged through his bags, grabbing an outfit before disappearing into the bathroom again.

And then it was just him and the necromancer.

“So, you and Taako?” he asked, and Kravitz frowned, raising an eyebrow slightly.

“Is there an end to that sentence?” he asked back, even though he was fairly certain he knew what the man was implying. He was not sure how blatant they wanted to be with their ruse. They should have used the time they were in the bathroom to talk about that and the fact that this necromancer apparently thought he was a part of the royal family, not the disaster of what actually happened.

“No, I guess not. It’s just,” he paused, sighing heavily. “Taako doesn’t remember me, and it’s, well it’s not  _ fine, _ but the point is it doesn’t change the fact that he’s my best friend. So it’s a relief to see that he’s okay and uh, apparently dating royalty I guess? Honestly with Taako I shouldn’t be surprised,” he said. Kravitz knew he should just be relieved that this man had come up with his own explanation for their relationship like everyone else did. It was more of the same acting, but even though the people at the tavern all acted as if they were a couple no one had ever been so direct about it before.

For some reason, this necromancer doing so made Kravitz want to hide in his cloak. Which was still dripping a puddle of water around him.

“That’s- we are-” he stuttered out. To his immense relief Taako came out of the bathroom then, his hair still damp but otherwise dry. “Taako, he is your hostage. You do the talking from now on,” he insisted immediately, going and sitting down in the chair in the corner. As much as he wanted to hide his face under his cloak he couldn’t, because he wouldn’t be able to watch the necromancer and also it was an incredibly childish thing to do. Taako looked back at him, blinking in confusion.

“Krav? You good my dude?” he asked, and Kravitz nodded. He should be fine.

He was not sure why he was not fine.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Construct Kravitz looked at boys and wasn't sure if he wanted to _be_ one or be _with_ one and eventually decided that the answer was Yes. 
> 
> as always, thanks for reading and I hope you enjoyed!


	13. Trust Must Be Earned

This had been a really weird day. Taako figured a good chunk of his life could qualify as weird days, but today had been a fucking journey.

It seemed that now at least things had calmed down somewhat. No one was shouting or falling over themselves in the shower or trying to fight weirdly friendly necromancers claiming to be future brother-in-laws. Kravitz had taken to sulking in the corner, which was a little concerning considering Taako had been gone for all of a minute and a half. Still, he asked and the dude insisted he was fine, so if it  _ was _ anything he figured they could talk about it later.

For now, he was going to get some answers from the first solid fucking lead he’d had in… a long time. He couldn’t remember quite how long, but a while for sure. Said lead was still sitting where Kravitz had placed him on the bed, neatly tied up in the comforter.

“Okay, so, Barold,” he started, the necromancer nodding, and now that Kravitz wasn’t threatening him or anything the dude seemed weirdly calm. Practically fucking casual about the fact that they technically abducted him, wrecking a whole shop in the process.

Which, yeah, shit. They might need to leave Neverwinter soon.

“How’s it hanging bud?” Barry asked, and Taako knew why Kravitz didn’t trust this guy. He had some pretty compelling arguments about the dangers of necromancers and all that, and this one was apparently insane enough to break into the palace, not to mention skilled enough to escape.

Taako really couldn’t bring himself to be afraid of him though. There was something about him that was too relaxed. Too familiar almost, but he couldn’t grasp any more than the feeling of a name at the tip of his tongue when he tried to think about that.

“Where’s my sister?” he asked, figuring it wouldn’t hurt to get straight to the point. Barry let out a disappointed sigh at the question, and he genuinely looked sad as he answered.

“I don’t know. I promise you Taako I have been looking everywhere, but so far I’ve only reached dead ends. Hell, I only came back to Neverwinter to try and regroup and uh, lay low for a while,” he said, his eyes flickering towards Kravitz at that. “I never imagined actually running into you.”

“So you know me?” he asked, and Barry nodded. “I don’t remember you dog,” he said, and again the dude looked disappointed by that.

“I mean, do you want me to prove it?” he asked, and Taako hummed considering.

“I hadn’t actually thought of that. Ya know what, yeah. If you can then fucking go for it my guy,” he said, and Barry seemed to take a moment to think before speaking again.

“Your name is Taako, your twin sister Lup is the closest family you’ve ever had. You two had been on the road since you were about eleven, and before then you had stayed with an aunt who taught you how to cook. You are by far the best fucking chef I’ve ever met and an incredible transmutation wizard. You’re allergic to peanuts and are an amazing swimmer. Hell, you  _ taught me _ how to swim,” Barry said, and it was all said with enough confidence and enough of it was of things that Taako knew was true that he had no doubt that it all was.

Which meant…

“We’re twins?” he asked, and it wasn’t what he meant to say but it was what ended up coming out. Barry blinked in confusion, somehow managing to look even more concerned.

“Yeah, of course you guys are. That’s- what’s going on Taako?” he asked, and he sounded genuinely scared. Which was fair, that was a pretty big thing to just fucking  _ forget. _

“I don’t… remember losing Lup. I know she was there, and that she’s gone now, but I don’t fucking know how it happened or where. Just that it was in a forest, I think?” he said, and taking a deep breath he told himself he’d already said it once. Somehow it was easier with Kravitz, but he forced himself to go over it again anyway. “I can’t remember her either. I remember what having her around was like, but when I try to think of her there’s fucking nothing. I can’t even remember what she looked like,” he said.

“Shit…” Barry whispered. “Taako, we have to  _ do _ something,” he insisted.

“You don’t say?” he snapped, and he was surprised when it didn’t seem to bother Barry all that much. He guessed this dude did apparently know him though, so maybe he was used to him being like this. Taking a deep breath, he tried to gather his still pretty panicked thoughts some. “Look, I’ve been trying to find her, okay? But it’s hard when you don’t even know who you’re looking for, and I didn’t even realize how bad things had gotten until… until recently,” he said, and Barry nodded, an intent look on his face.

“We can work together then. If we can cross out every place we’ve both already looked and combine the rest of our information we should be able to get something-” Barry started. He was cut off when Kravitz stood up, quickly moving to stand between them. His cloak still looked wet, but the rest of him appeared dry as anything, which right, illusion. They were lucky Barry hadn’t caught that yet, or if he did just decided not to say anything.

“Taako, may I remind you that we cannot trust him,” he said, and the thing was Taako didn’t  _ want _ to argue with Kravitz. He wasn’t making that easy though.

“Kravitz, this might be the  _ one fucking chance _ I have at finding my sister!” he insisted, because he wasn’t beating around the bush with this. They didn’t have  _ time _ to fuck around. He knew he was going to forget more and more, and who was to say that he wouldn’t forget he was looking for her in the first place? That at some point he wouldn’t even notice there was a gap in his soul at all.

He didn’t even know they were  _ twins. _

“I know how important this is to you, but we have no way of knowing if he is even telling the truth,” Kravitz tried, and Taako knew why he would think that. He could tell that Barry wasn’t lying though. He didn’t know how he knew and maybe it wasn’t a good idea to rely on his instincts so heavily in a situation like this, but as far as he was concerned he didn’t have any other choice.

“I’m not budging on this,” he said, his voice much harder than he typically sounded. He could see the conflict and worry on Kravitz’s face, and after a moment Taako sighed, giving his best attempt at an encouraging smile. “And hey, look at it this way. Maybe he could help us out with ya know, your whole situation too,” he tried. The reaction wasn’t what Taako was hoping for, Kravitz practically snarling at the suggestion.

“No. If you insist on including the necromancer in your problems then I will not stop you, but I am  _ not _ involving him in mine,” he said, and it was clear as fuck that Kravitz wouldn't be swayed on this. Letting out a sigh, Taako nodded.

“Yeah alright fine, your choice,” he said, and he felt fucking exhausted. “Let’s just sleep for now, we can figure out exactly what we’re doing in the morning,” he said, turning towards the bed. Which Barry was still sitting on. He seemed to notice the issue after a few seconds, scanning around the pretty sparsely decorated room.

“Uh, I can sleep on the floor I guess? Are y’all gonna just… leave me tied up like this? Forever?” he asked, and Taako drew in a hissed breath at that. Glancing over at Kravitz, at least he also looked uncomfortable with the question.

“I mean, we can’t do that, right?” he asked, Kravitz reluctantly shaking his head.

“No? Probably not.”

“That’d be inhumane,” he said, and Kravitz sighed as he nodded in agreement.

“We can’t just let him roam around free though!” he argued, which was a fair point. “But I suppose I could just… watch him?” Kravitz added, definitely not sounding too thrilled by the idea. Taako couldn’t think of a better one though.

“I know it’s gonna take a bit to earn y’alls trust, listen I  _ get _ that, but like, wanna reiterate here. I also very much want to find, ya know, the love of my life? So I’m not gonna try to run or anything,” Barry said, which Taako at least believed him. He was pretty sure Kravitz not so much though. To Taako’s surprise though he walked over, actually untying the blanket from around him.

“We will be keeping all of your arcane artifacts out of your possession still. If you try anything I will not hesitate to protect my… friend,” Kravitz said, clearly still uncomfortable with all of this, keeping himself between him and Barry.

“Yeah no, we’re good bud. I can just sleep on the chair if that’s cool,” he said, and Kravitz nodded. Letting out a sigh of relief that slowly shifted into a yawn, Taako went to collapse down onto the bed.

“Alright well if that’s all settled cha’ boy’s gonna pass the fuck out now. G’night folks,” he said.

“Uh, okay?” Barry said, sounding a little befuddled, which was fair. That had been pretty sudden and there was still a hell of a lot they needed to actually figure out and decide, but Taako had declared that all that could wait until morning. Today had been enough, he was just about done with today.

He wasn’t asleep when about ten minutes later he heard Barry speak again.

“Are… are you just gonna stand there? All night? Staring at me?” he asked, and it was pretty clear who he was talking to.

“Yes,” Kravitz said, and Taako rolled over so that he was facing the two. Kravitz had gone through the trouble of turning the lights off after Taako had lied down, and it was dark in the room with his disguise up. He wasn’t sure when he’d gotten used to the soft blue glow from Kravitz’s construct form, but his dark vision felt somehow inadequate without it now.

“Oh yeah, he does that. Don’t worry, you get used to it,” he supplied, and he figured Kravitz didn’t want to actually explain what he was to Barry. They’d have to talk about how they were gonna keep up the ruse if this was to be a long term thing, but once again, a problem for future Taako.

“All the time?” Barry asked.

“Yes,” Taako said, almost laughing when Kravitz echoed the word at the same time. He was just being factual but he was pretty sure Krav was trying to be intimidating with that.

“That’s- I cannot believe I’m actually saying this to another person, but you need sleep?” Barry said, actually sounding concerned for Kravitz’s health. Which honestly that was another point in his favor as far as Taako was concerned. The good news was while they probably wouldn’t be able to keep Kravitz’s whole deal a secret forever, it would be hilarious as fuck to confuse Barold with it in the meantime.

“That is not any of your concern,” Kravitz said, and it was hard not to snicker at that. Taako managed though, figuring he might as well not ruin his whole big intimidation bit.

“Alright, I’ll uh, let that one go for tonight I guess, since you’re clearly paranoid with me being around. You’re gonna have to sleep eventually though,” he said, and Kravitz did not look very impressed. He didn’t respond, and the conversation died. With that Taako rolled back over, and it took a while for him to fall asleep that night.

It was hard to tell if it was because he was excited, or terrified.

——

Normally Kravitz did not enjoy when night came around. It meant standing in a room for however many hours as Taako slept, alone and bored. The most exciting moments were when the elf had nightmares, but Kravitz did not actually like when those happened. It seemed distressing for Taako, despite how much he insisted he could not remember them afterwards.

Tonight though Kravitz was thankful for the silence. So much had happened so fast, it was a relief to have some time to himself, to actually stop and think about it. It wasn’t anywhere near as relaxing as it could have been, having to keep his attention on the necromancer struggling to sleep in the corner, but still. It was quiet and he could think.

He wanted to be furious at Taako, insisting they keep this necromancer around. To actually work with him, let him walk around freely.

He couldn’t be mad at Taako, because even he could see how desperate he was to find his sister. To get her back before he lost all memory of her. Kravitz had promised that he would help with this task, and he could see how this Barry Bluejeans might be their best bet to figuring out what had happened to her. What had happened to  _ Taako _ to scramble his memories so severely.

Barry turned in his sleep, nearly falling off the chair in the process and startling awake. He glanced around him, his eyes falling on Kravitz for a moment before turning again and presumably trying to fall back to sleep. Kravitz was thankful that he did not try and use the moment to strike up a conversation.

This necromancer. He was unmistakably the one that had broken into the palace, who had nearly destroyed him in his escape. Kravitz felt like no one could blame him for being cautious with that hanging over his head.

Barry had claimed without the slightest bit of hesitation that Taako was his best friend. That he was still his best friend, despite the elf no longer remembering him. He was apparently set to marry Taako’s sister, and from what Kravitz could tell made no attempt to hide his necromancy from either of them.

Which didn’t exactly paint Taako in the best light. It was something Kravitz had been trying his best  _ not _ to think about, but now that it was night, with several more long hours of nothing but his own thoughts with him, he couldn’t help but wonder.

Necromancers hurt other people. They twisted souls into something unrecognizable, used other’s lives to increase their own, drained from everything around them in order to build up their own power.

But most often, the person who a necromancer harmed most was themselves. Their spells were wicked, corrupting and rarely actually worked the way they were intended to. They backfired, and even the most skilled necromancer could be damaged beyond repair due to their own foolish experiments.

It was entirely possible that all this was Taako’s own fault. The lack of memories, the nightmares, all of it. He knew that Taako was an incredibly talented wizard, and despite his attempts to insist he was still just learning was able to craft his own spells and learn at an incredible pace.

There was no way to know for sure if Taako had done more than just been friends with necromancers in his past. No way of knowing that he had not been one himself.

Kravitz didn’t want to think about that. He wanted to believe that there was no way that was possible, but he knew that wasn’t true. It was not only possible, at this point it seemed downright likely.

That thought shouldn’t  _ hurt _ so damn much.

It took too long to push the thought from his mind, but eventually he managed to. Told himself that until he had some definitive proof there was nothing that could be done anyway. He still needed to protect Taako, still needed to find some way out of this charm. He could keep working with him for now.

If he ignored it all hard enough, maybe they could still even keep being friends, at least for the time being.

Taako woke up earlier than he usually did. Barry was still asleep, as far as Kravitz could tell. He supposed the human could be faking, but he wouldn’t know how to tell that. Taako made a motion for him to keep quiet as he woke up though, glancing over at Barry as he did. Kravitz nodded, not sure what he was planning until the elf grabbed his wand and recast the illusion spell on him once again.

Which was a relief, he’d been worried about it running off and trying to think of ways to get Taako alone in order to recast it. Thankfully that apparently hadn’t been necessary, Taako already on top of it. Once it was back firmly in place Taako stretched, yawning loudly.

“Oh today is gonna be a lot again, isn’t it? I can already tell,” he said. His voice caused Barry to stir, which was inevitable but frustrating. “Morning Barold,” he added, and it seemed to take the necromancer a moment to remember the exact situation he was in.

“Morning Taako,” he said, before turning to look back at Kravitz. “Did… did you really not sleep at all?” he asked, and as frustrating as his entire being was to Kravitz, befuddling him in such a way was at least somewhat amusing.

“I have not,” he said simply, Taako snickering behind him. Which, that alone brought Kravitz more joy than it should. He was not sure when he had started to like Taako’s laugh so much.

“Alright well, we’ll worry about that later I guess? What’s the plan for today?” Barry asked, and any amusement Kravitz had before quickly seeped out of him.

“You do not get a say in the plans,” he said, almost immediately followed by Taako speaking.

“You said you were laying low, you got a safe house or something we can crash at?” he asked, and Kravitz turned around to face the elf. He was still sitting casually on the bed, and his hair was a bit of a mess from sleeping with it still damp from the impromptu shower.

“We cannot trust him to bring us somewhere safe,” he insisted, and Taako nodded, but everything else about his body language made Kravitz feel like he wasn’t taking it all that seriously. Which again, was frustrating.

“Yeah yeah, and I hear ya big guy, I swear I do, there’s just one other little issue. Remember that necromancer’s bookshop we fucking trashed last night?” he asked, and the realization of what Taako was getting at crashed into Kravitz all at once.

“Oh. Right,” he said, and Taako nodded a bit more forcefully.

“So yeah, not really a lot of options here. So Barold, if you got a place we could kick it on the down low for a bit, we’d really appreciate it,” he said, and this time Kravitz did not argue with the idea. As much as he did not like having to work with this necromancer, at least for the moment they could rely on sharing a common goal. That was certainly not the case for the very angry necromancer they had left behind last night. It would be best if they made sure they did not bring anymore attention to this tavern than they already had.

“Right, yeah for sure. It’s uh, a little outside of the city actually, and not all that comfortable? Should be safe though, we did kinda make a scene last night,” Barry said, and with that they quickly started to pack up. Kravitz was not comfortable with the necromancer up and walking around freely, but he had his supplies. Hopefully he could not cast any magic without them, and he was not the most physically intimidating person in the world. At least he had enough sense to know to stay a decent distance away from Taako.

Heading out, they tried to keep to back streets and alleys, just in case anyone was trying to find them from the night before. Barry had not been lying about it being outside of the city, and Kravitz couldn’t help but feel more and more uncomfortable the further they went from civilization. Eventually they were moving through the woods, until they reached a rocky cliff face. From there it wasn’t too much of a trek until they come upon a rather well hidden cave.

“Well, uh, home sweet home. For now, I guess,” Barry said, turning back towards the two of them as they stopped in front of the dark, cavernous opening. It was silent for a long moment, and Kravitz could  _ see _ the emotions going across Taako’s face at the moment.

“Taako,” he said, and the elf just nodded.

“I know, okay? Just- come on, we’ve already come this far. Lead the way Barold,” he said, and Kravitz followed along as Barry lead them into the darkness of the cave. It was not dark once they were inside for very long, probably due to the human’s lack of dark vision. When they were a few steps in Barry stopped, clapping his hands. Dark red crystals Kravitz hadn’t noticed until then began to shine at the noise, casting a soft red glow across the cave.

“You can still perform magic?” he snapped, turning on the necromancer. Barry smiled nervously at him, shrugging noncommittally.

“I mean, not anything impressive? The lights are, ya know, pre-installed,” he said. Again Kravitz found himself wanting to argue, but before he could Taako started ahead. Grumbling in frustration, he followed along again.

Thankfully they did not have to walk too much further before they reached the main chamber of the cave. It was clearly lived in now, the red crystals shining from the walls joined in with some more traditional lightning fixtures. There were a few old looking desks covered in scattered papers, along with maps lining most of the free wall space, marks and checks and circles scattered across them in some sort of pattern that Kravitz could not for his existence understand. A bed was pushed into a dim corner, almost as an afterthought.

The other things that were in this cave were books. Lining shelves along the walls, stacked in piles. The cave looked like a library practically in and of itself.

"I see your stint at the palace was not a first offense," he said, glancing around. The necromancer flinched at that, and he still seemed nervous around him. Kravitz was hoping it would stay that way for a while.

"Not- look bud, most of these  _ aren't _ stolen. Hell, I  _ wrote _ some of these," he insisted, and it was a little irritating that Taako actually looked impressed at that. Kravitz read over the titles of a few of the closest books, making sure to keep an eye on the necromancer as he did. He wasn't going to turn his back on him for a moment if he could help it.

"Maybe so, but the books that you had stolen had been on the creation of liches and other highly illegal magic. You claimed that you were looking for something to help you find Taako and his sister, why would those topics have anything to do with that?" he asked, setting the necromancer with a glare. Maybe he was lying about trying to look for them, but maybe he wasn't. He hoped it was a lie if he was being honest.

"That's a good point actually. Why  _ would _ you need something about that?" Taako pressed. The necromancer sighed, and for someone who appeared to be so expressive he was frustratingly hard to read.

"Taako and Lup are two of the most powerful magic users I know. Scratch that, they _are_ the most powerful magic users I know. I don't know what happened to you guys but whatever did it had to be even stronger, so that's why. I was afraid that you might have been attacked by a lich, so I wanted to know as much as I could about them," the necromancer said. It sounded plausible enough, but Kravitz still was not sure if it was true.

"Uh, I kinda hate to break it to you, but I'm not  _ that _ powerful. I transmute food," Taako said, and Barry frowned at that.

"Then it seems like you've forgotten a whole lot more than just me and Lup buddy," he said. Considering everything Kravitz had seen the elf do, that, well that certainly made sense.

When Taako didn't respond the necromancer seemed to take a moment to recenter himself, taking a deep breath before starting forward into the cave.

“Okay so like I was saying, if we can just combine our efforts it should help. With everything I’ve managed to gather here combined with what you can remember we  _ have _ to be able to find her,” Barry said, the necromancer sounding almost excited by the prospect the more he spoke. Kravitz supposed that was fair, it did seem that there was a rather good chance that if there was any way to find Lup, the answer would be somewhere in here.

“Alright then, let’s get fucking cracking I guess,” Taako said, starting forward. Before he could get very far Kravitz placed a hand on his shoulder, stopping him in place.

“Taako,” he started, and even though he could understand the irritated look Taako gave him, he didn’t appreciate it.

“What?” he asked, an exasperated tone to his voice.

“I was just going to say please try to be careful,” Kravitz said, and there was more than that, but he knew he was not going to be able to talk Taako out of this anymore. Trying was clearly only going to agitate the wizard further. “I am saying this solely as your friend, I do not wish to see you hurt,” he finished. The annoyance on Taako’s face faded at that, replaced with a softer smile.

“Right, no worries Krav, I got this,” he said, and reluctantly Kravitz nodded. Instead of taking a seat he went and stood in the corner. It would be impossible to remove all possible arcane focus from Barry in this place, so he simply had to trust that Taako knew what he was doing. He watched as the two started to work. Most of it was Barry explaining what he had done so far, the areas he had searched on the map and the techniques he’d used. Every so often Taako would pinpoint a place he had searched as well, and they would cross it off as well.

It was slow going at first, but after time the two seemed to start to build up a rapport, their work flowing in a way that reminded Kravitz almost of Taako’s cooking shows. The movements smooth, clearly impressive despite the fact that he could not understand the finer details in the slightest.

In both, it was clear that this was where Taako belonged. His eyes shined as his mind worked faster than Kravitz could hope to keep track of, and yet Barry managed to match his speed with ease. He had claimed that Taako was his best friend, with or without his memories, and Kravitz could see that now.

It was strange, Kravitz had never felt jealous before.

He couldn’t say he liked it very much.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> so we're starting to near the halfway point, (although this fic might end up having closer to 29 or 30 chapters, we'll have to see) and i'm real excited for things to start popping off soon. 
> 
> as always, thanks for reading and I hope you enjoyed!


	14. Heart To Heart

Working with Barry came to Taako easier than he expected. There was just something about the dude that he jived with, in a way that he never would have guessed from looking at him. He seemed to understand how Taako’s brain worked, could follow the leaps he took and fill in the blanks when he didn’t feel like explaining every little detail. It would have been creepy, if it wasn’t for the fact that Taako found himself doing the same thing with him.

He supposed it lent some believability to the idea that they used to know each other, even if all that still felt real fucking wild to Taako. Whenever he thought about how much he might have already forgotten it felt too much like standing at the edge of some huge pit he couldn’t see the bottom of. Too much and way too unnerving to look directly at.

So he tried not to think about it, instead focusing on the actual matter at hand. Barry hadn’t been lying about looking for Lup everywhere he could. The maps he had were extensive, and it was clear that he’d had some pretty close run-ins in his attempts. It was a miracle the dude was still alive, even as some powerful necromancer.

They could take where he’d been looking, checking out any place that seemed likely to be able to trap her and now they could add on what little Taako remembered. A dark forest, covered in snow. The first town he remembered actually processing after walking for fuck knows how long. Anything he could grasp up in order to help pinpoint a location.

The entire time they worked Kravitz stood in the corner, watching them silently. It was obvious how much he did not like Barry, but there wasn’t much Taako could do about that.

There also wasn’t much Taako could do to help keep up the ruse that Kravitz had a living body. This became especially obvious when they decided to stop their research for lunch. Kravitz had already skipped out on breakfast, but they’d been moving while they ate then. It became a lot more noticeable when Taako rummaged around in his bags for something to eat and Kravitz continued standing, as still and silent as ever.

“Uh, you know you can eat too, right?” Barry asked, and Taako almost felt bad for the guy. He was pretty sure he was trying to make amends with Kravitz or something, but the big guy was not having it in the slightest.

“That is none of your concern,” Kravitz said, and Taako tried not to frown at that. He knew Kravitz wasn’t thrilled about any of this, but something seemed to have really pissed him off again and he couldn’t figure out what. He definitely still had a sore spot about the books Barry had stolen, but it seemed like more than that. Maybe later Taako would try to get him alone again, since he knew he wasn’t going to talk freely with Barry around.

“Oh. Are you sure?” he asked, not getting any response from Kravitz at all this time. Letting out a sigh, Barry turned towards him. “Taako, can you please tell your boyfriend that I’m not gonna like, poison him or anything?” he asked, and Taako felt his face heat up at that.

“He’s not- uh, you don’t gotta worry about it, he’s not actually lying about that,” he said, and yeah they needed to talk soon. They really needed to get their story straight for what they were telling Barry.

“You don’t need to eat?” he pressed, sounding like he didn’t believe it. Which honestly, fair enough. Kravitz somehow managed to look even more irritated at the question, but he nodded.

“I do not,” he said, and with that Barry reluctantly let the topic drop. Of course, that night Kravitz ended up not sleeping again, and when Kravitz didn’t eat breakfast the next day Taako could tell the dude was trying to put the pieces together. He wasn’t sure what buckwild conclusions he was coming to, but he clearly knew something was up. They were lucky to be able to hide it at the tavern for as long as they did, but that just wasn’t viable here.

So after breakfast Taako figured they’d put off talking about this long enough.

“Hey Krav, you got a minute?” he asked, standing up and stretching casually. Him and Barry still didn’t have much of an idea of where to look yet, but they’d only been working for a day. He didn’t have much doubt that they’d find a place to start searching soon. They just had to narrow some shit down first.

“I’m afraid I’m much too busy. Maybe later,” Kravitz said, turning a page of the book he was reading. Taako frowned, and like, Kravitz was a bit of a snarky asshole, yeah. That was part of what he liked about him.

He almost sounded actually pissed now though, which again was understandable. He’d been fighting this plan every step of the way, and honestly it shouldn’t even bother Taako if he was mad or not. As long as he kept looking for a way to free Kravitz he was keeping up his end of the deal, and he  _ said _ he would help him find Lup too.

“Alright, up and at em lazy bones,” he said, standing up anyway. Kravitz still looked irritated, but after a moment he put his book into the pack slung around his shoulders and slowly got to his feet. “We’ll be right back, gotta get some stuff taken care of, you know how it is,” he said to Barry as they started out of the cave. The human nodded, not seeming bothered in the slightest by them leaving.

“Yeah no, do your thing,” he said, waving as they left. Kravitz didn’t say anything as they walked through the dimly lit path through the cave, and once they were outside he just stood there, staring at Taako expectantly.

“So, I figured we should probably talk about some stuff,” Taako said, trying to get this started.

“What is there to discuss?” Kravitz asked, which okay, this really wasn’t going great so far.

“Uh, a lot? We still gotta figure out how to free you, plus Barold in there  _ definitely _ knows something’s up with your body. And, fuck I don’t know, I’m probably missing a bunch of shit. That’s why we gotta talk about it,” he said, and Kravitz still looked annoyed. Irritated, and Taako didn’t know what the fuck he was doing to cause it. He thought the dude would  _ like _ a chance to actually get away from Barry and talk about all of this.

Unless it wasn't Barry he was mad at.

“Has the plan changed?” Kravitz asked, and Taako raised an eyebrow at that.

“What? No, I mean, I guess not?” he said, because at its base the game plan was still the same. Free Kravitz, find Lup. Not really a hard thing to keep straight, except for the whole slowly forgetting about Lup part.

“Then I don’t see what we need to discuss,” Kravitz said, actually turning to head back into the cave. Taako could have let him, just waited out here until the spell forced him to turn around and come back once he realized Taako wasn’t coming. Instead of doing that though he reached forward, grabbing Kravitz by the wrist before he could get away.

“What the fuck’s gotten into you? I know you’re pissed about the necromancy thing but we’re still on the same side here Krav. You gotta work with me,” he said, and Kravitz turned around sharply. He still looked pissed, but there was something else there too. It took him a second to realize it was fear.

_ “How _ do I know that Taako?” he asked, and Taako blinked in confusion.

“What do you mean?”

“How do I know we’re still on the same side? That person in there has broken some of the most sacred laws I’ve been sworn to uphold by my very creation. He nearly  _ destroyed me _ , and not only have you decided to allow him to work freely, he claims that you were once best friends,” Kravitz snapped,pulling his wrist out of Taako's grip. Taako wanted to respond to that, but it was taking him longer than he would have liked to actually find words. When he didn’t manage to say anything right away Kravitz sighed, continuing. His voice was softer now, sadder. “And if it was just a claim that would be fine. I would take your word over his, but it seems that he is telling the truth. You two are friends, aren’t you?” he asked.

“I don’t… remember being friends with him, okay?” Taako started slowly. He was really not a fan of being put on the spot like this, but he was the one who wanted to talk. So now they were gonna talk. “But yeah, you’re right. I think he’s telling the truth, there’s definitely something that’s freakishly familiar about working with him,” he said, because it wasn’t like it would do any good to lie right now.

“Look,” he continued, running a hand through his hair as he tried to get his words in order. “I’m not asking you to trust Barry. I don’t give a shit if you fucking hate the dude, alright? I wouldn’t be too thrilled about being around someone who almost killed me either. I’m just asking that you trust me,” he finished, and he guessed Kravitz had no reason to trust him. Taako could screw him over and he couldn’t do shit about it. Of course Kravitz was worried.

“I  _ want _ to trust you Taako,” Kravitz said after a long stretch of silence. Which, okay, he could deal with that. Taako could work with that for now.

“Then let’s fucking figure this out kemosabe! Come on, we’re having a fucking heart to heart,” he said, grabbing Kravitz’s wrist again to drag him a little ways away from the mouth of the cave. He settled at a patch of ground near the rocky cliff wall that was clear enough to sit down. Kravitz followed along, and even though he was doing his best to still look distant and disgruntled Taako could tell that it wasn't coming as naturally anymore.

“I do not have a heart Taako,” he argued, and Taako snorted at that.

“Well then in that case heart to glowing blue energy orb,” he said, patting Kravitz’s abdomen where he knew his core was under the illusion. Kravitz rolled his eyes, but Taako could tell that his mood wasn’t quite as dour as it was before.

“So uh, how does this ‘heart to heart’ work?” Kravitz asked once they were both sitting down. Which was a good question.

“No fucking clue. Never had one before, as far as I can remember,” he said with a shrug. “We just talk I guess? About our emotions? Are you mad at me?" he asked, and it felt like a weird question to ask. He shouldn't care if Kravitz was mad at him, except he kind of did actually.

"I'm not- I am simply concerned," Kravitz said, somehow managing to sound even more awkward than he was.

"About?" Taako pressed, because he couldn't fix something if he didn't know the actual problem. Kravitz looked conflicted for a moment, and Taako could see him trying to figure out exactly how to word whatever it was that bothered him so much.

"It seems that you have forgotten more than we realized. I do not know how involved you were with this necromancer and his work in the past, but I am simply concerned that when you do retrieve your memories you... you might not enjoy everything you find," he said, and Taako froze at that.

"Oh. I uh, gonna be honest, I hadn't thought about that," Taako admitted. He'd been so focused on trying to remember Lup that he hadn't thought about everything else he might have lost, even when Barry was practically shoving that fact in his face.

"I do not believe you are a bad person Taako, and I am not going to fault you for a past you do not remember. Can you assure me that when you do retrieve your memories my assessment of your character will not change?" Kravitz asked. It was obvious now how this was the thing that had been bothering him all this time. Without even really thinking about it Taako nodded.

"Yeah I mean, as long as you don't hold any delusions that I'm a  _ good _ person either, I don't think that's gonna change. No fucking clue what I did in the past, yeah, but I can promise you from here on out I'm just Taako," he said, and Kravitz actually smiled a little at that.

"I suppose that is good enough," he said, and Taako didn't realize how much of a relief that was. Instead of letting the moment linger he quickly pushed them onto a new topic, because it wasn't like they didn't have a lot to figure out.

"So uh, with that out of the way, I guess we should decide what we’re gonna tell Barry about your body and shit,” he suggested. The small smile Kravitz managed to have dipped the slightest bit at that, but instead of arguing this time he nodded.

“I suppose if you are planning on working with this necromancer for an extended period of time it would make sense to tell him the truth. Since he would not be able to turn you into the royal guard without being recognized for his own crimes you will not be at risk,” he said, and that was a fair point.

“Alright, I’m cool with that if you are,” he said, and Taako hesitated as he remembered the other thing with Barry. The dude had made a lot of assumptions and they hadn’t actually corrected him on any of them. He guessed he was a bit thankful when Kravitz spoke up on that first.

“Revealing my true identity should also do away with the other lies we have been giving him thus far, with me being a prince and the uh, the conclusions that he had drawn about our relationship,” he said, and Taako nodded quickly at that.

“Yeah, no we just gotta set the record straight on all that at once,” he agreed. He paused some before saying his next thought, trying to find the right words to not piss Kravitz off. He knew he wasn’t thrilled in the slightest by the idea the first time he brought it up. “And uh, what about the curse? I know you said you don’t want him messing with any of that, but do we just keep it a secret or what?” he asked. Kravitz was quiet as he seemed to think the question over.

“I do not trust him. I do not want his magic anywhere near me,” he said, and Taako guessed that was fair. “But…” Kravitz continued, surprising him, “I will not stop you from using all the resources at your disposal. Just do not let him cast anything on me,” he said, and Taako grinned as he nodded.

“Not a problem. Honestly like, the dude is familiar, I like him I guess? But like fuck do I trust him, not until I find my sister and she can confirm that he’s not like a secret creep or something,” he said, because that was the truth. Even if he couldn’t remember Lup he knew he could trust her word, and if she vouched for the nerd then yeah, he’d be good to go. Until then there was still some sketchy shit that he wasn’t gonna just ignore.

“He’s a necromancer Taako. The creep part of him is not a secret, he’s very open about it,” Kravitz said bluntly, and Taako couldn’t help but laugh at that.

“Fair enough,” he said. It was quiet for a moment, and for the first time since they ran into Barry it wasn’t an unbearable tense silence. It’d barely been a few days now, but Taako hadn’t realized how much he missed the comfortable quiet between them. “So, we good?” he asked, and he was a little relieved when Kravitz nodded.

“Yes Taako, we’re good,” he said, and he grinned at that. If they were done figuring stuff out, they should probably head back into the cave. Talk through everything with Barold and get back to work looking for Lup. And they would do that, but Taako wasn’t really itching to quite yet. Instead he stretched, shifting so that he was laying on the ground, resting the back of his head against one of Kravitz’s legs. The construct looked down at him with confusion and mild amusement.

“Are you planning on taking a nap?” he asked, and Taako shook his head.

“Nah, just chilling. Not really seeing a rush to go back in there and explain everything to Barold just yet,” he said, and Kravitz raised an eyebrow at that, trying to look questioning but mostly just looking amused. Glancing him over, Taako noticed the bag he had sitting next to him. It had some of the stuff he was keeping confiscated from Barry, but that wasn’t what he was interested in. “Oh, you haven’t gotten a chance to mess with your violin yet, have you?” he asked.

“No,” Kravitz admitted, looking a little confused by the sudden change in topic. “We have been quite busy,” he said, which was fair.

“You should play something,” he suggested. It was a little funny, actually seeing the dude look nervous by the suggestion.

“Are you sure?” he asked, and Taako nodded.

“Absolutely, I’ve got nothing better to do,” he said. Kravitz rolled his eyes at that, but he began to get out the violin, sticking on each of the stone finger attachments he’d made for him as well.

“That is factually untrue, but very well,” he said, lifting the violin up. There was a long moment of quiet as Kravitz adjusted it, before finally setting the bow and starting to play.

The note he played was loud and grating, horribly off key and cutting through the comfortable quiet of the forest.

“Holy shit!” Taako shouted, sitting up quickly. Kravitz immediately put the violin down from its position, a flustered and indignant look on his face.

“I never exactly had an opportunity for lessons! This is my first time trying!” he huffed, and Taako couldn’t help doubling over in laughter. Kravitz was outright pouting now, which did make him feel a  _ little _ bad.

“Sorry! I’m sorry it was just surprising, keep going,” he said, trying to encourage Kravitz. He raised an eyebrow at that, looking skeptical.

“Are you sure that’s a good idea?” he asked and Taako nodded, laying back down with his head on Kravitz’s lap again, really getting comfy this time .

“Of course it is, how else are you supposed to get better?” he asked back, and it was obvious that Kravitz didn’t have an answer to that. After a moment he sighed, picking the violin back up and carefully trying again.

It was not any better than the first attempt, but over the next hour or so Kravitz slowly started to work through the beginner manual that he’d gotten with the violin. At the end of it the notes he played were almost starting to resemble music.

“You’re getting better?” Taako said, well aware it sounded more like a question than anything. Kravitz gave him a withering look, starting to take the stone picks off of his fingers and put the violin back in the case.

“In my defense I never made any claims to be good,” he said, and Taako shrugged at that. A little reluctantly he pushed himself up from where he had curled up against Kravitz’s side so that he was sitting up now. It was still pretty cold, but thankfully the days were starting to get warmer, the worst of winter passed.

“You are getting better though, for real,” he said, not wanting Kravitz to give up on this immediately. Sighing, he looked over at the cave, not actually making any move to stand yet. Kravitz must’ve noticed, speaking up when Taako didn’t move.

“We should return so that you can continue your search with the necromancer,” he said, and Taako knew he was right. He knew that because he trusted Kravitz and it felt right in his chest, there was just one thing confusing him.

“Search for what?” he asked. Instead of answering Kravitz was silent, and when Taako looked over at him he looked real fucking concerned. “Uh, you okay my dude?” he asked. Kravitz nodded, very slowly reaching out and putting a hand on Taako’s shoulder. He had plenty of time to move away, but he kind of had a feeling he shouldn’t.

“For your sister Taako, remember? You’re looking for Lup,” he said in a calm, even voice. Immediately Taako felt his stomach drop, suddenly real thankful for that hand on his shoulder keeping him steady. He tried not to let the panic show as the situation slowly came back to him. They were looking for Lup. Barry was helping and could remember her. They needed to find her before he forgot completely.

“Right, right no of course I remember,” Taako said, his voice shakier than he would have liked. Kravitz didn’t look like he believed him all that much, but thankfully instead of calling him out of his bullshit he nodded.

“Yes well, is there anything we should maybe refresh on before we go inside? To keep our story straight when talking to Barry?” Kravitz asked, and Taako knew what he was doing. It should have been irritating, but he appreciated the excuse.

“Yeah sure, that might be a good idea,” he said, taking another steadying breath as he tried to figure out what to even ask. “How uh, how does Barold in there know my sister again?” he asked, because for the life of him he swore someone had said how. He just couldn’t remember it.

“According to  _ him _ they are engaged to be married,” Kravitz explained, and Taako felt his eyebrows lift up at that. Almost immediately he could remember Barry saying that, but oh damn that was still  _ a thing. _

“Shit, yeah okay, definitely remember that. God that is  _ real _ fucking weird,” he said, Kravitz nodding in agreement.

“Yes I also thought it was rather strange,” he said, and Taako could feel himself starting to calm down now. Easier to remember when he had something concrete like this. When he was thinking about how  _ weird _ it was that Barry was apparently dating his sister. The sister he had, that he was going to find because she was missing.

“We should head in now,” he said after a moment, and thankfully Kravitz didn’t press him any more, instead nodding before standing up. Holding out a hand, he helped Taako to his feet as well.

Taking one more deep breath, Taako tried to tell himself that it wasn’t for much longer now. They had Barry helping them, he only had to hold on for a little bit more, and then they would have her back.

Even though he knew that he should be trying to work on freeing Kravitz, he was glad that kind of had to take a back seat for the moment. He was still going to fix this, he fucking liked Kravitz. He didn’t actually  _ want _ to keep him here against his will.

Still, he was going to miss him once he was gone. It was nice to at least have him while he was going through this.

——

Kravitz followed Taako back into the cave, unable to keep from being somewhat concerned from the recent events. He knew that the elf was forgetting, but there was something unnerving seeing it like that.

At least Taako seemed to pull himself back from it a bit faster this time. Taako was still somewhat shaking as they started into the cave, but by the time they reached the main chamber where the necromancer was still residing he had almost completely gone back to his usual self. It was a relief, even if he was sure a large portion of it was an act.

“You guys took a while,” Barry said as they walked into the cave, which despite being a fair assessment only served to irritate Kravitz.

They had been gone for quite a long time though, much longer than they needed to be. There didn’t seem to be any reason, other than Taako didn’t seem too inclined to head back and Kravitz certainly wasn’t either. He was halfway certain that he would insist on leaving after actually hearing Kravitz try to play violin, and was still sort of surprised that he had stuck it out to allow him some time to practice.

It was nice. Nicer than Kravitz would have expected, especially with how he started off the day. He still had no proof that he could actually trust Taako, but he couldn’t bring himself to not trust him either. He enjoyed the time they spent together too much, saw too much good in Taako under his carefully constructed rough exterior not to believe him.

Which only made Kravitz even more disappointed and annoyed to be back here with the necromancer now.

“What we were doing is none of your concern,” he snapped, only for Taako to nudge his side. Which, right, they were to explain everything to him. He was not looking forward to that.

“What Krav here is trying to say is we had a very long talk and decided it’s about time that we brought you up to speed,” Taako said. It wasn’t what Kravitz had been saying in the slightest, but he let it go for now. The necromancer looked intrigued at that, turning to face them fully now.

“Oh, really? Sweet, fill me in then I guess,” he said. Kravitz glanced down at Taako, who had taken the same moment to look over at him. Which, yes, they had not actually decided on  _ how _ to tell him.

“Okay so uh, Kravitz here is not, well, what most people would consider  _ traditionally _ alive. He’s not  _ not _ alive, but uh, oh this is making it sound like he’s undead, which is not the case either, I checked, but-” Taako said, rambling now. Kravitz sighed, cutting him off.

“Just dispel the illusion Taako,” he said. Taako nodded, and with a quick flick of his wand the illusion dropped. Immediate Barry’s eyes went wide, his chair falling back from under him as he quickly stood up, taking a step back in fear.

“Oh  _ shit! _ You’re a- you’re one of those-” he stuttered out. Kravitz took a slow step forward, and there was some welcomed relief at knowing his face was no longer broadcasting his every emotion.

“So you do remember me then. I wasn’t in very good shape when we last saw each other, I wouldn’t blame you for not recognizing me,” he said. Taako needed this man to help find his sister, so he was not going to bring any harm to him.

That didn’t mean he couldn’t scare what little soul he still had left out of him though.

“You’re the construct from the library,” Barry said, the realization and fear clear in his voice. “I- I’m sorry,” he added, and that wasn’t what he expected. This didn’t sound like pleading, that would have made sense. No, he sounded genuinely remorseful. “I had  _ no idea _ you all were actually alive. I thought it was just an animated armor spell, _ shit,” _ he said.

Kravitz suddenly didn’t like where this had gone.

“That’s not- I am. An animated construct. I am not alive,” he insisted, and Taako sighed heavily next to him.

“You’re gonna have to give him a bit with that one. Still got some shit to work through, you know how it is,” he said, and Kravitz huffed indignantly.

“There is  _ nothing _ to work through!” he said, not that it seemed to sway Taako in the slightest. To his annoyance Barry nodded, seeming to take Taako’s insistence.

“Well alive or not, uh I guess my bad? I’m glad you’re alright?” he said. Kravitz didn’t respond, instead staring down at the man and maybe enjoying watching his uncomfortable squirming more than he should. After a moment a thought seemed to come to him, quickly glancing between him and Taako again. “Wait uh, if that’s the case why is he actually here? I mean, I guess I didn’t know before but quick check, you two are or aren’t like, a thing?” he asked.

This was hell.

“Aren’t!” Taako answered quickly, and Kravitz was at least thankful for that. “That was, you know, a clever ruse. To keep people from suspecting Kravitz of being a construct,” he added, and Kravitz nodded in agreement.

“Oh, okay that makes sense. I mean, I guess either way it’s not any of my business, but uh yeah, why are you working with one of the  _ Queen’s personal constructs _ Taako?” Barry asked.

“Well, that’s kind of a long story,” he stared.

“It’s not,” Kravitz cut in. Taako huffed, continuing like he hadn’t interrupted.

“But before we get into that, why did you think Kravitz was here before?” Taako asked, which wasn’t what Kravitz was expecting. At least Barry had the decency to also look confused by the question.

“I don’t see how this is important,” Kravitz said, not that Taako seemed too bothered.

“He thought you were a prince! I gotta know what fucking explanation he had for  _ that one _ ,” he said. Kravitz wanted to keep insisting that it didn’t matter, but for one he knew that Taako wouldn’t let it go, and it was too inconsequential to really be worth an argument. The second thing was now he was a little curious too.

“Okay so uh,” Barry started, laughing a little nervously. “You’re gonna find this funny, probably? To be fair to me, neither of you corrected me when I thought you were dating,” he said, and okay, Kravitz was getting less and less curious.

“A clever ruse,” Taako cut in again, and Barry nodded.

“Yeah uh, real clever,” he muttered, some disbelief in his voice. “Anyway, what I  _ thought _ was going on here was that like, the prince had decided to run off and elope with you or something. Was also concerned he was like, cursed or something, with the not eating or sleeping,” Barry finished.

Kravitz knew he didn’t have any expression right now, but he still for some reason felt the need to hide his face. He expected Taako to start laughing at the accusation, but instead he was quiet for what felt like much too long.

“You thought we were  _ married?!” _ he finally asked, sounding just as mortified as Kravitz felt.

“Or something!” Barry said, which did nothing to help this situation.

“We’re not. I am not a prince,” Kravitz said, feeling the need to make that clear.

“Yeah, I know that now bud,” Barry said, and this whole thing was just a mess.

He wondered how they had possibly pretended to be dating well enough for Barry to think they were married. They had barely been pretending in front of him, honestly Kravitz hadn’t been acting at all.

It was probably best not to think about that. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I can say that Barry is only slightly disappointed to have to throw away the elaborate backstory he made for Taako while he was on his own, where with his memory wiped he got a job working as a cook or server in the palace, ended up getting close to and falling in love with the prince, who then revealed that he is kept a secret from the kingdom because of his Terrible Curse and they run away together to find a way to get back Taako's memories and break Kravitz's curse. 
> 
> as always, thanks for reading and I hope you enjoyed!


	15. Developments

As much as Kravitz wished they were done with this conversation and pretend it never happened, they had not actually gotten to the point yet. Which meant they all had to keep talking.

“So yeah, none of what you thought was accurate. I think we can just state that for across the board,” Taako said, and there was some comfort in hearing the elf sound as flustered as he felt. There was even more comfort in ignoring it all together though and not thinking about it for the moment.

He could think about it later, if he absolutely had to. For now he just wanted to pretend it wasn’t happening.

“Alright then, I’ll take y’alls word for it, that’s some pretty solid evidence. I do think I would have heard if we had a secret prince who was also a construct,” Barry said, and Kravitz supposed that the one good thing about this was that he did not have to make any further claims about being royalty. Technically they never had confirmed it, the necromancer just assumed. “But uh, in that case back to my follow up question. Taako why in the world are you traveling around with… him?” Barry asked again.

“Okay, so that’s the long story part,” Taako began, but before he could actually get to whatever explanation he was planning on giving Kravitz cut in.

“He cast a spell similar to planar binding on me. I am now sworn to protect Taako. We have yet to figure out how to undo the spell. The end,” he said, receiving a very annoyed look from Taako.

“I mean, yes okay I guess that covers the important bits. It’s a little more complicated than that though, I didn’t  _ mean _ to cast the spell,” Taako added.

“You meant to cast the spell. You did not mean for it to last as long as it has,” Kravitz corrected, Taako giving him an outright withering look for that one. It was clear he couldn’t argue with it though, letting out a frustrated huff before shrugging.

“Yes, okay if you want to be  _ pedantic _ about it, my point still stands though. None of this was intentional,” he said, and Kravitz simply shrugged. When he looked at the necromancer he could see that he was taking this all in, trying to wrap his mind around the spell Taako had cast.

“So okay, you’re stuck protecting Taako?” he asked, and Kravitz did miss being able to roll his eyes when his illusion wasn’t here.

“Yes, as previously stated,” he said as dryly as possible. The necromancer ignored that though, trying to think through the predicament they were in. This was part of the reason why he had not wanted to tell him about his true identity. He had a feeling that Barry would immediately try to help them fix it.

“How long ago did you cast the spell? It should only last a month if-” he said, but before Kravitz could cut him off Taako beat him to it, shaking his head.

“Been almost three months now, thing’s not going away on its own, that’s for sure,” he said, and now Barry was starting to look concerned.

“Have you tried to counterspell it? Or maybe a restoration would-”

“Yeah no, we’ve troubleshooted all of that. Every counterspell I could find,  _ both _ lesser and greater restoration, even a few careful dispel magic stuff. Don’t want anything too strong there though, don’t want to go erasing his whole existence and all that,” Taako said, and the gravity of the situation seemed to dawn on Barry at that.

“So what, are you just… stuck with him?” he asked, and Kravitz huffed at that.

“I would say I am the one stuck right now,” he argued, and he’d mostly been annoyed at Barry for that. He felt bad when a flash of guilt ran across Taako’s face at his words, although there was really no reason for him to feel bad. He was only speaking the truth.

He had realized some time ago that he had stopped behaving and feeling logically when it came to Taako though, so he supposed this was no surprise.

“No, we’re fixing this. We think it’s gotta be some sort of curse, it’s the only thing that explains the length and how damn stubborn it is. So, we’re looking into curse shit, that’s actually what we were doing when we found you,” Taako explained, sounding determined.

“Oh, yeah I was kinda wondering what the fuck you guys were up to,” Barry said. Kravitz supposed he could not blame the man for wondering, even if it was not any of his business. Taako nodded, a seriousness to his expression that Kravitz wasn’t used to.

“So that’s our whole deal. Obvious as far as time limits go finding… finding my sister is the more urgent of the tasks, but I got Krav into this mess and I’m not gonna just throw all that work out the window while we do our own thing,” he said, and Barry nodded quickly.

“Yeah no of course. I might have some stuff that could help if you want? Curses aren’t really my thing, but ya know, I’ve got books,” Barry said, gesturing towards the cases lining the cave walls around them.

“Stolen books,” Kravitz cut in, a flash of guilt across the necromancers face now.

“Not- not  _ all _ of them,” he defended once again. It still was not a very good defense in Kravitz’s opinion.

With that though it was already getting late in the day. Kravitz hadn’t realized just how much time he and Taako had spent doing what amounted to nothing as they lazed around outside of the cave. He couldn’t blame Taako and Barry for wanting to get straight into their research now that it was nearly noon.

As they worked it really was a relief to not have to be beholden to his illusion anymore. As much as he liked it, there was something comforting in not having to appear so alive in front of someone like Barry Bluejeans. It meant he couldn’t tell what he was thinking. It meant he could stand in the corner as the two worked, letting his mind wander without having to worry about his expressions giving away any of the paths his thoughts decided to wander down.

And as much as he really didn’t want to, he probably needed to think about a few things.

He cared about Taako. Admitting that on its own was somewhat terrifying. It wasn’t that caring was scary. He was designed to care, he was fairly sure of that. What was the point of a royal guard if they did not have a desire to protect their Queen? What motivation would he have to ensure this world was kept safe and fair if he did not at his core care about the people who lived in it?  _ Caring  _ wasn’t the problem.

It was how easily he could see his care for Taako coming into conflict with his duty to protect his Queen. With his purpose to see her laws upheld and make sure that as many people as he could were kept safe. Not just one person.

What was terrifying was that Kravitz no longer knew which he would choose if he  _ had _ to make a choice. If when one day he was finally freed and returned to his Queen’s side that he would be able to go back to how things were before.

He tried to imagine the worst case scenario. What he would choose if he was truly tested.

Kravitz imagined himself back at the palace, with his queen again. Back where he was meant to be, content and filled with a purpose knowing that he was doing good. No longer bound by the magic Taako had set on him, welcomed back with grace and relief because even if other people found it hard to see, found her unnerving or cold or uncaring, he knew how much the Queen truly treasured each one of them. Treasured  _ him. _

And then he imagined it all going wrong. Of a night much like the one where the necromancer had broken in. Instead though, this time there were two thieves. Necromancers of the highest order, people who had broken his Queen’s laws so severely that they could not be allowed to live, let alone let free.

Kravitz tried to imagine what he would do in that moment. If he found himself facing against Taako, with every reason to follow his Queen’s orders. He tried to imagine himself making that move, following through and doing what he needed to in order to keep the Queen safe. To keep the  _ world _ safe.

And he couldn’t.

He was fairly sure that if backed into a corner, he would not be able to kill Taako, even with the spell lifted.

And that was  _ terrifying. _

Kravitz tried to push the thoughts from his mind, since there wasn’t anything he could do about them now. There wasn’t even any way to be sure that something like that would come about. It was entirely possible, perhaps even probable that once Taako freed him from this spell they would not ever encounter each other again. They could each go back to their lives as they were before, and perhaps even better than before. Perhaps Taako would have his sister back as well, and Kravitz could be even more content knowing that Taako was happy.

For some reason, that future did nothing to improve his mood either.

Over the next few days his mind kept on wandering back to these thoughts, despite his best attempts to avoid them. Unfortunately, there was not much to keep him entertained and occupied. Taako and Barry had begun putting their full attention into searching for Lup, and when they weren’t, they were looking into a way to fix this curse.

Kravitz truly was thinking of it as a curse now. If he was never hit with this spell, had never been forced to spend so much time with Taako, so much time away from where he was supposed to be, none of this would have been a problem. It never would have even occurred to him to desire more than what he had before.

So neither of those two were any use for occupying his time (and Barry was the  _ last person _ Kravitz would want to spend time with anyway). His old method of occupying his mind, the books he had gathered when traveling around with Taako, had started to prove… problematic, lately.

He could not place a specific reason why, but the romance genre he had found rather entertaining and simple before was suddenly much too much to think about. Many of the books were written with simple characters, and Kravitz knew what the point of that was. These books were often written for escapism and wish fulfillment. The characters were simple so that the reader could project their own personality and experiences onto them.

At first, Kravitz had simply liked it because it made the characters easier to understand. He did not have to think very hard as he read them, and he was well aware that his experiences with people were not exactly robust. Having it all pared down in this way was comforting.

He felt that he had a much better grasp on people now than at the start of all of this. The characters in these books were still comforting in their ease, but now Kravitz could start to understand these books more for their intended purpose. It was easier to see them as that source of wish fulfillment now that he had experience to actually project.

And that was  _ not  _ something he wished to think about right now. So he could not read these books.

The only thing he really could do now that helped keep his mind from overflowing with all these new thoughts and fears and complicated emotions he had no desire to untangle was the violin Taako had gifted him. He was still not very good, he was fairly certain that Taako and Barry were not very fond of him practicing it so often. He was indeed getting better though. Nowhere near the skill that some of the bards he would listen to the squares Taako would perform in as well, but better.

Right now, it was the only thing he had control over, so it would have to be enough.

——

After the disaster that had been actually explaining to Barry the whole situation with Kravitz, things started to fall into a sort of routine. Taako didn’t exactly  _ like _ how long they were spending just theorizing, but he could understand why it was important. That didn’t make him feel any less anxious about wanting to get out there. To be physically looking instead of just looking up points in a map to try and see which was the most likely.

By the end of the week he was real fucking impatient, but they had started to have a breakthrough. Barry was sure to talk about Lup a lot as they worked, and part of that just seemed to be what he was like, it was obvious how fucking in love he was. Taako was pretty sure the other part was to keep reminding him of what they were doing though. Make it so that every time her name slipped his mind he didn’t have to keep asking.

The constant rambling wasn’t exactly jogging any memories as far as Taako could tell, at least none from before he had lost her. Something he had said the other day had reminded him of one weird thing though.

“Lup doesn’t hurt people, or at least not if they don’t deserve it. Still, her specialty is evocation. Anyone or anything that would want to try and hold her somewhere would have to be incredibly powerful not to get burned to a crisp,” Barry said, mulling over a map. Taako jolted some from where he’d been leaning over a book, a sudden thought there.

“Evocation? So like fire?” he asked, and Barry nodded. It probably wouldn’t have anything to do with anything, but they were just throwing shit out there at this point. “There was a town we passed through a while ago, Armos? The whole place had been burned to the ground. You don’t think Lup would have anything to do with that, do you?” he asked, and Barry was frowning in concentration now. Pulling over a map, Taako could see him scanning it until he found Armos.

“I mean, Lup wouldn’t burn down a whole town. Was there anything else that stuck out at you?” he asked, and Taako shrugged.

“It just… felt familiar. I coulda sworn I’d been there before,” he said, and he knew it wasn’t much of a lead. Still, it had stuck with him and Barry seemed willing enough to treat it as something worth looking into.

They still weren’t sure what happened at the town, which honestly made the whole thing even more suspicious. A disaster that big should have been huge news, even with how old it seemed to be now. It wouldn’t have just been forgotten like it seemed to be. Using Armos, they were able to make a vague parameter of where the forest Taako could vaguely remember walking through might be. They were getting to the point where soon they were just gonna have to go out and look.

“So I was thinking we start looking in the Frost Grove. It’s a little on the edge of likely places, but the natural cold there might be conducive to whatever has her locked- ugh, whatever has her locked up,” Barry said, wincing slightly and raising his voice over Kravitz’s playing. Which was fair, the dude had been kinda on a roll with the thing lately. By which Taako meant he could just play it for fucking hours while they tried to work, and it was kinda annoying as shit. Or at least, it would be if Taako didn't find it kinda endearing.

He wasn’t going to be the one to tell him to stop for sure. One, he kinda made a big deal about making sure Kravitz had hobbies, and two it was a little funny seeing how annoyed Barry was with the whole thing. Taako knew Kravitz could not stand the man in the slightest and seemed to be trying his best to make sure the feelings were mutual.

“Sounds like a plan,” he said simply, and Barry nodded.

“Yeah uh, it’s a bit of a ways but if we just- ah, if we take time to stock up we can go when it’s not- not as cold and- hey Krav, bud? You mind?” Barry snapped, finally breaking from the increasingly loud tone Kravitz took with the scales he was practicing. The construct barely paused in his playing, not looking up as he answered.

“No, continue with your planning,” he said, playing the instrument again and it was hard not to laugh at that. Or at least, it was until Barry turned towards him.

“Taako, can’t you do something?” he asked, his voice lower like he was hoping Kravitz wouldn’t be able to hear him. Taako shrugged heavily, having already decided a while ago that he was  _ not _ going to get in the middle of this feud.

“Not really? Krav’s his own person, the spell only says he’s gotta keep me from dying, not listen to what I say,” he said. Barry looked frustrated for a moment, before taking a deep breath and turning back towards Kravitz.

“Hey Kravitz, you think you could maybe cool it on the violin for a bit? It makes it kind of hard to think,” Barry asked, and Taako couldn’t say he was super surprised when Kravitz kept playing.

“Perhaps if you were smarter it would be so difficult,” he said, and Taako  _ did _ end up snorting at that.

His laugh was suddenly cut off when Barry clutched the side of his head in pain.

“Ow! Shit,” he yelped, and at least that was enough to get Kravitz to stop playing the violin.

“What’s up? You good?” Taako asked. After a moment Barry nodded, pulling his hand away. When he looked at it there wasn’t any blood or anything, and the side of his head he’d been holding didn’t look injured.

“Yeah, I’m fine. There was just like, a sharp pain in the side of my head. It’s gone now,” he said, and Taako couldn’t help but frown in concern. Sudden bursts of pain weren’t typically a good thing. “I probably just have a headache,” he added, the statement a little pointed over at Kravitz.

“Perhaps your necromancy is finally catching up to you,” the construct muttered. Almost immediately Barry winced again.

“What is  _ doing _ that?” he snapped, before turning towards Taako. “You don’t feel anything, do you?” he asked, and he quickly shook his head.

“I’m fine dog. What’s it feel like? You think it’s like, a bug biting you or something?” he asked. He didn’t see anything like that flying around, but it was the first thing to come to his head. Barry shook his head though, still looking irritated.

“No, it’s like something keeps shocking my brain with an electric pulse,” he grumbled, which didn’t make too much sense to Taako.

“It’s calling trying to think,” Kravitz muttered, his quiet voice carrying in the cave. Immediately Barry looked pained again, spinning on Kravitz now.

“Would you  _ stop _ that?” he snapped, before pausing. He was clearly thinking something, but Taako couldn’t figure out what. “Wait, no, do that again,” he said. Kravitz cocked his head to the side very slowly, looking as skeptical as he could without his face up.

“Would I do what again?” he asked.

“Insult me,” Barry answered immediately.

“Uh, no. I do not think I will,” Kravitz said, sounding thoroughly creeped out. Which yeah, Taako couldn’t blame him for that one. Kind of a weird request.

“Yeah, that’s a little bit of a weird request there Barold,” Taako said, and Barry nodded.

“I know, but it’s important. I’m testing something,” he said, and Kravitz had stood back up at this point. There was something kind of funny about a seven foot tall metal guard looking so thoroughly and entirely uncomfortable.

“I do not wish to be a part of any  _ test _ you might be conducting and I gave you no such permission to use me as such,” Kravitz huffed, and Taako couldn’t blame him for getting pissed about that. Even still, he should probably jump in before Barry actually managed to make Kravitz angry enough to attack or something. Before he could though the man started again.

“Why not? What’s wrong with my tests?” he asked, and Taako could see that it was a leading question from a mile away. Maybe Kravitz could too, but that didn’t stop him from answering it.

“Would you like a list? It starts with nearly killing me and doesn’t have an end because you seem determined to continue to add onto it,” he snapped. Again there was a flash of pain across Barry’s face, and this time when he stopped clutching his head his nose was bleeding slightly. That at least seemed to be enough to give Kravitz pause. “...what is going on?” he asked, suspicion lacing his voice.

For Barry’s part now that he wasn’t doubled over in pain, he was smiling with excitement.

“Holy shit! This is- I’ve never seen anything like this before. Oh, wait a minute, lemme just-” Barry said, running off to start searching through one of his book cases. Glancing over at Kravitz, he seemed to be at just as much of a loss as Taako was.

“Uh, you got an idea there Barold? Care to share it with the class?” he asked. Barry nodded, apparently finding the book he was looking for, rushing back and flipping through it until he found the page he wanted. Leaning over, Taako frowned as he read what he was pointing at.

“Vicious mockery? The cool as hell bard thing where they can dunk on someone to death?” he asked, and Barry nodded.

“Yes! And I’m pretty sure Kravitz is  _ casting _ it!” he said, and Kravitz froze at that.

“I- that is not possible. As a construct I am incapable of performing any sort of advanced magic,” he argued, and he almost sounded scared by the idea. Taako started reading over the spell more in depth, and it seemed to match what was going on there. But that didn’t…

“That’s why it’s so incredible! I wasn’t sure how to take Taako’s assertion that you had managed to develop past the constraints of a regular animated soldier, but this is proof. If you’ve managed to start channeling your  _ own _ magic, then who knows what else you can do!” Barry said, and Taako could start to feel his excitement as well. He fucking  _ knew _ Kravitz was a person.

That excitement died when he turned to look back at Kravitz, who was taking a few cautious steps back from Barry. Even without a face, the dude somehow managed to look  _ terrified. _

“I’m not…” he started, the words dying as he spoke. Barry didn’t even seem to notice, quickly continuing with his own theories.

“We have to see how far this goes! Are you developing your own soul? I mean, I’m a necromancer, souls are basically my whole field of study but we know  _ so little  _ about how they’re actually formed. I didn’t even know a nonliving creature  _ could  _ develop one!” Barry continued.

“Hey, hey now hold on there kemosabe!” Taako said, quickly jumping between Barry and Kravitz. He was pretty sure Kravitz was a hair away from either punching the dude or running away. “This is all real cool, but maybe we should take it a little slow, okay? It’s a lot to take in, ya know?” he said, and it seemed like that finally got Barry to notice how fucking freaked Kravitz looked, quickly nodding.

“Right, yeah no that’s uh, however you want to take it bud. It’s your soul,” he said, and honestly that didn’t seem to help as much as Barry hoped it would.

“Hey, you wanna maybe get some fresh air Krav?” Taako asked, and the construct nodded.

“I don’t breathe,” he said, “but perhaps some new scenery might be good,” he said. That was enough permission as Taako needed, starting to head out to the front of the cave. Thankfully Barry seemed to get the hint, staying behind. Once they were outside Taako headed over to the spot they had hung out at last time, Kravitz quickly sitting down in the small clearing. Taako wasn’t sure what the fuck to say, so for a while it was quiet, just the occasional ambient sound of the forest around them.

Kravitz eventually was the one to speak first.

“I’m not… he’s wrong. There must be some other explanation,” he said finally. Taako figured he shouldn’t be surprised by that response, but he didn’t have to like it very much either.

“What if it’s not wrong though? How else could you manage to cast that spell?” he asked, and Kravitz shook his head.

“He must be wrong,” he insisted, and Taako sighed. This wasn’t exactly going well.

“What’s so bad about having a soul anyway? I don’t see how that’s not just like, an upgrade,” he said, and Kravitz sighed. If he was trying to convince him he wasn’t a person sighing forlornly really wasn’t the way to do it.

“It’s not bad, it’s just… not me either,” he said. Taako really wanted to keep pushing the dude, because now it was obvious just how wrong he was. It was like Barry said before, now they had  _ proof. _

But maybe it wasn’t the best time. If Kravitz needed some time to process all this shit, he guessed he couldn’t blame him for that.

“Well, if you ever decide this is you, I’m here if you need help learning all about your new soul. Barry would probably know more about the details and shit, but he sounded a little  _ too _ excited,” he said, and Kravitz shook his head firmly at that.

“Yeah no, he can keep his distance whether or not I have a soul,” he said. Taako couldn’t argue with that, and after a moment he snorted in amusement.

“I can’t believe your first spell was vicious mockery, and you weren’t even  _ trying _ to cast it. That’s some petty ass shit right there,” he said, and Kravitz somehow managed to look very offended at that.

“A reminder that he nearly  _ killed me, _ I think I deserve to be a little petty,” he said, and Taako grinned at that. It seemed to improve the dude’s move at least someone, which was nice.

“Fair enough,” he said, and it was quiet again. Taako wasn’t by any means a patient person, but he figured he could at least try with this.

If Kravitz needed to take some time to accept all of this, he could stand to wait.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> the idea of kravitz learning he has magic by accidentally repeatedly casting viscous mockery on Barry multiple times was something that i was very excited to get to for quite a long time now. it just makes me happy. 
> 
> as always, thanks for reading and i hope you enjoyed!


	16. Private Conversations

Taako said he was going to give Kravitz time to figure out how to feel about the whole probably having a soul thing. Even if he wasn't a good friend, he at least wasn’t going to be an exceptionally shitty one and push him on something he straight up said he wasn’t comfortable with yet. Even if it was frustrating as all hell, it wasn’t going to help Kravitz realize he was a person if he didn’t treat him like one.

So Taako wasn’t going back on any of that. He wasn’t going against any other deals he’d made with Kravitz either. He  _ said _ he could ask Barry for help on removing the curse, or in his words ‘use all available resources.’

This was fine, even if it felt a little weird with how he had to go about it.

“Hey Krav, stay in this cave. Barold and I are gonna go down the hall for a minute to talk in private,” he said, and Kravitz wasn’t in his disguise now. He hadn’t been wearing it much in the cave to begin with, and not at all since the incident with the vicious mockery. Even still he could tell he wasn’t happy with that request.

“Why?” he asked, and if he was trying to not sound extremely put out by the suggestion he wasn’t doing a very good job.

“We are?” Barry asked as well, sounding confused. Which okay he maybe should have mentioned wanting to talk to Barry  _ to Barry _ at some point, but Kravitz would have caught on and they’d have to have this whole conversation anyway.

“Yes, we are. And just cause, maybe sometimes I want to have a conversation without you listening in on my every word,” he said, and that probably wasn’t the best way to put it. Sure, it absolutely did get a little suffocating sometimes. Had it been anyone but Kravitz he would have probably gone insane being stuck with them for so long.

No wait, not just Kravitz. There was someone else who would be fine, someone…

“Uh, you okay bud?” Barry asked, and Taako hadn’t realized how deeply he’d started to frown as he thought. He nodded, although he wasn’t sure how convincing it was.

“Yeah, it’s all good,” he said, and it was obvious that Barry definitely wasn’t buying it.

“So did you want to talk to me about Lup, or…?” he trailed off, and Taako tried not to flinch at her name. Right, Lup was the other one where it would be fine. He nodded, even though that wasn’t actually it, it was probably a good excuse for Kravitz.

“Right, yeah Lup, that’s it. Listen Krav it’ll just be for a bit, um, oh wait I got it!” he said, and this plan would help to give him more evidence anyway. Before Kravitz could ask what he was doing, Taako quickly cast message, thinking  _ ‘You read me my dude?’ _

From the way Kravitz jolted suddenly, he guessed it worked.

“And that will accomplish…?” he trailed off, still not sounding pleased with any of this. He also didn’t sound like he was going to argue with him on it much longer though.

“I’ll check in every couple of minutes to let you know I’m good. You can reply too if you need to check in or lemme know if we’re taking too long for the spell,” he explained. There was a moment where Kravitz was quiet, seeming to think it over before nodding reluctantly.

“I suppose that would be worth a try,” he said, and Taako nodded at that. Grabbing Barry by the arm he started pulling the dude out of the main chamber of the cave.

“Alright be right back! I’ll send in a check in three minutes!” he said, just catching Kravitz nod as he rounded the corner with Barry in tow. He went a bit further, until he was pretty sure their voices wouldn’t carry all the way back to the chamber before letting go and turning on Barry. “You gotta help me,” he said.

“What’s wrong? Are the memories getting worse?” Barry asked, and Taako shook his head, then he paused because that wasn’t really true.

“Well, yeah they are but that’s not actually what I was talking about. I lied about wanting to talk about Lup so Kravitz wouldn’t ask questions,” he said. He couldn’t quite remember who Lup was at the moment but he knew she was important, he just had to keep her name in his mind as much as he could.

“Oh, help you with what then?” Barry asked, and Taako took a breath as he tried to figure out how to say this. He’d been mulling it over in his head for a while now but it still felt difficult to put into words.

“You said it yourself, Kravitz has a soul, right?” he asked, and he could see the intrigue light up in Barry’s eyes at the subject. Yeah, he couldn’t blame Kravitz for being a little uncomfortable with all that attention.

“Theoretically, yes, but like I said before we know so little about how a soul could be produced like that it’s impossible to say for sure whether what he possesses is actually an honest to the gods  _ soul  _ without further research,” he said, and Taako nodded quickly at that.

“But he’s a  _ person, _ no matter what the weird technicalities are,” he said.  _ ‘We good still,’ _ Taako sent to Kravitz, not wanting to push how long he went with giving in a response. Since he knew he didn’t trust Barry as far as he could throw him, he didn’t want to agitate the spell.

_ ‘Heard,’ _ Kravitz replied simply.

“I mean, yeah? I kinda thought that was obvious from the get go,” Barry said, and Taako couldn’t argue with that one. “Still not sure what the issue is with that though,” he said, and right, he should probably get to the actual point.

“I just- I told him I would find a way to free him from that  _ stupid fucking spell _ I put on him and I’m still lost! I’ve been staring at it too long, I need some fresh eyes,” he said. Barry nodded, although there was a weird look on his face that Taako couldn’t really place.

“Of course, I mean I already told you I’d help however I can,” he said, and Taako knew that.

“Yeah for sure, just uh, would kinda like to kick it up a notch if we can. I know looking for… for…” it was on the tip of his tongue, who the fuck was he missing. “My sister! I know we’re busy with trying to find her but if we could kick some stuff Krav’s way I just think that would be… good,” he said, and Barry nodded.

“Sure thing buddy,” he said, and Taako wasn’t sure he liked the look he was giving him. “Just uh, was wondering something, and this isn’t me disagreeing with you, because I definitely think Kravitz is his own person like you said,” he started, and Taako nodded hesitantly.

“Uhuh,” he said, sending message again to Kravitz quickly he thought  _ ‘Everything safe. How you holding up?’ _

_ ‘Fine. How much longer do you plan to speak?’ _ Kravitz asked back immediately.

‘ _ I think we’re wrapping up soon,’  _ he replied.

“Why did you need to like, bring that up? The soul thing. Because I was kinda under the impression you were always planning on returning Kravitz, soul or not,” Barry asked asked. Taako opened his mouth to answer, but closed it again when he couldn’t actually think of the words to explain why it was important. It  _ was _ important though.

“Why wouldn’t I mention it?” he asked eventually, which was decidedly not an answer to Barry’s question. He seemed to know that as well, giving a little sigh.

“I suppose that’s fair. Listen Taako, I know you don’t remember but you’re still my best friend, and so if there’s anything you ever want to or need to ya know,  _ talk about, _ I’m here for you,” he said, and Taako frowned at that.

“Well, there’s nothing I need to talk about, so thanks but no thanks, we’re good on that front,” he said. And yeah, Taako did not care for how fucking little Barry looked like he believed a word he was saying.

“Absolutely nothing?” he asked, and Taako nodded sharply at that.

“Na-da,” he said, and Barry nodded thoughtfully at that.

“In that case, is it cool if I ask a kinda kookoo bananna’s question?” he asked, and Taako was incredibly suspicious. This was a trap, he was certain it was a trap but not letting him ask the question felt too much like admitting defeat.

“Sure, I don’t see why not,” he said, and Barry nodded easily at that.

“Are you interested in Kravitz? You know, like, romantically?”

Oh nope okay he was right this was a  _ trap. _

“Where did you get  _ that _ idea?!” he asked, maybe screeching a little bit.  _ ‘Everything’s still perfectly fine!’ _ he sent in a message immediately. It had been a bit from the last one and he didn’t want to risk Kravitz having heard him shout.

_ ‘You sound distressed,’  _ Kravitz responded, which definitely wasn’t what Taako needed right now.

_ ‘I’m wicked not. Everything’s fine, give us five more minutes and we’ll be back,’ _ he insisted. He was pretty sure Kravitz wasn’t happy about this, but he didn’t argue.

“Taako, I thought you two were  _ secretly married _ for a good bit there. It’s not exactly subtle,” Barry said, and Taako didn’t know how this kept managing to get worse.

“Okay but Kravitz’s not-” he started, cutting himself off.

“He’s a person, you just said so yourself,” Barry filled in, shrugging all casually like this was no big deal.

“I was going to say he’s not my type,” Taako muttered, and that was maybe a lie in multiple ways. The biggest of which being that Kravitz wasn’t strictly  _ not _ his type. If they were going on personality alone then it kinda felt like Kravitz was very much his type. He was so much his type that Taako might have acknowledged the small crush he’d somehow managed to develop on the construct when trying to sleep once or twice before.

It was one thing to admit in the safety of his mind that these were some feelings he sure was having and another to actually fucking say it to another person.

“Oh well, that’s good news for me then. I mean you’re free to do your own thing, I’m certainly not gonna stop you, but I am engaged to your sister, and Kravitz  _ hates _ me. If you two ever got together that would make family dinners pretty awkward,” Barry said, and Taako couldn’t tell if he was being sincere or trying to goad him into admitting that he was lying. Probably the latter, which was frustrating. Taako wasn’t going to fall for another trap though.

“Yeah that’s great. Anyway just fucking, see what you can look into on removing curses if you can, okay? I owe it to Kravitz to get him home,” he insisted. Thankfully Barry nodded, seeming content to let the subject drop with that. Not saying anything else Taako started back to the main chamber of the cave where Kravitz was thankfully still waiting. He really fucking hoped his face wasn’t anywhere near as dark as it had felt when talking to Barry, and his one solace was that it was always kept pretty dim in the cave.

“Alright, looks like that was a success! I was gone almost ten minutes, we just gotta give you updates,” he said, and Kravitz nodded.

“Yes, that is an improvement,” Kravitz agreed, and if he sounded a little stiffer than usual Taako told himself he didn’t care. He deserved to have some time away from Kravitz, and Kravitz deserved to have some time away from him! As soon as they figured out how to break this curse they could stay away from each other permanently and everything would go back to normal.

Kravitz would go home, and they’d never see each other again.

It was only settling in now how much Taako  _ didn’t _ want that. He wasn’t sure at what point he’d stopped being frustrated by Kravitz being around all the time and started enjoying it. When the clank of his movements and the light from his core had stopped being annoying ticks and started being comforting assurances of his presence. Didn’t know when the stupid crush had started to develop into something more.

But it didn’t matter, because he promised Kravitz that he would get him home.

And he was going to keep that promise no matter what.

——

Kravitz didn’t know what to think anymore.

He wanted to ignore it. To pretend it never happened and that there must be some mistake, because that way was easier. He didn’t have to rethink everything if it had just never happened, he wouldn’t have to question anything that way. If he pretended everything was fine he could keep going about like everything was fine. Just waiting until Taako managed to undo the curse, and then go back to his station protecting the Queen without a second thought.

As much as he wanted to though, he couldn’t bring himself to actually forget. To pretend that it didn’t happen, because it did. He had cast those spells, he performed his own magic, which was something that as a construct he should not have been capable of doing.

But he did.

And he knew that meant something.

Taako wasn’t saying it, but Kravitz could tell that he agreed with the necromancer’s assertion of what it meant. That he was becoming a true person, developing a soul. He supposed he shouldn’t be surprised by that, since Taako had been under the impression for some time that Kravitz was a person, long before this happened. Of course he would just see it as more evidence that he was right.

And maybe…

Kravitz still felt like it was too early to say for certain. He did not trust Barry, but the necromancer did know what he was talking about when he said that nothing like this had ever been observed before. There was no reason for it to develop here, with him. It didn’t make any sense.

But a lot of things about him weren’t making a lot of sense lately.

He felt like he had a right to be annoyed when Taako insisted on going off to speak with the necromancer  _ alone. _ The one thing he needed to do out here was protect him, and he still insisted on going off and doing demonstrably dangerous things. Of course, Barry had made no move to hurt Taako in all the time they’d been working together so far, and Taako had checked in often enough to ensure Kravitz that he was fine. In the end they both came back in one piece, and Kravitz told himself that was the only thing that mattered.

If it was just the once, Kravitz figured he could have ignored it. But instead it kept happening. From that point on almost daily Taako would go off with Barry, and it was only for ten or fifteen minutes at a time but he would have no idea what they were talking about. They always returned fine, so there shouldn’t be an issue.

And there wasn’t. There was a part of Kravitz that enjoyed the short breaks to actually be  _ alone _ for a few moments. If it was just that Kravitz would have welcomed them, as long as Taako continued to return safely.

But it wasn’t just going off to talk with Barry. They were working together near constantly now. Whatever friendship had been erased with Taako’s memories seemed to be building back up rapidly. They bounced off each other effortlessly, and Kravitz couldn’t begin to follow the magic they spoke about.

He didn’t understand why they needed to keep going off to talk. It wasn’t like he could understand what they did most of the time anyway.

He wondered what Taako didn’t want him to hear about.

He wondered why Taako seemed to be almost ignoring him entirely now. Did he simply enjoy Barry’s friendship better? Or was it something else.

Was he unsettled by the new development with his magic? Was he angry at him for not immediately agreeing with his assertion that he was developing a soul? Or was he seen as not as useful to him if there was a possibility of him truly becoming his own person?

Did he do something  _ wrong? _

It made no sense, and it made even less sense that Kravitz was upset by these questions. This wasn’t something he should care about.

_ Taako _ wasn’t something he should care about.

Kravitz was alone right now. Taako and Barry had gone off for what was now a daily meeting, and he supposed that was why his thoughts had decided to spiral as much as they had. He wasn’t used to being alone anymore. It used to be his default state, solitary patrolling the castle for most of this time, broken up whenever the Queen decided to come speak with him in the garden or wanted his personal security while she conducted business. That happened often, but it didn’t offset the long nights spent wandering the castle, his mind as ease while he watched for threats.

Now being alone meant thinking. It meant going over every bit of interaction he’d had lately and trying to decipher some hidden code that would make it all make sense.

If this was what being alive was like he had no idea how anyone could possibly stand it.

Taako’s voice echoed in his head with the message spell, assuring him of his safety and that they would be returning soon. It had been a rather short excursion today it seemed, and he sent back a simple acknowledgment.

Kravitz was fairly sure that he had reached a dead end in figuring out what was going on by himself. He did not have the experience to understand what was happening, he did not know what it felt like to be alive, to have a soul. He did not  _ want _ to think about what many of the emotions he’d been feeling lately actually meant enough to dissect them.

If he actually wanted to understand what was going on, he needed help.

But he couldn’t talk to Taako about this. It was another one of those things that made no sense. Taako should have been the logical choice. He trusted Taako, he was alive and had a soul, and he was also the center of most of his questions. The best course of action would be to go directly to him for his answers.

Except that he couldn’t do that. He didn’t know why but every time he thought about going up to Taako and asking him if he had done something to spur their friendship he couldn’t go through with it. It was stupid, he was being stupid. The guard constructs weren’t made to be totally logical. You couldn’t instill enough emotions for them to care about the place they had to protect if they worked solely off of logic, but they weren’t supposed to be  _ stupid. _

The point of the matter though was that Kravitz could not go to Taako for help on this matter. He could not even go to him about the questions he had about his soul, because he couldn’t quite convince himself that Taako wanted to talk to him anymore. They barely spoke when it wasn’t necessary for some sort of plan or to keep the spell in check. Clearly something had changed, and he didn’t know what.

Unfortunately, there was only one other person around Kravitz could go to.

And he did not particularly like this person.

When Taako and Barry Bluejeans came back from their meeting though, Kravitz told himself that today was going to be the day. As much as he despised the idea of going to this person for help, he could not keep struggling forward in the dark like this anymore.

“I wish to speak to the necromancer in private as well,” Kravitz said once they returned. Immediately the two were looking at him, very similar looks of confusion and surprise on their faces. He was getting better at identifying emotions, but even if he wasn’t these ones were easy.

“Uuuuuh I don’t know about-” Barry started, and as much as Kravitz wanted to be annoyed by his hesitance, it was not as if he had not made his dislike for him well known. Before he could finish his thought though Taako cut in.

“Why do you need to talk to Barry?” he asked, and he still sounded more confused than anything.

“I believe that falls under what asking for privacy means,” he said, and Taako looked annoyed by that. He started to say something, but before he could the words seemed to die in his mouth, and he reluctantly nodded.

“Fair enough,” he said, and Kravitz could see his eyes quickly shift from him over to Barry. The necromancer still looked pretty nervous by the idea. “Just one thing though, and Krav, you know I trust you, but just checking real quick. You’re not gonna like, try and kill Barold here, are you?” he asked.

“No, I am not going to kill Barry,” he assured, an exacerbated tone to his voice. He could understand why the question was necessary, but that didn’t mean he had to like it all that much.

“Uh-” Barry cut in.

“I am not going to otherwise harm the necromancer in any sort of capacity either. I simply have a few questions that he may be best suited to answer,” Kravitz added, and Taako seemed to relax considerably at that, nodding. Barry still did not seem incredibly comfortable, but at least he also did not appear to be actively against the idea anymore.

“Alright, will you be good going off again so soon after the last one though?” Taako asked, and it was a fair question. Kravitz nodded, because he had put quite a bit of thought into that.

“This room is entirely closed off, and the wards the necromancer has put up to keep it undetected are strong. As long as I am between the entrance and you, and  _ he,” _ he tilted his head towards Barry, “is with me, I am able to monitor any threats that could come for you and the spell is satisfied,” he explained. Taako actually looked impressed by that.

“Huh, good to know. Yeah alright then, I’ll be right here if you need anything,” he said, going to sit down at one of the desks filled with arcane notes and maps they’d been working on.

“Okay, so uh-” Barry started. Kravitz didn’t bother to listen to whatever he was going to say, grabbing the back of his shirt and starting to pull him along with him outside of the chamber. “Hey that’s really not necessary! I can just walk, I’m not gonna- nope, okay,” his protests did not last long. It did not take much time for them to reach a far enough distance that Kravitz was certain that Taako would not be able to overhear, even with his more sensitive elven hearing. Once they stopped he let go of Barry, who started rubbing the back of his neck.

“Necromancer, you understand souls, correct?” he asked. It was as if he said some sort of magic word, all the hesitance and worry that had been in the man before leaving in an instant.

“Wait, are you finally ready to talk about it? Taako said to give you time, I didn’t think it would be this fast,” Barry said, and Kravitz was already regretting this decision.

“Answer the question,” he said, and Barry nodded quickly.

“Yes, it’s my entire field of research,” he said, and that was something.

“Because you’re a necromancer,” he said, and Barry made a face at that.

“Eeeh, I mean, kinda? Like, not gonna deny the necromancy thing, but I pursued necromancy to advance my understanding of souls, not the other way around,” he explained. Which, that wasn’t what Kravitz was expecting, but he supposed it did make sense.

“Irrelevant. My point still stands, you are knowledgeable about them, so is there-” he paused, taking a moment to collect his thoughts. To put together the words he actually wanted to ask. “Is there a way to know for sure? If that’s what’s happening?” he asked.

Kravitz was still not great as facial expressions, but he was fairly certain the look Barry was giving him now was the one most of Taako’s customers gave to the food he made during his shows.

“Yes! Or no, or I mean, I can run experiments. There are tests I can do, absolutely!” he said, and oh dear. Yeah, the regret was kicking in now. He wasn't a fan of this emotion.

“You get one,” he said quickly, receiving a look of confusion from the necromancer. “One test, or experiment or whatever you want to call it. I am not going to be a scientific marvel for you to study. I simply want an answer to this question,” he explained, and that seemed to at least get Barry to stop looking at him like that. He seemed to sober up some, thinking for a moment before nodding.

“Of course, it’s your choice bud,” he said, and it was… frustrating that he seemed to be sincere. “It’ll take me some time though, I want to be able to give you as solid an answer as I can,” he added.

“Understandable,” Kravitz said, and he was not going to complain about the necromancer not messing with his state of being  _ fast _ enough, that was for sure.

“So uh, is that everything you wanted to talk about? Cause I can definitely get working on something to suss out the soul situation as soon as possible,” Barry asked, and Kravitz knew he could leave it at that. He did not have to go into anything else, especially not with  _ Barry _ of all people.

But he also knew it would not stop bothering him until he found an answer, and he had no one else to talk to.

“I have one additional question that you may be able to assist with,” he said, and there was a clear amount of interest in the necromancer’s face at that.

“Oh yeah? What’s up?” he asked, and it took Kravitz even longer to find the correct words for this question. Even when he did finally speak, it did not feel like he had managed it very well.

“Do you know if Taako is… upset with me, for any reason?” he asked. That clearly was not the question Barry had been expecting, the man standing there with a befuddled expression for a long moment.

“Uh, no? No, I don’t think he’s mad at you or anything, why would you think that?” he asked, and Kravitz wondered if it was a bad idea to come to him about this issue after all. Certainly it had to be obvious.

“He has been acting different. He had not been… as friendly as he had been in the past, I believe he may even be avoiding talking to me,” he explained. He supposed the only good thing was that Barry did not seem to be brushing his concerns off, a look of deep thought on his face.

“Do you know when this started?” he asked, and Kravitz nodded.

“Eleven days now. It had begun shortly after his first request to speak with  _ you _ in private,” he said, and he had not meant to sound so bitter there, but he could not bring himself to feel sorry about it. Barry did not seem too bothered at any rate, instead a look of understanding fell over his face.

“Oh! Yeah okay bud, you don’t have anything to worry about. He’s not mad at you,” the necromancer assured, and Kravitz couldn’t help but feel suspicious at that.

“You speak as though you know what the issue is,” he said, and Barry shrugged at that.

“I’ve got a hunch,” he said, and this whole conversation was getting incredibly frustrating.

“Would you care to share it?” he asked. Barry gave a sheepish smile at that, reluctantly shaking his head.

“It’s one of those private things, ya know? I would suggest you just like, talk to Taako about it though. He’s definitely not mad though,” he said, and Kravitz did not like that answer. He couldn’t argue with it though, because he already knew the simplest solution would be to go to Taako. “Actually, can I ask you something? I think it might help with some of my research on the whole soul thing,” he added, and reluctantly Kravitz nodded.

“I suppose,” he said.

“How do you feel about Taako? Ignoring the spell and any of that stuff, what’s your opinion of him?” he asked. It wasn’t the question Kravitz expected, and he wanted to refuse to answer it for a moment. He resisted that though, instead taking a bit to think it over.

“He is incredibly frustrating much of the time. He refuses to listen to reason and insists on constantly putting himself in danger for others, despite continuing to try to appear as though he does not care about anyone but himself. He is rude and enjoys pushing people’s buttons for fun, but somehow manages to understand how I am feeling before I even do at times. He does not act anywhere near as smart as he actually is most of the time, but when he does he doesn’t even seem to realize his own brilliance. I knew that people on a whole were not logical, but I never imagined anyone could be such a pile of walking contradictions as Taako is,” he said, and the smile Barry was giving him was strange.

He didn’t need to breathe, but Kravitz still took a moment to pause before continuing, words getting hard. He had not actually answered the question of how he felt about Taako yet.

“I did not think it was possible to care about someone as much as I care about him,” he finished.

“Yeah, it’s wild, ain’t it?” Barry asked, a tone to his voice like he understood exactly what Kravitz was talking about. Kravitz nodded, not sure what else to do. “Like I said, just talk to him. He might have more experience being alive than you do, but sometimes that can work against you. He just needs some time is all,” he added. Kravitz cocked his head to the side, very confused.

“I… do not understand what you’re talking about,” he said bluntly, and Barry raised an eyebrow at that.

“I thought Taako said your favorite books were all romance?” he asked. Kravitz simply stared at him for a moment before it all suddenly clicked.

Oh.

_ “Oh,” _ he blurted out, and he did not appreciate the snort of amusement Barry gave him, or the pat on the shoulder as he moved past him.

“Don’t worry bud, it’s like that for a lot of people,” he said, starting back towards the main chamber of the cave. “The good news is, you’ve got plenty of time to figure it out,” he added, and Kravitz didn’t respond, letting Barry walk back to the cave. He didn’t know what to do, processing that simple fact that should have been so obvious.

Suddenly, everything that had seemed like an impossible, unsolvable mystery made sense.

He was in love with Taako.

That really did explain everything.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Barry is not surprised that the construct person who is still new to emotions and being a person was able to admit his feelings faster than Taako was, not in the least. Things are gonna be really taking off soon y'all, I'm excited. 
> 
> as always, thanks for reading and I hope you enjoyed!


	17. Continued Effects

Taako was so fucking curious about what Kravitz could possibly want to talk to Barry about alone. It was hell waiting for them to get back, he couldn’t even pretend to focus on the research him and Barry had been doing beforehand. He couldn’t even focus on the updates they had made to try and free Kravitz. They were small things here and there, but still, it was a lot better than the blind attempts he’d made before.

None of that mattered though because he was pacing around the chamber, trying to figure out what the fuck they could be  _ doing _ down the hall.

The only thing that made sense was Kravitz’s soul. He knew he was still really freaked out by the sudden emergence of the thing, enough that he refused to admit that it was definitely real and there.

Barry was a necromancer though. If anyone knew about souls it would be him, so if Kravitz decided he finally wanted some answers he’d be the perfect person to go to.

Except the only problem with that was that Kravitz fucking hated Barry. He straight out refused to let him do any magic to him or study him or any of that. He couldn’t imagine him changing his mind on that. Unless he did. With how badly the soul thing freaked him out, maybe he would take that leap, or at least decide to test the waters on if he could.

But why would he need to go off with Barry  _ alone _ for that? Taako knew all about the struggles he was having with this, he would think Kravitz might want him there to help ensure that Barry wouldn’t try anything. Unless this was all some petty revenge for Taako going off to have secret meetings with Barry so often lately. That was entirely possible, even if he didn’t expect Kravitz to like, get  _ jealous _ like that.

There were plenty of other reasons other than jealousy though. It could just be because he really didn’t like Barry and was mad at Taako for trusting him like this.

After what felt like an eternity but was maybe closer to ten or so minutes Taako heard footsteps coming back. He stopped pacing, and when Barry came into the chamber Taako felt a cold dread run through his veins.

Because Barry was alone.

“Where’s Kravitz?” he asked, because as much as he thought he could trust the dude the fact of the matter was that Kravitz was not here now. And Kravitz did not trust Barry. The human paused, looking back over his shoulder in confusion.

“Oh uh, he must’ve not followed me. I think he needed a moment to think through some stuff,” he said, and he sounded honest. Taako would have believed that if it was literally anyone else Barry had been talking about.

But Kravitz wouldn’t stop to think about something, not when it would allow a threat to be alone with Taako.

And Kravitz considered Barry a threat.

“What did you  _ do?” _ Taako snapped, a surprised and confused expression on the man's face.

“Nothing, I didn’t- Taako!” Barry called, but Taako didn’t bother paying any attention to him. He ran right past him, and they hadn’t been gone for long. Maybe there was still something he could do, maybe-

“Kravitz!” Taako shouted, surprised to see Kravitz still standing. Relief ran through him when he actually moved, turning at the sound of his voice immediately, already looking on edge for any danger.

“Taako! What- what’s wrong?” he asked, and Taako skidded to a halt, quickly looking Kravitz over. As far as he could tell he was fine. All in one piece, core shining as bright as ever.

“Barry came back  _ alone _ dog,” he said, because as far as he was concerned that was all he needed for grounds to freak out. Apparently Kravitz didn’t get it through, because he tensed up like Barry was the problem in this situation.

“Did he try to harm you?” he asked, sounding one step away from going to try and beat Barry’s ass. Taako quickly shook his head, because from the looks of it Barry  _ hadn’t _ turned Kravitz into scrap metal like he feared.

“No, he didn’t do shit apparently,” he said, and Kravitz started to tilt his head to the side at that, confusion clear.

“What do you mean apparently?” he asked, and Taako frowned at that. He had no idea how he was the only one who seemed to see what the issue was here.

“You  _ hate _ leaving me alone with Barry. The spell won’t even  _ let you _ without me giving you the fucking play by play because you consider him a threat. When he showed up and you didn’t I thought he fucking wasted you my dude! I thought I was gonna come back here to find a bunch of scrap metal,” he explained, and now it seemed to click for Kravitz.

“I didn’t… I somehow did not notice. I knew he left, but I didn’t think…” he trailed off, and Taako’s mind started moving a mile a minute at that.

“Did- do you think it’s… gone?” he asked, and Kravitz froze at that.

“I don’t know,” he answered after a quiet moment. Taako didn’t know why now, after so many failed attempts, the spell would just  _ drop. _

Unless it had something to do with Kravitz’s soul. If maybe he didn’t count as enough of a construct anymore for the spell to take effect.

Giving him a look over, Kravitz had his bag slung over his shoulder. The dude didn’t have a lot of material possessions, everything he owned was able to fit into that thing, which was probably why he kept it on him almost all the time. Taako tried to do that with as many of his possessions as possible too.

“You should try to go home,” Taako said, trying to sound as confident about this as he could. He promised Kravitz he would get rid of the curse and let him go home, and if the damn thing decided to just drop out of the blue he wasn’t going to hold him up. Kravitz looked almost lost for a moment before nodding.

“Right. I suppose I should,” he said, and Taako guessed he couldn’t blame him if the possibility that this was all finally over with was a lot to take in. He seemed to hesitate for a moment, like he was trying to think of something to say.

In the end though he didn’t end up saying anything. Instead he just turned, starting towards the front of the cave. Taako couldn’t do anything but stand there and watch him, hating the dread that pitted in his stomach with every step he took.

He tried not to show the relief on his face when Kravitz stopped, standing almost out of sight for a long, painful moment before turning around and making his way back.

“I can’t,” he said as he closed the distance again, and it was hard to tell any sort of emotions from Kravitz’s voice.

“The spell’s still in effect?” Taako asked, and he nodded.

“It- I mean, it must be. Because I still can’t leave,” Kravitz said, and that was fair.

“Then what about Barry?” he pressed, because that still didn’t make any goddamn sense. Kravitz seemed to think it over for a moment, and when he spoke it sounded more like a guess than anything.

“I must… I must not view him as a threat to your safety anymore,” he said, and  _ that _ got Taako to raise his eyebrows in surprise. He didn’t have to actually say anything, the skeptical look on his face causing Kravitz to give an exasperated sigh. “It’s a shock to me as well but it’s the only thing that makes sense,” he said, and a little reluctantly Taako nodded.

“What the fuck did you two  _ talk _ about to get you suddenly cool with Barry?” Taako asked, and he knew Kravitz had said it was private but he figured that after this he at least deserved to ask. Kravitz hesitated at the question, somehow managing to look nervous.

“I… I will explain it to you Taako, but just not now. Later, I promise. I just can’t yet,” he said, and he sounded so fucking earnest. It only made Taako want to know what it was more, but despite that he nodded. If Kravitz said he’d explain it later he trusted him to.

“Alright, but you better believe I’mma hold you to that,” he said, and Kravitz nodded at that.

“I trust that you will,” Kravitz said, not seeming bothered by that. Now that they had everything squared away Taako started to relax some from the panic he’d gotten into earlier. Kravitz was safe and he wasn’t- he couldn’t leave yet. Even if it was selfish as fuck Taako was relieved that it hadn’t quite dropped. He guessed Kravitz must’ve noticed the change in his demeanor because he cocked his head to the side, and when he spoke there was a decidedly amused tone to his voice. “Were you really that concerned for my safety?” he asked. Taako huffed, crossing his arms and not looking at Kravitz.

“You’re the one who keeps going on about how Barold almost killed you the one time! Apparently he can wreck your shit, how else is a dude supposed to react!” he argued. From the looks of it Kravitz did not appreciate that, looking incredibly defensive.

“I wouldn’t say- he got in a  _ lucky shot,” _ he insisted, and Taako snorted at that, which only seemed to make Kravitz pout even further.

“Well, we don’t gotta worry about it anymore, cause apparently Barold  _ wasn’t _ planning on betraying us this whole time and everyone’s cool,” Taako said, and there was some relief to that. Barry not clocking as a threat to Kravitz anymore was wild, but it would make a few things a bit easier. “And speaking of the nerd, we should probably get back to the cave. I  _ might _ have ran off in a rage shouting ‘what did you do’ and I imagine he might have some questions about that,” he said.

“It might be a good idea to explain that, yes,” Kravitz agreed, and with that they started back towards the main chamber. When they got there Barry seemed to be in much the same position as Taako had been when he’d been waiting on his own, pacing around in a circle. As soon as they came into view his head shot towards them, a look of relief on his face.

“Is everything okay? What  _ was _ that? I wanted to like, follow you and see what the fuck was up but you kinda seemed pissed and I figured chasing wouldn’t help,” Barry said, all fair questions. Taako nodded, trying to appear a bit more casual than he actually felt.

“We’re all good Barold, just a simple misunderstanding is all,” he said, hoping despite all evidence to the contrary that everyone would let him get away without explaining any more than that.

“He believed that you had somehow attacked and either severely hampered me or outright destroyed me in the five minutes we had been gone, due to the fact that you returned alone,” Kravitz said, completely dashing all of those ill-placed hopes. Barry’s eyebrows raised at that, surprise clear on his face. Taako couldn’t blame him too much for that, it was kind of a leap in judgment on his part for sure.

“Okay, uh, I didn’t do that,” Barry said, and Taako kind of wanted to die.

“Yeah no I can see that Barold,” he huffed, walking back over to the desk. “Let’s just forget it, everything’s cool now,” he insisted. Thankfully the universe deemed it right to show mercy to him and Kravitz and Barry both seemed content to drop the subject. 

Taako couldn’t put his finger on it, but as him and Barry started to get back to work it did seem like something had changed. He didn’t know what, but he didn’t think it was a bad thing.

——

Kravitz didn’t know if the curse was still in effect.

He told Taako it was, because- because it  _ must be. _ He had tried to leave, to go back  _ home _ and resume the duty he’d been made for, to go back to a simple life that made sense and not  _ this.  _ Not where everything was so confusing and he didn’t know what to think or if he could trust his own thoughts and feelings anymore.

He tried to leave, and he couldn’t.

So the curse must still be in effect, right?

Except he was in love with Taako, and that screwed everything up.

Because he wasn’t entirely sure if he wanted to leave now. It wasn’t that he didn’t want to go back home, because he  _ did. _ He could still feel that longing, the homesickness, the desire to go back to where everything made sense and to see his queen again. He still  _ missed _ her.

But he didn’t want to leave Taako either. He still needed his help, was still looking for his sister and from what they could tell there might not be a lot of time left. Taako’s memories seemed to be deteriorating at a rapid pace, so they had to find her quickly. No matter how self-sufficient Taako acted, he needed help with this. Kravitz  _ wanted _ to help him with this.

Kravitz wanted to go home, but he didn’t want to leave Taako. He couldn’t have both, but he had no idea how he was supposed to make that choice.

If the spell was still up then it wouldn’t be an issue. He wouldn’t  _ have _ a choice, he would have to stay with Taako until he found his sister. Until he was sure that he would be safe. Then they could drop the spell and Kravitz could go home. He had no delusions that Taako would want him to stick around forever or that his feelings would ever be returned, so getting to go home after ensuring Taako’s happiness would have to be enough.

So as far as Kravitz or anyone else was concerned, the curse was still in effect. He did not feel like he could very reliably test that anymore, but it didn’t make much of a difference. He couldn’t leave until they retrieved Taako’s sister, so the practicalities were the same.

That night Kravitz wondered what it was like to sleep. He knew Taako talked about nightmares on occasions, but watching the two passed out now without having to spend so many extra hours of the day  _ thinking, _ he wished he had that option. It would have been nice to be able to shut his brain off for a bit. Taako always talked about how relaxing it was, when the nightmares weren’t a problem that was.

Kravitz was fairly sure that Taako had been having less nightmares lately. He wanted to think that was a good thing, but it could also be a sign of more failing memories. It was hard to say.

At least there was something to focus on when morning finally did come, other than another day of sitting around while Taako and Barry continued to do research and narrow down possible places where Lup might be.

Today they were finally going to go back out to search. It was a welcomed relief as far as Kravitz was concerned. He was tired of sitting in a cave all day, he couldn’t imagine how the two actually living people felt about it.

“Okay, so! Game plan,” Taako said, and Kravitz watched as he had a large map of the continent spread out in front of him. Barry was moving around the cave, packing up odds and ends that Kravitz was trying his best not to pay attention to. He would have to bring this necromancer back to the palace at some point, but for the moment he did not have the energy to deal with all that.

“We found a couple places that seem likely,” Taako continued, and Kravitz could see them outlined on the map. Even still, Taako started walking him through the route. Kravitz was fairly sure he was doing this to remind himself of the plan, but he had no problem nodding along. “The Frost Grove is the farthest away, and the Amber Woods are the closest. Between them is the Felicity Wilds, and the ruins of Armos are just east of here, could have gotten to them from a couple different way. So it’ll be one two three, with a side tour over here,” Taako explained, pointing out the places as he did. “Got a couple towns around that we can crash in between spots, so there shouldn’t be too much roughing it,” he finished.

“Sounds reasonable enough,” Kravitz said, and Taako agreed with that, nodding before turning towards Barry.

“Barold, you done yet?” he asked, and the necromancer turned towards the two of them with an irritated expression on his face.

“Y’all could help, ya know,” he said, and Taako shrugged at that.

“Got all my shit packed homie,” he said, rolling up the map he was using and putting it into his bag. Barry sighed in annoyance, grabbing a few more books before finally appearing satisfied.

“Alright, let’s get going,” he said, throwing his bag over his shoulder and starting towards the front of the cave. Kravitz had already grabbed an extra pack other than the small one he’d started using for the items he’d gathered over his time out here. It was just another reminder that he wasn’t acting quite like he probably should. He’d never had much of a need for personal items before, but he’d been allowed to use any of the items at the palace to his pleasure as well. He just had never felt a need to.

Now though, there was something nice about it. Having things that were his, that someone could look at and start to form an idea of the person who owned them.

Once they were out of the cave Taako stopped, turning towards him. Barry was setting up some sort of ward to make sure no one tampered with the place while they were gone, and for a moment Kravitz thought he was just waiting for him.

“So uh, you ready to put your face back on again?” he asked, and it took Kravitz a moment to realize what he meant by that. When he did though he hesitated for a moment.

He hadn’t realized Taako noticed he was avoiding the illusion. There had not been any need for it while they were in the cave, and so he hadn’t mentioned it and Taako never cast it, and it was fine. He didn’t have to confront himself looking so much  _ like someone _ while dealing with the idea that he might have a soul.

It was safest to have the illusion up though, and he was trying very hard not to think about it but a part of him almost missed it. He nodded, trying not to show any of that.

“I don’t see why not,” he said, and with that Taako cast the spell. There weren't any mirrors around to look at himself, but he could easily tell that it was in place looking at his hands. He couldn’t tell if it was comforting or disturbing, but after a moment he settled on both.

The travel was uneventful, the trip to the first area they wanted to check out taking three days. It was easy to fall back into their previous routine for being out on the road, with the added strangeness of Barry Bluejeans being around as well. Still, he didn’t bother it as much as Kravitz might have expected, although he supposed that was fair considering the way he and Taako managed to work so easily together on everything else.

When they reached the Amber Woods Kravitz could immediately understand the name. Even though they were starting to move into spring all the trees were deep oranges and reds, as if stuck in a perpetual fall. It was gorgeous.

“Any of this ring a bell bud?” Barry asked, and Kravitz knew that they had spells to help them detect high levels of magic and the like. Normally any magic they used wouldn’t have interested Kravitz, except in trying to assure it wasn’t a threat when it came from the necromancer.

Now though he couldn’t help but watch as Taako cast what he could only assume was a detect magic. Wizard magic was different from what Bards used, but it was all still magic.

He hadn’t played any music since his accidental casting of that spell. He didn’t know what would happen if he did. If more magic would start happening without his effort. It was for the best if he didn’t, in case anything ended up being dangerous.

And if he didn’t try, then he wouldn’t have to be disappointed if it turned out to be a fluke. If Barry happened to be wrong about all of this.

“Yeah not really. I uh, I don’t remember red and stuff. It was all snow and dead trees I think,” Taako said, and it was obvious how hard he had to think to even recall that much. Barry nodded, and even though it didn’t seem to be the right forest they still spent the better part of the day combing it over as much as they could and trying to detect any signs of strange magic.

When it all turned up empty they headed towards the nearest town, which thankfully wasn’t far. Taako and Barry did not seem all that discouraged yet, since this was the least likely of the three spots. There were a lot of towns around it because it was a bit of a tourist attraction, and so the possibility of something as catastrophic as whatever had happened to Taako taking place here with no signs was pretty slim.

It didn’t take too much time for them to find an inn, although once they were in their room Taako made a face as he dug through his bag.

“Youch, okay, tomorrow cha’ boy is getting back on the touring circuit. I’m expecting sad little moths to fly out of my wallet every time I open it, and now we gotta spring for rooms with  _ two _ beds, what am I, a king?” he said, and that made sense. Taako had explained that he stopped Sizzle It Up in the winter due to the weather, but it had started to warm up considerably now.

“Touring circuit?” Barry asked, looking befuddled. Which meant that the show wasn’t something Taako had done back when they knew each other.

“Oh, just a little cooking show to bring in a bit of extra cash. Throw a little extra transmutation magic into the mix and people go wild,” Taako explained. Barry nodded, an impressed expression on his face.

“Yeah alright, that sounds good to me,” he said.

The next morning Kravitz watched as Taako got ready for running Sizzle It Up. He remembered the first time he’d watched, how he hadn’t understood the choices but how afterwards he could see just how carefully calculated they all were. Even though he had watched him many times now it somehow didn’t get any less fascinating.

As they went to leave Barry was still sitting at the small desk in the corner of their rented room.

“You guys go on ahead, I’ll catch up. I wanna take one last look at this stuff before we move on,” he said, and Taako nodded. Kravitz wasn’t entirely thrilled with the idea of leaving him on his own, but it would seem foolish for him to try anything at this point. They were planning on leaving town after Taako’s show, so it made sense.

It didn’t take long to get to the town plaza, and even though it was still at the tail end of winter it seemed like it was starting to get bustling again. This really was a tourist town though, the types of stands that were set up selling lots of trinkets and jewelry that matched the trees in the nearby forest. It seemed as though Taako wasn’t the only one who’d planned on capitalizing on the crowds, other small food vendors and performers set up.

There were a few bards, and Kravitz couldn’t help but feel himself linger every time they passed one. It didn’t take Taako long to notice, and Kravitz wasn’t expecting the grin that stretched across his face suddenly.

“Oh shit! I can’t believe I almost forgot,” he said, stopping in his tracks to start digging through his bag. Kravitz would have felt awkward about stopping in the middle of the square if it didn’t seem to be a regular occurrence, people moving around them with ease.

“Almost forgot what?” he asked, and instead of answering Taako pulled a large book out of his bag, holding it out to him with a flourish. Kravitz cocked his head to the side somewhat, taking it nonetheless. As he began to flip through it though the realization of what it was started to dawn on him.

“Did you steal this from Barry?” he asked, because that was the easiest thing to focus on. This was the book that he had looked through to find the spell Kravitz had cast before. It seemed to be full of many different bard spells. Taako shrugged noncommittally, an intentionally casual look on his face.

“He’s stolen books from you, right? It’s only fair,” he said, and Kravitz chuckled a little at that. He wanted to look back over at Taako, but he couldn’t look away from the book in his hands.

“Taako, this is…” he trailed off, and Kravitz hated how often words seemed to simply fail him when it came to Taako. How often he couldn’t even put an explanation to what emotions he was feeling. If this was excitement or dread or fear or more love than he knew what to do with or all of it at once.

“I know bards don’t really learn their magic from books, but I thought it might help just figuring out where to start and that kind of stuff,” Taako explained, and Kravitz nodded. It made sense.

“Thank you Taako,” he said after a moment, the wizard starting to look a bit nervous at his silence. He seemed to relax some at that, another casual grin on his face as he shrugged.

“Hey, don’t even worry about it. I got it on the cheap,” he said, winking for good measure. Kravitz couldn’t help laughing at that, and no one could blame him for that. Even if he believed Barry wouldn’t do anything to harm Taako at this point that didn’t mean he had to like him. Or at least, if he had to like him it could be that he simply liked to annoy him.

With that Kravitz followed along until Taako found a spot to set up his show. As he got ready Kravitz sat down a little bit away, where he could still see Taako’s show but not be a bother. He spent most of the time watching Taako perform, because it was indeed mesmerizing. When his attention did drift, it was to the book Taako had given him.

They had talked about having to stop at several towns as they searched for Lup.

Maybe next time they stopped, Kravitz would try and play something.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> we are moving ever closer to some stuff I am very much excited for, and in the meantime we get some maximum pining boys. I don't really have a lot to say this week, we still chugging along 
> 
> as always, thanks for reading and I hope you enjoyed!


	18. Almost

Taako didn’t know how Kravitz was going to take the book. They hadn’t talked much about the magic since it happened, and it was hard to tell if he was still freaked out by the whole thing.

It seemed like it was a success though. Throughout the show he glanced over to where Kravitz was sitting every so often. Most of the time he was keeping an eye on him, which was to be expected given the charm. Every so often though he’d start flipping through the book, looking downright enraptured by the thing. He didn’t pull out his violin or anything to give it a try, which was a shame, but there was a lot of people around. He wouldn’t be surprised if Kravitz was too nervous to do something like that out here.

By the time the show wrapped up Barry had followed through, first finding his stand and then joining Kravitz where he was sitting. Taako couldn’t hear them from where he was, but he was pretty sure Barry had noticed the book from the look of confusion on his face and the way Kravitz quickly pulled it away from him before stuffing it into his bag. Taako had to look away from them before he started laughing, turning to the crowd again to try and wrap everything up.

Once the last of the samples were sold he packed up the rest of his supplies, shrinking the grill and table to put back in his bag. Starting to head over to join up with the others he nearly ran straight into one of the people who’d been watching his show.

“Hey, big fan. That was incredible, do you have a cook book or anything?” this dude asked, and he seemed pretty nondescript human. Taako gave him a big showy grin, shaking his head.

“Not yet unfortunately, haven’t really branched out into merch yet. Check in next time and maybe we’ll take your suggestion into account,” he said, the fan frowning in disappointment.

“That’s too bad. Maybe we could get out of here and talk recipes some? I’m actually a cook as well,” he said, and it was a good thing Taako had an excellent customer face, because otherwise he would have rolled his eyes something fierce at that. As it was he stuck with what was more of a polite grin before sidestepping around the dude.

“Sorry, my buddies and I have got a pretty tight schedule. Maybe next time,” he said, leaving with that to head over to Kravitz and Barry. He didn’t know if the creepy fan watched him go or not, but once he was with the others it didn’t seem like much of an issue. Honestly not the creepiest fan he’d ever had, and as soon as he was out of sight Taako put the encounter out of his mind.

“Fuck, I forgot how good it feels to have cash again. Definitely gotta make this a habit,” he said, and after thinking a moment he put the money in Kravitz’s bag. Definitely the safest place, and Kravitz didn’t seem to question it.

“I’ll have to actually catch the whole show next time,” Barry said, standing up and brushing himself off. “We good to get the leg out?” he asked, and Taako nodded at that.

It would take about two weeks to get to the Felicity Wilds, the next major stop on their search. There were two towns they figured they could stop in on the way there. If they didn’t find anything in the Wilds then they were gonna take a quick detour to Armos so that Barry could get a look and see if he could notice anything they didn’t, before heading up to the Frost Grove.

She had to be at one of these places. They put in all that research, and it all pointed to this area.

The second night they were camping Kravitz pulled out his violin and actually started to play again. Taako didn’t make any sort of comment on it other than to point out that he’d really gotten better. It actually sounded like music now, and there was definitely mistakes and fumbles here and there but for the most part Taako could lay back by the fire and just enjoy it.

He opened his eyes when he heard Kravitz gasp in surprise, the music fumbling a bit before picking up again. Around Kravitz several small, softly glowing balls of light were floating in a lazy circle, and Taako grinned brightly at the display.

“Oh hell yeah, dancing lights, right?” he asked, getting a small nod from Kravitz in response. His disguise was down, they’d set down for camp about two hours ago and had already eaten dinner and everything. Barry had sat up as well, watching with mild amusement.

“This one’s better. I like this spell better,” he said, and Taako rolled his eyes at that. Kravitz didn’t play for too much longer, the song coming to an end and the lights fading out with the music.

“Not the most useful spell I’m afraid, since we can both see in the dark,” Kravitz said, and Taako shrugged at that. It wasn’t open disdain at the magic though, he didn’t seem to be freaking out or anything. Definitely an improvement.

“I mean, I don’t have dark vision,” Barry piqued up. At that Kravitz sighed, somehow managing to look forlorn without any sort of expression.

“It’s completely useless. Oh well, at the very least perhaps I can use them as a nice visual accompaniment to my music,” to said, a bark of laughter erupting from Taako at that. Barry pouted but didn’t try and complain or anything else.

The rest of the night went smoothly, and the next day they got to the first town they planned to make a stop at. It wasn’t quite as bustling as the last one, but as they walked through the square to check out the place and find a cheap inn it would definitely be enough to be worth doing an extra show.

So that was the plan. Stay one blessed night in an actual bed at the inn, do another show of Sizzle It Up before they left for cash, and then keep on moving. They still had some ground to cover before they could reach the Felicity Wilds, and Taako didn’t want to waste time.

Sometimes he forgot why they were in such a hurry, but Kravitz and Barry were there to remind him. Lup, they needed to hurry so that they could find his sister.

The next morning it was pretty early when he rolled out the grill, so he transformed the surface into a skillet and did breakfast wraps instead of his usual menu. By the end of it Taako decided he needed to do breakfast more often, or at least incorporate eggs more. People got a kick about the different ways he could crack them in the air, transmuting the shells into salt and other seasonings afterwards.

It was all going well until Taako turned to the next person waiting for a sample. He didn’t notice him until he was right there, because yeah, Taako was not the best at remembering faces. That was definitely the same guy from the last town though.

Taako quickly gave him his food, and thankfully he didn’t try and talk any. As soon as all of the samples were gone Taako hurriedly packed up everything, managing to get over to Kravitz and Barry before the guy could try and talk to him again.

“Alright, we ready to roll out?” he asked as soon as he got over to the others. Barry nodded, and Taako was relieved once they left the town behind them.

Maybe he should mention the dude to Kravitz. He was already on high alert because of the charm though, and it wasn’t like Taako hadn’t had to deal with creepy people in the past. Usually he dealt with them by laying low and traveling a bit further than he normally would, but they were in the middle of something here.

He  _ could _ just stop running Sizzle It Up for the rest of the trip, even if it might leave them a little tight. Taako had survived on way less, it wouldn’t be that hard.

He didn’t want to though. He fucking liked cooking, and he was pretty sure it was helping with his memory. Lup and him must’ve cooked together a lot, because that was when he could keep her in his mind best. He was cooking to save up money, and he was saving up money so that they could find Lup. This journey was to find his sister, and it didn’t slip away as much when he had food in front of him.

Taako told himself that if anything happened Kravitz would be there. So there wasn’t any reason to worry about one weird fan that decided to follow them to the next town. He might not have even been following them, it could have been a coincidence.

That hope was dashed in the next town, when he saw him at the show again. This time he didn’t seem to try and make any move to even try to talk to Taako, just taking his meal and leaving. That was a bit of a relief, but he was still happy to get out of there as fast as possible.

Thankfully their next stop wasn’t a town. It was the Felicity Wilds.

There was nothing that stood out immediately about the forest once they reached it. A thick woods as far as the eye could see, nothing as immediately striking as the bright colors of the Amber Woods. Some of the branches were still sparse, but for the most part an early spring green had started to cover most of the forest.

He tries to imagine what it would look like in the dead of winter, a thick snow covering the ground and the trees all dead and barren.

“Anything familiar?” Barry asked, and Taako shrugged, frowning slightly.

“It’s closer I think? I don’t really know shit though, fucking swiss cheese brain here,” he said, casting a detect magic to get a feel of the area. Which, huh. “There’s nothing here.”

“Really?” Barry asked, casting the spell himself as well. The frown that formed on his face telling him he’d gotten the same results. “That’s… weird.”

“Is it? Perhaps this isn’t the location either,” Kravitz said, but Taako shook his head at that.

“No like, there’s  _ nothing _ dog. Usually there's some small ambient magic bullshit hovering around, junk left by people or magic creatures moving through, especially in places like this. This place just seems fucking dead though, I don’t sense any magic other than the shit on our backs,” Taako explained. Kravitz was in his disguise in case they ran into anyone else on the road, and he could see the concern on his face at that.

“The Felicity Wilds are notable for their dangerous flora and fauna, we should be cautious and stick close,” he said, and Taako could agree with that.

Heading fully into the woods, there didn’t seem to be a lot to see. It was a forest, and every so often they’d hear some animal or something rush off into the underbrush, but otherwise the place was pretty boring. Maybe if you were super into plants it would be better.

Taako wasn’t sure when he’d stopped paying attention to where he was walking, only coming back to it when he felt a large metal hand clasp around his wrist. Frowning, he turned back around to see Kravitz, looking at him with obvious concern.

“What’s up?” he asked, and the worry on Kravitz’s face only got worse.

“You started walking away. Did you not hear us?” Kravitz asked, and glancing over at Barry he also looked a little freaked out. Taako tried to remember if he heard either of them calling out for him, but it was blank. Slowly he shook his head.

“Can’t say I did, you were talking?” he asked, and Kravitz nodded slowly. “Oh.”

“Maybe it’d be a good idea if Kravitz kept a hand on you while we keep going, just to be safe,” Barry suggested. Taako nodded at that, pulling his wrist out of Kravitz’s grip to grab his hand instead. It was more comfortable, and if they were gonna have to have some contact he might as well indulge a little.

“Sounds good, you cool with that Krav?” he asked, and Kravitz nodded.

“Whatever keeps you safe,” he said, and Taako smiled a little at that.

“Actually, I’ve got an idea,” Barry said before they could start moving again. “Taako, you should lead us,” he said, passing the map over. It was a little hard to hold with one hand, and he frowned as he turned back towards Barry.

“How come? I’m shit at maps,” he said, and Barry didn’t seem particularly concerned by that.

“Because, you were clearly heading somewhere. Now we’re sure as fuck not gonna let you just wander off into some danger by yourself, but as long as Kravitz has a hold of you we could follow it to whatever’s going on here,” he explained. Which, that actually wasn’t a terrible plan.

“Alright uh, should I just kinda wander wherever my gay little heart takes me?” he asked, and Barry shook his head at that.

“No, try to follow the route we have set out. I want to see if I can track if it’s trying to keep us  _ away _ from somewhere or pull us  _ towards _ something,” he said.

With that they started moving again, Taako in the lead and Kravitz making sure to not let go of his hand as he tried to trace the path they had mapped out through the woods. At some point he started looking at the map less and less, until he wasn’t looking at it at all as he moved through the forest. They didn’t talk, and Taako tried to keep the objective in his head, repeating it over and over again. They were looking for Lup.  _ He _ was looking for Lup. Looking for his sister, she had to be around here somewhere. She had to be  _ close _ he just had to keep  _ looking _ for her.

“Okay that- I think maybe, we should call it a day,” Barry said finally, breaking him out of his thoughts. It was only then that Taako took in the scenery around him. It was much the same, a deep forest on all sides.

The thing that had changed though was the sky. They started early in the day, a little after breakfast.

The sun was well into the west now, not quite sunset yet but heading there, and as Taako took that in everything felt like it hit him at once. His feet were sore as shit, his back ached from carrying his bag all day, he was  _ fucking starving. _

“Holy shit, yeah good plan Barold,” he said, letting himself slump against Kravitz. The construct didn’t let go of his hand, instead bringing his other hand over to steady him by the shoulder slightly.

“We’re pretty close to the edge of the Wilds now, it’s not far to town,” Barry said, and Taako groaned loudly at the thought of more walking. Turning towards Kravitz, he gave as pathetic a pleading look as possible.

“Carry me?” he asked, getting an unimpressed stare in return.

And then he bent down, his grip shifting to catch one arm under his knees, the other behind his back to pick up Taako.

“Oh. Sweet,” he said, trying to look smug and not as flustered as he felt.

“Can you carry two people?” Barry asked, and Kravitz didn’t even glance back at the human as he started walking in what Taako assumed was the direction of the edge of the woods.

“You’re a wizard. Can you not levitate or some other spell?” he asked bluntly. Taako snorted in laughter, leaning back to get even more comfortable and throw a smug grin at Barry. The dude rolled his eyes before following along.

It didn’t take long to get to town, and unfortunately Kravitz put him down to walk once they reached the edge of the forest. He did very much appreciate the break for his feet though, but he was still ready to collapse by the time they got into an inn. He didn’t bother doing anything special for dinner, instead him and Barry going ham on their leftover rations.

Once they finished eating, Barry pulled out the map they’d been using in the Wilds. Looking at it now, Taako frowned.

“Did you mark the path we were taking?” he asked, looking at the looping, overlapping spiral that seemed to go circle around almost the entirety of the Felicity Wilds. Barry nodded, and from what Taako could tell he seemed to have an idea about something.

“Yeah, and I think there was definitely something making you make this pattern. It’s too even for it to have been you walking aimlessly, and it’s  _ definitely  _ not the one we were using,” he said, and Taako nodded at that. Barry was frowning now though, staring down at the interlocking loops like they were taunting him. “I don’t understand why this pattern though. It doesn’t take you through the center of the woods, but it’s not making you leave either. It’s just spinning you around it endlessly,” he said, and now that he pointed it out that was weird.

“Should we try going to the center tomorrow then?” Taako asked, because that was the only place that really stood out. Barry nodded, rolling the map back up.

“I think that may be our best bet,” he said, and that sounded like a plan to Taako.

“Alright then, tomorrow, back to the forest, but tonight, fucking  _ sleep,” _ he said, flopping down forcefully on his bed. Barry nodded in agreement, kicking his shoes off and heading over to his own. There was a large chair in the corner, and Kravitz had already sat down in it a while ago.

Tomorrow. They’d head straight towards the center of the woods and they’d find her.

Tomorrow he was going to get Lup back.

——

Taako and Barry both seemed rather certain that they were getting close to the source of this mystery. The best scenario was that Taako’s sister would be there, and they’d be able to rescue her from whatever situation had kept her trapped and they would be reunited.

It was possible that she wasn’t there though. That she had moved somewhere else who knows how long ago. Hopefully finding out what had exactly gone down to cause Taako to lose his memory would be enough to figure out where to look next though. Possibly even find a way to return his memories fully.

The worst case scenario was one that Taako and Barry hadn’t spoken of at all. Kravitz was sure that there was no way they hadn’t considered the option though, so he didn’t bring it up. Still, during the night when everyone else was asleep and Kravitz was left alone with his thoughts it was hard not to wonder if this Lup was even still out there somewhere. If the reason they had not been able to find her in all this time was due to the fact that she was no longer alive.

Well, they would hopefully find out tomorrow.

And well, they would deal with whatever happened next when it came. Or at least, Taako would deal with it. As soon as they found his sister Kravitz couldn’t imagine him having to stick around much longer. Either they’d figure out how to undo the curse or maybe, it would simply be lifted once Taako no longer needed his protection. With his sister back that was a pretty strong possibility.

Kravitz was spending the night going over the book on bard magic that Taako had given him. He was right, bards did not learn magic the same way wizards did, but he still found that it helped. There was no incantation that he needed to practice, but more of a feeling that he could focus on in order to shape the magic into what he wanted with his music. He couldn’t practice while the others were asleep, but the reading still felt like it helped.

It was late, about 2am although Kravitz wasn’t bothering to keep exact track of the time at the moment, when Taako bolted upright in bed. It was so sudden Kravitz startled, nearly dropping his book as he jumped up, looking for the issue.

Usually when Taako awake suddenly like that he screamed, and the whole thing was typically preceded by tossing and turning, all things he had pointed out to Kravitz as symptoms of nightmares. None of that happened here though, Taako going from asleep to upright in an instance. Even now he wasn't doing anything else but clutch at his chest and breathe heavily.

“Taako?” Kravitz asked softly, trying to be quiet as not to wake Barry. Taking a step forward, Taako didn’t acknowledge him. Kneeling down by the side of his bed the elf didn’t even flinch, and Kravitz could see the light from his construct form reflecting on his face now.

Looking in his eyes, they seemed unfocused. Blurry almost, staring out at nothing with an utterly blank expression on his face.

It reminded Kravitz of the look he’d had when he’d started to wander off in the forest on his own.

“Taako? Taako can you hear me?” he asked again, reaching out and as gently as possible resting a hand on his shoulder. That seemed to do it, Taako jolting and blinking rapidly as his eyes seemed to refocus. He turned towards Kravitz, a confused and tired frown on his face.

“Krav? What’s up?” he asked, yawning before looking around the room and seeming to take in just how late at night it was.

“You awoke suddenly. When I called out to you you didn’t respond, I was concerned,” he explained. Taako frowned, seeming to take a moment to think that over. If he was bothered by the fact that Kravitz still had a hand resting on his shoulder he did not mention it.

“It was probably just another nightmare,” he said finally. It was a reasonable guess to make, and Kravitz did not know much about them so he did not have a lot of room to argue. Something still did not sit right with him for that explanation though.

“You did not scream or may any signs of distress before waking up. Once you were awake it took a concerning length of time before you responded to me,” he said. Taako yawned loudly again before shrugging.

“Yeah, nightmares can be kinda weird like that. Or uh, night terrors? Which are the same but kinda paralyzing, I’m sure it’s nothing big guy,” he said, and reluctantly Kravitz nodded.

“If you insist, I just-” he paused, and it took a moment before Kravitz could figure out the proper words. “Just know that I am here for you if you need anything,” he said finally. Taako nodded, actually chuckling a little at that.

“Yeah, I know my dude,” he said, and then he actually sighed, shoulders slumping the slightest amount. “Ya know, there’s a hell of a lot of things that are convenient as fuck about having you around. Gonna miss my night light when you go back to the palace,” he added, which wasn’t what Kravitz expected.

“You have dark vision. You do not require a night light,” he said, and Taako pouted at that.

“Yes okay but it’s the principle of the thing,” he said, and Kravitz chuckled at that. Still, even though the reason he gave was a bit silly and inconsequential Kravitz could understand the intent behind it all easily enough.

Taako was going to miss him.

“Perhaps you could come to visit the palace some time. I don’t understand food but as I have heard it the kitchen there is exceptional,” he said, and Taako raised an eyebrow at that.

“Yeah that sounds like a great idea Krav, just one problem. I don’t think your Queen would be all that happy to have the dude who stole one of her guards just walking right in and commandeering her kitchen,” he argued, which was a fair point. Kravitz had no idea how he was supposed to explain any of this to his Queen once he was finally able to return, and despite any earnest attempts it would be hard to cast Taako in the best light.

“We can workshop it,” he said after a moment, getting a snorting laugh out of Taako. He clasped a hand over his mouth at that, glancing over at the bed on the other side of the room where Barry was still sleeping. Lowering his hand, he smiled sheepishly.

“I should probably get some sleep. Big day tomorrow, ya know?” he said, his voice a quiet whisper. Kravitz nodded at that, finally retrieving his hand from Taako’s shoulder.

“Yes, that is probably for the best,” he agreed, standing up and moving back to the chair he’d been sitting on before. He’s started sitting and such as a way to blend in better, and there really wasn’t an issue for what was comfortable or uncomfortable for him, but it had started to become a bit of a habit.

“Hey Kravitz, I-” Taako started, cutting himself off suddenly. Kravitz tilted his head to the side, his confusion obvious.

“Is something the matter?” he asked. Taako sighed before shaking his head, and Kravitz wasn’t sure what he was thinking at this moment. He wished he did. He wished he could think of some way to take away the sadness that had suddenly settled in his form.

“Nah, we’re all good here,” he said, and something about the smile he gave him felt forced. Before Kravitz could try and argue though he continued. “G’night Krav,” Taako muttered, laying back down and throwing his blanket over himself.

“Goodnight Taako,” he replied softly, taking a moment to watch as Taako fell asleep, his body relaxing under the blanket and his breathing evening out into soft, repetitive rises and falls. It was mesmerizing.

Everything about Taako, even asleep like this, was so alive.

It really shouldn’t have been a surprise that he’d fallen in love with him so easily.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> what was taako going to say? the world may never know (probably something somewhere between 'I love you' and 'I don't want you to leave')
> 
> as always, thanks for reading and i hope you enjoy!


	19. Gone

When Taako and Barry woke up the next morning it was early. Honestly, it was earlier than Kravitz would have expected on Taako’s end, with the disturbance last night. He supposed that even with that small interruption in his sleep what they had to get done today was important. He wasn’t surprised at all that they would want to get out there was early as possible.

So he  _ was _ rather surprised when Taako stopped in the middle of packing, instead grabbing his bag with the supplies for Sizzle It Up.

“I think I’m gonna run a show before we go. Breakfast was a big hit last time,” he said, and he’d already cast the disguise spell so Kravitz knew he was frowning.

“Are you sure? I had assumed you would want to get back to the Felicity Wilds as soon as possible,” he asked, and he could see the same confusion he was feeling on Barry’s face as well.

“Yeah, I- cooking helps?” he said, and that did make sense. Taako often seemed a little bit steadier after his show, certainly it always put him in a good mood. It was obvious just how much Taako thrived when he was cooking. Turning towards Barry he continued, “Barold you stay here and finish up any last minute shit we should know before heading in, and Krav and I’ll do some quick busking.”

“Alright, if you think that’s for the best. I’ll meet you guys down in the square in twenty minutes,” Barry agreed, and there was some obvious reluctance there. For once Kravitz couldn’t blame him, he could understand why he would want to get a move on as fast as possible. Still, he couldn’t fault Taako for wanting to steel his nerves either.

“Sounds like a plan, c’mon big guy,” Taako said, starting out of the small inn. He walked fast at first, and it wasn’t any issue for Kravitz to keep up with him, even in the slowly growing crowd. It was early but it was a weekend, so more people were out and about. As they got to the square Taako slowed, and when he stopped in the center Kravitz looked over at him in confusion. He usually set up his stand around the edges with the other vendors.

Instead of pulling out his supplies though Taako turned towards him, a somewhat excited smile on his face.

“You should play while I’m doing my show,” he said, and Kravitz bulked slightly at the idea. There were a few other bards already out, mostly staying to the far ends of the square from each other to avoid quite so direct competition. He’d definitely taken note of them as they came in, and the one with the small drums was pretty good, but the flutist could ah, use a bit of work.

Not that Kravitz was one to talk, he was certainly still learning as well.

“I should  _ what?” _ he asked, Taako not seeming deterred at all by his reaction.

“You should whip out that beautiful instrument of yours and fucking give these people a show my dude. Well, even more of a show,” he said, and yeah Kravitz was not any more on board with this plan than he was hearing it the first time around.

“I do not believe that is a good idea. I am still learning, I am not at a skill level to perform in front of others,” he tried to argue. Taako did not look particularly convinced by this though.

“You’ve played in front of Barry and me,” he said, and Kravitz wanted to argue that they did not count. He trusted Taako, and Barry was  _ Barry.  _ Before he could though Taako continued. “Listen, just give it a shot. If you don’t like it then you never have to do it again,” he insisted. After a moment Kravitz very reluctantly nodded. It should  _ not _ be this hard to say no to him.

“Alright. But do not expect any sort of encore,” he said, and Taako grinned at that.

“I don’t think that’ll be an issue,” he said, grabbing Kravitz by the wrist and dragging him over to a small spot by the edge of the square that no one had claimed yet. Letting out an entirely unnecessary sigh Kravitz sat down, starting to pull his violin out. Taako stopped to watch him for a moment, before taking off his hat and putting it on the ground upside down in front of Kravitz.

“Don’t bard usually just put out their instrument case?” he asked, and Taako waved that off.

“This is much more fashionable,” he said. Kravitz rolled his eyes at that, but he was sure his illusion was smiling. “I’ll be over there if ya need anything,” he added and Kravitz nodded as he ran off. Watching him go, it was a little harder to keep track of him without the hat, and the spot he ended up setting the stand up was farther away then Kravitz would have liked.

Taako looked over at him, giving him a big grin and a thumbs up before starting to light the grill. Kravitz smiled back before looking down at the violin in his hands. Taking a moment to attach the small stone enhancements Taako made him, he started to play before he completely lost the nerve.

The song he chose was simple, but it still sounded beautiful in his opinion. It was also one of the ones he’d practiced often, figuring he should go with the safest bet if he was actually playing in front of people.

He didn’t draw up a large crowd like Taako did with his shows, but part of him was hoping he wouldn’t. That would have been way too much pressure. Instead he just focused on his violin, and every so often he would see a few people’s feet stop, waiting in front of him for a few moments before traveling on. Sometimes someone would throw a coin into the hat Taako left out, which was much more interest than Kravitz expected.

When he finished the first song instead of stopping he transitioned into the next. It was nice, he was actually having fun and letting himself get lost in the music.

So lost in it in fact that he didn’t notice Barry entering the square until he came running up to him, calling his name.

“Kravitz! Holy shit there you are,” he said, bending over slightly and panting. Kravitz stopped his playing, feeling almost self-conscious as he quickly put the violin away.

“Of course I’m here, where else would I be?” he asked, and when he actually looked up at Barry the human looked somewhat panicked.

“Where’s Taako?” he asked, and Kravitz raised an eyebrow at the question, turning towards where Taako’s stand was set up.

“He’s right over the-” he started, freezing when he saw the stand. It was all set up, but it was empty. Nothing had been cooked, there was no crowd around it.

And Taako was nowhere to be seen.

Snatching up Taako’s hat still on the ground, Kravitz didn’t waste any time running over to the empty stand. It was still all perfectly laid out for a show, no sign of a struggle. Barry ran up after him, a bit slower than he was.

“He was right- he was right here. I- I only looked away for a moment,” he said, turning it over now as he tried to look for some sort of clue as to where he could have gone. Scanning the square revealed nothing, no sight of him in the ever growing crowd of people.

“How long ago did you look away? He can’t have gone far,” Barry asked, and Kravitz could feel the dread building up inside of him as he thought back to how long ago he had started playing.

“About- about fifteen minutes,” he said, a flabbergasted look immediately on the necromancer’s face.

“Fifteen minutes! I thought you  _ had _ to keep tabs on him like, every five! What about the curse?” he asked, and Kravitz had to be careful of how tightly he was holding the hat in his hands, worried that he might rip right through the fabric.

“I think- I think the curse might have ended,” he admitted, sounding like a guilty child and somehow also feeling like one. Barry somehow managing to look even more shocked and confused.

“It  _ ended?! _ Why didn’t you- okay, fuck it, not important! We’ll talk about it later! Right now we just need to find Taako,” Barry said, and Kravitz was thankful that at the very least he seemed to have his priorities in order. “It doesn’t look like anyone grabbed him or something, you can’t just kidnap someone in the middle of a crowd in broad daylight. Do you think went to the felicity wilds?” he asked, and Kravitz shrugged.

“I don’t know? Maybe. It’s- he was acting a bit strange last night, and- and this morning,” he said, still keeping an eye out on the crowd. There had to be something, some clue he was missing. Why had Taako gone so far away from him? Why had he insisted on Kravitz playing music?

What had he almost told him last night?

“What do you mean weird? Weird how?” Barry asked, and Kravitz was relieved when the necromancer started putting Taako’s Sizzle It Up set away, shrinking down the table and grill. Taako must’ve kept his bag on him, so he threw it into his own for the time being.

“He woke up suddenly last night. He claimed it was from a nightmare but he showed none of the other signs of distress as he normally does with nightmares. He also didn’t seem to notice me right away, his eyes were unfocused,” he said, and Barry paused at that.

“Do you think- do you think someone was controlling him?” he asked, and Kravitz shuddered at the thought. He should have- why hadn’t he just  _ watched _ him?

“Okay, I’m- I’m gonna try something, but I could use a hand. Literally in this case, it’s gonna be kinda overwhelming and I don’t want to collapse,” Barry said, actually grabbing him now and pulled them back into a place that was a bit less crowded. Kravitz had no idea what he was planning, but the voice that was insisting that he shouldn’t trust the necromancer to do whatever weird magic he wanted was drowned out by his fear for Taako’s safety. So he didn’t hesitate, holding his arm back out for Barry to grab a hold of.

The human did, and when he quietly spoke an incantation of some sort there was an immediate reaction of pain on his face. Kravitz could see his legs buckle, grabbing his shoulder as Barry clung to his arm to keep standing. He stayed like that for longer than Kravitz expected, nearly a minute or two with his eyes closed. Kravitz could still see them dart about rapidly as he tilted his head back and forth before finally letting out a sigh. Releasing Kravitz’s arm he grabbed his head, still looking in some sort of pain.

“Taako’s not around here, person who took him I think is this way,” he said, starting to move at a slower place that Kravitz would have liked.

“How do you know? What did you do?” he asked, and thankfully he seemed to be getting his bearings back fast, his speed picking up as they cut through the square.

“You uh, know the spell detect thoughts?” Barry asked, quickly dodging between vendors now.

“I know it’s basic function,” he replied, keeping on his heels without any sort of issue. He had no idea who he was looking for, but that wasn’t stopping him from keeping an eye out.

“Yeah, so I cast that, but modified it so that it hit everyone,” he said, and that nearly caused Kravitz to stumble as his head whipped over to Barry.

_ “Everyone?” _ he asked, and despite this Barry barely nodded, moving out of the square now.

“Well everyone in a mile and a half radius, I’m gonna have a headache for a fucking  _ week,” _ he said, practically grumbling that last part.

“How could you get  _ anything _ useful out of that?” Kravitz asked.

“Shifting focus, there was someone this way who wanted to get out of here before you saw him. Figured that’s gotta be our guy,” Barry explained, and Kravitz picked up the pace even more at that, even though he wasn’t sure where he was being led to. From the sound of it though Barry didn’t have too clear of an idea either.

Turning the corner Kravitz saw him, and in any other situation he was fairly sure he would have dismissed the man without a second thought. He didn’t look particularly sinister, a human maybe a bit younger than Barry, wearing simple nondescript traveling gear with a bag over one shoulder. Kravitz wouldn’t have thought anything of him, if it wasn’t for two distinct facts.

One, he recognized this man. It took him a moment to remember where his face looked familiar, and that was on Kravitz’s own lack of the stringent security he should have kept. He was often a bit… distracted, during Taako’s shows, he did not tend to spend too much time looking into the crowd.

This man had definitely been to Taako’s cooking shows. Possibly more than once.

And the second thing was that as soon as he saw Kravitz come around the corner he froze in absolute terror. It only lasted a moment before he tried to turn tail and run.

He did not end up getting very far. Kravitz was faster and in a dash he’d caught up to the man, grabbing him by the shoulder and slamming him into the brick wall of the alleyway.

“What did you do with him?!” he shouted, and despite how enraged he felt he didn’t make any move to actually harm this person. As a guard his duties were either to repel or capture, people were useless if they were too hurt to tell you anyway.

“I don’t know what you’re talking about,” the man insisted, trying to get out of Kravitz’s grip with no results. Barry had caught up to them at this point, and the slight panting he was doing didn’t do much for intimidation, but it didn’t seem to be all that necessary.

“We all know you’re lying pal. Actually, let’s just cut that off as an option,” Barry said, casting a spell that caused a soft glowing yellow circle to surround the three of them. This was a spell that Kravitz recognized, his Queen would allow for those under trial to request to testify under it in order to prove their innocence.

“I thought you were a  _ necromancer! _ How do you know zone of truth?” he snapped, and he knew something like this was not incredibly important at the moment, but Kravitz felt like he was already under quite a bit of stress.

“I’m an everything-mancer! If it helps me why wouldn’t I learn it?” Barry shouted back, and Kravitz hated that he couldn’t argue with that. Huffing in frustration, this didn’t matter now, Kravitz quickly turning his attention back to the man.

“Who are you? What did you do with Taako?” he demanded. It seemed that Barry’s spell managed to actually do the trick, the man answering this time.

“Sazed, I gave him to some elves! I don’t know why they wanted him, they paid real good, okay?” he said, and Kravitz leaned forward at that.

“Who are these elves?” he pressed.

“They didn’t tell me their names. They just- they just wanted me to get him alone, I didn’t have a chance until you were playing,” he explained. Kravitz couldn’t feel physical pain really, not the way a living person did. Even still, that made him wince.

“What did they look like? Where did they say they were going to take him?” Barry asked, thankfully picking up when Kravitz found himself at a loss for words.

“I don’t know, eccentric? Two of em, all sparkles and bright colors, most noticeable people in a fucking city block, okay? Can’t miss them! They said they were taking him some place called Wonderland,” Sazed explained. The name didn’t ring any sort of bells for Kravitz.

Out of the corner of his sight though he saw Barry take a stunned step back, a look of horror on his face.

“Is there  _ anything else _ you know?” Kravitz asked, not wanting to let a drop of information from this man go if he could help it.

“I think he was acting weird? Taako that is, every other time I’ve tried to talk to him he hasn’t given me the time of day but he just came with me without any questions this time. It was really fucking weird,” he said, and Kravitz growled at that, turning back towards Barry.

“What now?” he asked, because he didn’t know what to do next. Barry though, it was clear that he had some idea of what was going on. He seemed to be almost in a daze since this man had mentioned Wonderland, but at Kravitz’s question he took a deep breath, gathering himself before turning towards Sazed again.

“One last thing, you said you got paid for this job?” he asked, and Sazed nodded. “Cool, give it to us,” he said. Kravitz turned back towards Barry quickly, making sure not to lose his hold on this guy.

“What? Why would we-” he started to ask, the necromancer cutting him off.

“He made that money selling my  _ brother in law,  _ I personally don’t think he gets to keep it!” he huffed, and after a moment Kravitz nodded. Sazed seemed to get the point at that, quickly retrieving a large pouch of money from his bag and tossing it towards Barry.

“Can I go now?” Sazed asked after handing the money over, and Kravitz glanced over at Barry again. There were so many more questions he wanted to ask, but it seemed like they wouldn’t be getting any more answers from this man. After a moment Barry nodded subtly, and with that Kravitz let go of the man. Immediately he was sprinting away, nearly falling over himself when he turned the corner at the end of the alley. Neither of them bothered to try and follow, and instead as soon as he was out of sight Kravitz turned back towards Barry.

Who was on the ground now, sitting with his back slumped against the wall and his head in his hands, looking the picture of defeated.

“You knew what that man was talking about,” Kravitz said, stomping over to him. For a moment he considered grabbing him by the scruff of his shirt to pull him up to his feet.

They were on the same side though, and despite how much he should still hate him as well, there was some begrudging fondness there. At least, he looked pretty pitiful right now, and Kravitz didn't like to think of himself as cruel. So instead he crouched down, sure his disguise was still glaring daggers despite his attempt to be a bit more gentle with all of this. Barry did look like someone had just gutted him.

“Tell me what’s going on,” he demanded, and Barry sighed.

“Wonderland is… it’s a legend I guess you could say, one of those hushed tales you tell kids to make sure they don’t go playing in the woods at night. Except it’s mostly talked about in uh, my sort of academic circles,” he started, and it didn’t take a genius to know what he meant by that.

“Necromancers,” Kravitz filled in, and Barry nodded.

“It’s a death trap, from what I hear it’s supposed to be like a siren’s song. You go there and get everything you could ever want, to the point that you don’t even realize you’re being drained by the liches who run it, and if you do notice you don’t  _ care,” _ he continued, and Kravitz froze at that.

“Liches?”

“Supposedly. I’ve never met anyone who’s gone there and managed to come back to tell the tale,” he said, and Kravitz slowly stood back up as he tried to make sense of all this.

He still had Taako’s hat in one hand, and the paltry amount of money he’d earned playing must have flown out when he was running across the square, not that he could bring himself to care. Taako giving it to him felt like mere moments ago. It  _ was _ mere moments ago, not even an hour having passed.

“Where is this Wonderland?” he asked, and Barry let out a bitter laugh at that.

“That’s the thing, huh? It’s- I’ve heard these stories for years, and the location of Wonderland was always a mystery. You didn’t _ go  _ there on your own, you were either lucky enough or unfortunate enough or whatever you wanted to call it to just be called there,” he said, slowly pulling himself back to his feet. Reaching around to his bag, he pulled out the map that they’d made yesterday of the Felicity Wilds.

“But if I had to take a wild fuckin guess, I’d say it’s probably right around here,” he finished, pointing to the center of the large, looping circle that Taako had walked them in.

“Then what are we waiting for?” Kravitz asked, already starting to storm out of the alleyway. He didn’t get very far before Barry darted in front of him, cutting off his path.

“Wait! Krav, wait, I want to save Taako too. I can’t- I just got him back, I can’t lose him again,” he said, and the pain in his voice sounded genuine to Kravitz. Despite every bit of his being urging him to go heading straight for this Wonderland place and pulling Taako out of there all by himself if he had to, Kravitz forced himself to stop, nodding as he waited for Barry’s point. “But we can’t just go stomping in there on our own! We need- we need a plan! If we just go rushing in blindly we won’t be able to save Taako  _ or _ Lup! Lup…  _ fuck,” _ he said, seeming to trail off some as he stumbled over to lean against the wall again, still apparently in a bit of shock.

“She’s been in there… the whole time… if she hasn’t been able to get out on her own by now there’s- I don’t know what we should do,” he said, and there was a long moment where Kravitz didn’t say anything. He didn’t want to admit that Barry was right. He needed to save Taako. It wasn’t a factor of some curse or spell anymore, it was what  _ he _ needed to do.

“Give me the money you took from the kidnapper,” he said after a moment. It was a direct enough command that Barry seemed to be able to do it almost on autopilot, only really seeming to register the command after already handing the bag over. Kravitz glanced inside, and the man had been right, they paid well for Taako. This would be more than enough. Without saying a word he turned, starting out of the alley and trusting that Barry would follow. At this point it didn’t make sense for Kravitz not to trust him, he didn’t have anyone else to turn to.

“Where are you going? What do you need the money for?” Barry asked, scrambling after him.

“I am going home. This should be able to cover train tickets without any issue,” he said, and Barry grabbed his wrist at that.

“Wait! Kravitz you can’t just  _ leave.  _ I need your help,  _ Taako _ needs you! I know the kind of emotions you have to be feeling right now can be overwhelming and fucking terrifying, but you can’t run away from this,” he begged. Kravitz stopped in his tracks, spinning around and pulling his hand out of the other man’s grip.

“I am not running away. I am going home, where I am going to tell my Queen about the  _ exact location _ of a blight of necromancy on her land, of the  _ liches _ that are feeding on her people, and I am going to request her aid in going into that place and saving-” he felt his voice falter slightly, something terrifying about saying it out loud, but he forced himself to continued, “and saving the people we love.”

Barry stared at him for a moment in stunned silence before slowly nodding, a grin spreading over his face.

“Alright then, it’s a plan. Let’s go.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> and _now,_ dear readers, we are what I would call Really In It Now 
> 
> as always thanks for reading and I hope you enjoyed!


	20. Between Stubborn and Hopeful

Taako couldn’t quite explain what happened.

He remembered waking up last night, talking to Kravitz until he fell asleep again. Could remember the panic that had gripped his chest when he woke up, but when he tried to think about it all the worry and confusion that was there slid away like ice.

So he ignored it, went back to sleep thinking about the suggestion Kravitz had made. They both knew that there was no way they could actually meet up again once Kravitz went back to being a guard, let alone for Taako to actually come visit him at the castle.

Still, it was a nice thought. Something for him to fall asleep fantasizing about without having to get too invested.

And when he woke up the next morning he could tell something was wrong. It was the same way he knew something was wrong when Kravitz or Barry would gently nudge him towards information he’d forgotten. Something off, just at the tip of his tongue but he couldn’t quite explain it. Couldn’t quite care enough to explain it.

That should probably be concerning. When he went to say something though what came out of his mouth was a request to do Sizzle It Up before they left to search the woods again. And as soon as he said it the words made sense, an explanation coming readily and easily when Kravitz and Barry questioned it. They agreed, and by the time him and Kravitz had left the inn he was almost convinced that this was exactly what he needed. Some cooking would get his mind right.

Suggesting Kravitz play while he cooked was much the same. Taako hadn’t meant to say it, but once he did he found himself wanting it. Kravitz deserved to get to play in front of people, of  _ course _ he was encouraging him. Of course he left his hat, it was about the spirit of the gesture.

And when he set up his stand a bit farther away, he only did it because there were no other convenient spots closer.

The comfortable haze of justification that had fallen over his mind for all of his actions started to break some when that creep showed up. Taako hadn’t even started cooking yet, but he could hear Kravitz’s music from where he was set up down the square. The man was all smiles as he came up, standing in front of his stand in just the right way to block his view of Kravitz.

He asked if they could go somewhere to talk about the recipes from his last show.

This time when Taako found himself speaking without his control there was no easy, comfortable explanation he could put in for why. He was just saying yes, when what he  _ should _ have done was told this guy to fuck off and packed up the whole set to get back to Kravitz.

What happened in reality was Taako nodding, following the man out of the town square without hesitation. Every ounce of his brain was trying to scream to stop, or to call out to Kravitz. Kravitz should have  _ noticed _ him walking off, right? Why wasn’t he coming to check out what was wrong?

They didn’t go far. The dude leading him a few streets down, constantly checking back over his shoulder like he was afraid someone was following them. Which he should be afraid. He should be fucking terrified and Taako should shoot his ass with a magic missile and  _ why couldn’t he do anything? _

Taako assumed they arrived at wherever this douche was leading them when they happened upon two elves, their faces lighting up at the sight of them coming into the alley.

These people didn’t look like they belonged in some back alley, leaning against dirt stained bricks and sitting on top of a trashcan.

They looked like they should be on a runway, decorated models standing in the kitschiest high end boutique imaginable. Everything was shimmering golds and reds and purples, heavy make up and even heavier gems. It was all exactly Taako’s style at his most excessive, and for a moment he was impressed.

“You made it! Thank you  _ so much  _ for fetching our guest dear,” the male elf said, pushing himself off from the wall.

“Yes, we’d have come to get him ourselves, but it’s a little hard to be inconspicuous when you’re this gorgeous,” the female elf added, not moving from her perch on the trashcan.

“Right uh, I did what you asked, so is it cool if we make this quick? Before that dude who watches this guy like a hawk notices he’s gone?” his kidnapper, or the middle man  _ for _ his kidnappers Taako supposed, said. The male elf sighed, looking disappointed.

“Straight to the point, no fun,” he complained, but the woman elf effortlessly slipped off the trashcan and came up to his side.

“No, no, he’s right. We really should get our dear guest here back to Wonderland as soon as possible. That spell won’t last forever after all,” she said, and the other elf pouted but didn’t argue anymore. With a wave of his hand a large pouch appeared, and when he tossed it at the dude it jingled loudly when he caught it. Out of the corner of his eye Taako could see the gold inside that he quickly inspected before nodding.

“Alright, he’s all yours,” he said, stepping back from Taako. The female elf rolled her eyes, and Taako got the distinct impression that this dude wouldn’t have been able to do shit if they wanted to take him without paying.

Taako kind of hoped that these people were completely dickwads, and when the douche turned and left they would fucking shoot him in the back or some shit, just to serve him right. They let him go though, and Taako was left paralyzed still as the male elf looked him over quickly.

“Okay let’s see, we’ll just take this, and this, and-  _ oh, _ these are nice. Ya know what, I’m in a good mood, you can keep these,” he said, taking his spellfocus and bag, but apparently feeling generous enough to let him keep his earrings. The female elf watched, sighing in annoyance.

“Are you done yet Edward?” she asked, and with a wave of his hand the items Edward took from him disappeared into some sort of pocket dimension.

“All done Lydia,” he announced. With that she grinned, walking over and putting a hand on his shoulder.

Taako had just enough control to glare daggers at her, and she frowned in what he could tell was mock disappointment.

“Now don’t be like that. We don’t know how you managed to avoid us for so long but you had to of known this was a long time coming,” she said, and Taako still couldn’t answer. She seemed to know that, because she didn’t wait for a response. Without any sort of fanfare, a simple snap of her finger and suddenly the scene around them changed. Taako didn’t think he’d ever teleported before, but he couldn’t imagine this sensation being anything else. It was like the ground dropped out from under him, but instead of him falling it was more like the world collapsed around him, only to be immediately rebuilt in a new location, a disorienting switch that nearly brought him to his knees.

Honestly the only reason it hadn’t was probably due to the fact that he still couldn’t move.

It was pitch black for a moment, and then with the sound of another snap the area he was in lit up. There were colorful square patches on the floors and walls, all glowing different colors and flashing along to music that had begun playing.

Those two elves were still in front of him.

And Taako could move again.

Without thinking twice he charged at the male elf, not his usual mode of operation but he was kind of desperate. The elf didn’t even bother trying to get out of the way, and Taako nearly fell on his face when he ran right through the dude. Stumbling clumsily to a stop, he turned and saw the two looking back at him with amusement.

They still looked solid as anything, but apparently that was another cheap trick.

“Now now, that was just rude,” Edward said, and Taako quickly tried to regain his composure, scoffing at that.

“Uh, I think it would be considered even more  _ rude _ to kidnap me. Before I even got a chance to do my show too! Hell, I didn’t get to listen to Kravitz finish  _ one song _ before that jackass y’all hired came and spirited me away,” he complained. He was already trapped, he didn’t see much of a reason to  _ not _ be upset and petty about the situation.

“Oh be honest with yourself dear, he’s not actually all that good,” Lydia said, and somehow that offended Taako more than the kidnapping thing.

“Well  _ I _ like his music,” he huffed. This was really not the point he should be focusing on, he needed to figure out what the fuck was going on. “Anyway, hey, Taako here. I hope you two can understand that I’ve got just a  _ few _ questions,” he said, and it was pretty annoying how eagerly they nodded.

“Of course, ask away. Can’t promise we’ll answer though!” Edward said, and well, it wasn’t like there was anything else Taako could do at the moment.

“Fair enough, I guess we’ll just go sort of big picture to start off with. Who the fuck are you and why the fuck did you kidnap me?” he asked, the twin elves giving each other a look at that.

“Well, like you said, kind of big picture there. To make it simple, we’re just a couple of siblings trying to make an honest living in this world. Surely you can relate to that,” Lydia said, although Edward frowned at that.

“Er,  _ living _ might not be the best word,” he said, his sister rolling her eyes.

“An honest  _ existence _ then, really it’s all the same in the end,” she said, and when she grinned there was something that Taako felt like he was missing. Something that was just at the edges of his memories the refuged to solidify.

His eyes widened at the realization that finally came to him.

Right.

Memories.

“You two, you’re why I can’t remember shit for fuck, aren’t you?” he snapped. Again they frowned at him, and it was all so condescending and fake.

“Now, I don’t think it’s really fair to blame us for that. After all, you were never  _ supposed _ to leave. Who knows what kind of side effects might come about,” Lydia said, and Taako paused at that. He still couldn’t recall shit, but even he was smart enough to be able to connect the dots when they were right in front of him.

“Leave? I was here before?” he asked, and Edward grinned at that.

“Of course you were! And we’re so glad to have you back. Really, we’ve never had a  _ repeat _ customer before,” he said, Lydia nodding in agreement.

“Customer for what?” he asked, but he could already tell that he wasn’t going to get a straight answer for this one. He kind of doubted that he would ever get a straight answer ever again.

“Oh, I’m sure you’ll see in due time. Now, why don’t you make yourself comfortable, and just holler if you need anything. We’ll be right here,” Edward said, and just like that the two vanished without a trace, leaving Taako alone. He imagined that they weren’t actually gone and were probably watching his every move.

But fuck that, he was going to find a way out of here.

Inspecting the walls at first came up with nothing. There were no doors, no grates to even let air flow or anything like that from what he could tell. Maybe there were some near the ceiling, covered up by illusions, but he couldn’t reach that high anyway. All there seemed to be was this all encompassing grid of lights that  _ wouldn’t stop flashing to let him think. _

Punching one in frustration, the light flickered the slightest bit at the impact. Hissing, Taako quickly waved his hand to try and shake out some of the pain, but mostly he was staring at this grid. It was a little difficult, the lights were bright, which made looking directly at it hard, especially when you didn’t know when a tile was going to flash without warning.

But this one was a little bit dimmer after hitting it, so he could see it a bit clearer. There were seams where the tiles met, and they couldn’t be the entirety of the wall. Digging a nail between two of the tiles, he could feel it scraping against actual wall after some trying.

Okay.  _ Okay.  _ This was something he might actually be able to work with. He wouldn’t say he was the smartest person, but he did  _ not _ appreciate being trapped.

Getting on his knees, Taako started to go along the edges of the room, bagging on the colorful tiles and then listening to the sound they made. He wasn’t sure what a hollow space behind one of these guys would sound like, but he figured it would be different than all the others. He got around about one and a half walls when he knocked on one and the noise it made was indeed distinct from the rest of them.

Not wasting any time he started trying to pry at the edges of the square. When it wouldn’t budge Taako leaned back, winding himself up and then kicking out with as much force as he could muster. He couldn’t quite tell what the thing was made out of, but it shattered under the force, scratching up his leg some in the process. He couldn’t give much of a shit through, pulling out as many large chunks as he could now to take a look inside.

There were wires and cords, most of them broken now from Taako’s manhandling, but more importantly there was a space. A small tunnel for air and the wiring from what he could tell, and it was just big enough for Taako to squeeze inside of.

Not thinking twice he started to push his way through, cursing whenever his hair or an earring or his clothes got caught on the wires and metal spokes, but like fuck was he going to stop now. Pushing through, Taako didn’t have any idea how long he spent crawling in the walls. There weren’t any grates to look through, it seemed to go on for fucking ever in never ending twists and spirals.

Until eventually, he reached a dead end.

Turning around wasn’t an option. Taako was not fucking going back after all that work. Pulling some of the metal that was holding the wiring out of the wall, he cursed to himself as he slowly unscrewed the metal plate that had been put in front of the end of the tunnel.

By the time he was done his fingers felt like they were going to fall off. He was scraped up to hell and covered in weird wall grunge, but  _ fuck _ if it wasn’t a relief to crawl out of the tiny tunnel.

Taako didn’t recognize the place he came out of. It seemed like it was still inside of this… wherever this place was, but the walls weren’t giant neon flashes of bullshit anymore. No, this area seemed to be a lot more subdued, some sort of long, dark hallway with offshoots every so often, leading where he had no fucking clue.

He knew he needed to keep moving. There was no way those fucked up elves or whatever they were hadn’t realized his escape by now. Still, Taako took a moment to just lean against the wall, catching his breath from all of that.

That’s when he heard footsteps.

Moving as quietly as he could Taako went to one of the hallway offshoots, hiding behind the corner. The footsteps were moving slowly, like the person was trying desperately to be quiet, but couldn’t quite manage it. He couldn’t remember if he’d actually heard Edward or Lydia when they walked before, but it didn’t seem like something they would do. They practically glided everywhere they went. This place was fucking huge though, so it made sense that they wouldn’t be the only ones here.

He could hear whoever it was getting closer, and Taako held his breath as they seemed to stop a few feet away. He could try to leave now and hope they didn’t hear him moving, or he could stay still and hope they didn’t look this way when they passed.

Then they spoke, and the familiar voice actually had Taako blinking back tears.

“Taako? Taako where  _ are _ you?” Kravitz called, barely speaking above a whisper. Not thinking twice Taako pushed himself off of the wall, running back out to the main hallway. He should have been expecting a trap, it would make sense for it to be a trap.

But when he turned the corner, there was Kravitz.

“Fucking- took you long enough,” he choked out, running over to him. Kravitz’s disguise was still up, so it was easy to see the distress on his face as he took Taako in, grabbing his shoulders as soon as he was within arms reach to really look him over.

“I came as fast as I could, I didn’t- what  _ happened _ to you?” he asked, brushing some of his hair out of his face. Taako laughed at the question, but it was more choked than he would have liked. It was stupid just how fucking relieved he was to see Kravitz. Stupid how much he wanted to pull him down into a kiss, not even caring that there wasn’t anything there under the illusion because it was  _ Kravitz _ and he passed the point of no return a long fucking time ago.

“A lot, I’ll tell you about it later. We gotta get the fuck outta here first, how’d you get in? Where’s Barry?” he asked, because as happy as he was to see Kravitz they were still in danger. He didn’t know who the fuck these elves were, but they were clearly dangerous. They couldn’t waste any fucking time.

“Wait,” Kravitz said, not letting go of Taako’s shoulders.

“Krav we really gotta-” he tried, but Kravitz shook his head, and it was way harder than it should be to say no when he was looking at him so earnestly.

“Just a moment. Taako, when you were gone saving you was the only thing I could think about. If anything happened to you I don't know what I would do with myself,” he said, and it felt like there was a lump the size of a whole ass chicken stuck in his throat when Taako tried to speak.

“Yeah, I mean, the charm-” he said, but Kravitz shook his head.

“No Taako, it had  _ nothing _ to do with that charm,” he said, a determination and resolution in his voice that Taako wasn’t used to. If the elves that ran this place didn’t find them and kill them, Taako might just die on the spot anyway. Kravitz leaned in closer, so close that he swore he could see the slight glow of blue gemstones in his eyes shining through past the illusion.

“Taako, I  _ love _ you,” Kravitz finished, his hands moving from his shoulders to cup his face and they-

And they weren’t cold.

Taako tore himself out of his hold, and it took everything to ignore the way he could feel himself shaking now. To try and ignore the look of devastation on Kravitz’s face. He told himself that didn’t matter, because this wasn’t…

“You’re not Kravitz. Where’s- what the fuck is going on?” he snapped, his voice not sounding anywhere near as angry as he wanted, instead coming out pained. The distress on Kravitz’s face slowly melted away, replaced with an amused smirk that somehow managed to hurt even worse.

“Well, aren’t you certainly a clever one,” he said, and it was still Kravitz’s voice but it didn’t  _ sound _ like Kravitz anymore. “And here I thought we were doing so well! You must admit, it was a convincing performance, we had you going for a while there, didn’t we?” he asked. When Taako didn’t say anything this  _ thing _ in the form of Kravitz pouted. “Ugh, you’re just as fun as your sister, which is to say not at all,” he complained.

Taako tried not to show how that comment made him flinch, trying his best to latch onto those words as much as possible. His sister. His  _ sister. _

With a sigh, this not-Kravitz raised one hand up, giving a loud, clear  _ snap. _

And in a puff of black smog he was gone, and the long, dark corridors around them were gone. When it cleared Taako found himself in that same small, brightly colored room as he’d started out in. Turning towards the hole he’d kicked through in the wall there was nothing but more rapidly flashing squares, everything as perfect as when he was first placed inside of it.

Taako didn’t really register collapsing. One moment he was standing and the next he was on his knees, all of the energy and adrenalin in his body drained in an instant. He kept blinking but the blurry haze over his eyes from tears refused to clear. Taako was not someone who fucking cried easily, he didn’t cry at all if he could help it.

Except it didn’t seem like he could help much of anything here.

“There there now, you did so well! That was one of the fastest escape attempts we’ve ever had here! So determined too, you should be proud of yourself,” Lydia said, and shaking his head some Taako could see two sets of feet in front of him now, wearing shoes that looked like they cost more than Taako’s soul. Taking a deep, shuddering breath Taako forced the tears to stop, because like fuck was he crying at their feet.

“So, was there a point to any of that, or are you guys just having fun?” he asked, looking up and setting them both with the nastiest glare he could muster.

“Of course there’s a point, there’s a reason for everything!” Edward said, before grinning wickedly. “I mean, that doesn’t mean it can’t also be fun, the best things in life always are after all,” he added.

“We’ve found that it’s best to let our guests see for themselves the sort of… properties we have here in Wonderland. Show don’t tell, allows you to understand much clearer,” Lydia said, and Edward nodded in agreement.

“We could go on and on and  _ on _ about how impossible it is to escape, there’s no use trying, bla bla bla until our lips turn blue, but even when we do that people still try anyway! It’s just  _ easier _ to let you get it out of your system now then having to deal with trying to explain it to you,” he added.

“And what was the point of bringing Kravitz into it?” he asked, his brain screaming that it wasn’t fair. He already knew how idiotic, how  _ useless _ his feelings for Kravitz were. He didn’t need someone throwing it back into his face like that.

“That, dear,” Lydia said, a downright sadistic grin on her face now, “was to make sure you understand, loud and clear, that  _ no one _ is coming to rescue you.”

The two disappeared without another word, and well, at least Taako could take a moment to sob in peace.

He didn’t know how long he ended up crying for, or even how long he’d actually been in this place by the time he finally stopped. The room was completely empty still, the unrelenting flashing walls and floors and ceilings not giving him any sort of judgment on the passage of time. He pulled himself over to one of the walls, just to slump against it for the smallest amount of comfort.

He had no fucking idea what these people wanted with him. He was getting hungry, but he didn’t know if they would bother with feeding him. Did they even want him alive? If not, why wouldn’t they have killed him already? If they wanted him alive then what for?

He didn’t have his wand, so he couldn’t cast anything higher than a cantrip. Taako really didn’t know how useful that would be after his last escape attempt. Even still, huddled up in on himself with his eyes closed tight, Taako figured he couldn’t possibly get any  _ more _ disappointed.

With that, he cast message.

_ ‘Krav? Can you hear me?’  _ he thought, hoping despite knowing that he shouldn’t. When no answer came, he tried again.

_ ‘Barry, you there? I could really use your help right now,’ _ he called out, again met with nothing but silence. He should stop at that, because there was no one else left to try. He didn’t have anyone else, he really was alone…

No. No that wasn’t right. He knew that wasn’t right because they’d been  _ trying _ to find someone. Kravitz and Barry always made sure to remind him, to make sure he didn’t forget. But they weren’t here now, they weren’t here and he couldn’t remember  _ who- _

…just as fun as your  _ sister… _

_ “Lup? Lup please, don’t leave me hanging here…” _ he called out, and there was a few long seconds where there was no response.

And then there was a voice in his head, so familiar despite not being able to put it to a face. Even still it made his heart swell, tears starting to prick back at his eyes for a completely different reason now.

The response was quick and simple, but it was a  _ response _ and Taako could _ work with this. _

_ ‘Who’s there?’ _

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> so i don't ever get the chance to play around with it but did y'all know the lotus eater machine is one of my favorite tropes of all time? well now you do. I'm really excited about everything from here on out, so I hope y'all enjoy the ride as well! 
> 
> as always thanks for reading and i hope you enjoyed!


	21. Homecoming

The train that Kravitz and Barry managed to catch would take about two hours to get back to Astral. Kravitz knew the layout of the major areas of the city pretty well, despite never spending much time outside of the castle walls. It would not take them long to get from the station to the palace once they arrived, so any planning they might need to do should take place on the train.

They should be planning, but all Kravitz could do was tap his feet and hands nervously, wishing he could somehow make the train move  _ faster _ already.

“So, what are we going to tell the Queen?” Barry asked, and he seemed just as frustrated and anxious about all of this as Kravitz was.

“Everything,” he answered bluntly, not sure the point of the question. They were going to tell the Queen anything she asked, anything she needed to know in order to help them get Taako back. He didn’t understand the uncertain look Barry was giving him at that.

“Like,  _ everything _ everything?” he asked, and Kravitz sighed in frustration. His disguise was still up, it would be for a few more hours, until they arrived in Astral at least. So he knew that Barry could see the annoyance on his face.

“What do you mean by that?” he asked, not sure how there could be different levels of ‘everything.’

“Are we going to tell her about the curse? About Lup? Should I even go in with you? I’ll do  _ anything _ if it means saving them but I’m kind of a wanted necromancer. Will having me there make it suspicious?” he asked, and the plethora of questions was exactly why Kravitz knew that they needed to have something planned.

He never really had to make a plan before, especially not about something this important. He didn’t know where to start.

“We will tell her anything she needs to know to assist in rescuing Taako. I imagine knowing about Lup will be crucial, as she is most likely trapped in this Wonderland place as well,” he said, and Barry nodded a bit hesitantly at that. “I will… have to explain my absence all of this time as well. The curse was an accident, she will understand,” he said, and he had told Taako the same thing. If he had just gone to her in earnest when it started they would never have been in this mess.

“And uh, what about me?” Barry pressed, and that was certainly the most difficult thing about all of this. The safest solution would be to leave Barry behind. He had the most accurate information on Wonderland though, he would be invaluable if they wanted to get in there and save everyone inside.

“I will… try to protect you in any way I can,” he said, and he knew that couldn’t have been the most reassuring thing. “But,” he continued, and it wasn’t like it had ever been a secret that he did not necessarily like Barry all that much. As frustrating as his existence was at times though, Kravitz couldn’t help but feel like it was only fair that he gave him an out on this. He was the closest person to a friend he had other than Taako. “I will understand if you feel it is too dangerous for you to go into the castle. If you wish you may leave, I can take the map and do it myself.”

“I…” Barry said, actually looking a bit speechless for a moment, before a smile spread across his face. “Thanks bud, but I meant what I said. I’ll do anything I can to make sure we get them back, and if you think I might be able to help then I’m coming with you,” he said, and Kravitz couldn’t help but feel grateful for that.

“I think you will be of some assistance. The Queen will not want to go charging in blindly and put lives at risk unnecessarily. You are the most knowledgeable source we have about Wonderland,” he explained, and Barry shrugged a little at that.

“I mean, that’s not really a lot of info my dude,” he said, and Kravitz knew that. He had been clear that most of the information he had could qualify as nothing more than rumors.

It was all they had though, so it had to count for something.

It was quiet for a bit after that, the only sounds the murmurs from the other passengers on the train and the train itself, moving along at an incredible pace that Kravitz still couldn’t help but wish was just a little bit faster.

“Kravitz?” Barry asked after some time, breaking the silence. Kravitz didn’t say anything, but he already had an idea of what this was going to be about from his tone of voice. “Why didn’t you say anything about the curse lifting? Do you know how  _ hard _ Taako was working to fix that?” he asked, and Kravitz tilted his head at that.

“What do you mean?” he asked, because he knew that Taako insisted they were still working on getting the charm lifted. He had assumed that it had mostly been pushed aside while they searched for Lup though.

“You remember when Taako was pulling me aside everyday so we could talk without you listening?” he asked, and Kravitz nodded. Of course he remembered that, he had not been much of a fan of it. “That was all for the curse. Taako wanted to check in every damn day to see if either of us had found anything that might work,” he explained, and he supposed it should make sense. Taako had insisted that freeing Kravitz was important to him.

Somehow though, knowing that still left him a little speechless.

“So why didn’t you  _ say anything?” _ Barry pressed, and Kravitz sighed.

“It- it had not been for long. I think it might have happened when- shortly after I discovered how I… feel about Taako,” he started, and he could see the surprise on Barry’s face and forced himself to continue. “It was easier to not say anything.”

“What do you mean?” he asked, raising an eyebrow at that.

“If Taako knew that I was no longer compelled to stay by his side he would insist that I return to the palace. I do wish to go back too. I enjoy my work there, I miss it terribly,” he said, and Barry nodded along. As frustrating as other aspects of his personality were, namely how cavalier he was about the laws of life and death, he was a very good listener.

“But as much as I know I must return, I did not… I do not want to until I know Taako is safe and has been reunited with his family. If I simply pretended the curse was still in effect then I wouldn’t have to choose. I wouldn’t be able to choose, I would have to stay,” he explained. Barry was quiet for a moment, and Kravitz wasn’t sure what he was thinking.

“That makes sense. It’s easier if it’s not in your hands, ya know?” he said, and Kravitz nodded sharply at that.

When the train finally came to a stop in Astral Kravitz barreled off of it as fast as he could manage. It was surely considered rude, but he couldn’t care all that much.

It had been over three hours all together now. Three hours where Taako was missing, stuck in some necromantic deathtrap. Every moment they wasted was one where they might not be able to bring him back out.

Running through the city Kravitz tried not to let himself think about that. He couldn’t accept that possibility until he saw it with his own eyes. He had to believe that there was still a chance to save him.

They were nearly at the castle when Kravitz stopped. Barry was barely managing to keep pace behind him, leaning over and panting as soon as he caught up. Grabbing the necromancer by the shoulder he pulled him into an alleyway. He got a confused look in response, but Kravitz didn’t wait for him to ask what was up before explaining.

“I cannot go into the palace looking like this, and we do not have time to wait for the illusion to drop on its own. You’re a powerful wizard, dispelling it should not be any sort of issue,” he said, and he could see the moment where it clicked in his head. There was some obvious surprise on Barry’s face as he nodded, fumbling to pull out his wand. He paused before actually casting though, looking at Kravitz uncertainly.

“You’re sure you’re cool with me using magic on you?” he asked, and he could understand the confusion. Under any other circumstance he never would have considered it.

“We don’t have time,” Kravitz said with no room for argument in his voice, and Barry nodded. He didn’t seem to need any more explanation than that, and the dispel was quick. In an instant the illusion dropped, and it would not return until they managed to retrieve Taako from Wonderland. Or maybe it would never be cast again. He was going back to the palace. Even once they had Taako back there would be no reason at this point to hold onto silly illusions.

He didn’t understand why that thought hurt so much, but he didn’t have time to think about it. Stepping out of the alley, Kravitz intended to keep moving straight to the castle without any more interruptions.

But then he caught his reflection in a nearby shop window, and Kravitz came to a halt.

The illusion was indeed gone, so he should look like every other construct guard that was still left defending the palace. Unique as the personalities given to their cores were, their constructed bodies were rather interchangeable. They were a made product, with a single defined purpose that, although they were treasured, were not irreplaceable.

A long explanation short, they weren’t  _ people. _

Looking at himself now though, even with that illusion gone, all Kravitz could notice was that he looked like a person.

He couldn’t stop moving for one thing. The unreadable, stone faced posture was gone, everything about his stance now reading worry and panic and fear. The cloak around his shoulders which showcased the symbol of his Queen and his alliance to her was no longer the crisp, pristine ornament it had been. The feathers were ruffled, some having completely fallen out. The cloak itself was in need of a wash, dirt and dust collecting along the end of it. The whole thing was rumpled from the bag he had slung around himself, the one that held his books and the violin Taako had gifted him. Those items that were his alone. Even his construct wasn’t in the best shape anymore, small scratches and scuff marks from their travels. Nothing that would hinder his performance but things that would have been quickly cleaned and repaired had he been living in the palace.

“Hey, you okay buddy?” Barry asked, knocking Kravitz out of his thoughts. He forced himself to nod, tearing his gaze away from the shop window and continuing on to the castle.

He didn’t think it was possible to actually see a soul in someone, but he was starting to have second thoughts.

When they reached the palace there were guards out front. Living guards, which was unsurprising. They often had the constructs monitoring parameters and such during the day. Those more approachable were in the spots where people actually came in and out of the palace. There was some clear confusion and concern there when they saw a construct barreling up to the palace at top speed.

“I need to speak to the Queen immediately,” he said as soon as he came to a halt. To his eternal frustration the guards did not step aside, instead taking an agonizingly long moment to look him over, and then look over Barry at his side.

“What was that now?” one asked, and there was a slight suspicion in her voice that took Kravitz a second to realize what the issue was. He managed to keep himself from cursing, which would only make the situation look worse.

“Formal request to meet with the Queen immediately. The situation is dire and we do not have time to waste,” he said. It didn’t seem to sway the guards any though, one still keeping his full attention on Kravitz while the other focused on Barry.

“And who are you? There’s something familiar about you,” she asked, and Kravitz didn’t expect this to take so long. He was one of the Queen’s constructs.

“I’m not- look, it’s really not important right now. He’s telling the truth, we need to talk to the Queen as soon as possible,” Barry said, and Kravitz could see the moment the guard inspecting him put it together.

“Necromancer!” she shouted, drawing her sword on Barry.

“Stop!” Kravitz tried, but before he could get between the two of them the other guard was in his way, sword also drawn. Kravitz froze, and the one in front of him took that moment to let out a loud whistle alarm, one Kravitz knew well. It was a signal to bring forth more guards, including the constructs.

“He’s taken control of a construct! Get its core!” the first guard shouted, keeping Barry in place with her sword. Kravitz immediately stumbled back at that, trying to put distance between them to protect himself.

“Stop this at once! He’s done no such thing. Please, I just need to speak to the Queen, I will not harm my fellow guards,” he begged, jumping back when the guard attempted to go for his core. Barry had already been forced down onto his knees, arms behind his back and his wand taken from him.

“We’re not the bad guys here, please just hear us out!” Barry shouted, but otherwise he was complying as more guards started to come onto the scene.

“The necromancer has taken control of a construct and is attempting to get to the Queen! Apprehend it,” the guard commanded the others, and Kravitz could feel himself start to get cornered now. If he needed to he could fight off the living guards, but he could see at least three other constructs rushing towards him now as well.

“Please listen to me, I’m not under anyone’s control! We do not want to fight,” he tired, watching in distress as it only seemed to fall on deaf ears. Taking a step back, there were guards behind him now as well. He could feel the panic start to set in, watching as two guards started to pull Barry to his feet, his hands cuffed behind him. Could hear more shouts to remove his core until he could be safely rid of any necrotic influences.

And he could imagine Taako, still trapped, the liches holding him draining every bit of life that Kravitz had fallen so in love with until there was nothing left.

Without thinking Kravitz pulled out the violin, not bothering with the stone accommodations Taako had created for him.

“I said  _ stop!” _ he shouted, drawing the bow across the strings in one long, enraged note. The sound seemed to double over on itself, over and over again into the sound of a thunderclap. The shockwave sent the guards that had been surrounding him flying back, landing in a large circle on the courtyard with him at the center. As the note faded the area was left deathly quiet, the human guards staring at him in shock, the other constructs pausing as well, as if unsure about how to proceed.

“What is the meaning of this?”

Immediately Kravitz recognized the voice, and when he looked up at the balcony overlooking the courtyard he knew who he’d see. Somehow though it still felt like a surprise, and without thinking twice Kravitz lowered the violin and dropped to a knee.

“My Queen, I apologize profusely for my absence these past few months. As much as I wish to return to your side at once there is an urgent matter that is vital for you to know about first,” he said, keeping his head bowed. He didn’t look up at her, and the long moment where she didn’t say anything felt like a century.

“Very well. Guards, escort the construct to the throne room so that he may explain the situation,” the Queen said finally, and the relief that ran through him was nearly overwhelming. It didn’t last long though, as he stood up he could see a few of the other guards starting to pull Barry away.

“I will need the necromancer as well,” he urged. Actually looking at the queen now he could see the hesitance there, but after a moment she nodded.

“Understood. Bring the necromancer as well,” she said before turning and heading back into the palace. Kravitz didn’t fight as the guards started to walk the two of them inside now. It felt wrong to be escorted in like this, like he was some sort of danger to the Queen. He told himself he could understand the caution though. That if some other guards had been hit by Taako’s spell and he had been left here he would not have thought twice to make sure this strange construct walking around with a known necromancer did not have a chance to do anything to hurt the Queen.

When they got to the throne room the Queen was already there, sitting at the head with an unreadable expression on her face. Kravitz let himself be walked up in front of her, dropping to his knees again as soon as he came to a stop. There was a flash of irritation when they forced Barry to his knees as well, but he didn’t let it show for now. They could deal with all of that later.

“My Queen, again I apologize for abandoning my post. It was never my intention to leave or to stay away for as long as I had,” he said, and Kravitz had thought about being able to finally return to the palace often. There was none of the relief or comfort he’d hoped for now, and he did not imagine there would be until he could ensure Taako’s safety once and for all.

“When you had disappeared without any trace we had been concerned you were captured and destroyed. It is a relief to see that you are well Kravitz,” the Queen said. It was not until she said his name did he realize just how worried he’d been that she would not recognize him. “However, you have changed,” she continued, and Kravitz nodded.

“I have,” he admitted, because there was not much else to say besides that. He had so thoroughly changed and he knew she could see that in him. She nodded subtly, before turning her eyes onto Barry still kneeling beside him.

“And is this the one who stole you from your post?” she asked, a clipped tone to her voice. Kravitz shook his head, and thankfully Barry seemed to get the idea that it was best for him to stay quiet for now.

“No, that was… someone else. He’s not here now,” he said, and even though her face barely changed Kravitz could see the intrigue there. The slightest curiosity at his hesitation to say exactly who had been the one to take him. “My Queen, I assure you I will provide a full report on the nature of my absence and my inability to return for such a prolonged time, but as I said before I come to you with urgent information that must be acted on as soon as possible,” he said.

“Of course. Please explain what the issue is,” she said. Taking a moment to get his words together, Kravitz climbed to his feet before speaking. The most polite thing to do would be to continue to bow, but he needed to stand for this. He needed everyone to see just how much of a threat this was. How urgent it was that they take care of it.

“We,” he started, gesturing at Barry still on his knees at his side, “have found the location of a necromantic stronghold known as Wonderland in the center of the Felicity Wilds. We know of at least two liches that have been luring, and in some cases outright kidnapping citizens and trapping them there to be used as they see fit,” he explained. The Queen’s face was grim as he spoke, and when she didn’t try and jump in for a comment he turned back towards Barry.

“The necromancer here has been instrumental in uncovering this information and is the best source I have found on what anyone inside of Wonderland might face,” he said. Barry took that as his cue. He didn’t stand, instead speaking from where he was still kneeling on the ground.

“Okay so, first things first I’m real sorry about the books your Majesty. You can have em back, if you want,” Barry started. Kravitz coughed, and considering everything everyone in the room knew it wasn’t natural, but it got Barry to get back to the point. “Right, so Wonderland. I don’t know how much you all know about it here but it’s a legend in necromantic circles. It’s said that the liches in there keep you trapped by exploiting your own desires. It’s the perfect trap because once you’re inside you don’t want to leave, even as the life is sucked right out of you,” he explained.

“My Queen, we do not have any idea how many people are trapped in this place or how many have already been lost to it, but we must act now. Eradicate the liches and free all those still inside,” he said, praying that she would listen. The Queen was quiet for a long moment, her face still unreadable.

“You are correct, my loyal sentinel. We cannot allow such an evil place to continue to exist and pray on innocents,” she said finally. Relief flooded through Kravitz at that and he could hear Barry release a held breath below him. The Queen stood, and up on her throne he actually had to look up at her. “You claimed to have determined the location of this place?” she asked. Kravitz nodded quickly, grabbing the map out of his bag. Another guard came over, taking it from him and delivering it to the Queen, who carefully started looking it over.

“We uh, believe it to be in the center of the pattern we were tracking,” he explained, seeing her nod ever so slightly. After a moment she rolled the map back up, handing it over to the guard again.

“Deliver the map to the general and have them begin research into Wonderland. See which if any of the necromancer’s claims we can verify. Begin conducting recruitment for volunteers to scout the Felicity Wilds as well,” she said, and Kravitz couldn’t help but start to feel antsy.

“My Queen, how soon do you estimate that we will be able to run an assault on Wonderland?” he asked, and the smile she gave him was tired.

“It is too early to say. I trust that you have done your research on this place well, but if that is true then it is incredibly dangerous. It will take time for us to ensure a safe course of action,” she said, and Kravitz knew that what he should do was nod and fall into line. He was a simple guard, and a construct at that. He was not in a position to question the Queen’s orders, especially ones as sensible as what she had just laid out.

“My Queen, we can’t wait that long!” he shouted despite all of that. The shock from everyone in the room was apparent. The only people who didn’t seem surprised by his outburst was Barry and the Queen herself.

“And why is that, my Kravitz?” she asked, sounding perfectly calm. There was a part of Kravitz that was thankful he could not have his illusion up here, even if a part of him had already begun to miss it terribly. It took several long, painful moments for Kravitz to get his words in order, to actually figure out what he was going to say. He could insist that Wonderland was too dangerous to leave alone, could emphasize the severity of the laws they were breaking. None of those were the actual reasons though, and despite how much had changed he did not wish to lie to his Queen.

“There is someone currently trapped in Wonderland. We cannot-  _ I _ cannot sit ideally by while he is in danger,” he said, and when he said it out loud it sounded so small.

“I can assure you we will not be sitting ideally, but we cannot rush in fool heartedly either. I will do everything in my power to assure that everyone currently trapped in this twisted place is returned safely, but I will not throw my subjects into a situation they may not return from without knowing all that I can first. That is final,” she said, and it was much harder than it should have been to nod.

“Yes, my Queen,” he managed to say after a moment. Her shoulders seemed to relax the slightest bit at that.

And then she turned towards Barry.

“Guards, please escort the necromancer to the stockade, where he will be held until a trial can be conducted,” she declared. Immediately the guards that had been standing at Barry’s sides grabbed him, pulling him back to his feet.

“Hey! This isn’t- I’m on your side here!” Barry shouted, not actually trying to fight against them. Kravitz quickly stepped forward, looking between the Queen and Barry.

“My Queen, please. This necromancer is the only reason we know anything about Wonderland. He will be imperative for an assault,” he tried. The Queen nodded, not looking very moved.

“There is no reason he cannot help us from inside of the stockade. Perhaps if he complies and proves himself willing to atone for the crimes he has already committed I will see fit to lower his sentence once all of this is over,” she said. Kravitz wanted to argue, to insist that Barry was different from other necromancers. That he had no proof that he had been conducting anything evil with his work, that despite all logic the man was a friend.

He’d already argued too much today though. Already insisted and contradicted his Queen well past his station should ever dream of. He was lucky that he was being welcomed back into her retinue after everything, that she was giving him time to tell the whole story later and willing to put it aside for now to focus on Wonderland.

So all he could do was step back and nod, hating the way he felt when Barry looked at him distraught.

“Kravitz? Krav are you serious? You’re just going to let them take me? Kravitz! Bud…” Barry called out to him, and Kravitz stood as still as he could as he was dragged out of the room to the stockade. Once he was gone it was quiet, many of the guards starting to file out as well. Not all of them though. Kravitz got the feeling that he was not exactly trusted alone with the Queen anymore.

He wondered if they were right to feel that way.

Even still, when she walked up to him he couldn’t help but feel comforted by her stare, relax some as she reached up and placed a hand on his shoulder.

“I can see that you have been through much these past few months, my loyal guard. Perhaps you should head to the garden to ground yourself,” she said. Kravitz wanted to insist that he did not have time to relax, but after a moment he sighed and nodded.

“Yes, I believe that would be best,” he said. The Queen nodded, letting go of his shoulder.

“We will talk about the rest of your journey away from us later,” she added. Kravitz nodded again, words failing him now. All he could do was bow before following her instructions and heading to the garden. The hallways were all immediately familiar, the layout of the castle not having faded from his memories in the slightest despite the months that had passed.

It should feel like the most natural thing in the world, being back like this.

So he had no idea why it felt like he was going to fall apart at the seams.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> so if you haven't picked up by now this chunk of the story has alternating chapters of Kravitz and Taako POV, gonna be like that for the next little while. I am only a little sorry for the elongated cliffhangers this creates. 
> 
> as always, thanks for reading and i hope you enjoyed!


	22. A Bond

_ “Who’s there?” _ Lup’s voice rang through his head. It took everything in Taako’s power not to react out loud to the familiar voice. The liches could still be watching him and no matter what happened or what this meant he did not want them to know he had this. He wasn’t going to let them twist it or take it away too.

_ “Taako, it’s uh, it’s Taako,”  _ he responded, staying curled up against the wall. Not showing his face, not showing anything and struggling to keep the line for the message spell clear and open. He didn’t know where Lup was and he didn’t want to lose her again.

_ “Who? I don’t… doesn’t ring a bell,” _ she said, and maybe he should have expected something like that. He could barely remember her after all, or well he couldn’t  _ really _ remember her at all. All he could hold onto was the assurances that others had told him and the feeling of relief near about exploding in his chest at the sound of her voice.

_ “I’m your brother, I uh, I think at least,”  _ he said, wondering if he could get some sort of ghost of a memory out of her as well. Instead he could feel some sort of disgruntled confusion from her at the idea.

_ “What are you talking about? I don’t have a- I don’t… shit. Shit, this is another trick, isn’t it? Get out! Get out! Get out!” _ Lup was shouting in his mind now, sounding more and more distressed as time went on. It felt like a real good thing that he’d basically let himself curl into a ball on the floor at this point, the picture of dejected so that there was no way to see his face.

_ “It’s not a trick, I swear! I don’t remember shit either,” _ he tried, but it was clear that Lup wasn’t listening, repeating that same ‘get out’ over and over again like she was trying to block out any other thoughts from him. She probably was, if she thought he was those fucking liches having gotten into her mind. Still, Taako couldn’t give up, this was the only fucking thing he had to hold onto right now.

_ “I’ve been looking for you. I don’t know what the fuck I can say to convince you this is real but me and- and Barry, we’ve been searching and-”  _ he tried, pausing when Lup’s chanting cut out abruptly.  _ “Lup?”  _ he asked, worried that he’d lost the connection. Worried that she was gone and soon he’d forget this conversation had ever happened and wouldn’t ever get it back again.

_ “Barry? You- you know Barry?” _ she asked, her voice sounding so tentative. Taako couldn’t help but perk up some at that, although he tried not to show it.

_ “Fuck yeah! He’s a huge dork,” _ he said, and he could tell that Lup was still being cautious, but something small had lowered at this point. He wished he had some means of communication other than a voice in his head, but it would have to do for now.

_ “What’s our relationship?” _ she asked, and when Taako didn’t answer right away she continued.  _ “What did Barry say we are?”  _ she pressed.

_ “Oh right, uh,” _ he thought, and thankfully it didn’t take him too long to remember that one. It was something Barry mentioned often, he seemed real jazzed about it.  _ “You’re engaged, right?” _ he asked, and the response he got from Lup was a relieved, disbelieving laugh.

_ “Hell yeah we are. First thing I’m doing once I’m out of this joint is marrying that nerd,” _ she said, and Taako made sure his face was well hidden as he smiled at that.  _ “So, you’re real? You’re not just another sick trap from those fuckers are you?” _ she asked, sounding afraid to be hopeful. Taako had no idea exactly how long she’d been here, but if it was anywhere near as long as she’d been missing he couldn’t blame her in the slightest.

_ “Yup, or at least I fucking think I am. I have no way of knowing you’re not some trick either, but since I just got here so I guess I’m willing to take that risk,” _ he said. Lup was quiet for a moment, and just when Taako was starting to get worried that the connection had been severed again she spoke.

_ “I… I don’t remember how long I’ve been in here now, but like fuck am I not gonna take any chance I have at getting out. I don’t know if I can trust you, but worst things worst I’ve just got another failed attempt under my belt,” _ she said.

Taako didn’t realize how worried he was that she might try and pull away from him until she said that, the relief flowing through him like cool water. She was here and they were going to work together. The amount of trust he automatically felt with this person he couldn’t remember for the life of him should probably raise some red flags, but Taako couldn’t really bring himself to care.

This was his sister. Lup was his sister and he just had to keep clinging onto that thought as much as possible, he couldn’t lose it. He didn’t know if he could get out of here if he lost her.

_ “So, what even is this place? Why the fuck are we here?” _ he asked, because if she had been here longer she might have a better idea of what was going on. He wasn’t sure how he could figure out how to leave if he didn’t even know where he was to start off with.

_ “It’s called Wonderland. The assholes who run it are liches and I don’t… they trap people here to use their energy to sustain themselves. They drain them and then throw them out, but for some reason they’re not draining  _ me. _ I’ve been here for so long and I don’t have any idea what they want me for, other than that they’re waiting for something,” _ she explained, and it wasn’t much of an explanation. Still, Taako frowned as he tried to think about that.

He wished he still had his hat. He could use something to throw over his face to block out all the lights.

_ “You think it might be me?” _ he asked, continuing with an explanation quickly afterwards.  _ “Barry said we’re siblings, and I- I know I lost someone. Those fuckers specifically came after me, what if whatever they’re doing needs both of us?” _ he guessed, because it was the only thing that made sense.

_ “Can’t imagine it’s great that you’re here now then,” _ Lup said, which was fair. If his guess was right that definitely wasn’t good.

_ “Yeah probably not. How the fuck do we get out of here then? I tried to escape already but I didn’t… I don’t think I actually went anywhere. It was all just a shitty illusion, it wasn’t… he wasn’t…” _ he trailed off, hating the pain that rose up in his chest as he thought about what happened.

It was so stupid of him. He should have known it was a trap, never should have expected that Kravitz would actually be there. He should have known that he wouldn’t ever return those feelings. The only reason he did anything to protect Taako was because of the charm. The  _ curse. _

Maybe he would be free now. It already seemed to be a bit on the fritz lately. Maybe Kravitz would think he was dead, the spell would break and he could go back to the palace where he belonged.

_ “That bad huh?” _ Lup asked, and it was hard for Taako not to flinch at the question.

_ “What are you talking about?” _ he asked, trying to pull him mind from his previous thoughts. 

_ “Like I said, I’ve been here a while. I know the kind of bullshit those liches like to pull,” _ Lup explained, which made sense. They had even said that this was something they did to new people, let them ‘get it out of their system’ and that bullshit.  _ “What’d they make you see?” _ she asked, and Taako wanted to brush aside the question. It wasn’t important in the grand scheme of things. His vision wasn’t going to give them the secret on how to escape.

It wasn’t like there was anything else to do in here now though. A part of him wanted to talk to Lup too, even if he couldn’t articulate why.

_ “I crawled out through the air ducts, found one behind one of the glowing flash panels and managed to pry it free,” _ he started, and he’d started playing with his hair at this point. There was nothing else to do and he needed something to occupy his hands with as he talked about this.

_ “I uh, I ran into a friend. Once I was out of the ducts. Said he’d come to save me, but uh, surprise surprise, it wasn’t really him,”  _ he finished, more than a little bitterness leaking in at that.

_ “They did the same to me at first,” _ Lup said, which was what Taako figured.  _ “With Barry. I’d try to get out and sometimes I’d think I finally managed to find him but it was never real. It got to the point where if I was trying to get out and I saw Barry I just- I knew it was all fake,”  _ she continued, a devastation to her voice that Taako was terrified he would get to sooner rather than later.

_ “Why do you trust me now then? If you know the liches can make up shit about Barry?” _ he asked, curious.

_ “They don’t know we’re still engaged. I never let it slip before, as far as they’re concerned he’s already my husband,”  _ she explained, and Taako couldn’t help but be impressed by that.  _ “As far as I’ve been able to tell they’re not omnipotent, even if they try and pretend they are. They have control of this space and they can read active thoughts, but I don’t think they have access to all our memories.” _

_ “Huh, good to know,” _ he said, and he figured he didn’t have to tell Lup that they would have to be careful. They couldn’t find out they had this line of communication, no matter what.

_ “Must be a pretty important friend,” _ Lup said then, and the voice sounded casual but Taako could hear some teasing there. He didn’t let it show on his face, even if he wanted to huff.

_ “What do you mean by that?” _ he asked, maybe sounding a little too forceful. Lup didn’t seem bothered though, answering the question easily.

_ “I mean, the person they chose to taunt me with is my fiancé. I- I know I’ve forgotten a lot, I can barely remember anything about what happened before I came here, but I remember him. These lich assholes know exactly what to do to cut right through your heart, so whoever this friend of yours is you must care about each other a lot,” _ she said. Taako wanted to argue with that, and it wasn’t like he would really even care if it was a lie anyway.

Instead though he curled up a little more, shut his eyes a little tighter as he tried to shake away the image of that fake Kravitz looking at him like he was the sun.

_ “No, I uh, I think that’s kinda a one way street,” _ he said, because the last thing he was going to do was let some assholes’ manipulative tactics make him think he actually had a chance. That Kravitz wasn’t probably just pleased that this whole thing was over from his end.  _ “I don’t think he’s coming for me.” _

_ “Well, if it’s any consolation that’s probably for the best if you don’t want him dead,” _ Lup said, which was fair. A part of Taako was hoping the spell had broken, or else Kravitz would have no choice but to come for him. He wasn’t sure how well he’d managed if the poor guy died trying to save him. Not when he was just starting to figure out what it was like to be alive.

_ “Whoever this dude is though, you’re totally into him aren’t you?”  _ Lup asked suddenly, and Taako bulked at that. Like, she wasn’t wrong but he didn’t think it was that obvious.

_ “No! What makes you think that?”  _ he asked, and he could hear the amusement in her voice as she answered.

_ “You sounded like a sad puppy when you said that, and your whole tone when you’re talking about him. It just… it reminds me a lot of when I think about Barry,” _ she said, her tone shifting into something more somber. Taako wanted to keep arguing, but it was clear that she’d read him pretty damn well.

_ “Fine, but like I said, it’s a one way street here. Plus I’m probably gonna die in this hell of flashing lights and loud music anyway, so it’s not like it matters,”  _ he said.

_ “Well, it might be good for you to keep him in mind anyway. It uh, it helps. Whatever good memories you can cling to in this place to keep you grounded. The real ones,” _ Lup said after a moment, and Taako supposed that made sense. He could definitely see how having something to focus on could help, especially when so much of your mind seemed to be slipping away.

_ “I’ll keep that in mind,” _ he said, and he was getting tired now. He didn’t know if he would even be able to sleep with all these lights and noise though. He guessed it was a torture thing, make it hard to sleep or focus or do anything that might lead to figuring out an escape plan.

_ “Cool, cool,” _ Lup said, and something sounded kind of off about her voice. Before he could ask if everything was okay she blurted out  _ “Shit,” _ suddenly sounding choked and near tears.

_ “Lup? What’s going on?” _ he asked, terrified that something might have happened. That those assholes might have realized what they were doing.

_ “Nothing, nothing it’s fine. It’s stupid, just, shit. It’s been so long since I’ve talked to anyone, and I don’t know. This is gonna sound weird because I don’t remember you at all, but I think I really missed you?”  _ she explained, and Taako felt pretty certain she was crying at this point. At least he could guess that wasn’t a very uncommon think to happen here, so it might not arouse too much suspicion.

_ “No, no I get it. I think I missed you too,”  _ he said, because he could understand exactly where she was coming from. It was kind of nice to know that it wasn’t just him honestly. Neither of them said anything for a bit, and Taako knew they should be wrapping this all up soon. They needed to be safe about it, to be smart. He didn’t want to let go yet though, he didn’t want to risk not being able to get her back.

_ “You said you just got here today, right?”  _ Lup asked after a moment.

_ “Yeah, shitty fucking day,” _ he said, and he could feel his agreement on that.

_ “You should try to get some rest. I don’t know how we can get out yet, but we can’t rush into it. Once they know we have this it’s over, we need to be sure of what we’re doing before we make a move,” _ she said, and she was right. That didn’t mean Taako was happy at all about the prospect of having to wait.

_ “I don’t know if I can sleep with the dumb lights and noise,”  _ he said, and he couldn’t believe there had been a single moment where he thought it looked cool.

_ “It helps if you wrap something around your eyes, sucks because you can’t keep an eye on your surroundings, but it’s not like these liches need to sneak up on us here, trust me,” _ Lup said, which was good advice.

_ “Alright, I think I should be able to figure something out here,” _ he said, and he knew he needed to end the spell soon. They probably shouldn’t even risk having it going on this long in the future to be safe, but he still hated the idea.  _ “We’ll talk later, okay?” _ he said, trying not to sound as uncertain as he felt. He wasn’t going to forget this. He needed to hold on, to stay grounded.

_ “Definitely. Talk to you later Taako,” _ Lup said, and he was pretty sure she was trying to sound more confident than she was as well. It was crazy, how much she sounded like him.

_ “Later Lup,”  _ he said, finally ending the spell. He didn’t sit up right away once he cut it off, not wanting to give anything away in case they felt even the slightest change in the magic around him. About ten minutes later, it was hard to tell time in this shitty place Taako sat up, rubbing at his eyes and not even having to fake the the absolutely miserable expression on his face.

Looking down at his clothes, his robe wasn’t anywhere near as nice and fancy as Kravitz’s. All that meant now though was that Taako didn’t feel any remorse as he tore a few large strips off, wrapping them around his eyes to block out the light. It did help some, and he bunched up the remaining bits into a poor imitation of a pillow.

It was better than nothing though, and after what felt like an eternity Taako managed to fall asleep.

When he woke up the room around him was still the same. There was a small flash of panic at having something tied around his eyes, but the situation came back to him fast enough that he barely bothered to lift up the strips of fabric to check before pulling them back down again.

His first instinct was to try and find another way to get out, but he didn’t quite bother yet. They needed to be smart about this. Plus, he was fucking starving.

It wasn’t too long after he’d woken up when he heard a voice suddenly in the room with him. He hadn’t heard anyone come in, but that wasn’t too much of a surprise at this point. He only bothered lifting the fabric up over one of his eyes to scowl at the liches who had joined him.

“Well, it looks like someone’s had a good night’s sleep!” Lydia said, and they were both just as extravagantly dressed as the last time Taako had seen them, deep purple outfits with shimmering gold lace that managed to catch the lights around them. If he had to take a bet they were probably both still as incorporeal as fuck too.

When he didn’t say anything Edward pouted, hands on his hips as he looked down at where Taako was laying sprawled out on the floor. It wasn’t like he felt a real strong need to get up and interact with these assholes after all, why even bother sitting up?

“Now that’s no fun. There’s no need to be a grouch when we went and brought you  _ breakfast,” _ Edward said, and with a wave of his hand a plate appeared on the ground in front of Taako. Taking an exaggerated deep breath Taako pushed himself up so that he was sitting and could look at the plate more clearly. It smelled real, and when Taako picked it up it felt real too. Just a simple plate of eggs and hashbrowns, some ketchup squirted on top of it all.

He didn’t bother trying to eat any of it yet, despite how much his stomach was protesting for some food. Instead he put the plate back down before looking back up at the liches.

“Alright, I’ll bite. You all want fun, what’s so fun about keeping me alive here? Like you said, I’m not exactly in the mood to be entertaining right now,” he asked. He doubted they would give him much actual useful information, but it didn’t hurt to ask.

“Despite the name dear, Wonderland isn’t all just fun and games. Now, we’re still going to have fun of course, but we’re afraid your presence here is mainly business,” Lydia said, which Taako supposed was something. He’d like a little more than that, but still any answers were answers.

“Care to share what kind of business? Ya know if you needed to find a better cook there are easier ways,” he said, grimacing down at the plate of food. It didn’t look terrible, but it certainly didn’t look great either.

“Oh, you’ll find out, don’t worry,” Edward said.

“Or you won’t,” Lydia added, and Edward gave an exaggerated grimace as he nodded along at that.

“Right, or you won’t. Kinda- kinda fifty/fifty on that one,” he said, and Taako let himself lean into his confusion some at that. He needed to be careful, they were paying attention to him right now and so he needed to just stay focused. Figure out as much as possible, and he could put the pieces together later, once he had a moment to think.

“Can’t say I’m thrilled by those odds. Come on, you gotta give me something,” he tried, not actually expecting anything to come of this. The liches turned to look at each other, and Taako couldn’t tell what they were thinking but he could recognize a silent conversation when he saw one. When they turned back towards him Taako got a sinking feeling in his stomach at their smiles.

“Well, we already gave you breakfast,” Edward started.

“But if you want  _ more,” _ Lydia continued, and with a snap of her fingers they were both gone. Taako only saw the figure that replaced them for a second, immediately closing his eyes and turning away. It was a trick, he knew it was fake but even knowing that it still hurt when he heard Kravitz’s voice.

“I’ll always be here for you, Taako,” the fake said, and even though he refused to look at it he could hear it coming closer. That shouldn’t be possible over the sound of the music blaring around them, but somehow its footsteps were loud and clear. He had no doubt that the liches had made sure that would be the case, so that it would be just that much harder to ignore.

“Fuck off. You’re not him,” he said, trying his damnedest to sound angry instead of upset. He wasn’t sure how well it worked out, hating the way he flinched when this false Kravitz spoke again. So close now that he was sure he must’ve been crouched right in front of him.

“Does that matter?” the fake asked, his voice gentle. The only thing keeping Taako from turning and snarling at the question was his refusal to look at this thing pretending to be Kravitz again.

“Of course it matters! Who would want anything to do with some cheap copy?” he huffed, because maybe the real Kravitz didn’t feel the same way about Taako as he felt about him. Maybe the curse was broken and he’d returned to the castle and even if Taako managed to get out of this place he still wouldn’t ever see him again. 

They had still been friends though. He refused to believe that the real Kravitz hadn’t cared about him at all by the end. He needed to remember that.

“Cheap?” the fake asked, sounding slightly offended. “Oh Taako, darling, you misunderstand. I can be so much  _ more _ than he was,” he said. When Taako felt one of its hands cup his face he didn’t think before he acted, grabbing the only thing in the room that  _ could _ be grabbed, the plate of food the liches had left in front of him. He didn’t look as he swung it where he imagined the fake Kravitz’s head to be.

He only opened his eyes when he heard a crash, feeling the plate break in his hand and food fly everywhere.

That fake Kravitz was still kneeling in front of him, and he didn’t look angry despite the gash that ran across his cheek and down to his chin now. It was an illusion, it was all just an illusion but Taako couldn’t tear his eyes away from the blood running down his face, his stomach twisting when this fake smiled at him softly.

“What did I say love? It’s not hard, you can let yourself be happy here,” he said, and it was almost tempting.

Almost.

“I said  _ fuck off,” _ he growled, getting a disappointed sigh from the fake.

“Darling, we both know that’s not what you actually want,” he insisted, and that only made it easier to separate this copy from Kravitz.

“You don’t get to tell me what I want or not asshole,” he snapped. Again he looked disappointed, but not mad. It was getting real fucking annoying that he refused to get angry, continuing to look at him with a mask of devotion that he knew wasn’t real.

“I only want you to be happy, this would all be so much simpler if you just let yourself  _ enjoy _ this,” he said. Taako tried to back up when the fake reached out to cup his face in his hands again, but he was already sitting right up against the wall.

“Get off of me,” he hissed, trying not to show how scared he was. The liches seemed to want to keep him alive, but there was a lot you could do to a person while still keeping them alive.

“Taako, I love you,” the fake said, sounding like he was pleading.

“Stop  _ saying _ that!” Taako shouted. He didn’t know what the  _ point _ of this was. He’d squeezed his eyes shut again, not wanting to look at this fucker anymore. He didn’t want to see the way he was looking at him or the large cut down the side of his face another reminder that this wasn’t the real Kravitz. 

“I love you, I’ve always loved you. There’s no reason for you to hurt anymore, we can be happy here. Please Taako I-”

_ “Stop!” _ he shouted, tearing his face out of the fake Kravitz’s hold and shoving at his chest to try and push him away. It worked surprisingly well, and Taako opened his eyes again when he felt a crackle of energy followed by a burst of heat. He had just enough time to see the large blast of fire that shoved the false Kravitz back several feet, leaving him a scorched heap in the center of the room. 

Taako immediately climbed to his feet, not moving any closer and watching the still figure. He was breathing heavily, a pretty stark contrast to the way the charred body lying in front of him wasn’t breathing at all.

“Kravitz?” he asked, his voice tentative and worried. He immediately hated the fact that he let the name slip like that. This  _ wasn’t _ Kravitz.

He also wasn’t responding.

“What the  _ fuck _ is going on?” he asked, looking back down at his hands. He shouldn’t have been able to cast a spell that powerful, not without a focus or components. None of this made any  _ sense. _

He jumped when the fake Kravitz lifted its head up suddenly. Instead of the fake loving expression from before he was smirking again, an arrogant expression that Taako could easily see the liches in now.

“Well now, this is  _ certainly _ an interesting development,” it said, and it barely sounded like Kravitz at all anymore, obviously just a mouthpiece for the liches at this point. “Thank you so much for the little display, this should certainly speed things up!” he finished. Before Taako could ask what the fuck he was talking about the body started to disappear.

“Wait wait wait! Don’t- shit!” he snapped, trying to run over and grab him. It was gone by the time he reached the center of the room, just a few charred panels left instead. When he looked back over to where he’d been sitting, the broken plate was also gone, but the food that had been on it remained scattered on the floor. Taako left that alone for now, going to curl up in another corner. He was still hungry, but he couldn’t give a crap about that.

He still had magic somehow. He didn’t know how the fuck to harness it, it had been in a panic. Still, it was there, which meant he could figure it out. They wouldn’t have a lot of time from the sound of it, but this was something. They could work with this.

_ “Hey Lup? Got an update for you.” _

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Lup is here! Oh boy I have been waiting so long to finally get to Lup in this fic, she's had a bit of a rough time of it. Also my outline has called for 29 chapters for a while (and i'm _so close_ to having them all written out!) so I finally changed the chapter count on here. 
> 
> as always, thanks for reading and I hope you enjoyed!


	23. Decisive Truths

When Kravitz reached the palace garden it was quiet.

Walking around, it was similar to how he remembered it. Not exact, some of the flowers and vines having changed with the seasons, but all familiar enough that it should have been comforting. At one time this had been his favorite spot in the castle, other than the balcony where he could hear the bards playing in the square. It should have put him at ease, at least on some level, to be back like this.

But Kravitz couldn’t relax. He couldn’t let his mind slip into the comfortable autopilot he used to. Instead he found himself pacing, trying to tell himself that there was nothing more he could do. The Queen was right, they had to be smart about this. He needed to listen and wait until they came up with a plan.

He spent the night in the garden. When the realization hit him that it was the first night since Taako had cast the spell that he’d actually spent away from the elf Kravitz had to go seat himself under one of the large trees. It was just another thing that showed how much he’d changed since leaving. The constructs had no need to sit, it was useless and didn’t provide any sort of relief.

But for some reason sitting helped. At the very least it got him to stop pacing, he was worried he was going to wander off the wrong way and destroy some flower beds if he kept up like he was.

Every hour that passed made Kravitz feel like he was going more and more insane with worry. He would have been concerned that perhaps the spell hadn’t broken after all, and this was all the side effects from being removed from the target for a prolonged period of time. He  _ would have _ been worried about that, if his own feelings didn’t match up perfectly with all the ones he’d read about in his romance novels. The absolute terror and helplessness that one of the leads would feel when the other was in danger. The desire to do anything to save them. The fear that he wouldn’t be able to.

That Taako might die before he could ever tell him how he felt.

Kravitz couldn’t rightfully distract himself, but after some time he pulled out the violin and started to play it. He needed something else to do with his hands, something to take up even a little bit of his mind.

He wasn’t sure how long he played for, but the sun had long since risen when the Queen made her way into the garden. There was a small stone bench by the tree Kravitz was sitting under, and she came over and sat down in it without a word. Kravitz didn’t say anything either, simply finishing up the song before putting the violin away and looking up at her.

“Good morning my Queen,” he said, bowing his head respectfully.

“Good morning Kravitz,” she replied, and he could see her looking him over. “That was beautiful, I can see you picked up quite a few skills in your time away from us,” she added. He’d never intended to play in front of her before now, but now that he had he was thankful for the praise.

“Thank you,” he said, and there was a time where Kravitz wasn’t sure he could have imagined a more peaceful morning. Now though, now it was anything but peaceful. “My Queen, about Wonderland-” he started. Before he could get anything out though the Queen put up a hand and he stopped.

“We will get to that, but first my dear Kravitz, tell me what happened,” she said. He knew this was coming, she had said they would discuss it later, and there honestly shouldn’t be anything he would want to hide from his Queen.

Even still, there was a long moment where he was silent, before finally taking a deep imitation of a breath, and starting to explain.

“The night I disappeared a wizard was being mugged in an alley right outside of the perimeter of the castle. I had not noticed the attack while patrolling, and in his desperation the wizard cast a spell on me. It was similar to planar binding, and I found myself compelled to protect the caster from harm. Unfortunately afterwards the wizard had been unable to remove the spell, and something must have gone wrong in the casting, as it did not dispel after the usual month duration,” he said. The Queen was listening intently, although it was impossible to tell what she was thinking.

“Why did you not return to seek help with removing this spell?” she asked, which Kravitz had expected.

“The wizard was concerned about the legal ramifications of tampering with one of the Queen’s constructs. Since I was bound to protect him I could not force him to go somewhere against his will. Instead I struck a deal to assist him in finding a way to remove the spell himself,” he said. He could see her thinking that over, and he could only imagine all the questions she still had.

“Is this spell still in effect?” she asked, and that one almost surprised Kravitz. He figured that the implication was that since he was back the spell was gone, but he supposed it did not hurt to double check.

“No. I do not believe so,” he said, and she nodded at that.

“And this wizard, is he the person currently trapped inside of Wonderland that has you so concerned?” she asked next. It was hard for Kravitz not to bring his knees up to his chest at that question, for some reason feeling small under her scrutiny. This wasn’t how he usually felt with her, not at all.

But he had changed, and he had no idea if she would be willing to accept these changes.

“Yes. He is,” he said, and she hummed at that.

“Tell me more about your journey. How did you come to pick up the violin?” she asked. Kravitz picked up the instrument again, not actually going to play it. Instead just studying it. It wasn’t the highest quality, he knew Taako couldn’t afford that. In a place with so much opulence it felt a little silly that something so simple would be so prized to him.

“The wizard, he uh, he basically insisted that I get a hobby. He bought it for me,” he said, his voice softer than he might have intended. Warmer, for lack of a better word. If the Queen noticed she didn’t comment on it, instead her eyes turning towards the bag Kravitz still had slung over his shoulder.

“What else did you gather?” she asked, and it was taking him a moment to place the emotion but he was pretty sure he was feeling a bit embarrassed.

“Oh, not- not much. Most of this is supplies, and um, some books,” he said, and there was the slightest bit of interest on the Queen’s face at that.

“May I see some?” she asked. Instead of answering, Kravitz pulled a few of the small novels out of his pack, handing them over to her without a word and not directly meeting her gaze. When he did chance glancing over at her after a moment there was a definite smile on her face.

“My Queen,” he said, pulling her attention away from inspecting the books and back to him. “I do not know if you had witnessed yesterday, but I have found myself capable of casting magic recently.” The Queen placed the books in her lap, a more serious expression on her face as she nodded.

“I did see,” she said, which okay. At least this might not be as dramatic a reveal as he had worried in that case.

“The necromancer you arrested yesterday, he believed this is due to me developing a soul,” he said. He could see a slight frown on her face at the mention of Barry, but when she didn’t say anything right away he continued. “My Queen, you created me. I need to know if this is correct or if this, if  _ all of this _ is nothing more than… than the side effects of a corrupted spell.”

The Queen was quiet for a long moment, turning to look up at the sky instead of directly at him. Kravitz hadn’t realized just how terrified he was of this answer. He wasn’t sure which answer he was more afraid of if he was being honest.

“I will admit, I did not think it was possible,” she said softly, and Kravitz had no idea how to place the emotion in her voice. When she turned back towards him Kravitz froze at her expression. It was more open than he could ever remember seeing, unshed tears gleaming in her eyes. “I am so sorry my Kravitz, it was never supposed to stick,” she apologized, her voice raw.

“What do you mean?” he asked. This wasn’t how he imagined this going. He never thought that the Queen would be the one apologizing to  _ him _ . He'd prepared to apologize for everything that he had done and allowed to happen during his time away. He did not think he would have done anything different, but that didn’t mean he still didn’t regret having to go against her rules.

He had not been prepared for this though.

“I had a son once. He was taken young, some would say too young but who are we to judge when death decides to retrieve a soul,” she started, and she wasn’t looking at him as she spoke, instead staring at the ground and trailing her hands over the books still in her lap. “Even still, as a mother I was distraught at this loss,” she continued, and Kravitz nodded at that.

“Of course,” he said, and although he doubted he could fully understand that sort of relationship, he knew how worried he was about Taako right now. He could barely imagine the pain if he was not able to save him. If he was truly gone.

If losing a child was worse, Kravitz was not sure how the living did not find themselves dying of heartbreak more often.

“The creation of a construct is both complicated and surprisingly simple. In order to move beyond that of a simple animated armor, to think quickly and reason for yourself there needs to be a connection to a soul. For most of my constructs they are connected to me, and because I am here those small fragments of souls will not ever grow into anything more. They are simply a power source that if they are ever destroyed will return to me,” she continued, and Kravitz already had an idea of where this was going.

“When you say most of your constructs, I assume that… doesn’t include me, does it?” he asked, and the Queen shook her head.

“My son was dying, and there was nothing that could be done. Still, I had no intention to bind him to this world unnaturally, I did not wish to put him through the pain of undeath. I could not bring myself to let go of him entirely however, so I created a construct powered by the tiniest fragment of his soul. I created you,” she said.

Kravitz wanted to say something, but all he could do was sit in stunned silence.

“He passed a few days later. I had thought that you would cease functioning shortly after, but it never happened. After some time I had assumed that I had simply done the spell incorrectly. That some part of my soul must have transferred as well and was continuing to power you,” she continued. When she looked back at him again, Kravitz could finally place the emotions on her face, the grief and guilt in her eyes.

“But I suppose that I was wrong. I am so sorry my dear Kravitz, I never intended to bind you to an existence that was not your own,” she finished. Kravitz couldn’t say anything for a long, long while, staring down at the violin still resting in his lap as he slowly tried to process everything. When he finally managed to find his voice it sounded just as conflicted as he felt about all of this.

“So I’m a person?” he asked, and it didn’t seem possible. All the times he had told Taako, insisted over and over again, that he wasn’t one played in his head.

And all the times Taako had refused to listen to him, every time he insisted on trying to foster every little bit of individuality he could find and insist that alive or not he was a person played as well. How somehow Taako had managed to see it in him before anyone else would have even considered it a possibility.

“If you found yourself asking that question at all then the answer was already a yes,” the Queen said, and if Kravitz wasn’t already reeling he might have laughed at that. It was such a succinct shutdown of every excuse he’d given about why he was not a person that he was amazed it had not happened sooner.

“I am so,  _ so sorry _ my son,” the Queen said, her voice shakier than Kravitz could ever remember hearing. Kravitz was still having a hard time processing this, still struggling to believe that it was even real, but there was one thing he was fairly sure would not change as he thought more about this and hopefully came to terms with it.

“There is no need for an apology. I have been content with this existence,” he said, reaching over and putting a hand on her knee in some small attempt at comfort. Even as he said it though, content didn’t seem to properly cover it, not anymore. “I am thankful for it,” he added, and the Queen nodded slowly at that, like she was hesitant to believe it.

“Do you remember… anything?” she asked, and Kravitz hadn’t even considered that yet. Thinking a moment, he shook his head. The Queen looked disappointed but not surprised at that answer. “You were young, even if any memories had transferred over with the fragment of soul that you started with, it would be likely that they simply faded with time by now,” she said. Kravitz wasn’t sure if that was a comfort or not.

“I need some time to think,” he said, and she nodded quickly. Handing the books back over to him she stood up.

“Of course,” she said, and as much as Kravitz wanted to spend a few days coming to terms with all- with all  _ that, _ he couldn’t right now.

“Wait!” he said when she started to leave. She stopped, turning back towards him quickly.

“Yes Kravitz?” she asked, and a part of him wanted to ask about that name. If it had always been his, or if there was something else before. He needed to focus on what was the most important right now though, he could have time for those sorts of questions later. Once he saved Taako.

“I don’t know how long I can wait. I understand that we can’t ask people to risk their lives going into something like this with no idea what may be inside, but I can’t… I can’t leave him in there,” he said. The Queen sighed, her shoulders slumping the slightest bit.

“This wizard, you’ve come to care about him deeply, haven’t you?” she asked, and Kravitz hesitated slightly before nodding. There was no point in hiding it anymore. 

“I love him,” he said, and it was strange how easy it was to say now. It had been so difficult to admit before but after all of this it was almost nice to have something solid and familiar like that to fall back on.

“I need you to be patient Kravitz, I do not… I can not lose you again,” she said.

Reluctantly Kravitz nodded, not able to bring himself to do anything else. With that she smiled at him before turning and leaving the garden. A part of him wanted to ask her to stay, to either answer more questions he had or to try and convince her to allow him to go to Wonderland, but it might be better for him to have some time alone. Just to think.

It was hard to imagine, but considering everything it all made sense. It clicked in a way that put together pieces he hadn’t even realized were there. No matter how hard he tried he could not bring forth any sorts of memories from a life before being a construct. He supposed that it was possible that none transferred over with whatever sliver of soul that she used to create him.

The Queen seemed to think of him as her son, as that same person that had died all those years ago. He wondered how accurate that actually was, if he actually resembled him in any way, or what he would have become. He supposed there was no real way of knowing.

Kravitz spent at least a few more hours in the garden, and he appreciated that it was so quiet. Every so often he would see another guard walk by, but they didn’t seem to notice him. Or if they did they didn’t clock him as a threat and therefore didn’t care. He could remember walking those same halls, not thinking about much of anything but whatever his assigned duty had been at the time. It felt impossible to do such a thing now.

Eventually he couldn’t just sit in the garden anymore. His mind was going in circles and he wasn’t getting anything productive done. Now was not the time for an existential crisis.

Walking through the palace Kravitz wasn’t sure where he was actually heading, wandering until he ended up arriving at one of the general strategy rooms. Heading in there was some small relief to see people inside, actually working on how to tackle Wonderland. When he walked in no one paid him any mind, which made sense. The construct guards tended to come and go as was needed, without much need for interaction.

Kravitz had no intention of returning to a simple guard position at this point though, not when it came to Wonderland. So instead of taking up a usual position at the door or around the perimeter of the room he walked straight up to the general, who only then seemed to startle at his presence.

“General, how goes the preparations for taking out Wonderland?” he asked. The man stared at him for a moment, having to take a minute to get over his surprise before answering.

“They are coming along smoothly thus far. We have already sent out a small team of scouts to the area to do some reconnaissance. Once they return we will have a better understanding of what we are working with and will be able to craft a more refined plan on how to take on the necromantic base,” he said, which was fair. It was sound, but Kravitz couldn’t help but feel twitchy at the idea of waiting so long.

“Do we have an estimate on a timeline yet?” he asked, and the general seemed to think it over for a moment, looking over some papers and maps as he did.

“The quickest I would advise pushing an attack like this would be a week, but even that would be veering on too reckless. I believe that two weeks would be our best bet for the highest chance of success,” he said, and it was a good thing Kravitz could not actually emote anymore. He did not want anyone to see the facial expression he would have made at that, instead forcing himself to stand still before nodding. 

“And have you spoken to the necromancer yet?” he asked, trying very hard not to show any sort of emotions as he brought up Barry. The general frowned slightly at the mention of the necromancer, but he still nodded.

“He seems willing to cooperate with us, but any information he gives must be rigorously checked to ensure that he is not attempting to lead us into a trap,” he said. It was harder than Kravitz expected not to argue with that, but of course that’s what everyone here would suspect. It’s what Kravitz himself had suspected for a long time when they started working with Barry.

“Understood,” he said, forcing himself to leave the strategy room then before he got too wrapped up in anything else. There wasn’t anything he could do here, and he doubted anyone would trust a strange, too personable construct to allow him to do much anyway.

Kravitz had told the Queen that he would try to be patient.

But by the time night had fallen again he knew that he would not be able to keep this promise.

For once Kravitz was again thankful that he did not have to sleep. As he roamed about the castle, telling himself at first that he was only trying to clear his head, he found it easy as anything to slip back into his old route. To walk along like any other construct, until no one else seemed to look twice at him. It was even easier at night, the castle going dark and empty other than the occasional guard or construct.

By the time Kravitz had started down to the stockade he had already made up his mind. He’d written a note, but he did not risk placing it anywhere yet. The last thing he wanted was for someone to find it and realize what he was doing before he managed to leave, so instead he had it in his pack for now.

Walking down the steep steps to the stockade, he’d timed it perfectly for the shift change. The construct who was already down there did not seem to notice anything strange when he came down, barely acknowledging him with a nod before heading back up the stairs for whatever its next shift was. Kravitz only waited until he was sure it was up and the door closed firmly behind it before starting to walk through the stockade instead of keeping watch at the door. He managed to keep himself from running or anything like that, trying to give off as much of an impression as he could that there was nothing amiss. He was just a construct surveying the prison.

Thankfully there were few people down here, and the majority seemed to mostly be asleep. So it did not take him too long before he found the cell he was looking for.

“Barry?” he asked, keeping his voice quiet. It was hard to tell if the human was awake or not, slumped up against the wall on the cot in the corner, his head bowed and eyes closed. He must’ve been awake though, because as soon as Kravitz said his name his head shot up, looking over at Kravitz with a relieved expression.

“Kravitz? Thank damn bud, what took you so long? I was starting to think you were really leaving me down here,” he said, jumping off the bed and rushing over to the bars. Kravitz paused at that, not sure which thing to try and process first.

“How could you tell it was me?” he decided to start with. The actual look of the constructs were all functionally identical after all. Even as scratched up and changed as he was, it was dark enough in here that he was surprised he knew so easily without darkvision. Barry looked confused by the question, raising an eyebrow.

“You called me by my name. Not even the  _ living _ guards do that here, it’s all just ‘necromancer’ and junk,” he said, actually making finger quotes as he spoke. Which honestly that was fair. “Anyway, what’s the status? They won’t tell me anything, and the people who  _ have _ tried to talk to me about Wonderland barely even want to listen to what I say, and they  _ definitely _ don’t believe me,” Barry pressed. Kravitz sighed, taking a moment to get his words in order.

“The current status is that the Queen has sent scouts to the felicity wilds in order to learn more about the location we pinpointed as the source of Wonderland. The general estimates that between scouting missions, preparations and recruitment we may be able to mount a successful assault in one to two weeks time,” he explained, and he could understand the way Barry’s face fell at that.

“Two weeks? We can’t- Kravitz,  _ I can’t _ wait that long!” Barry said, and Kravitz nodded, producing a ring of keys.

“I know. That is why we are leaving tonight,” he said, moving to start unlocking the cell. As he did he could see Barry staring at him in wonder.

“Wait, are you serious Krav?” he asked, and by now Kravitz had undone the lock and looked around to make sure no one else was around or paying attention as he opened the door.

“Of course I am. Now we have to be quick, the castle is less guarded at night but we will both face consequences if we’re found,” he explained. Barry nodded, following him out of his cell. Kravitz made sure to lock it back up as if it hadn’t been touched. They’d realize in the morning when they saw that Barry was gone, but hopefully they’d be at Wonderland by then.

“Yeah no, I’m just… surprised. I was afraid that with you being back here that, I don’t know, you’d start to forget or something? I was afraid you weren’t coming back,” he said, and Kravitz could understand why. If he was a proper construct he was sure that he would not think twice before returning to his duty and leaving the workings of this siege to the Queen's judgement.

But he wasn’t a proper construct.

“Some things that were… previously unknown to me have been recently illuminated. I am still processing it all but no matter what ties bind me here I cannot stand by and do nothing. Now let’s go,” he said, a grin spreading over Barry’s face as he nodded.

Leading the man through the castle wasn’t difficult, solely due to the fact that Kravitz was well versed in the routes the guards took over night. If he hadn’t been he was sure that navigating the long corridors without getting caught would have been close to impossible. There were a few times where Barry had to hide down another hall as a guard or construct passed before they could move on again, but little by little they managed to work their way out.

When they got to the door Kravitz stopped, pulling the letter he’d written back out of his pack. Barry looked back at him in confusion, clearly anxious to keep going.

“What are you doing?” he asked in a whispered hiss. There wasn’t any proper place to leave a note, so all he could do was place it gingerly in the entryway. On the front of the letter in his clumsy handwriting it read

_ To: The Queen of Ravens, Ruler of Astral and the Surrounding Kingdoms _

_ From: Kravitz _

“Nothing, let’s go,” he said, turning back towards Barry. He could see the human’s eyes flick towards the letter left on the floor, an incredulous look on his face.

“You’re leaving a  _ note?” _ he asked, still whispering. Kravitz didn’t bother responding, grabbing his arm and opening the door. As they slunk along the wall to a point where he knew that the watch guards wouldn’t be able to see, the silence got too much and he spoke quietly.

“I cannot leave my Queen again without an explanation. She will be able to guess what happened in the morning anyway,” he said. Barry didn’t seem inclined to argue, and as they slowly crept away from the castle and into the surrounding streets Kravitz was sure he had made the right decision on this. Even still, he kept going over the letter he’d left in his head again and again, hoping it would be enough. Wishing that he could have left more.

He would just have to make sure to return, so that this letter wasn’t the end of it. 

_ My Queen, _

_ I am sure that you are well aware of the current situation by the time that you receive this letter. If by some chance this reaches you first though, I have taken the necromancer Barry Bluejeans from his cell in the stockade and left to rescue those trapped in Wonderland. I apologize for going directly against your orders, even more so after ensuring you that I would try to be patient. _

_ I can imagine you are not pleased with this decision, and I wish that I did not have to make it. I understand if I will not be welcomed back upon my return and I will submit to whatever judgment you see fit. I do hope that you will understand the reasonings behind my decisions however, whether or not you agree with it. _

_ I have not had a fully formed soul for long. Who’s to say if it is even fully formed yet? Perhaps it’s foolish of me to rush into something so dangerous, especially for something as ephemeral and inexplicable as love, but it would appear that I am something of a hopeless romantic. Reading so many romance novels while my soul was developing probably wasn’t the best idea. _

_ Mother, I hope to be able to return to you again soon. I hope to one day be able to introduce you to Taako. From all that I’ve seen he is apparently an excellent chef.  _

_ More than anything, right now, I just hope that you trust me. _

_ Your son, _

_ Kravitz _

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> so there are several of y'all who fucking called in a _while_ ago and I hope the reveal had a good pay off! Also! I can't believe i forgot to post the link to these earlier but y'all should check out the absolutely delightful pieces of art made for this fic [here](https://herbgerblin.tumblr.com/post/631781857687633920) and [here.](https://moondustglittr.tumblr.com/post/633034800718036992/id-a-headshot-of-taako-against-solid-grey) They are both excellent. 
> 
> as always, thanks for reading and I hope you enjoyed!


	24. Backfire

_ “Lup, you hear me?” _ Taako asked when Lup took longer than well, immediately to respond. He couldn’t quite remember why she was important, but he knew it would be bad if he forgot her completely. They needed each other to help escape, that much was certain. Why he felt like he could trust her seemed to have slipped his mind again, but he just had to trust his gut and hope it came back eventually.

_ “Yeah, I just… what’s your name again?” _ she asked, and the only reason Taako didn’t wince was because he didn’t want the liches to notice anything strange if they were still watching on some level. Plus, it wasn’t like he was a paragon of memories either.

_ “Taako? We’re uh, working together to escape this hellhole?”  _ he tried, hoping she would at least remember that much. At the very least she didn’t sound as suspicious and upset as she had the first time they talked, so he guessed that was something.

_ “Right no, that’s what I though. Just uh, wanted to make sure,” _ she said, which was a relief.  _ “Sorry, it’s hard to remember things here. I’ve been trying to hold on as much as I can but I think it’s been… slipping more lately,”  _ she explained, and Taako was pretty sure she sounded scared. He couldn’t blame her, it was pretty terrifying.

_ “It’s chill, my memory’s never been the best either, even before I came to this dump. Probably all the more reason I should get out as soon as possible,” _ he replied, because if Lup was right about this place making memories even worse than they definitely didn’t have a lot of time.  _ “Which speaking of, I kinda have an update on that,” _ he said, and he could feel Lup’s interest through the telepathic link.

_ “Oh yeah? Now I’ve been here a long time, so it’s gonna have to be something pretty wild for me to have not already tried it,” _ she said, which was fair. If she was right about the memory thing, there was probably shit that she’d tried that she couldn’t even remember doing anymore. Still, this seemed like a pretty important thing to bring to the table here.

_ “Fair enough, but get this. I just like, did magic?”  _ he said, and a part of him was still trying to figure out what happened. That same part was steadfast ignoring the charred figure still burned into the ground where the fake Kravitz used to be, because it wasn’t important anyway.

_ “What, you mean like, the message spell we’ve got going on?”  _ Lup asked, which was a fair question. Honestly, Taako was trying not to think too hard about the spell he was casting right now. If he thought about it too much he would notice how so many of the messages they sent were over the usual 15 word limit, and you weren’t able to  _ feel _ another person’s emotion over message. It wasn’t this open dialog they had back and forth where he didn’t have to recast the spell every time he wanted to say something.

And once he started thinking about all of that, he started wondering how he was able to do all this magic that was so beyond what his skill should be. And when he thought about that it started to get hard to think, his brain going to static.

_ “Nah, magic more along the lines of a giant blast of fire shooting out of my hands to explode an asshole’s face,” _ he said, and that definitely seemed to take Lup off guard.

_ “What? Are you serious?” _ she asked, and Taako couldn’t blame her for sounding incredulous. He shouldn’t have been able to cast anything above a cantrip like this, it didn’t make any sense.

_ “As anything. I don’t fucking know how I did it, but those liches were… pissing me off, and then it just sorta burst out,”  _ he said, and it wasn’t much of an explanation but it was all he got.

_ “Well can you do it again? Actually blast one of these walls down so we can get out of here?”  _ she asked, which was fair. It was definitely what Taako wanted to do, so it was annoying as fuck when he couldn’t just say ‘hell yeah let’s do this thing’ and start blasting shit left and right.

_ “I already said, no idea how to actually do it. I… sometimes when I’m real freaked out or pissed or something I can cast magic way above what I can normally do. I don’t know how but it’s not exactly predictable, and I don’t know how to trigger it on purpose,” _ he explained, and it truly was frustrating. One would think that in all his searching and reading and studying to get rid of Kravitz’s curse he would have found something to explain his own damn magic, but there was nothing.

_ “What do we do then? Because I’ve been trying for… for… I don’t know how long for, but a long fucking time, and I’ve never been able to cast anything in here. I don’t even know how you’re doing this message thing right now! It’s like all my magic is just… sealed off. I feel  _ cold _ inside,” _ Lup said, and Taako paused at that, putting a hand up to his chest. He tried to feel if he could sense what Lup was talking about, something cutting him off from his magic.

But the more he focused, the more certain he was that he didn’t feel something like that at all. It was almost the opposite.

_ “That’s weird. I feel warm,” _ he said finally. Lup was quiet for a moment at that, and Taako wasn’t sure what she was thinking.

_ “You said you did it because the liches were pissing you off. How’d they react?” _ she asked, sort of dropping the subject. It would probably be something to press later, but he could let it go for now.

_ “Yeah uh, not great. They weren’t like pissed or anything, actually the opposite. Said it was ‘interesting’ and that it would ‘certainly speed things up’ which if you ask me doesn’t sound good at all,” _ he said, and he could feel the dread in Lup at hearing that before she actually responded.

_ “Yeah no. That’s- that’s definitely bad,”  _ she said.

_ “So what’s the plan then?”  _ he asked, because he genuinely wasn’t sure. He didn’t want to wait around while those liches made whatever weird plans they were going for. Lup was quiet for a moment, and Taako couldn’t blame her for having to take a few seconds to try and think of something.

_ “We need to figure out what they’re after,” _ she said finally, and that was certainly something Taako could agree with.  _ “If we can figure out what they want then we might be able to find some way to stop it,” _ she added.

_ “Well, we know it has something to do with the fact that I can still do magic. Not sure what else that tells us though,” _ he said, and he wished he had more than that. None of this made any sense though, and no matter how hard he tried he couldn’t think of what it was he was missing here. He had to be missing something, he knew there was so much he couldn’t remember.

_ “Yeah, I still don’t know how you manag- shit,” _ Lup said, cutting herself off quickly. Immediately Taako could feel panic and hatred coming from her, but before he could ask what was wrong she continued.  _ “I’ve got some visitors, sorry. We’re gonna have to finish this later Taako,” _ she said.

_ “Shit, wait Lup! Don’t- are you sure you want me to end it? I could stick with you,” _ he offered, and he wasn’t even sure why. He definitely didn’t want to have to deal with these assholes anymore than he needed to, but for some reason the thought of leaving Lup alone with them was worse. He couldn’t remember why. He couldn’t remember so fucking much and it was driving him insane.

_ “It’s fine. We can’t risk them finding out about this, remember?” _ she said, and he knew she had a point. He was the one who had insisted on that point in the first place, but that didn’t mean he had to like it.

_ “Alright, just… be careful Lulu,” _ he thought, a part of him hating the idea of Lup on her own with these assholes. He knew that she’d survived all this time on her own, but he was here now. He should be able to help her more than this.

_ “Y-yeah. Yeah of course,” _ she said, and when Taako closed the channel it took him a moment to realize that the startled tone to her voice hadn’t been directed at the liches she was currently dealing with. It had been at him.

And it took him even longer to realize what had caused it.

The nickname. It had honestly just slipped out, he hadn’t been thinking about it, just worried and angry that there wasn’t more he could do to protect her. That he couldn’t be by her side at this, and how fucking unfair that felt. How certain he felt that that was where he should be and how much he hated these liches for keeping them separated.

But he didn’t know why, and he didn’t know where the nickname came from. He gave nicknames all the time though, there shouldn’t be anything special about that one.

When he tried to convince himself it was nothing though, that just didn’t feel right.

At this point he’d stood back up, starting to pace around the room now to have something to do. He was getting sore from laying around on the hard floor all the time, and if he didn’t move he was pretty sure he was going to go insane. He pointedly avoided the scorch marks or where the eggs were still splattered on the floor, but otherwise he wasn’t paying attention to where he walked.

The one good thing about this was that he knew the liches were occupied. That didn’t mean they wouldn’t  _ notice _ if he tried something, but it might mean that they wouldn’t notice as fast. That they might miss small things here and there.

They might not notice if he perhaps tried to use magic again, at least not right away.

Whatever they were after had to do with that magic, so maybe if he could learn how to control it better it would give them a fighting chance. Or it might just speed up the whole process, but honestly at this point Taako didn’t care. If it meant possibly getting out of here, he was willing to risk it.

So, taking a deep breath, Taako tried to focus on that pit of warmth inside of him. It felt weird that he’d never noticed it before, because now, with all other magic and life drained away it felt so steady and clear inside of him. Like a small flame in his chest, an energy he had never even realized was there.

And concentrating on that energy, he tried to see if he could shape it in some way.

It didn’t feel like his usual magic, it didn’t feel like his magic at all. It felt more like he was pulling magic from somewhere else, a slow leach that felt like trying to force water to run upstream.

He’d been so focused on gathering it that he didn’t know what to do with it once he had it, and Taako’s eyes widened when he felt it starting to spin out of control inside of him. He wasn’t quite able to shoot it away in time, arcane electricity zapping through his body and down into the floor, shorting out several of those damned blinking screens in the process.

Before he could process that he collapsed, feeling drained and like his head was about to explode. He tried to force his eyes open, but he didn’t last very long before he was unconscious.

Taako had never been able to remember his dreams before now. He wasn’t even sure if these would qualify as dreams, but they were something, and this time, he could process them.

A fire. Holding someone’s hand. Screaming, a pounding in his head unlike anything he'd ever left before.

Before that. Or maybe after? He didn’t know, it was impossible to know, but it was calm. Books spread out around them, studying something in secret. Shaping powerful magic between them as easily as breathing.

The most scared Taako had ever felt in his life. A heat in his chest like his soul was on fire before settling down into a pleasant warmth like a second heartbeat.

It was all so jumbled together, he couldn’t make sense of it when he woke up, but it was still there. It wasn’t just blank nothing and a feeling of terror like it had been so many times before.

Putting a hand to his chest, he could still feel that same warmth. That second heartbeat.

He also felt like shit, and it took a moment for him to process what had happened. Right, he kinda blew himself up with lightning. It was impossible to tell time in this place, so he might have been out for minutes, or it might have been a whole day. He couldn't bring himself to care which if he was honest. Immediately he let his head fall back down on the ground, pulling the fabric back down over his eyes to block out the light and try and get his monstrous headache to go away some.

He wasn’t able to sit there and rest for very long though. He guessed that should have been expected, this place seemed to want to do nothing but make him miserable after all. Even still, he was a little bit surprised when he suddenly felt the presence of someone else in the room with him. He didn’t need to open his eyes to know exactly who it was, but he did anyway. No point in giving them any more of an advantage than they already had.

“Well, well, well, glad to see you’re finally awake. It would seem that we just can’t leave you alone for a second, now can we?” Lydia said, frowning down at him. Taako shot her a glare, pushing himself up and trying to ignore the way his body protested from the recent magical mishap.

“Or you could fuck right off, that’s always an option,” he spat, although it didn’t seem to bother the liches any.

“And just have you keep hurting yourself like this? What kind of hosts would we be if we let that happen?” Lydia asked, and the concern there was clearly fake, but Taako could read the intent behind it clear enough. They didn’t want him actually hurt, or at the very least they didn’t want him dead.

“Lydia, is all of this really necessary? I think we can be pretty sure at this point,” Edward said, seeming to drop some of the annoying host pretense. It would have been nice if Taako wasn’t certain that them being serious would be a hell of a lot worse than them playing around. Lydia frowned, this time looking more uncertain than menacing as she turned towards the other lich.

“Edward please, we need to be sure about this,” she chastised, and Taako wanted to cut in and ask what the fuck they were talking about. He bit back that urge though, instead being quiet and hoping that if he didn’t say anything they might let something slip that they shouldn’t. Something like why they wanted him here.

“I’m just saying, almost three days and he’s already managed to cast spells and blow himself up. The other one’s been here for how long now? And she hasn’t done squat. You tell me which one is more powerful,” he said, and it was real hard to keep his face neutral at that. He hadn’t actually expected them to just start talking in front of him, but he wasn’t going to ruin it now.

“You make a fair point but we could stand to be a little more patient and  _ smart _ about this Edward. Can you imagine the disaster if we pick the wrong one?” Lydia asked.

“Wrong one for what?” Taako asked, unable to keep himself from butting in anymore. There was just too much going on and he needed some fucking answers. The two elves turned towards him, and while it didn’t seem like they’d forgotten he was there it did seem like they hadn’t quite considered what they were saying in front of him. After a quick moment though Lydia was right back to grinning.

“Now that’s not anything you need to worry about,” she said, and Taako only glared at her harder as she turned away from him and back towards Edward. “We wait,” she declared, earning a pout from her brother.

“How long?” he asked, and Taako could see Lydia glance back over at him before answering.

“A day,” she said, and Taako really didn’t like the sound of that. It was entirely possible that this whole thing was planned, more bullshit to try and scare him, but something told him it wasn’t. At least not entirely. There was too much uncertainty with the fact that he could actually do magic here.

“What are we gonna learn in a  _ day?” _ Edward asked, and Lydia huffed in frustration.

“Can we not have this argument here?” she asked, and Taako was still trying to be as unnoticeable as possible. The more he watched the more certain he was that this wasn’t some act. It certainly seemed like a real sibling argument if he ever knew one.

It also seemed like Edward was barely giving him the time of day anymore.

“I’m just saying, we do it now and we don’t have to worry about him accidentally blowing himself up again. You know that could also be a disaster if I’m right,” he said, and Taako wanted to pay attention. He was pretty sure he needed to pay attention, but his mind was focused elsewhere. Back on that second heartbeat.

_ “Hey Lup? I’m about to do something really stupid. Wish me luck,”  _ he sent, because this felt extremely dangerous and he wanted to give her some kind of warning, just in case it broke bad.

_ “What? Why? What are you talking about?” _ she asked, immediately sounding worried, which was more than fair. Before he could answer though he was already feeling that magic pooling back inside of him again, and he couldn’t tell if it was getting easier the more times he tried or if he was just getting more desperate. Either way, this time he at least had enough control to somewhat direct the blast as it came out of him.

If they didn’t want him blowing himself up, then that was the first damn thing he was going to do, and he was gonna catch them in it too for good measure.

It was fire this time, and a part of him had expected it to go right through the liches. So he was pleasantly surprised when they were actually knocked back by the force of the explosion.

Of course, he got knocked back on his ass as well, slamming into one of the walls and hissing at the pain. When he looked up there was a clear moment of shock for the two liches, who both looked slightly less corporeal than they had before. Slightly less alive, their faces flickering for a moment into dark skeletal forms before quickly returning.

“Oh, you’re going to  _ regret that _ dear,” Lydia said, picking herself up. Her face was solidly back to a regular, beautiful elf face, but it was twisted in rage.

_ “Taako, what did you do?” _ Lup’s voice was still asking in his head.

_ “Pissed off the liches with fire,” _ he answered, slowly pushing himself up along the wall. Wiping at the edge of his mouth, there was a little bit of blood that came back on his hand, which would explain why all he could taste in his mouth was iron.

_ “Why did you piss off the liches with fire?!” _ Lup asked quickly, which was a fair question.

“What did I tell you Lyd! We gotta do it now,” Edward insisted, and as bad as this sounded Taako told himself this was what he wanted.

_ “They just want one of us. I don’t fucking know why but it has something to do with my magic. If they’re focused on me maybe you can get out,” _ he explained, and he could immediately feel the panic from Lup’s end.

_ “Are you stupid? That’s a terrible plan! Taako!” _ she was shouting, and there was still doubt swirling around in his gut, confusion about why he was putting himself at such a risk for someone he couldn’t even remember, not really.

“Fine, I suppose we don’t need anymore proof than that,” Lydia said, dusting herself off a bit more before turning fully towards Taako. Outstretching her hand, he immediately felt himself being held in place by what felt like invisible ropes wrapping around him. “I’ve got him, Edward dear please go take care of our other friend. If we’re doing this we’re doing it,” she said, and immediately Taako felt his heart drop.

“Wait, wait,  _ wait! _ What do you mean ‘take care of’?” he asked, suddenly so much more terrified than he had been before. He hadn’t even thought it was possible, but for some reason the thought of him having gotten this wrong and that they might hurt Lup anyway was so much worse than if they were just going to hurt him.

“Well, as you have surely picked up we’ve only got need of one of you. There’s no point in keeping around a useless spare, now is there?” Lydia said, and it felt like those invisible ropes were dragging him along now. He’d been planning on going along with this when he thought it could be used as a distraction to get Lup out, but now he was fighting it as much as he could. The ropes weren’t real, so he wasn’t rubbing himself raw or at risk to start bleeding any worse than he already was, but that was almost worse, because all his struggling felt useless.

“You stay the fuck away from her! Let her go!” he shouted, not even caring about blowing his cover at this point.  _ “Lup! Get out of there now! They’re coming for you!” _ he screamed in his head, because he at least needed to give her a heads up.

“Now that is interesting. So you  _ do _ remember some things,” Lydia said, and Taako had been pulled so that he was right in front of her now. He could feel her trail claw like fingernails along his jawline, and if the fact that his blast had actually sent them flying back hadn’t been proof that they were actually in the room this time this probably was.

“If you leave her alone I’ll do whatever you want, alright?” he tried, and he could hear Lup shouting in his head now.

_ “What’s going on? I’m not leaving without you,”  _ she said, and it shouldn’t make any sense. They didn’t know each other, except that they did. Taako knew they did, and the details weren’t there but the emotions were coming back full force now.

_ “You have to! They only want me, okay? I fucked up! They’re going to kill you!” _ he shouted back, and he could feel the realization when it hit Lup.

_ “Oh. Fuck.” _

“I don’t think you understand how this works. You don’t get to make demands,” Lydia said. Those invisible ropes around him tightened again, so hard now that he could barely breathe as they lifted him up off the floor. Before he could react there was that feeling of the world falling down around him again as the lich teleported them somewhere else.

It took a long moment for his eyes to adjust, the bright flashing box they had just been in replaced with a large dimly lit room. The only sources of light some dim white lights shining down from a ceiling that felt so far away.

The only notable feature of the room was a giant black cylinder in the center, at least a story tall and just as wide. There wasn’t anything directly scary about the structure, but Taako felt a dread pooling in his stomach as he looked at it. The air here was filled with almost a palpable negative energy that it made his hair stand on end.

The lich floated him up and over to it, and maybe he could have tried screaming, or setting off another spell or something. It was obvious that he was fucking outmatched here though, and all he could do was call out in his mind.

_ “Lup, I’m sorry! Please just get out of here! Get out and go find Kravitz and Barry. They’re taking me to a giant black cylinder, lots of necrotic energy,” _ he explained, and there was no way to know if Lup would actually be able to escape or not. She was his only hope though, and he couldn’t bare the thought of her actually dying.

_ “Taako wait!”  _ Lup shouted, her panic clear. He didn’t let her finish though, certain that they didn’t have enough time.

_ “I’ll be fine. Just go, you can come back for me later,” _ he insisted, no idea if he could keep that promise. Lydia had walked up to the black form as well, and when she did a door that hadn’t been there before opened up. The inside was in stark contrast to the outside, a bright white room, near blinding when he looked at it.

_ “No! This isn’t- this isn’t how it’s supposed to go!” _ she argued, and he wasn’t sure what she meant by that. He wasn’t even sure if she knew what she meant by that, but he did have a feeling she was right. It wasn’t supposed to go this way, but there was nothing they could do about it now.

_ “Catch ya later Lulu. I love you,”  _ he said, and he was sure she could feel his terror. Even if there wasn’t some magic link there, she would be able to tell anyway. Of course she could tell, she was his sister.

_ “Taa-” _ he heard her start to shout, but before she could finish he was thrown into that bright white room, the door disappearing behind him. As soon as he was in he could feel that connection abruptly close off. The invisible bonds disappeared as well, and he crashed to the floor. Pulling himself up to his feet, he tried to cast out another message to Lup.

To his sister. His  _ twin _ sister. It was coming back now. He wasn’t sure why, and it was slow, but he could feel it.

That second heartbeat was beating faster and faster, and he could feel the message fail, so he tried again and again. Each time it failed and he could feel the power draining him. He couldn’t bring himself to care about that now though. All he cared about was getting out of here, of making sure Lup was safe.

He needed to get out of here.

He couldn’t have the last time he saw Kravitz being that faked, burned alive by his own hands. He needed to see him one more time.

And maybe it wouldn’t ever be returned, but he needed to tell him he loved him too.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> so it's been a really busy month this week, but luckily i've got a backlog of this fic up to nearly the final chapter so updates can keep on running as schedule. It's also nanowrimo time again, so hopefully I'll be getting back into some of my other fics too ~~altho i might be trying to focus on some more original work this year, we'll see how that goes.~~ We're about to get into some big Answers tho, i'm excited
> 
> as always thanks for reading and i hope you enjoyed!


	25. Desires and Indecision

The rush back to the Felicity Wilds took most of the night, the sun just beginning to rise by the time they reached the edge of the forest. Soon people would start to realize what had happened back at the palace, if they hadn’t already. Kravitz didn’t know if the queen would try to retrieve them before they made it to Wonderland, but they couldn’t take that risk. They needed to hurry.

“It should be this way,” Barry said, and there was some frustration in having to keep pace with the human man, but he wasn’t going to leave him behind either. So he followed along, trying to keep as much of an eye out as possible for anything that might be a trap or a sign towards what had taken Taako. From the force that seemed to be walking Taako around in circles, he expected something to try to keep them away from Wonderland.

Except there wasn’t anything like that. Instead they were able to walk straight through the woods without much issue at all, the darkness of the underbrush slowly illuminating around them as the sun pulled itself up over the horizon.

“So,” Barry said as they walked, and on some level Kravitz expected this. It seemed like there was only so much walking in silence that the living could do before they eventually tried to strike up a conversation. He even found himself falling prey to the temptation at times now. “You doing okay bud?” he asked, and Kravitz sighed.

“No. I will be doing okay once we release our companions from the necromantic death trap,” he said, which he felt was a pretty fair assertion. Barry nodded quickly, stomping through the underbrush as they went. Kravitz was in front, he could break through it faster, but Barry was still doing his best to pull his weight.

“Right no, I figured that. You just seemed kinda… different, since we left the palace. Said you learned something? Just wanted to be sure you’re cool,” he said, and there was something a little frustrating on the way Barry insisted on being so perceptive. Despite that he could not quite fight against it anymore.

He still wasn’t sure if Barry was the person he wanted to be talking about all of this with, but he wasn’t even sure if he wanted to talk about it  _ at all. _ He supposed out of anyone, somehow Barry was the safest.

“I am alright in this regard. I think,” he said, because he wanted to be fine. He should be fine. He didn’t quite feel fine. “The queen was able to confirm the suspicion that I have indeed developed a soul of my own,” he said, and Barry perked up some at that. It wasn’t his normal exuberance and excitement at the topic, but considering how long they had been walking for that made sense.

“Oh shit, really? That’s incredible bud!” he said, and Kravitz didn’t respond to that. He supposed that reaction made sense, and he should probably feel that way too.

It was just so much to take in. He still wasn’t sure how to feel about it.

“Is… is it incredible?” Barry asked after a long stretch of silence, and once again Kravitz sighed. He wondered what real sighs actually felt like, they looked and sounded so cathartic.

“I do not know. A part of me wishes it wasn’t true. Everything was so much simpler before this,” he said, and Barry nodded at that, a thoughtful look on his face.

“That’s fair. Would you go back, if you could?” he asked, and Kravitz almost paused at the question. The only reason why he didn’t was because he could not let Taako go stuck in that place for even a second longer than he needed to. He did not have the time to sit and contemplate like he might have wanted to about all of this.

“Go back?” he asked, cutting through several thick vines in their path. He tried to think of what that would be like, to wipe away all those messy, complicated and confusing emotions he was stuck with now. All these attachments that just seemed to wrap him up in webs and left everything a tangled maze. To go back to that comfortable, simple existence, a numb and content being. There were parts that were certainly tempting.

But the thought of ridding himself of the love he had for Taako now, of no longer having that knowledge of the Queen being his mother. No longer having his music, to be able to cast spells. Having those he considered friends.

“No. No I would not go back,” he said decisively, because it truly wasn’t a choice anymore. He had been happy with his existence before, content, but he could not return to it after all of this.

They didn’t talk much for the rest of the trip. A part of Kravitz wanted to, but he told himself now wasn’t the time to get into every little detail. He could get into it all later, after they had Taako back. So instead it was quiet as they made their way through the forest, everything so simple as they walked up to a large, deceptively plain looking building in the middle of a clearing.

It wasn’t tall, keeping well below the trees to ensure it wasn’t sticking out too severely. The outside was all curved and striped white and black, and as they looked at it from the tree line Kravitz was struggling to find any sign of an entrance.

“This has to be it,” Barry said, and Kravitz found himself nodding in agreement. There was something about the whole set up that felt off, the colors too perfect, the lines too straight, all of it so starkly unnatural compared to the forest around them.

“What is our plan?” Kravitz asked, and there was definitely something a little surreal about that. Working with Barry had not been something he had ever envisioned, and he certainly never would have thought himself to trust the man so much as to let him take the lead in anything. He could see just how much the man cared about this though, and besides, they didn’t have any other choice.

“We need to stick together, and we need to stay focused. Everything I’ve heard about Wonderland talks about the way it tries to trick you. We can’t fall for any of it, we need to just get in there, get Taako and Lup, and not let anything else distract us,” he said. Kravitz nodded, and he couldn’t imagine anything that could distract him from this goal.

“We should try and keep as much of an element of stealth to us as possible,” Kravitz added. Barry seemed to think that over for a moment, and then he pulled out his wand. Or well, the wand Kravitz had been sure to grab for him before releasing him from the stockade. They would return it later, if they managed to actually come back.

Kravitz didn’t argue as he cast invisibility on the two of the, and that was better than nothing.

Sneaking up to the building, as they walked around it once there didn’t seem to be any sort of discernible entrance. If they were going for stealth, busting down a wall didn’t feel like the best plan. Coming to a stop, he wanted to turn towards Barry but he couldn’t actually see him.

“Barry?” he whispered, and he heard shuffling from a few feet away quickly coming towards his voice. “Any idea on how to get in?” he asked, and when he felt something move his arm slightly it was hard for him to resist immediately pulling away before he realized it was Barry.

“I might be able to teleport us in, but I’m not sure what kind of magic is going on in there or what the space is like. It’s uh, it’s definitely some powerful shit, I can feel that from here, so it’s gonna be tricky,” he said, and Kravitz wondered if that was the unnaturalness of this place that he had been picking up on.

“Do your best,” he said, and he couldn’t see Barry’s response to that with the invisibility still up. He could hear the human take a deep breath though, seeming to steady himself before going to cast the spell.

“Alright, three, two, one,” he said, giving Kravitz a countdown before the teleportation hit. The reaction was immediate when he hit one, the surrounding area disappearing from his sight in a white blur. He couldn’t feel traditionally, so when they landed he was able to take the slight crash without much issue. The tug on his arm from Barry holding him before was gone now, and he had no way of telling right away if Barry was still here with the invisibility intact, or if they had gotten separated.

“Barry? Barry are you still there?” he whispered, pushing himself up to his feet and trying to take in his surroundings as fast as possible. Which… weren’t what he was expecting. He was outside still, and he cursed as he realized Barry must’ve gotten the spell wrong.

“Damn it Bluejeans, where are you?” he huffed, starting to walk around to try and get a better idea of where he was. Instead of the thick forest they had been in before he was walking along rolling hills, a wheat field off to the side.

Kravitz wasn’t sure how long he was walking for when he heard rustling in some of the wheat up ahead. He let out a sigh of relief, quickly rushing towards it.

“There you are. Something went wrong with the spell. We have to try agai-” he started, his voice dying when Barry wasn’t the one to come out of the field. Instead Taako stumbled out from between the tall grass, a wild smile on his face as he brushed bits of grass off of him and out of his hair. It seemed to take him a moment to even notice Kravitz was there, but when he did there was no surprise there, just excitement.

“Oh hey, thought I lost you there for a second,” he said, and Kravitz was frozen. There was no way it was this easy. This couldn’t be right.

“You’re alright?” he asked, voice tentative as he tried not to get his hopes up. Taako looked confused by that, cocking his head to the side some and raising an eyebrow.

“Yeah, of course I am. You sure  _ you’re _ alright there babe?” he asked, and Kravitz took a hesitant step forward as he looked Taako over. He was beautiful, not made up quite as much as he would be for a show, but as far as Kravitz was concerned he was even more breathtaking like this. His hair was in a loose braid, and he was wearing a flowing yellow button up blouse and white shorts, with a large wide brimmed hat.

He looked like the sun.

“I thought- I though you might have been gone,” he said, because something still wasn’t right about this. He had been so terrified before, why had he been so terrified?

“Sorry, got a bit distracted while you were taking a nap,” he said, and that  _ certainly _ wasn’t right.

“Taako, I don’t sl… sleep,” he said, fumbling when Taako walked over to him and grabbed his hand. A fleshy, real hand, that he could actually feel.

“You sure you’re feeling alright babe? Maybe we should just go eat,” Taako said, starting to pull him along down the hill. All Kravitz could do was follow along as they reached a small blanket spread out, a basket with containers of food laid out on top of it. Looking off in the distance, Kravitz could see a small town close by. Taako pulled him down to sit on the blanket, and all Kravitz could think about was how warm his hand was.

“I don’t understand,” he said, and Taako was frowning slightly now, obvious concern on his face.

“What’s wrong?” he asked, and he was sitting so close. He was so close and Kravitz only wanted him closer but that wasn’t- this wasn’t how it was supposed to go.

“Nothing. Nothing’s wrong, but I was just… I was so certain you were gone,” he said, and Taako smiled softly at that.

“I’m right here babe,” he said, and Kravitz nodded at that.

“I know. It’s just… it all seems too good to be true,” he said, because it did. It was all so perfect and that wasn’t- this couldn’t be real.

“Does that matter?” Taako asked, and Kravitz frowned at that. He could feel himself frown, and that- that wasn’t right either. He knew it was wrong and yet it was so hard to focus on that, so he tried to put his attention back onto Taako’s question instead.  _ Did _ it matter?

“I don’t know,” he answered honestly, still trying to make sense of all this.

“Then what’s the point in worrying about it? You’re happy, right?” he asked, and Kravitz nodded a bit hesitantly.

“Of course,” he said, looking down at their hands clasped together and trying desperately to remember how he had gotten here. What had he been doing before this? Maybe Taako was right, did it really matter the how if he was here now? If he could actually be with Taako?

Except there had been a reason they couldn’t be before, and that did feel important. Felt just as important as having Taako here in front of him, to actually be able to feel his hand pressing into his, to get a chance to share in the food he enjoyed so much.

When he remembered it felt like it hit him in the gut.

His Queen.

His  _ mother. _

“I can’t- I’m sorry,” he said, pulling his hand away. The hurt look Taako gave him felt sharp and cutting right in his chest, and immediately he wanted to take it back, to assure Taako that he would stay. But he couldn’t.

“What do you mean?” he asked, and it was hard to tell what he was thinking which Kravitz hated more than anything. He just wanted to ensure that Taako was happy, but he didn’t know if he could do that, and it all still didn’t make any sense and it felt like he was missing something obvious.

“I need to go home,” he said, because Taako knew this. He knew this and always respected it, sometimes seemed to care about it more than Kravitz did at times, but he was frowning deeply now.

“I thought you wanted to be with me. What’s missing?” he asked, and Kravitz quickly shook his head.

“It’s not that. I do, of course I do,” he tried to assure, but before he could continue Taako cut him off.

“Then what’s wrong?” he asked, and Kravitz was frowning now. This wasn’t right, and only seemed to be getting more and more wrong.

“Nothing is wrong, but it’s- you have to know this isn’t right,” he said, reaching out and grabbing Taako’s hands again, and he didn’t think he would ever get tired of that feeling. Of just  _ feeling, _ he didn’t want this to end. He wished he could stay here forever.

But he’d left a note, and he needed to go back.

“I’m sorry, but I can’t just leave them like this,” he said softly.

Taako pulled his hands away, and Kravitz wondered if that was what all the books meant when they talked about their hearts plummeting.

“So you want to go back to the palace then? You want the construct life instead?” Taako asked, and as he spoke the scene around them changed. The rolling fields and small picnic were replaced with the large form of the palace behind them. They were standing along the side, down that route Kravitz had walked so many times, and so terribly close to where he had first met Taako.

“No, no it’s not that,” he insisted, and when he went to reach out towards Taako he froze. The dark skin and freshly pressed clothes that had made up his arm before were replaced with the slick metal of his construct. Taako was still there, but he was standing so far away.

“Then what is it? Whatever you want, you can have it. You can have  _ anything _ here, you just have to make up your mind,” Taako said, and Kravitz shook his head, slumping down to his knees.

“I don’t  _ know,” _ he said, and he could see his form changing now, slow at first but then gaining speed, until it was rapidly switching between flesh and bones and dark metal. “I don’t…” he trailed off, and when he looked up at Taako now he could see the differences. An impatience there that wasn’t unheard of in Taako, but that had not been directed towards him in so long, and never over something like this.

Taako had described dreams to him before, those strange things that seemed to make sense when you were in them, but quickly unraveled when you actually took a step back and looked at all the component pieces. He could see that here now. Could see the ways that everything was not adding up, could see how he had gotten lost in it so easy without much question.

And he could remember what Barry had said before. What he said on their way here, to Wonderland.

It was a trap, giving you everything you could ever want.

“You’re not Taako,” he said, pushing himself back up to his feet. “None of this is real, it’s not- where is he?” he asked, and his mind was slowly starting to clear. His thoughts coming together as he remembered what was going on, remembered why he had been so panicked to start off with, so surprised to see Taako safe and sound.

“I can be him, if you want me to be,” the fake said, and Kravitz shook his head.

“No, no I have to save him. What have you  _ done with him?!” _ he was shouting now, trying to look for some way out. This false Taako did not look particularly bothered by the display, if maybe somewhat disappointed.

“Oh, it’s far too late for any of that,” he said, and Kravitz couldn’t feel anymore. Whatever magic this place had been using to trick him into thinking he had sensations was gone now, and yet it still felt like a knife in his chest, twisting painfully as this poor imitation started to smirk.

Kravitz didn’t think as he acted, he needed to get  _ out of here _ and he couldn’t believe what this thing was saying. He wouldn’t, not until he saw for himself. There still had to be a chance, he couldn’t be gone yet.

He grabbed his violin, and for a moment he wasn’t sure if it was real or fake, but he couldn’t bring himself to care.

The blast he ended up sending out with a piercing note on his violin seemed to be real enough at least, sending the imitation flying back. It reverberated around the area, the ground and walls and even bits of the sky seeming to crack slightly, the illusion starting to break.

“I said, where  _ is he?” _ he snapped, keeping the violin in place as he walked towards where the fake Taako had fallen. As he closed the distance the imitation started to push himself back to his feet, a snarl on his face.

“You’re going to regret that,  _ babe,” _ he hissed, and there was a part of Kravitz that felt so wrong hurting this thing that wore Taako’s face. It wasn’t him though, he had to keep that in mind. It was some sort of trick, a mind game that only wanted to keep him here and away from saving the actual Taako.

So instead of giving him a chance to react Kravitz played another note on his violin, sending more shockwaves out, cracking the very world around him. It was impossible to see what was actually outside of the illusion encasing them, bright rainbow lights shining out and casting strange shadows across everything.

When he turned back towards the false Taako, Kravitz froze. He kept telling himself that it wasn’t real, it wasn’t  _ him, _ but that didn’t make the sight before him any less disturbing.

Those same cracks were running along his body now, cutting across his face, which was still twisted into a mask of pure rage.

“Enough of that now,” he said, a hand reaching out. Before Kravitz could process what the thing was doing he set off the spell, the violin in his hands exploding into a shower of splintered wood. If Kravitz had been made of anything but metal and stone the explosion so close to his face would have surely caused some irreparable damage. Instead it left him trying to hide how devastated he was at the destruction, forcing himself to turn it to rage.

That fake Taako smirked, a taunting grin on his face, and Kravitz wanted to throttle the thing stealing that face.

Clamping down on that instinct though, he turned away from the figure. He needed to focus on getting out of here. On finding some way to save Taako.

So he turned his attention to those glowing cracks of light.

Maybe it was a dumb idea. If he was actually alive, in the way that people were with bodies that could feel and hurt and bleed, it certainly would have gravely injured him, if not outright killed him. He was fairly sure it was tantamount to running through a brick wall. Even the impostor shouted in protest when he broke into a full run, crashing into the strange boundary keeping him locked in this illusion.

Kravitz didn’t sleep, but there was a strange sensation of having to almost reboot after breaking through the barrier, the world going out of focus for a moment before returning. He was certainly experiencing the closest thing he could feel to pain, acutely aware of the damage taken to a large chunk of his form. The shoulder he’d shoved through first was a crumpled metal mess, it taking an excruciating amount of effort to move that arm now.

There wasn’t any time to worry about that though. Pushing himself up to his feet, he could immediately tell that something was wrong. It took him a moment to figure out what though, the uneasy dread not showing up in any sort of diagnostic.

When he looked down at himself though, he could see the problem immediately. A long, deep crack now shot across his core, some of that soft blue light shining out that slightest bit brighter.

“Oh,” he said softly, placing a hand over the crack.

He didn’t get to process that for long though, immediately distracted by the sound of an explosion behind him. Turning, it was easy to see how this monster wasn’t the real Taako, glaring indignant daggers at him as it walked through the rubble.

“This would be so much easier if you just let yourself be  _ happy,” _ it growled, raising up a hand and with a flick of its wrist, several of the large pieces of stone and wall came flying at Kravitz. He managed to dodge out of the way of the largest piece, taking the others and letting them break into pieces against his already battered form.

Looking back up, the thing was closer.

It also was no longer Taako.

“Come home dear, come back to where you belong,” it said, taking on the voice and appearance of his Queen now. He shouldn’t have hesitated, he should have expected the tricks, the plays on his emotions by now. He flinched though, and realized his mistake a second too late, a nasty, unnatural smirk on her face as she raised a hand up.

Whatever attack it’d been preparing didn’t come though, the thing pausing as the entire building shuddered around them. There was a moment of surprise, and then a smile stretched across its face that left Kravitz terrified.

“Well, looks like it’s finally starting. Sorry to cut this short, but I’m afraid that little boyfriend of yours is exactly what we’ve been waiting for,” it said. Kravitz wanted to ask what was happening, what were they doing with Taako, where the fuck  _ was _ he? He wanted to fight this thing until it gave him the answers, and he didn’t care whose face it wore while he did it.

Before he could do anything though, the creature that wore the face of his mother raised one arm high up into the air, letting out a clear  _ snap. _

Kravitz wasn’t able to move fast enough before the ceiling came collapsing down on him.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Okay I can very confidently say that this fic will have 30 chapters altogether, as I am currently writing the last one now. I am going to keep up with the once a week saturday update schedule, because that's only five chapters left and I don't wanna just blow through them. Plus, it's kinda nice to have a schedule and actually stick to it, this will be the first fic I've stuck to so successfully once I put in the schedule, so it'll be nice to finish it out. 
> 
> as always, thanks for reading and I hope you enjoyed~


	26. Memories

Taako tried to slam against the solid white wall, his shoulder throbbing in pain as he bounced off and stumbled to the ground. Magic clearly wasn’t working in here, and so he didn’t have any other choice but to try and brute force his way out. Which so far did not seem to be having any more of an impact than the failed magic.

Still, he forced himself to ignore the pain running up and down his side as he pushed himself back to his feet. Taking a deep, shuddering breath he ran up to the wall again, this time pounding on it with his fists.

“Lup! Kravitz!” he shouted, and even screaming something about this place made his voice sound muffled. “Let me fucking out of here!” he continued anyway, banging until he couldn’t feel the pain in his hands anymore. “Let- let me… out,” he continued, panting heavily as his protests slowed down, until he was just clinging to the wall. He could feel his legs start to give out underneath him, sliding to a heap on the ground.

_ “Fuck,” _ he said, his voice coming out in a horsed whisper. He didn’t know what was going on in this place, but what had started as panic and exhaustion was quickly turning into a lightheadedness and nausea that was leaving him shaking. He could still feel that second heartbeat there still. In fact it was getting stronger and stronger, until it felt like his whole chest was going to burst with each rhythmic pulse.

“Please…” he barely managed to whisper, his hand falling off the wall as he fully collapsed, no longer having the strength to even sit up against the wall. He forced himself not to shut his eyes though, and he could see the area around him change.

Those solid, near blinding white walls began to darken, shifting until the whole world seemed to be shining a brilliant red. As the color finished shifting Taako couldn’t be sure if he was shuddering, or if the entire world around him was. It might have been both.

Taako was paralyzed as he watched some sort of crackling energy start to erupt from the walls around him, red lightning with white centers shooting around the room in explosive bursts. It was getting real hard to think, but he could still be annoyed that there were all these giant explosions and of course they weren’t making even a dent in the walls. He couldn’t be that lucky.

Instead all he could do was lay there and watch as one of those giant arching bolts of energy snaked its way through the air and hit him square in the chest.

There was a flash where he could tell he was screaming, where it felt like his soul was on fire, and like all of the life was being sucked out of him.

And then a sharp clarity, like a switch had been flipped and the fog over his mind burned away.

Then darkness.

-

“You sure about this Lulu?” Taako asked for what was probably the sixth or seventh time since they woke up this morning. It wasn’t that he was nervous or anything, he just wanted to be sure. It was a big decision after all, and if it went wrong, well…

Okay, maybe he was a little nervous, but it was for Lup’s safety, not his own.

“Oh you know it,” she said, a grin on her face as she finished gently etching the last arcane rune into the candle she was holding, placing it down with the others. That smile faltered somewhat though, and he could see her glance over at him for just a second. “If you’re having second thoughts though, it’s- we can stop. We don’t have to do this,” she said, and he knew she meant that. If he decided he wanted to call this whole thing off she would stop in a heartbeat, melt down all the candles, shove the books they had out back into some pocket dimension and never bring it up again.

And he was seriously considering making that call. They were excellent wizards, the fucking best, and he trusted Lup’s magic. He didn’t think that it would fail, but it was still a possibility. That sliver of a chance that it would all come crashing down that truly terrified him.

But instead he shook his head, trying to give her a reassuring smile and not too sure how well he managed it. Still, they had come this far, and they’d already laid out the reasons why a million times. It would keep them safer, it would keep them connected, even as they went off towards their own lives. Magic had always been that for them, a safety net, a bond to ensure they could be there for each other. To protect each other.

He was already Lup’s heart, and she was his. This was just making it a little bit more literal.

“Nah, let’s do this shit,” he said, getting an excited smile from his sister in return.

“Hell yeah,” she said, and with that they started to actually prepare the ritual. It was complicated, and heavily modified from the original dark tome they found it in. It was definitely a little weird when Lup started to get into the necromancy stuff, almost as weird as the way Barry had started worming his way into their lives at all.

Taako hadn’t trusted him at first, but Taako didn’t trust anyone, let alone some weird nerd that Lup had dragged along from a library one day. He had figured that it would be some passing thing, because that’s how other people were to them. They weren’t shut ins, but no one ever bothered to stick around, so they didn’t either. Taako had long since accepted that it would always be like that, and he was chill with it.

Which did make Barry staying real fucking strange at first. It had been a slow thing, so slow that Taako didn’t even notice it for a while. He was just some dude who was at the library in Neverwinter a lot. Sometimes Lup would talk to him, sometimes they both would, and then they’d leave town and not see him again for months. Taako didn’t think much about the guy during their time traveling, he figured Lup didn’t either.

Oh boy did he end up being wrong about that one though. It took him longer than he was proud of to realize his sister was crushing on the nerd, but to be fair to him that had never really happened before. It was however  _ much _ easier to realize that Barry had it bad for Lup, that one was pretty damn obvious.

It still surprised him how excited he was every time they showed back up. How genuinely disappointed he seemed every time they left.

And Taako didn’t miss the way their trips to Neverwinter were getting longer, their travels away becoming shorter. He had teased Lup about it at first, back before he realized just how serious the two in denial lovebirds had it.

Taako was pretty sure neither of them had expected it when Barry actually asked one day, when Lup was taking forever to say goodbye as they prepared to head out of town again, to come with them. The offer was quick and presented as a joke that the dude quickly assured them was no pressure, but it was still painfully obvious how serious he was.

Things had changed after that, and Taako had never been a big fan of change but even he could admit that this was a good one. By the time Lup and Barry had actually gotten over themselves and started dating he already considered the dork his best fucking friend, fully prepared for the inevitability of having the dude as a brother-in-law someday. It took even longer for the two to get to that point, but it was clear that was where they were heading. So even though it was new and strange, Taako couldn’t help but be happy for his sister. It was nice, seeing her so fucking happy.

He hoped that this would be the same. Strange, new, but ultimately something that would make them both happier.

Becoming a lich was probably something most people would consider  _ a little extreme, _ but Lup had always been the one to want to push her magic to the edge. She needed to learn everything, to become stronger and better, and it wasn’t like he didn’t understand that drive. Maybe he didn’t have it quite as bad as she did, but like fuck was he not going to be there to support her.

Lup did have a limit though, hell she had better morals than he did most of the time. She wasn’t going to hurt anyone in her search for knowledge, in her attempts to make sure they would always be protected. That was why they needed to change the spell.

It would take an incredible amount of power for Lup to bind her soul to magic like that, even more so to keep her mind right while she did it. That was usually where the whole sacrifices aspect came into play with the normal bid for lichdom. Inspecting each candle as he placed it down on its precise location on the rune Lup had painted onto the floor, Taako knew that was where he came into play.

There was a lot of power in a life, but there was even more power in the ties that held those lives together. Those bonds.

Even Lup could admit that it would be too much power for her to handle by herself, so they weren’t going to do that. A single body wouldn’t be able to survive with that much magic inside of it, there needed to be somewhere else for that magic to go. A place for her soul to rest where it would be safe.

Most liches made that place an object. It made sense if they were going for longevity, objects like rings or talismans or weird glowing crystals could last a hell of a long time if you were careful. That wasn’t the point of this though. Lup wasn’t looking to live forever, just the opposite. It was near about impossible to imagine a life without the other in it.

So making Taako that place, that container for her soul seemed like an obvious choice.

“Alright,” Lup said, standing up once the last of the candles were placed. Taako could start to see the slightest jitters in her now, but it was hard to tell if it was from excitement or nerves. Probably both. “One more chance to back out bro,” she offered, and Taako appreciated that. Even still, he shook his head again, taking one more deep breath.

“Oh no, we’re doing this,” he said, and Lup nodded at that.

The actual ritual was surprisingly simple. Taako walked out into the middle of the rune, turning and facing Lup. He could see the nerves there now, and maybe that should have worried him. If this went wrong after all, it wasn’t only Lup who could be permanently damaged. It was very easy for this to backfire, for it to straight up kill him.

He trusted Lup though, so he didn’t even flinch as she took a long, slow breath and steadied herself.

With a quiet incantation the candles all lit at once, the runes that had been meticulously etched into each one glowing with a soft red light soon after. That light increased as the rune below him started to glow as well, and then he could see that same glow inside of Lup, growing until her eyes were a bright, solid red as well.

The small flames on each of the candles grew, until they were giving off bolts of arcane energy that quickly joined together to form a circle around him.

And then that energy turned itself inward, and there was a moment where Taako could feel all of it. A blinding amount of power that left him frozen, locked in place, the feeling of fire traveling through every part of his body without actually burning him.

And almost as quickly as it had started it faded, the fire inside shrinking and congealing into a warm, pulsing energy in his chest. As his sight came back to him he found himself on the ground, not too sure when he had collapsed but not that surprised that he had either. Looking across from him, he could see Lup lying there as well, and there was a moment where panic gripped his chest.

And then he saw her breathing, and he pushed himself to his knees, moving over and shaking her shoulder.

“Lup? Shit, you okay? Lup?” he asked, still pretty fucking worried something might have gone wrong despite the fact that she was still alive. He let out a huge sigh of relief when she rolled onto her back, a smug grin started to stretch across her face as she opened her eyes.

“Oh yeah, I’d say I’m pretty fucking good bro,” she said, starting to push herself up. “And- and you’re good? It doesn’t hurt, or anything?” she asked, and Taako shook his head. Putting a hand up to his chest, he could barely even notice the feeling there now, it settling in like it was meant to be there.

“Nope, I think we’re good,” he said.

And for a while, they were.

They didn’t tell Barry right away, although Taako was pretty sure it wasn’t because Lup was afraid he’d react badly. Nah, they both knew he’d just be thrilled by the arcane theory behind it, the fact that they actually managed to pull it off. If anything Taako was pretty sure she was just waiting for the right moment to tell him.

And it didn’t really end up changing anything. Lup’s magic was stronger, but it wasn’t often that she needed to use it. They still traveled, but not quite as much as when they were younger, and usually it was the three of them now.

When Lup and Barry got engaged they actually started to talk about… staying. It was tentative, but they had never even thrown around the idea of settling down before, and it was kind of wild to Taako.

But if it made his family happy, he was sure he could get used to the idea.

He couldn’t remember who had suggested they go on one last trip before the wedding planning started in earnest. Just him and Lup, like how it had been growing up. They both liked the idea though, and Barry had his own shit he was busy with. They were just going to be gone for two weeks. It would be fun.

Taako didn’t know why they ended up in Armos, but they rarely planned out their travels all that well. They just liked to see the world, to get out there and learn new things, eat new food, whatever they could take in. There wasn’t anything about this town that made it special, it was just a place they hadn’t been before.

“We should check out that library in the morning,” Taako said, flopping down on one of the cots in the inn they grabbed. Lup nodded, but there was something there that Taako couldn’t place. A distractedness in her eyes as she nodded.

“Yeah, that sounds good,” she said, and there wasn’t anything particularly strange about the situation. Even still Taako found himself frowning, looking over at his sister carefully.

“You good Lulu?” he asked. She smiled, seeming to focus back on their surroundings a bit more as she nodded this time.

“Yeah, just thinking,” she said, not elaborating on what it was she was thinking about though. Still, Taako knew there was one thing that was occupying her mind quite a bit nowadays, so he couldn’t say he was that surprised.

“Missing your boy already?” he asked, a teasing tone to her voice. She laughed, and just the fact that she wasn’t denying it was a pretty solid yes.

“Maybe a little,” she said, and there was a slight pause as she tried to figure out the right words. “It’ll just be… nice, to get to go home, ya know?” Lup asked, and Taako nodded. It was still so fucking  _ weird _ for him to think of any one place as home, but he could tell Lup was excited about the idea. He didn’t much care about place, as long as Lup, and now Barry, were there, he would be happy with just about anything.

So they went to sleep that night, and he didn’t notice anything strange. Not until early the next morning, a nagging feeling in the back of his head as he tossed and turned. Not until he rolled over, far earlier than he usually woke up, and saw across the room to Lup’s now empty bed.

“Shit,” he breathed out, and maybe there was no real reason to panic yet. She could have just gone off to the bathroom, but everything in his body was screaming that something was  _ wrong. _

“Lup? Lup!” he called, not bothering to change out of his sleep clothes or anything as he ran out of the inn. The relief at seeing Lup’s form walking down the street was quickly overtaken by the worry about what was going on. About why she wasn’t responding when he called out at her.

“Lup! Lulu, fucking  _ hell,” _ he said, finally reaching her and grabbing her shoulder. She stopped with a jolt, blinking rapidly before looking over at him. He could see her taking in their surroundings, the confusion that was quickly turning into a light panic.

“Taako? What- what are we doing out here?” she asked, suspicion and fear in her voice.

“Fuck if I know. I woke up and you weren’t in your bed and when I came out here you you were acting like you couldn’t hear me,” he said, and he could see her struggling to remember the last few moments.

“Something’s wrong,” she said finally, an intensity to her voice that Taako did not like in the slightest. “Something’s wrong, we have to go. We gotta go back home,” she added, and he wasn’t going to argue with that. When she grabbed his wrist he followed along as she started to run them back to the inn, presumably so that they could get their stuff and get the fuck out of there.

They didn’t get there, Lup stopping after only a few feet again, letting go of his arm to clutch at her head.

"Shit, you okay? The fuck's going on?" Taako asked, and he had already been pretty damn freaked out before. Seeing his sister clearly in pain like this was not helping the matter in the slightest.

“I don’t know but I can’t- I can’t think. You don’t  _ feel _ that?” she asked, and Taako shook his head, keeping a hold on her as she sunk down to her knees.

“No, Lup look, we gotta  _ go,”  _ he tried, hoping that maybe if they got away from here they could get away from whatever the fuck was doing this to his sister. Maybe they could get back to Barry and he could help them figure out what the problem was. He just knew with a certainty that he couldn’t quite place that they couldn’t stay here.

Before Lup could answer though he heard another voice speak up.

“Oh! So that’s the problem right there,” it said, cutting through the cold winter air. He had barely been able to process it when running around, even with barely more than socks on, but sitting down on the ground now the light dusting of snow was leaking through his clothes and leaving him freezing. “There’s  _ two _ of them.”

“Who the fuck are you?” Lup growled, trying to bite back the pain in her voice. Taako glared over at the other elf, all dressed in bright colors and glitz.

“We’re just a couple of hardworking siblings trying to make a life for ourselves. Surely you can understand that,” another voice said, and Taako’s head snapped around to see the other, nearly identical elf.

“Alright then, new question. The fuck do you want?” he snapped, and he was thankful for the years of paranoia from living on the road at that moment, slowly reaching into his pocket and clasping a hand around his wand. He could see Lup starting to do the same, trying not to be noticed.

“It’s quite simple really. Tell us which one of you is the lich and we won’t have any trouble,” one of them said, and Taako felt a chill run down his spine as Lup froze next to him. He didn’t know how they figured out one of them was a lich, it wasn’t something they  _ told _ people. That kind of necromancy could be sensed by those who knew what they were looking for, but apparently not enough for them to determine exactly which was the lich. Not when the other was acting as a phylactery.

“I am.”

They both spoke at once, their voices echoed on top of each other, and it wasn’t like Taako was surprised by it. Of course, the two assholes they were up against groaned in over dramatic annoyance.

“Ugh, it’s going to be like  _ that, _ is it?” the male elf said, and by now Lup seemed to have regained some control of herself. Taako helped pull her back to her feet, and he could see her nod out of the corner of his eye, not looking away from these dickbags. Later he knew she’d get pissed at him for lying, for putting himself into the line of danger just as much as her, but right now they didn’t have time to argue over it.

Plus, he knew she’d do the exact same thing for him if their positions were reversed.

“It sure as fuck is. So, what’s it gonna be? Square up or go home,” she snapped, flames starting to lick around her hands. Taako followed suit, making sure to match her power step by step. The other two elves shared a quick glance, and even if he already hated these fuckers he could easily recognize the silent conversation going on between them. It was a twin thing.

The blasts came at them faster than Taako expected, but Lup managed to get up a shield of fire before it hit them. Using that as cover, he shot out several bolts of lightning in the direction of the other elves, before grabbing Lup’s arm and starting to run.

Those bastards didn’t let them get far though. Instead of dispersing after protecting them, Taako could feel the heat from Lup’s shield at their backs, growing hotter and brighter. Lup pulled them to a stop, turning to see in horror as the female elf used the fire from her shield to twist around them into a large circle, cutting off their path.

And even worse, she didn’t seem to care about what buildings got in the way of the circle. Taako could already see some of the ones along this street starting to catch, others sure to follow.

“You mother _ fucker!” _ Lup shouted, throwing another blast at her. Taako couldn’t focus on that though, turning to head off an attack by the other elf. Casting a storm sphere, he tried to make it so that it at least blew out some of the fire as well, a true show of multi-tasking.

It didn’t take long for the asshole to escape it though, and it was becoming increasingly obvious that these fuckers were… stronger than Taako expected.

And the fire was continuing to spread. They could hear screaming now, every so often he could see people trying to get a look at what was going on before losing their nerve and running off.

“Lulu, we gotta go,” he said finally, smacking one of the elves out of the sky with a Bigby’s hand. He could immediately see the protest on Lup’s face, which he saw coming. He knew she wouldn’t like it, but they didn’t have any fucking choice. He didn’t know who these people were or what they wanted with them, but he had no intention of finding out.

“But these people-” she started, and at least two blocks around them had caught at this point, maybe more. It was hard to tell from their position, but it seemed like the other elves were trying their best to send out the fire as much as possible. Either to keep them trapped, or just as a way of distraction, he didn’t know. He didn’t care.

“Lup, listen to me. We have. To  _ go,”  _ he insisted, grabbing her wrist. He could see that hesitation there one more time, the desperate search for some other solution, but it didn’t last long. She was even smarter than he was after all, she just cared more too. Taking a deep breath, she nodded.

Without saying another word, he started to cast dimension door.

And felt the breath leave him as the magic was snuffed out with a powerful counterspell.

“Now now, there’s no  _ running away _ here. It’s been far too long since another lich stable enough came along, we simply can’t pass up an opportunity like that!” the female elf said, or not elf. Maybe at one point, but it was clear what these things were now, and it was strange, because he’d never been afraid of Lup. He never thought of her as anything other than his sister, and becoming a lich hadn’t changed that.

It was easy to see here though, in these two, what monsters they were.

“Another…” Lup said quietly, and it was so rare to hear her actually sounding afraid.

“And since you won’t tell us which one of you is the lich, we’re just gonna have to figure it out ourselves!” the male said, sounding excited by the prospect.

“Taako,” Lup started, and he did not like the tone of her voice. It was hard, a determination there that made his heart drop into his stomach. “Go get help. I’ll keep them busy until then.”

“No, no fuck that, absolutely not,” he tried, because there was no way he was leaving Lup to these assholes. He wasn’t going to leave his sister.

“I’ll be fine, go,” she said, and he could see her starting to cast a spell.

“What did we  _ just _ say? Neither of you are going anywhere!” the female lich shouted, and it happened too fast for Taako to really identify what the spell was that she threw at Lup. He didn’t care either, throwing himself in its path. What hit him didn’t hurt, not in a physical sense.

His brain felt like it was on fire though, his vision going white, any attempt at thoughts replaced with an agonizing buzz that left his ears ringing.

There were only two things he heard after that.

An enraged shout of protest.

And someone calling his name.

He woke up in a forest, partially covered in snow and his brain too scrambled to form proper thoughts.

—

And now again, his brain was on fire. He couldn’t see, his sight a blinding white. He couldn’t move, his life and every sliver of magic inside of him being drained.

This time though, he could hear three things.

A loud crash.

An enraged, pained scream.

And someone calling his name.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> so this chapter was extremely exposition heavy, which I hope y'all don't mind too much. Needed to get all this information out eventually and this seemed like the best time. If anyone was curious, Taako was basically hit with a very powerful form of feeblemind before Lup teleported him away. 
> 
> as always, thanks for reading and I hope you enjoyed!


	27. Choices

The ceiling collapsing down like that would have probably been enough to kill most people. At the very least the weight of it all on what was sure to be several broken bones and damaged insides would have kept them down for a long, agonizing wait until someone hopefully came to save them. Or until they died.

But that wasn’t a problem for Kravitz. His construct was certainly protesting, and it took a painfully long few minutes before he managed to dig himself free, but he could do it. He just had to clear enough to be able to crawl through, and as soon as he had most of his torso up he could basically drag himself out of the rubble.

Once he was out he could see that the hallway he was in now was thankfully empty. It wasn’t the same as he’d last seen it though, and it was hard to know if it was because the illusion had dropped, or if this was a new one, or if something had actually just changed about the area. Whichever it was though, he doubted it was the sign of anything good happening.

The area was still dim, but any light that did exist had shifted to a deep red hue, and the whole place seemed to be rumbling, pulsing like a slowly faltering heartbeat. He didn’t know what it meant, but he sure as fuck didn’t like it. He couldn’t afford to stand around getting his bearings. It didn’t matter that he had no idea where to go, he just had to keep looking as fast as possible, so that’s what he did. Running forward, he started calling out for the others.

“Taako! Barry!” he shouted, and the geometry of this place didn’t seem to make complete sense. It was definitely much,  _ much _ larger than it looked to be on the outside, and Kravitz was fairly sure that halls seemed to loop in on themselves. The longer he ran the more frustrating it was, the more desperate he was getting.

And then he heard a loud, echoing crash.

Not thinking twice, he started to run in that direction, and the crashes were getting louder, more frequent. The light was also getting brighter, and it took him a moment to realize it wasn’t just some ambient, strange set piece to this whole area.

He was running towards a fire, and from the sounds of it, a fierce battle.

_ “Where it he!?” _ a voice shrieked as he got closer, and despite the way his joints were protesting, signals and alarms going off in his construct urging him to stop, to seek repairs, he ran faster. It wasn’t Taako’s voice, but it was similar. It was  _ close. _

Instead of actually being able to find an entrance into whatever room they were fighting in, Kravitz was fairly sure he ended up running in circles around the area until one of the walls ended up getting burst through with a show of force. He barely waited until the fire subsided to run through, wanting to assist in any way he could.

What he ended up seeing though left him frozen, his mind taking several long, precious moments to actually take in the sight in front of him. To comprehend it and try to figure out what it all meant.

There were liches, and that in and of itself wasn’t entirely shocking. Barry had said that the creatures that ran this place were liches after all. He had been prepared for the possibility that he would have to face some when coming to this place. So that wasn’t the issue. It was hard to tell that the two rulers of Wonderland were even liches when he looked at them now, some sort of powerful illusion giving them the appearance of fantastical elves. There was something off though, some leaking of power around them that he couldn't see, couldn't feel even, but knew for a fact was there. It was enough for him to be certain these were the liches he was looking for.

No, the problem was that those two did not seem to be the only liches here.

There was a third, fighting them was an animalistic ferocity as she shouted in rage. Despite the red glow that had started to permeate all of Wonderland she still stood out against it, glowing like a flame as she flew across the sky. She was fighting the two other liches at once, throwing giant balls of fire like they were nothing, trying to throw herself against them with what might as well have been claws made of flames and lightning.

It was honestly terrifying.

The other two liches did not seem to be as affected by the display though, but it was clear that they were at least on the defensive. And angry. They weren’t responding to any of the red specter’s shouts, a clear frustration and hatred there as they tried to fight her off. You would think two on one would be a pretty set match, but somehow she was holding her own. Kravitz’s first instinct was to jump into the fight, to help defeat these things that were keeping Taako trapped here.

But he couldn’t move. And it wasn't a spell or a charm keeping him in place, as frustrating as it would have been this was worse. He couldn't move because he was afraid, and confused, and starting to get very,  _ very _ upset.

And then something happened. Kravitz didn’t notice what at first, the place was a mess, walls collapsing and building back up and catching fire around them.  His focus was too caught on the three liches, any part of his mind not stuck on them trying to figure out some way to get  _ through _ them to get to Taako. He had no doubt that the only way to save him would be through the creatures that had trapped him in this place after all.

So all he noticed was the sudden devilish smirks that cast on the two identical liches faces. The quick glance they gave each other before disappearing suddenly.

The only lich left screamed, an enraged, ragged thing as she curled in on herself, small bolts of arcane power curling off of her. The fact that she was able to feel such a terrible anger, was somehow managing to burn so brightly without immediately burning out was a terrifying sign of power.

“Lup?”

The voice was quiet, but unlike any sane person it didn’t sound terrified. Instead there was a hesitant but clear joy there, Barry’s voice wavering with tears. Finally able to move Kravitz's head shot towards him. He could see him taking a small step forward, looking at this terrifying, flame of a lich like she was the sun.

The lich meanwhile (Lup, he had called her  _ Lup. _ She’d been fighting the rulers of Wonderland, she sounded  _ so much like Taako, _ but there was no way. This couldn’t- she couldn’t-) was frozen in place. All the wild billowing from before that made her look like a forest fire was gone, which was somehow even more unnerving. She didn’t quite have a face as she turned towards Barry, but as her hands started to curl and her shoulders raised Kravitz could see the pure, unfiltered  _ hate _ in her form.

“No. Never again. I won’t let you use him  _ ever again!”  _ she said, her voice starting quiet before raising into a shout as she created a large swirl of flames above her. He could see the moment Barry realized something was wrong, way,  _ way _ longer than it should have taken him. He didn’t even seem to try and fight back, standing in shock.

Kravitz was across the room before the blast could hit, knocking the dumbstruck man to the ground and shielding him. The flames stopped much faster than expected, cutting off almost instantly.

“Who- what are you? What is this?” she snapped, and the rage there was quickly being replaced with confusion. Kravitz intended to keep shielding the human who clearly had a death wish, but Barry was crawling out from under him before he could try and grab him.

“It’s- it’s me, Lup, it’s-” Barry tried, but before he could finish the lich was cutting him off again.

“No! No stop it! Stop talking, stop using his voice! You! Who are  _ you!” _ she snapped, and at least she wasn’t attacking anymore. Kravitz made sure to stay between the lich and Barry, standing up as he answered. They didn’t have time for this, but he doubted they would be able to fight their way through her either.

“I’m a- my name is Kravitz,” he said, and he didn’t expect that to mean anything to the lich, so he was surprised when she actually flinched.

“Krav- are you… are you Taako’s Kravitz?” she asked, and that explained it as well as confirmed several things Kravitz had been hoping weren't true. He nodded, and he expected some sort of response, but instead the lich simply stayed hovering there, staring in shock. And well, this was all too much for Kravitz to stand there and stay quiet.

“You never said anything about her being a lich,” he said, turning back towards Barry. The man looked devastated, but Kravitz’s cold voice seemed to snap him out of it some.

“I- I didn’t- I knew you wouldn’t approve, and the queen- I’m sorry Kravitz, I couldn’t,” he stuttered out.

“Did Taako know?” he asked, and he knew exactly why that thought hurt so much, but he didn’t want to think about it. There was some relief there when Barry shook his head, even if there was no way to know for sure if he could actually trust him.

“No- no he didn’t, you saw him Kravitz. He couldn’t remember anything,” he insisted, and that was true, but that wasn’t what Kravitz was asking.

“No, did he know  _ before _ ,” he clarified, and the way Barry deflated already let Kravitz know what the answer was before he said anything. Instead of speaking, he simply nodded.

Then the whole building shuddered again, and the lich, Lup, whoever this was was clutched at what passed for her head, bolts starting to come off of her again.

“I don’t- I don’t understand! I can’t- you’re not real- you’ve never been- Barry I can’t… I can’t do this anymore,” she said, her voice shifting from angry and terrifying to lost and confused. She’d sunk down to the floor at this point, and Kravitz was terrified that she would fall apart completely.

When Barry started to move past him towards her, Kravitz should have tried to stop him. It wasn’t safe, she’d already attacked him once, and even as angry as he was at this being kept from him he did not wish him to die, far from it. Even still, he watched as Barry went up to the lich, kneeling down carefully in front of her, not reaching out and watching with a love and worry and fear that made Kravitz feel like he shouldn’t be here. That this was too intimate.

“I’m so, so sorry Lup. I’m sorry I didn’t come sooner, and I can’t imagine what you had to go through in this place. I can understand if you can’t… trust me right now. But whatever you want, whatever you  _ need, _ just tell me and I swear I will do it. We just have to save Taako and get out of here, we can figure out everything else after, alright?” he said, his voice gentle. Lup nodded, and it was strange, seeing a lich look heartbroken.

“Leave,” she said after a moment, clearly taking Barry off guard. “I want you to leave,” she repeated. For a moment Barry simply looked devastated, tears starting to form in the corners of his eyes.

And then he nodded, pushing himself up to his feet. Without another word he started walking away from the lich, heading towards one of the gaping craters that had been blasted into the walls.

“Barry! What are you doing?” Kravitz asked, grabbing his arm to keep him from leaving. Kravitz wasn’t sure if his construct was failing even worse than he thought, or if the necromancer was just that determined when he pulled himself out of his grasp.

“We need to save Taako. Lup is strong enough to get in there and do it, but not if I’m sticking around her making her unstable like this. If- if she needs me to leave, then I’ll leave,” he said, and despite the resolve there it was clear how hard of a choice this was, his voice choked as he spoke. “Just- just promise me you’ll stay and protect them for me, no matter what, okay bud?” he added, and Kravitz couldn’t do anything but nod.

“Of course,” he said, because he’d come too far at this point. He was still too deeply in love with Taako to turn back now. Barry seemed to relax some at that reassurance, taking one more deep breath before walking out of the room.

“He left…” Lup said softly, a disbelief in her voice like the mere concept was unthinkable.

“Of course he did, you told him to,” he said, and he still had no idea what to think of this being, this lich. He should hate her very existence, but she was-

Even like this, she reminded him so much of Taako.

“He’s  _ real…”  _ she added, and it was clear in her voice just how impossible of an idea that had been. Before Kravitz could confirm it the lich shot up, the sluggish, almost pained looking flickering of her form from before getting rapid like well fanned flames again, her form burning brighter.

“Wait! Barry wait!” she shouted, and it was almost comical how fast the human appeared back in the room, it clear that he had not managed to go far yet.

“Yeah?” he asked, and Lup shook her head, that disbelief still there. She didn’t look enraged anymore though, instead just about as smitten as Barry clearly was.

Before either of them could say anything else the whole building shuddered violently again. It was becoming painfully clear how much time they were wasting. The stuttering thudding had been picking up pace as time passed, and it was getting rather rapid now.

“Taako! We have to go get Taako,” Lup shouted, and Kravitz didn’t bother thinking about the implications of working alongside a lich and a necromancer. It was like Barry said, they could figure it all out once they were out of here. They just needed to focus on saving Taako first.

“Where are they keeping him?” he asked, and Lup was already at the move. He could keep up a bit better than Barry, but even the human was pushing himself against all signs of exhaustion that should have been there.

“He said it was some- some sort of large cylinder chamber, probably near the center,” she explained. It was hard to tell what was the center of a place like this, but as far as he could tell Lup’s way around this was to blast through every barrier that got in their way. So far, it seemed to be doing a pretty good job.

Kravitz could tell they were in the right place when the other two liches shows up again, and he had thought they had been angry before. They looked downright furious now, and there was something else there too. Something off, like their forms weren’t quite as stable as they had been a moment ago. Not enough for him to even put proper words to it, they weren’t all bones and raging fire like Lup was. But there was a decided unnatural twist in them now that was as unsettling as it was terrible.

“You’re going to regret this,” the female lich said, and Lup had her arms held out to her sides now, flames starting to lick up from charred black bones.

“You chose  _ wrong. _ You lost! Give me back my brother,” she shouted, but the liches didn’t seem swayed.

“Sorry, you still don’t understand how this  _ works, _ do you? The dealer never loses,” the male lich said, and that was when Kravitz noticed the shadow over them. Barry notice at about the same time, conjuring up a large spectral hand to halt the beam’s fall before it could crush them. He didn’t have to keep it there for long, Lup blasting it back with a shockwave of power before turning back towards the liches.

“He’s in there! He has to be! I’ll keep them busy, I can’t go in, it’ll destroy me! Get him out,” she shouted, rushing at them with a flurry of magic. Kravitz didn’t have to be told twice, charging towards the only notable form in the giant space they had found themselves in.

It was a large, cylindrical structure, which matched the description Taako had apparently given. Barry was running on his heels, and Kravitz hadn’t even noticed for a moment that he was protecting them with his magic. Arcane blasts deflected debris and even a few direct attacks from the two rulers of Wonderland as they battled with Lup above them. Kravitz couldn’t pay too much attention to the fight, but he could tell that Lup was at the very least not on the ropes.

It took longer to reach the walls of that large structure than he would have liked, having to weave between blasts of magic, even stopping at some points to weird off an attack before Lup could pull them away again. When he finally did he started banging on the walls with his fists, trying desperately to find some sort of entrance. As far as he could tell though, there was nothing.

“How do we get in?” Barry asked, cursing under his breath and throwing up some sort of arcane shield to ward off a necrotic blast that came shooting at them.

“I don’t- I don’t know. Taako! Taako can you hear us?” he shouted, slamming his shoulder into the wall to try to break it down. It didn’t seem to do anything, and when he tried again he heard a loud, metallic crunch as his shoulder began to buckle in on itself.

“Damn it. Stand back Krav,” Barry said, and as much as Kravitz wanted to keep trying to get through this thing he did as he was told, trusting that the human had a plan. That seemed to be the case, Barry muttering a sharp incantation under his breath. A slickly green glow formed around his hand and congealed as he pointed towards the wall, shooting off in a bright beam.

The hole was small at first, but it quickly started to spread out in small cracks, still glowing with that pale green light. It was hard to see though, once the smallest crack formed in the wall the whole area was cast in a near overwhelming red, which only got brighter as the wall started to come down.

Two things happened simultaneously at that moment.

Behind Kravitz there was a scream that almost made him understand what the phrase ‘bloodcurdling’ meant. He didn’t have blood, and he couldn’t remember what it was like to have blood, but the shriek from the lich was as if the world was being destroyed. He didn’t have time to look back and see what had happened, he had been too focused on the wall to know what had caused it. From the way that the scream rather suddenly cut off though, he could make something of a guess. He was just relieved it wasn't Lup's voice wailing like that.

The other thing that happened at that moment was the wall crumbling in front of them in a massive heap, sending dust and debris flying. The red light inside was so bright it was nearly blinding, and that compared with the dust made it hard to take in the sight for a moment.

“Taako!” he shouted again, and when the dust started to settle he could finally see inside.

Kravitz could see him, crumpled on the ground against the far wall, red bolts of terrifying arcane energy drawn to him in waves. His first instinct was to run inside, to grab him and get him to safety, but the swell of power inside pushed him back.

“Shit, Taako!” Lup cried, and the lich shooting over towards them pretty much confirmed his suspicion that the fight had been won. Later, if he managed to get out of this he could wonder about the strength she had to be able to fight two liches on her own. To not only survive the fight but to win, when she had been locked away for what had to be years and having nearly broken down only moments ago.

“Stop! Lup stop, it’ll destroy you!” Barry shouted, moving between her and the strange, draining chamber. Kravitz was certain that if she wanted to she could throw him aside with a ragdoll, or at the very least move her spectral form right through him. She heeded his warning though, still reaching out towards her brother in a desperate motion.

Around them, the growing instability of Wonderland was increasing at a rapid pace. With the liches destroyed he doubted a place this twisted would be able to hold itself together for much longer. They didn’t have a lot of time.

“I’m not leaving him!” she shouted.

It wasn’t a difficult decision. The only thing Kravitz wasn’t sure about was why it had taken him so long to get moving in the first place.

Maybe he should have said something. Asked Barry to give some message to Taako, to his mother, just in case he didn’t come back. The crack in his core had only gotten worse, a veritable spiderweb running along one side, and even though Kravitz couldn’t feel he could sense the incredible, nauseating amount of necrotic energy in the room in front of him.

He didn’t end up doing any of that though, he didn’t have the time. Instead he dashed forward, calling Taako’s name again while Lup and Barry were distracted figuring out a safe way to extract him. From the energy that was coming off of Taako, he didn’t know what those liches had wanted this chamber for, but he knew that he wouldn’t last much longer.

Every time one of those bright blasts of arcane magic slammed into him it was like it was turning another part of his construct off, whole parts of his self feeling completely blinded. He ignored it, kept moving until he managed to reach Taako.

Picking him up was painful. It was the only way he could describe it. So many beams of that arcane were leaches into Taako, and each one shot into him as he hefted the elf unceremoniously off of the ground. It was hard to tell if he was conscious or not, but it was hard to tell much of anything. He could feel his construct shutting off, he could feel it  _ burning _ around him.

All he could see at this point was red, and he was unsure if it was from the room or whatever the energy pouring into him was doing to his construct. Over the crashes and bursts and buzzing he could hear voices still. Could hear Barry and Lup calling out to them, sounding terrified, and he forced himself to move in the direction of those voices.

Maybe the real decisive aspect of having a soul was the ability to be very,  _ very _ stubborn.

He couldn’t tell how far he had gone, every so often another bolt jolting into him. The only thing he could think of was moving his feet towards the voices in front of him, and holding Taako as tight to his chest as he could manage.

It felt like an eternity when he finally felt something grab onto him, yanking him over the broken rubble at the bottom of the hole they’d blasted into the wall. His arms dropped at this point, but he trusted that Lup or Barry would be there to catch Taako. They could get him out of here, get him some help.

And now that Taako was safe, the stubborn determination that had kept him moving forward was quickly drying up. He could feel what little connection he had to this construct fading, the form too damaged to keep working.

There was a brief, terrifying moment of clarify where Kravitz wondered if this was what dying was like.

And then darkness.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> We're In It Now 
> 
> as always, thanks for reading and i hope you enjoyed!


	28. Sinking Reality

Taako was pretty sure he was dying. He could hear people calling for him, and he was certain they were fake. He felt someone pick him up, hard metallic arms holding him too tight and he hated that his brain saw fit to trick him one more time with some sweet delusion.

And then he was falling, something catching him before he hit the floor, or maybe he was floating now, it was hard to tell.

The fog cleared somewhat when something bitter was shoved into his mouth, nearly choking him as he instinctively swallowed the liquid to keep from dying. He still felt like he was falling apart at the seams, like every inch of his body had been set on fire and slow roasted with spiked mallets, but he could cough, and sit up, and actually open his eyes enough to focus on what was in front of him.

And it was hard to trust if it was real. It felt impossible seeing Barry, staring at him terrified with an empty potion bottle in his hands. Seeing Lup, unmistakable even as a glowing, burning lich. It was too good to be true, and if it was it probably meant he was dead.

And then he saw Kravitz’s crumpled form behind them, laying mostly in the rubble of a giant hole that was blasted in that cursed place he’d been trapped in. It was hard to tell it was him at first, the perfect metal structure he was used to a broken, partially melted mess. His cloak was burned away in places, the feathers all but melted and destroyed. The sapphires that had made up his eyes were dull, no longer glowing with that soft blue light that Taako had grown used to.

If it wasn’t for the flickering, cracked core in his center, still shining a feeble blue light, he might not have realized it was him at all.

Suddenly all of this had to be true, because that sight was worse than anything those two assholes could have cooked up.

“What- what happened?” he asked, his voice raspy, his lungs still feeling like they were full of smoke and flames.

“We’ll explain later bud, we gotta go,” Barry said, grabbing his shoulder and keeping him steady as he dissolved into a fit of coughing. As he started to grain more of his sense he could feel that it wasn’t just him that was shaking now, for certain this time. It felt like the whole world was collapsing around them, and he could barely hear himself think over the crashes around them. When he looked up, the arcane shocks in that room were all meeting in the middle now, the light in the center starting to grow brighter and brighter. Whatever they were trying to do in there wasn’t reacting well to not having something to draw power from.

“Kravitz,” he managed, because he wasn’t leaving him. It wasn’t an option. Lup and Barry shared a look, and he could tell that something was wrong.

“I can’t- I don’t know if I have enough juice for all of us, and he's not....” Lup said, and he hadn’t noticed at first. It was hard to tell with how blurry his eyesight still was, but she looked bad. She was holding it together, but they needed to get the fuck away from here.

“No, it’s- move,” he said, and he forced himself to crawl over to Kravitz’s form. The construct was in rough shape, but it was even worse when he saw his core. The outside had cracked, and the soft blue glow inside was disrupted every so often by a red burst of lightning.

He didn’t give a shit though. They could figure out how to fix it later, they just needed to get out of here.

It was surprisingly easy to curl his fingers around the core and pull it loose. He had no doubt that the damage his construct had taken helped with that some, which was probably the only good thing about all of this. Taako wasn’t sure he would have had the strength to pull it free otherwise.

“Okay, let’s go,” he managed to croak out, holding the core tight to his chest. Lup nodded this time, and even though he couldn’t quite feel her spectral hand when it clasped onto his shoulder he still felt near tears at the proof of having his sister back. For real this time.

The teleportation was quick, and Taako immediately collapsed again when they were out. The cool night air hit him, and he wondered how long they had been in that terrible place for.

He wished he had more energy for a reunion. When Lup wrapped her arms around him, shaking with tearless sobs all he could do was lean against her. Probably phasing somewhat through her, not that he could give a shit about something like that right now.

Taako had no idea how long they ended up laying there for, but the sun was starting to rise again by the time enough of his energy was back for him to properly sit up. He was pretty sure he’d actually passed out one or two times, but after all that they’d fucking earned some sleep.

“So this… all this is real, right?” he asked, and Lup looked just as flabbergasted as he felt when she nodded.

“I think so,” she said, sounding hesitant even as she was leaning against Barry as much as she could, who also looked exhausted and beat all to hell. It was surreal, seeing them both again. Remembering them again, remembering everything.

Looking down at the core still in his arms, he hadn’t put it down since he pulled it from Kravitz’s crumbled form. It still looked the same as well, a dull blue light with occasional shocks of red energy running through it.

“It’s real,” he muttered. If this was some trick, some final attempt at placating him, or hell even his mind trying to escape into some fantasy, then Kravitz would be here. Plain and simple. “What… what happened?” he asked, feeling sick to his stomach at the question but needing to know.

“I don’t know the full story. I just… after your message that asshole Edward came, and well,” she made a slashing motion across her neck, and Taako winced. Even if they were all together now, his fuck up had still gotten his sister killed. “They were pretty pissed when they realized I was the lich though, not you. Barry and that con- uh, Kravitz I guess, shows up and helped me get to you. He’s the one who got you out,” she explained, and that was about what Taako had been able to piece together.

It still felt like a knife in his chest, and his shoulders slumped as he held the core tighter.

“So it’s my fault,” he muttered, and the confusion on the other’s faces were clear.

“What are you talking about Taako? None of this is your fault,” Barry said, but Taako shook his head sharply at that. It made the world spin a little, but he couldn’t give a shit about that.

“Of course it is! I couldn’t get the charm off of him, so he fucking followed me in there and  _ this _ happened,” he said, trying not to squeeze the core too tightly. He didn’t want to aggravate the cracks any worse than they already were. When he chanced looking over at Lup and Barry, it was clear that his sister was pretty damn lost on what was going on, and yeah they were gonna have to fill her in on a lot there. Barry was shaking his head though.

“That’s not… the curse dropped Taako. That’s how they were able to get you in the first place, Kravitz wasn’t compelled to watch you anymore,” he said softly, and Taako froze at that.

“…what the fuck are you talking about?” he asked slowly, because that didn’t make any  _ sense. _

“Kravitz told me, it dropped maybe a week, two weeks ago?” he said, and it was getting hard for Taako to breathe again, but he was pretty sure it wasn’t from any of his injuries.

“Then what the fuck was he sticking around for?! Why the hell would he go into a place like that and completely destroy his body trying to get me out!?” he shouted, hating the way his voice was shaking, the way he had to blink rapidly to try to fight back tears. Barry looked conflicted for a moment, like he wasn’t sure if it was his place to say or not. Then his eyes flicked towards the ball still held in Taako’s arms and he seemed to make up his mind.

“I mean, he was pretty decidedly in love with you Taako,” he said gently, like he was afraid of scaring him with that statement. Maybe he was right to think that, because Taako started shaking his head immediately. That couldn’t be right, it  _ couldn’t.  _ It wasn’t  _ fair. _

“No, that- that’s bullshit,” he said, and he wished Barry stopped looking at him like that. He wished they both would stop with those tragic looks.

“Taako, I’m so fucking sorry,” Barry said, but Taako quickly shook his head because he wasn’t having this shit.

“No, no shut up,” he said, and when he looked at Lup and Barry all he wanted to do was rest and never let them leave his sight again. He couldn’t believe how long he’d gone without them, without even a clear memory of them. He hadn’t realized how fucking empty he was until now, and the thought of going without his heart again was unthinkable.

And then he would look down at the sphere resting silently in his arms, and the heart he finally had back felt like it was crumbling to pieces.

“I need- I need to take him home,” he choked out. He could tell they were confused, could feel their protests coming on, so he quickly continued. “I promised him I would make sure he got back to the palace, alright? He’d the only reason I’m still up and kicking right now, I’m gonna hold up my end of the deal,” he added.

“But is there, ya know… even anything to take back, at this point?” Barry asked, and Taako could understand the question. He was real fucking thankful for all the tidbits Kravitz had given him about how the constructs worked, and even more thankful that he’d actually bothered to listen.

“Yeah it’s- he told me how it works. You can replace the construct as long as the core’s intact,” he said, and he didn’t like the cracks running through it, hated the red bolts of light that would flash even less, but he wasn’t going to write Kravitz off just because of that. “He said as long as the core got out the Queen should be able to fix it, so I’m going to take him back and make her fucking  _ fix this,” _ he finished.

Lup and Barry were quiet for a moment, and he probably would have been able to tell what they were thinking a bit better if his brain wasn’t still fried. As it was he was relieved as fuck when they nodded.

“Yeah, whatever you need bro,” Lup said, reaching over and placing a spectral hand over his. “But just, maybe we should take the day? To rest?” she asked, and a little reluctantly Taako nodded. The only reason he was agreeing was because he was pretty sure if he tried to go now he’d end up collapsing before he even got halfway there. He would have even cared much about that, but he needed to be coherent to try and explain everything to the Queen.

Plus, Kravitz would probably berate him if he tried to do anything in the state he was in now, but he was trying not to think too hard about that one or else his eyes started to sting.

They ended up hobbling their way to the nearest town, and Lup made herself invisible as they got a room at the first inn they saw. As soon as he was within spitting distance of the bed Taako collapsed down into it. The only thing he was careful about was Kravitz’s core, which he still wasn’t letting go. He probably could at this point, set it up surrounded in blankets or something so that it didn’t roll off and get any more damaged, but he didn’t particularly want to.

They got some food, and it was shitty but Taako was fucking starving. He shoved as much as he could into his mouth before collapsing down. They would talk here and there, but mostly it was an exhausted, comfortable quiet until Taako started to drift to sleep.

Even as fucking exhausted as he was sleep ended up being fitful. He would toss and turn and every time that sphere drifted too far from his arms he would jolt awake in fear. In terror that he was still in that place, and everything else had been something between a dream come true and a nightmare. Even pinching himself and deeply breathing in the smell of the cheap inn sheets only did so much to reassure him it wasn’t all some elaborate illusion.

He wasn’t sure how late it was when he ended up jolting up with a start. He was pretty sure he’d actually been out cold that time, at least enough to dream. Looking around he tried to tell himself that it was just a dream. He wasn’t back in that fucking place. Closing his eyes, he held Kravitz’s core a bit tighter to his chest.

It was going to suck, giving it up tomorrow. It would be worth it though, to get him fixed. Still, it would probably mean saying goodbye for good, and he didn’t-

He would have at least liked for Kravitz to be able to say goodbye back.

“Hey,” Lup said softly, pulling Taako out of his thoughts. From the look of it Barry was still asleep, and his sister floated over to where she was sort of pretending to sit on the edge of his bed. It was strange, he’d never actually seen her as a lich before. They were both hoping that it wouldn’t be for decades, maybe even centuries until something like this happened.

“Sup,” Taako said back, and he tried to chalk up how hoarse his voice sounded to the beating he’d taken earlier. It was mostly that at least.

“I just… I keep thinking this is all another illusion,” Lup said, and Taako nodded. It was rough for him, and he’d only been in there for a few days. He couldn’t imagine how fucking impossible this felt for her.

“Same, but it’s not, right? This is the real shit,” he said, and Lup’s lich form nodded, still an air of disbelief around her. It was quiet for a moment then, and maybe he should be trying to get back to sleep, but at that moment all he wanted to do was sit with his sister for a minute.

“Taako?” Lup asked quietly, breaking the silence. He hummed instead of giving any proper answer, and she took the sign to go on. “Your friend, Kravitz. Wasn’t exactly what I was expecting,” she said, and Taako snorted at that fucking understatement. “What’s the story there?”

“I mean, what’s there to say? He was a construct that I cast a spell on to protect me from some mugger. Couldn’t figure out how to undo it, we traveled around for a bit while he started to develop a soul and learn how to be alive, then I ended up falling in love with him. Pretty standard stuff,” he said, and it was the first time he actually said it out loud like that, straight up admitting it. At this point it seemed stupid not to, and there wasn’t a single thing he wanted to keep from Lup right now anyway.

“I didn’t exactly get a chance to chat with him,” Lup said, and that was fair. He still didn’t know everything that went down getting him out of there, he could imagine how fucking hectic it was. “But he’s the only reason I didn’t kill Barry the second I saw him. So I owe him…  _ everything,” _ she said, somehow managing to convey the weight of the world in that one word. Taako could understand why too.

They must’ve been counting on her to kill him. After all the years of torture they put his face to, it would have been instinct.

And as soon as she realized what she’d done, it would have been over. Whatever tether she had would have shattered, and neither of them would be here now.

“I’m gonna make sure she saves him,” he said, and he didn’t care what it took. If the Queen couldn’t do it he’d figure it out how his own damn self, but he wasn’t going to let this be the end of him.

“Whatever you need bro, just know we’re both here for you,” Lup said, and he nodded, because he did. He might have forgotten for a bit, but he knew now.

“What was that, anyway?” he asked, and he knew he was jumping topics, but he was sleepy and Lup was always able to follow his logic. “I think I was hit with… some sort of feeblemind, when we were first separated. But it had started to come back, so why did I keep forgetting you?” he asked, and he could see Lup thinking about that.

“I think… I think it was me,” she said after a long stretch. “My mind was deteriorating in there. I think it was leaking through to you with our connection, everything they were doing to me,” she explained.

“Huh,” Taako said, trying not to shudder at the thought of what she had gone through in there, if he was only getting the after effects. It made as much sense as anything right now though. After a minute Lup reached over and put a spectral hand on his shoulder.

“You should try and get some more sleep bro,” she said, and he nodded. He knew she was right, even if sleep felt impossible.

“Right, goodnight Lup,” he said, laying back down.

“Night Taako,” she said, and it was hard to believe he was actually hearing her voice saying that again after so long.

He managed to get a bit more sleep that night, despite everything. They slept in late, and part of Taako wanted to get up as early as possible to head back to the palace for Kravitz, but his body just wasn’t permitting anything like that. He told himself Kravitz would understand, even if he had never been the most patient person.

Once they were awake though they got breakfast, eating it in their room since Lup wasn’t exactly in a state to go wandering about town. He almost felt like a person again, not quite, he probably wouldn’t fully for a while, but he no longer felt like he was actively dying.

“So, what’s the plan?” Barry asked, and it was a good question. Taako hadn’t thought much about it past getting Kravitz back to the palace and demanding the Queen fix him.

“I’m gonna take Kravitz’ back to the palace and demand the Queen fix him,” he said, and he couldn’t blame Barry too much for not looking overly thrilled by that plan.

“Okay but I can’t- well, I can’t go with you Taako. I kinda broke out of the stockade when I was there with Kravitz,” he said, and Taako sat up straighter at that. It didn’t look like Barry was pulling his leg, he mostly seemed exhausted and like this was something he was trying to figure out a workaround for all night.

“Wait, what do you mean? You mean when you stole those books?” he asked, and Barry shook his head. Which, okay, it made sense why he’d been looking for something on liches now, with Lup. Yeah, he couldn’t imagine Kravitz was too happy with that. There was no fucking way he was ever going to want to talk to him again after this, but that somehow wasn’t making him want to save him any less.

“No uh, after you were captured. We went to the palace to try and get help, and the Queen was willing to work with us but they still threw me in jail because of uh, all the crimes. Kravitz decided her plan of attack would take too long though, bust me out, and we just went and got you ourselves,” he said, and there was a part of Taako that was sure it had to be a lie. That there was no way that Kravitz would go back to the palace, be home and free of his curse, and throw all that away to save him. It was exactly the kind of lie those liches would give him.

But he still had Kravitz’s core sitting secure in his lap, and he tried to ground himself on that. This was real, it was all real.

“I’ll just go on my own then,” he said, and yeah neither of them liked that plan. Again, he couldn’t blame them, but they didn’t really have much of a choice, did they?

“Ko, I just got you back, I’m not going to lose you again,” Lup said, and Taako could understand that. He was on the same fucking page, he couldn’t stand to think about a future where Lup wasn’t in it. He couldn’t before all of this happened and he sure as fuck couldn’t now.

“I know okay, I know. I just… I need to do this,” he said, and they still didn’t look anywhere near happy with that, and Taako sighed. “We’ll figure something out, alright? On the way,” he said, and reluctantly the others nodded. He didn’t have any idea on a solution yet, but they were all smart as fuck, they could think of something.

The trip did end up being long enough for them to hash out the details of a plan. If they were in top shape they could have gotten there a lot faster, but even Lup in her lich form was still feeling drained. Train was an option, and Barry had the money for it from shaking down the asshole who sold him to those lich twins in the first place, but they decided against it. It was for selfish reasons, he didn’t want Lup to have to hide any longer than she needed to.

And he wanted to spend a few moments longer with Kravitz, even if this barely counted, lugging around a ball that contained his soul.

It took two days to get back to Astral, and it was probably worth it to take it the slow way. He could basically pass for a person again, which would be important when trying to talk to the fucking queen. Lup was also starting to get her energy back, which would be useful as well.

It felt strange, being back here. Taako had never thought too much about this city before everything with Kravitz, and now that he was here it felt even more wrong that Kravitz was… indisposed. Walking towards the castle, they made sure to stick to an alley as they got everything ready.

He wasn’t sure if it was the same alley where he had met Kravitz. It felt like such a long time ago now, and the whole thing had honestly happened so fast. It felt weird to think about how such a random encounter has completely changed his life.

“You sure about this Ko?” Lup asked, and taking a deep breath, Taako nodded.

“Yeah, catch ya in a bit,” he said, hesitating only for a moment before heading out of the alley. Honestly, Taako wasn’t totally sure on the plan. Lup and Barry assured him they had a way to keep an eye on him though, and if he ended up getting thrown in jail or something Barry knew where the stockade was, so they would be able to get him out.

He was pretty sure there was something else going on though. He wasn’t sure what yet, but he knew that they had gone off from time to time. He didn’t know what they were talking about when they did, and maybe it was just catching up after the literal years they’d been apart, fuck knows they deserved the chance to. He couldn’t help but feel from the way they looked at him whenever they got back that it was something else.

Taako trusted them though, so he honestly wasn’t concerned about it. Instead he tried to focus on the task at hand, keeping his head high as he walked straight up to the front of the palace. Maybe it was a dumb plan, but trying to sneak in to see the Queen seemed like an even dumber one.

He wasn’t surprised when the guards at the front stopped him, it would have been kind of wild if they didn’t.

“State your business sir,” one of the guards said, and so far they weren’t threatening or anything like that. They were looking him over, probably confused by the glowing ball in his arms, but they weren’t clocking him as a threat yet.

“I need to talk to the Queen,” he said, and that didn’t seem to be the answer they were expecting. There was a clear moment where they were taken aback before finding the words to address his pretty damn ridiculous request.

“I’m sorry, as a safety precaution and due to time restraints from the Queen’s incredibly busy schedule that won’t be possible. If you have some grievance or something to report we can direct you to the appropriate channel,” he said, and yeah that wasn’t going to fly.

“Yeah no, I need to talk to her, like directly. I just got out of Wonderland, this here,” he said, holding up the core for a moment before pulling it back to his chest protectively, “is the core of the construct that saved me. I need to bring him back and I am not letting  _ anyone _ but the Queen fucking touch him, so let me see her,” he finished. There was a brief moment where the two guards looked at each other, and it was clear that  _ something _ he’d said must’ve made a mark.

"What is your name, sir?" one asked, a hesitant tone to his voice. Like he was expecting a specific answer from him, although Taako had no idea why.

"It's Taako," he said, and that somehow seemed to do it. The one guard nodded to the other, and the second started to head back towards the palace.

“If you would wait right here we will inform the Queen of this information and see what she sees fit,” he said, and Taako forced a smug grin to his face.

“Thank you,” he said.

The wait wasn’t as long as Taako expected, the other guard coming running back pretty damn fast. They were actually panting a little, like they were told to fucking book it.

“The um- the Queen is requesting your presence,” they said, and Taako blinked in surprise.

“Oh. Cool,” he said, and the other guard seemed almost as bewildered. The two started to lead Taako inside though, hands casually on their swords just in case. It was a little weird, he expected this to be a lot harder. Like, he’d been prepared to basically get arrested as long as it got him a chance to see the Queen, so this was a nice surprise.

When they got to the throne room Taako nearly stumbled at the sight of her, sitting up there on her throne, the picture of royalty. Barry was right, Kravitz looked  _ just like her. _

She was also setting him with a cold stare, and it was fucking impossible to tell was she was thinking. She didn’t seem happy though, her mouth drawn into a small frown, and it took a lot to make him feel small, but she was doing a pretty good job of it.

“I take it you are the one called Taako?” she asked, and it was only then that he noticed the small piece of paper she had in her hands. It was folded like a letter, and she wasn’t so much fidgeting with it as she was simply holding it carefully.

“Oh, you’ve uh, you’ve heard of me? That’s cool, that’s cool,” he said, and she nodded ever so slightly.

“I have,” she said, and there was a brief pause before she looked up towards the guards in the room. “Leave us.”

“Your majesty-” some of the guards started to protest, clearly not cool with this declaration, and Taako actually couldn’t blame them. This didn’t seem like the smartest move on her part.

“I said leave us,” she repeated, and that seemed to be enough to get everyone to listen. It was still clearly reluctant as fuck, but it wasn’t long before Taako was left alone in the throne room, staring up at the Queen. He felt like now was probably a good time to hold his tongue, just watching as she raised herself up from her throne.

“Now,” she said, and as she walked closer he could see that the hands holding that letter were trembling.

“What have you done with my son?”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> we are _so close_ y'all. Can't think of anything else to say other than I greatly appreciate y'all who've been reading so far, this is definitely one of my favorite, if not my absolute favorite fic i've ever written 
> 
> as always, thanks for reading and i hope you enjoyed!


	29. Hoping

Taako felt like he was probably taking too long to respond to that one. He’d had a whole plan when he came here, and sure he thought it would take a few more steps to actually get in front of the Queen, but until now he thought he could still go through with it. Now it felt like all of that was thrown off the rails as he stared at the Queen and tried to figure out how serious she was.

From the pain and rage in her eyes, he would take a guess at her being pretty damn serious.

“Is- is that something you call all your constructs, or is Kravitz special?” he still ended up asking once his words were back in order. It felt like a stupid question to ask, because of course Kravitz was special, Taako couldn’t imagine another person like Kravitz, construct or not. It still felt like something he should make sure of though.

“He didn’t tell you?” the Queen asked back, and that was a pretty solid answer. Taako shook his head, and this had to be new information. There was no way Kravitz wouldn’t have mentioned it if he knew when they were traveling together. He straight up  _ said _ that the Queen wasn’t his mom in fact.

That proved what Barry had said though, that they actually had come back to the palace. That Kravitz was  _ home _ and he still decided to come back and save Taako’s ass.

“No, we didn’t exactly have a chance to talk. He… he collapsed before I even woke up when he saved me,” he said, and it was harder to talk about than Taako expected. He wasn’t sure why he thought it would be easy, but he was usually so good at detaching himself from shit. It had been a rough couple of days though, so he could blame it on that. Some of that impassive disapproval from the Queen seemed to soften as he explained though, and she nodded.

“I see,” she said, and her eyes were fixed on the softly glowing sphere still resting carefully in his arms. He knew he was going to have to hand it over soon, but he was still dreading it.

She would fix him though, and that was the most important thing. It didn’t matter if he never fucking saw Kravitz again as long as he could be sure that he was out there and happy.

“In every way that matters Kravitz is my son. Years ago my child had perished, and although I had not realized it at the time a fraction of his soul lived on in a construct I had created in his memory. I might never have known if you had not come into the picture,” she said, and Taako genuinely couldn’t tell if she was angry about that or not.

His grip on the sphere still close to his chest tightened, and maybe he should have been shocked by this information. Maybe this should come as some grand reveal, an impossibility he never saw coming.

“I fucking knew it,” he ended up blurting out instead, because he couldn’t bring himself to be shocked. Nothing anyone could say about Kravitz’s value as a person could be new to him, not after what he’d seen. Not after falling in love with the dork. Still, that reaction definitely seemed to be a surprise for the Queen. She raised an eyebrow, an almost curious look on her face.

“Excuse me?” she asked and right, he was in front of royalty. He was also in front of Kravitz’s mom, and now that he was thinking about it like  _ that  _ he wasn’t sure which was more terrifying if he was being honest.

“Just- Kravitz was always going on about how he wasn’t a real person. I told him it was bullshit, cause like, how the fuck do you consider someone not alive who has a favorite song? Or likes shitty romance novels, or who asks about your dreams and misses his home and is so passionate and petty and- and you get my point," he paused at that, realizing he was getting off track. "He only started coming around to the idea once he started casting magic. Kept insisting you weren’t his mom too. Even though he was always talking about you like you were,” he finished, hopefully not digging himself even deeper into this hole. The Queen started to smile after a moment though, but there was pretty obviously a saddened tint to it.

“Is that so?” she asked, and all Taako nodded.

“Yeah, it’s- if I might be honest, your Queenliness?” he continued, not waiting for an answer. “I don’t give a shit  _ where _ Kravitz’s soul came from, if he always had it or he developed it over time or what. He’s important no matter how you cut it and I need- he needs your help,” he begged. The Queen’s smile faded some as she nodded, and Taako stayed where he was as she turned around and headed back to sit on her throne. She still had an air about her of someone he absolutely did not want to fuck with, but she also looked fucking tired. And sad.

“I understand you said that you were unconscious when Kravitz was damaged, but anything you can tell me about what happened in there…” she said, and he quickly nodded. There was no reason to keep most of it a secret, and anything he could say that might help her fix him he was going to give in a heartbeat.

“I know they put me in some sort of room that was supposed to drain me of all the fucking magic in my body and then some. It was some pretty gnarly necromantic shit,” he started, the Queen listening intently. He paused some at the next part, not sure how much might be too much to give away. “I… I think it was designed to drain a lich’s power. I’m not a lich! I’m not a lich, I swear, so I think it wasn’t going great with me in there. I remember some energy beams, or something, whatever was draining me. I think, well no, there was no fucking way he wasn’t hit by them while he got me out. Then there was just like, fighting the liches who ran Wonderland and breaking down the wall and all that junk,” he said, and when he looked back down at the sphere in his hands a red crackle of energy shot through it.

“I see,” the Queen said, standing up and walking over to Taako again. There wasn’t that intimidation factor that she’d been channeling before, but it was still hard for Taako to resist pulling the sphere away from her when she reached over and placed a hand on it. He managed to hold himself in place though, because this was for the best. He sure as fuck didn’t have the right to keep Kravitz away from her, even if it wasn’t the only way to fix him. He would want to be back with his family.

“He uh, he explained how the whole construct thing works to me, at least some of it. Main point is he said that as long as his core was good you could fix him up a new construct and he’d be right as rain,” he said. It was near impossible to tell what she was thinking as she inspected the sphere. “So uh, can you do it?” he asked softly, and there was a long pause. Much longer than he was comfortable with.

“I’m sorry,” she said finally, and Taako could feel his heart begin to sink down into his stomach. “His core is damaged, I fear for the kind of effects that the necrotic damage he’s sustained could have done to his freshly reformed soul,” she said, and before she could even finish Taako was shaking his head. This wasn’t what he was expecting, and he couldn’t fucking stand for it.

“What- what do you mean by that? So you’re not going to even  _ try? _ Because you’re afraid there  _ might _ be some side effects?” he asked, his voice raising in pitch as he continued, and it probably wasn’t a smart idea to start shouting at the Queen. There were definitely guards standing right outside, but Taako was finding it hard to care about that. The Queen shook her had though, and at the very least she had the decency to look upset about all of this.

“That is not it. Regardless of the dark magic used against him, I do not have the power to restore him without risking his being,” she said, pain in her voice. Taako paused, maybe holding the core a bit tighter to his chest in the process.

“How so?” he asked, suspicion clear in his voice. There had to be something more to this, they had to have some sort of workaround.

“My soul was not the one used to create this construct, and all that remains of that soul on this plane is inside of that core. If I was to attempt to repair him as I would with another construct I risk my own soul overpowering his, and with how damaged it already is…” she trailed off, but Taako got the picture.

“But…” he said shakily, and the Queen looked truly heartbroken as she shook her head.

“My son died many years ago. As unaware as I was of the true extent of the situation it was wrong of me to keep him bound to this world for so long. I’m afraid that the best we can do for him now is to let him go,” she said, and it was hard to tell if she really believed that or if she was forcing herself to. Either way Taako didn’t give a shit.

“Fuck that!” he shouted, pulling back from the Queen, turning so that he was shielding Kravitz’s core from her. He didn’t think she would just take a cheap shot at it or anything like that, but he couldn’t be too careful.

“You must understand I do not wish this either,” she said, and he shook his head. There wasn’t a force on this planet that could make him ‘understand’ this.

“I’m not going to let you kill him just as he started to figure out what being alive is like! I promised him I’d get him home and I’m gonna do that, whether you help or not,” he snapped. Maybe there were tears in his eyes at this point, but he tried to convince himself they were from anger more than anything else. 

“That’s not-” the Queen started, her mouth snapping shut as she seemed to lose her words. Taako was still watching her with suspicion as she seemed to take a deep breath, an obvious attempt at bringing herself back under control. He couldn’t imagine this was a fun conversation to be having with some complete stranger, mostly because he wasn’t having fun either, and in his case the stranger had the power to try to throw him in jail for the rest of his natural life.

Still, he could imagine this stung from her end too. Knowing some complete stranger got the chance to know her son better than she ever had.

“I’m sorry, but it is the only option we have,” she said, a note of finality in her voice. Taako wanted to keep arguing, but he didn’t know what he could even say. He sure as fuck didn’t have another idea on how to fix Kravitz. He didn’t know how these things worked, not like the Queen did, and he already was so damaged.

Looking down at the lightly flashing core, it felt like the heart he had only just gotten back was already breaking into pieces.

“Actually, it’s not the only option.”

“Holy fuck!” Taako shouted, jumping and only by strength of will alone managing not to throw the only thing available for throwing, Kravitz’s core, straight at Barry’s head. “Give a little warning next time! I don’t need a heart attack on top of everything else right now,” he chastised, and Lup was floating next to him. It happened fast enough that it didn’t occur to Taako how bad this was until the Queen spoke.

“What is the meaning of this? How did you get in here?” she asked, and Taako had thought she was scary before. She was practically bristling, poised to attack and glaring daggers at Lup and Barry. At least the two seemed pretty prepared for this response, quickly putting up their hands in surrender, and sure, that didn’t mean much in Lup’s case. She was a lich, and the Queen could clearly tell that, could see what a fucking danger someone like her could be. Honestly, the fact that she hadn’t attacked or called for her guards yet was way more lenience that Taako would have ever expected.

“We’re real sorry for startling you your majesty, but uh, hi. Me again,” Barry said, and Taako couldn’t quite suppress a groan while the Queen narrowed her eyes. He seemed to get the point pretty quick, continuing. “I promise, we’re just here to help,” he said. It was clear that the Queen wasn’t ready to accept that at face value, and Taako almost couldn’t blame her. This wasn’t the best look.

“You break out of the stockade only to come into my throne room unannounced, bring a  _ lich, _ and refuse to return the only remains left of my son, and you expect me to trust you?” she growled, and Taako could feel himself getting defensive at that.

“I’m not giving him back because you want to kill him!” he snapped, Barry quickly shushing him as the Queen turned her glare onto him.

“Kravitz broke me out. I won’t pretend that I didn’t go along with it willingly, but he’s the one who made that decision. It was his choice to sacrifice himself so that  _ all _ of us could get out of that place,” Barry spoke up before she could say anything else. That at least seemed to give her enough pause for him to continue without this devolving into a flat out argument. “This is Lup, my fiancé and Taako’s sister. I think between the two of us we could find a way to save Kravitz. At the very least, we can try,” he finished.

To say the Queen still looked skeptical would be a bit of an understatement. She looked almost more pissed at the idea than she had before.

“And why would I let a lich and a necromancer experiment with what little remains of my child’s soul,” she said harshly. As much as Taako wanted to argue, he was pretty sure the best bet for right now was for him to keep his mouth shut.

“With all respect your majesty, it kind of sounds like you went and did the same thing yourself already,” Lup said. Which okay, maybe he wasn’t the only one who should keep his mouth shut. That didn’t seem to go over all that well, an enraged look on the Queen’s face.

“What did you say?” she asked, her voice low and dangerous. It didn’t seem to bother Lup all that much though, but considering the shit she’d just went through he supposed that made sense. Still, definitely not a great start.

“You admitted that something you did with his soul ended up creating a construct, and you didn’t even realize what you did at the time. I’m not saying it was wrong of you, but if that’s not an experiment then I don’t know what is. At least this time we could be sure to know exactly what was going on,” she said, and the Queen continued to look indignant at the suggestion.

“You do not know what you are talking about lich,” she insisted, the word lich sounding like a curse in her voice, and it was almost kind of funny. People always expected Lup to be the hothead out of the two of them, and she certainly wasn’t timid or anything like that. She could get a righteous rage unlike Taako had ever seen before, but it wasn’t a constant thing. It wasn’t even uncontrollable, like how Taako often felt whenever he got well and truly pissed.

Most people who didn’t know Lup would expect her to get angry in this situation. Taako might have even expected it if he wasn’t finally able to remember everything now. He could though, so he wasn’t surprised by the way she was floating placidly in front of the Queen, the clear distrust and disgust not phasing her.

“I think I do though,” Lup said, and before the Queen could argue with her she continued. “I get that it’s a bad look, but I didn’t become a lich for power or anything like that. I mean, it’s a nice bonus sure, but all I really wanted was to make sure I wouldn’t be separated from my brother,” she said, and it was hard to tell her emotions as a lich. It was going to take some getting used to, but even with this form Taako could see her shoulders droop, see the weight that blanketed her form as she spoke.

“But it backfired. Even though we did everything right, made sure that no one but ourselves could possibly be harmed in the process, figured it all out, we still ended up getting separated. I still had to spend… years away from him,” she said. It was only as she paused that Taako realized she probably didn’t even know how long she’d been gone, not exactly.

“So I get it, okay? I know what it’s like to try everything you can to keep your family safe only for it to fuck up. I know what it’s like to lose all hope that you’ll ever get them back, and I know the kind of indescribable  _ hell _ that losing yourself to necromancy can lead to. I was stuck in it for what felt like an eternity before Barry and Kravitz managed to burst in there and get us both out.” She was looking at the Queen dead in the eyes now, a softness and seriousness there that was hard to put into words. "I would have lost myself to it forever, but your son just happened to be in the right place at the right time to stop that. I owe him," she finished. The Queen was quiet for a long moment, and it was near about impossible to tell what she was thinking.

“If I was to even consider hearing you out how can you ensure to me that you will not betray me? That you won’t simply use this as an opportunity to gain more power?” the Queen asked, and that was a lot better than Taako was expecting if he was being honest. He could tell that Lup was perking up at the slightest lowering of the Queen’s walls. She glanced over at Barry, and Taako got a feeling this might have been something they discussed from the way he nodded.

“What if we stayed here?” Lup asked, and Taako was pretty sure that both him and the Queen had equal looks of surprise at that.

“What?” he asked, and the Queen had shifted her expression from surprised to suspicious.

“Are you offering yourself up as a prisoner?” she asked, and Taako was a little terrified until Lup shook her head. He wasn’t super afraid of Lup being caught somewhere again. He didn’t think she would let that ever happen again, especially not willingly. Still, he was pretty sure that if it somehow worked and whatever plan they had managed to fix Kravitz, he wouldn’t be happy about them tricking his mom.

It only occurred to him now that  _ this _ was what they had been going off and whispering about. A back up plan, in case the Queen wasn’t able to save Kravitz. He’d have to thank them for actually having enough forethought to consider that later, because he sure as fuck hadn’t.

“More like offering up our services, however you want them. The best way to fight something is to have people who know how it works from the inside out after all,” she said, giving a little shrug as glowing flame-like eyes seemed to slowly look over the Queen. “I figured that has to be your sort of philosophy, otherwise some of your little projects would be a touch hypocritical, ya know?” she said, and the Queen frowned slightly at that, setting Lup with a glare again. There was a long pause where Taako wasn’t sure if he should breathe or not. The queen glanced over at him for a moment before she seemed to make some sort of decision.

“Alright. I will agree to hear out your plan. I do not agree to go along with it, but I will hear it out and if possible perhaps we can… negotiate on some sort of agreement,” she finished. Taako let out a long breath of relief, and both Lup and Barry looked a lot more surprised that it had work than they had been letting on a few second before.

“Hell yeah, also no matter what happens if this works my bro’s sticking around too. He’s absolutely head over heals for this guy and I really didn’t get a chance to talk to him so I need to see what it’s all about,” she said, and Taako could feel his face heating up at that.

“That’s not- look, not important! I’m also in the dark about this mysterious plan of yours so if you could maybe fill me in on what you’ve got up your ghostly sleeves I’d love to hear it,” Taako huffed, both wanting to get off this particular topic and actually figure out if their plan would actually work.

Thankfully they didn’t keep him waiting in suspense, and Taako got a feeling that was for the best. Not only because he wouldn’t be able to stand waiting around, but also because the fact that the Queen was hearing them out was practically unheard of. There really wasn’t any need to push their luck by making her wait.

So he didn’t say anything, standing and listening as they detailed out the experimental sounding magic. As far as he could tell it seemed like it might be viable, but there was no way of knowing for sure until they tested it. No way to know if there was enough of Kravitz’s soul left, if it would even choose to manifest like that or not. If the undercurrent of necrotic magic still shooting around his soul would destroy any hope of it working or actually help out the process.

At this point though Taako was willing to try anything, no matter how slim the chance.

A little surprisingly, and after a few more hours of convincing (over which the guards had knocked several times in an increasingly desperate and worried manner, every time getting dismissed by the Queen) she also seemed to be on board.

It didn’t actually take too long to set up, and after some more arguing (and pointing out the fact that if Lup was going to be sticking around, it would look pretty bad for her to be a glowing, floating lich all the time) the Queen agreed to let them set up two pods. For Lup, she had managed to gather a bit of blood before leaving her body in wonderland, so they had that to go off of. It shouldn’t be any issue there.

Standing in front of the pod, Taako looked down at the sphere in his hands. There was no way to know if this would work, no way to know if this was even what Kravitz would want, but there wasn’t any other option. Not as far as Taako was concerned, he couldn’t leave him like this, and he couldn’t let him be destroyed.

“Hey, I uh, I don’t know if you can hear me in there,” he said, and there was certainly some relief in the fact that he was being left alone for this. The Queen didn’t trust them yet, but at the very least he’d made it clear that the only thing that mattered to him was getting Kravitz back.

“We don’t know if this is gonna work, but it’s the best shot we have at saving you. I guess I just want to say sorry, if you’re still in there somewhere and this isn’t what you want. I uh,” he paused, words getting choked in his throat, carefully and quickly wiping at his eyes. He’d been trying not to think about everything that happened, but now that he was here and the world had finally slowed down enough for him to actually think it was hard not to.

“I love you, and you know I’m only saying that because the chances of you not actually being able to hear anything in there are pretty high, but it’s the thought that counts, right? So just, I don’t know, make sure you survive this and come back and remember what I said so that you can lord it over my head or whatever. I don’t care at this point, I just miss you,” he said, and a part of him was hoping for some sort of sign. Anything that might indicate that he was still in there, that he could hear all of this and Taako wasn’t talking to empty air. 

There was nothing, and with a sigh he made his way up to the top of the tank. As carefully as he could he lowered the core down into the thick liquid inside, watching as it sunk to about halfway in the pod before coming to a halt. After a few seconds of standing there staring at it he closed off the top. And just like that it was done.

There was nothing left to do now but wait, and hope.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> we're at the penultimate chapter! oh shit i can't believe we've come so far so fast. I'm pretty sure that since chapter 5 I've been updating on a near weekly basis, which is unheard of for me. I'm so proud of this fic and am very glad to finish it up next week. I figure now is probably a good time to say there is most likely definitely going to be a sequel series to this fic, much more lighthearted and fluffy, cause I love this universe and I want to play around in some of the After parts. 
> 
> as always, thanks for reading and I hope you enjoyed!


	30. A Life To Construct

There was nothing, and Kravitz wasn’t sure how long that lasted for, or when that nothing switched over into _ something. _ It was gradual, so much so that he couldn’t be sure that it was even happening. He couldn’t be sure of anything, mostly because he wasn’t quite aware enough to think for a long time there.

It wasn’t complete nothingness anymore though, even if he couldn’t form conscious thoughts, couldn’t quite string words together into sentences in his mind yet. There was something else there. Sensations more than anything, which came slowly and sporadically.

It started with voices. Nothing clear enough that he could make out words, if words were even a thing he needed to be concerned with anymore, but voices nonetheless. It was hard to tell if they were muffled or far away or what, but they were all distorted. He couldn’t distinguish who the voices belonged to, but as time went on and the world started to get the slightest bit more solid around him he could make out at least two distinct ones that came often. Sometimes there were more, and even though he couldn’t place a source there was a distinct feeling of relief, of  _ happiness _ whenever they came around.

Even in whatever state he found himself, it wasn’t long before he began looking forward to hearing those voices. Well, look forward to them as much as he could do anything in the state he was in.

And for a long time that was the only real event of note, still lost in a mostly blank state of stasis. Stretches of nothing punctuated by whoever it was who came and spoke to him. To him? It was hard to say if the words were actually directed at him or not, and there was not much there for him to truly think about, since he couldn't understand them.

Thinking. That was something he was getting closer and closer to being able to do again. Again? Yes, again.

Even though he couldn't get the words, he could sometimes make out what passed as tone. Whoever it was that spoke to him, they usually sounded worried. Concerned. Quiet. There was a part of him that felt sad hearing that, that wanted to make these voices that offered him as much company as he could have happy. But there was nothing there but a pleasant haze and muffled words. 

When there finally was a change, something new starting to form, it was hard to place at first. It took a long time to figure out what these strange new sensations were, and when he was finally able to place something he wasn’t really sure how he knew for certain what they were. It was there though, as clear as anything.

A warmth, surrounded by a slight chill.

Time was still hard to perceive, but it was starting to feel like he was getting a better handle of it. Instead of falling into that nothingness between visits from the voices he found himself a little bit more aware as he waited for them to come back. He could start to feel a pulsing now, slow and steady and small, and he could almost keep track of time with the beats.

Even still, it seemed to go on so long that the time didn’t mean much all together, just in little bursts. The sensations kept coming, things he couldn’t ever remember feeling before but could identify after enough thought. Aches, the even coolness around him interrupted by the occasional blip of air rising up around him and brushing against him, something almost like breath, but not quite.

All of it was still within this strange, dreamlike state that he found himself in, where he wasn’t even sure if he was totally conscious. If he was even alive anymore or if this was simply what his existence had been reduced to. He wasn’t sure if he should be upset by that possibility or not, but it wasn’t like he could be while he was like this.

He didn’t know what it was exactly that spilled him over from that dreamlike state into a sharper awareness of the world around him. The feeling that had been like breathing but not quite suddenly started to get faster, and was had been a comfortable haze started to get replaced by something that soon made itself known as a pain. A sharp burning as he tried to take in… it wasn’t air. He didn’t know what it was, but he could feel himself starting to panic.

But that didn’t make sense, because he couldn’t breathe to begin with. He wasn’t alive, not like that.

Those thoughts, actual clear conscious thoughts for the first time in a long, pleasant haze weren’t doing anything to stop the pain he could still clearly feel. His body, or whatever this thing he was in right now started reacting on its own, starting moving instinctively, limbs trashing out around him.

He barely felt when he pieced something, a strange film clinging to what constituted as his arm as he effortlessly tore though it. He hadn’t even realized he’d been suspended until suddenly that weightlessness was gone. The liquid that had been choking him before rushed out around him, and he went with it, collapsing onto the hard ground.

His whole form was spasming, and he had heard these sorts of sounds before but it still took a long time to place what they were. It was hard to think of anything as everything was much too much, blurred together in a flurry at once that only was replaced with an entirely new type of overwhelming.

He was able to form enough thoughts after a moment to recognize that was he was doing was coughing. That led to an entirely new set of terrifying questions.

The coughing evened out into breathing surprisingly fast, and then he could hear something else over the ringing in his ears. That voice that he had not been able to place in all that time floating in that comfortable void, but that hit him like a freight train of recognition now.

Taako.

“It’s okay, you’re okay. Just breathe, yeah man, in and out, just like that. You’re a natural at this,” he was saying, speaking quiet, obvious concern lacing his voice as he was struggling to keep his tone upbeat. It took a few seconds for the burning and spasming in his chest to stop, but following his instructions actually helped. Helped enough for him to focus on the other strange, new and surreal sensation he could feel so starkly now.

Something wrapped around him, and a pressure rubbing up and down his back.

He tried to open his eyes, and they  _ stung. _ Kravitz hissed as he instinctively brought a hand up to wipe away what was left of that strange fluid he'd been suspended in. Blinking rapidly, the pain did not last long, but he was not  _ used _ to pain and everything was so  _ much _ and he didn’t know what to process first.

He had his eyes open now though, and even if everything was still in flux there was one thing he needed to see right now, to see if it was real or if all of this was some strange, too real dream.

And when he looked there was Taako, sat down next to him, a puddle of green liquid slowly congealing on the ground around them. In all honestly, he looked a mess. It was clear that he hadn’t slept properly in quite some time, deep bags under his eyes, his hair unkempt and pulled back into a simple ponytail for ease. His clothes were simple and wrinkled, some obvious signs that whatever small amount of sleep he had managed to get, he hadn’t bothered changing for it. He was staring at Kravitz like he was afraid he might break, and he was the most beautiful thing Kravitz had ever seen in his life _. _

Life. That was- that was something he was going to have to process, because it seemed like it meant something different for him now.

Taako smiled so tentatively when Kravitz met his eyes, and the events that had happened before that long, comfortable haze of nothing came rushing back to him.

Immediately Kravitz pulled away from his touch, the warm beating in his chest getting faster along with his breathing as terror gripped him. He watched as Taako’s face fell, and it was an inexplicable sort of torture not knowing if that was really Taako he was staring at.

“Do you- do you remember me?” he asked, and that… wasn’t the question Kravitz expected. He was sure his confusion must’ve shown on his face. He had already been terrible at hiding his feelings when it had been an illusion, and now he could feel the frown his face twisted into. It was so  _ different _ from the sensations he’d thought he’d experienced in Wonderland, so much more vivid. He hadn’t any idea how dulled it had all been compared to this, all the little things he’d been missing. The beating in his chest, the small puffs of breath he could feel against his face from his own panicked breathing, the pulsing in his ears from the blood rushing through him.

He’d gotten distracted, but he tried to bring his mind back to the question Taako, or he hoped beyond hope that this was really, truly Taako, asked.

“Of cou-” he started, caught off guard by the roughness of his throat, how strange it felt to form words in his mouth, falling into another fit of coughs. He could see Taako hesitate to reach out, and Kravitz could appreciate both the desire to help and giving him a moment to process everything as it happened. After a moment managed to get himself under control again to finish the short sentence. “Of course I do.”

The relief on Taako’s face at that was evident, and it was definitely going to take a while for Kravitz to get used to this strangely physical exertion when he needed to speak. As much as he probably would have preferred to ease into it, there was too much to say right now.

“I also remember… some necrotic nightmare. Stealing your face and trying to trick me with it,” he said, and he could see the realization click on Taako’s face at that. Maybe he wasn’t in the best condition to be making judgment calls, but Kravitz was getting more and more certain that this truly was Taako.

“Shit, right. The last thing you saw…” Taako trailed off, and Kravitz was trying not to think back on the last thing he had seen, but now it was all he could focus on.

Taako, lying so pained and lifeless in his arms. Tearing him out of a necrotic drain that was threatening to kill him, absolutely no idea if he had managed to act fast enough…

“We got out,” Taako said, and he was speaking so gently and Kravitz wanted so badly to trust him. “You got me out, then Lup and Barry took care of the rest. I don’t expect you to believe me right away, or without any proof, but just, take as long as you need. I’m sure I can think of some way to prove it to you, if you just-” he said, and Kravitz could already see the rapid fire thoughts going on behind his eyes, the tiny movements betraying how clever he was. Kravitz was certain that he would be able to find something that undeniably proved his point.

“I believe you,” he said, cutting him off and clearly surprising Taako. He sat there, mouth hanging open for a moment before he managed to get his words back in order.

“Oh. Nevermind then,” he said, and that hesitant smile on his face was twisting into something almost giddy. Kravitz would have loved to join him in the feeling, but there were so many  _ other feelings _ he couldn’t quite be there yet. Instead he looked back down at himself, which was still mostly wrapped up in a large sheet, which was what Kravitz could only imagine ‘soft’ felt like.

“How… how did this happen?” he asked, and he’d spent all this time barely processing that what was in front of him, all this evidence actually amounted to a reality. That he now had a physical, fleshy body.

There was no mirror, but based of what he could see, the dark skin tone to the long black hair around his shoulders, it seemed to be a pretty similar match to that illusion he had designed up for Taako all that time ago. His hair was loose though, rather than the neat braids Taako usually conjured. Kravitz would have been tempted to run his fingers through it if he wasn't still terrified about what all of this might have meant.

He didn't know how this could have happened. Necromancy was an obvious option, and considering the strange tube he’d come out of he would bet money on it being the reality. He knew now that Taako was a necromancer. He couldn’t see his face yet, and he had no idea what he would see when he looked. If he would see the face of some poor person Taako had chosen to steal for him. An unfortunate soul who looked enough like his illusion that Kravitz might even be able to pretend it was him. His stomach felt sick at the idea, another new sensation, one he was not enjoying in the least.

“Sorry,” Taako started off with, which didn’t exactly lift Kravitz’s spirits. “We wouldn’t have if there was any other choice. I swear I would have fucking  _ asked _ if we could, but your core was cracked and we didn't know what that necromancy that leaked into it would do to you if we didn't direct it somewhere. The Queen said she couldn’t save you as a construct. This was the only thing we could think of, and even it was a shot in the dark,” he said, and that really didn’t explain  _ what _ had happened.

“The Queen?” Kravitz asked, and it was only then that he started to process the rest of the surroundings other than that large glowing tank. The room was dim, and it was slightly more difficult to make out details in the far off corners than it had been when he was in a constructed form, but he could still make out enough to recognize the room. It wasn’t one he had been in often, and it seemed to have been… recently renovated from what he last remembered, but there was no mistaking it. “Are we in the palace?” he asked, and Taako was actually starting to smile again as he nodded.

“Of course we are. What, did you think the Queen was just going to let her son die a second time?” he asked, and Kravitz was flabbergasted as he processed that.

“What  _ happened? _ ” he asked, and he was pretty sure talking about this was the only thing keeping him from getting completely distracted with how weird his legs felt curled up under him. They were getting a little sticky from this dried junk, and the closest thing he’d ever had to a shower was when him and Taako had fallen into the inn tub together that first night they had found Barry. He hadn’t given them much thought before, but he was starting to hope he’d get to find out what they were like pretty soon. 

“Like I said, there was no other way to save you. Barry had, well he knew that Lup was a lich the whole time. He’d already been working on a spell that could clone a body from something with her essence once we had fallen off the face of the earth, in the off case that she’d died. That’s what these things are for. We… we weren’t sure if it would work for you, since we didn’t have anything like blood or hair from a body. They made some adjustments though and we just kinda dunked your whole soul in there and waited, and well, it  _ worked,” _ Taako finished. It was easy to hear the mystified, overjoyed relief in Taako’s voice as he spoke.

As he watched, tears started to form in Taako’s eyes, and immediately Kravitz felt his heart  _ ache  _ at the sight _. _

“You’re  _ here. _ Fucking hell I thought I lost you. I thought I spent the last six months talking to a  _ corpse _ with a night light in its chest,” he said, and Kravitz instinctively looked down at that. It took a second for him to process what he was seeing. There was a cracked, blue sphere just barely visible. It was poking out so little that he was sure if he was wearing a shirt it would be impossible to tell it was there. It was glowing the slightest bit, and when Kravitz raised his hand to it he was surprised there was no pain. That the core from his old construct wasn’t interfering with his ability to breathe or anything like that.

There would be time to process that, but later. Right now Taako was still sitting in front of him, trembling with relief and that seemed much more important.

Kravitz hadn’t considered what it must’ve been like. The fear and hopelessness that must've plagued them as they waited on what was very likely to be a failed experiment and nothing more. The stubbornness in Taako to continue to sit by this pod and wait for him to emerge despite those fears.

“I didn’t know if I had gotten you out in time,” he admitted, the terror hitting him all over again as he said that. “I’m sorry I did not get there sooner,” he said, and Taako sputtered at that.

“You got there fast enough my dude! I would be dead if it wasn’t for you, you don’t got shit to apologize for,” he said, reaching out and grabbing Kravitz’s wrist as he did. It didn’t even seem to be something he was focusing on, but once Taako was touching him it was all that Kravitz could think about.

“Krav?” Taako asked, and it took a few seconds for him to realize he had been staring at him. He had no idea how long for, time was hard to focus on right now.

“Sorry, it’s just… it’s all a lot,” he said, the elf quickly nodding. He was still holding Kravitz’s wrist, and a part of him was glad for that. As overwhelming as it was, he very much didn’t want it to stop.

“I’m sorry,” Taako said suddenly, and when Kravitz looked back at him he was staring at the floor, his knees pulled up to his chest. “I would have asked you first, if ya know, it was possible. None of us wanted you to die,  _ I _ didn’t want you to die, and I’m a selfish asshole. There was no way to keep you around if you stayed as a construct, so just… sorry if this isn’t what you wanted,” he said, not meeting his eyes. He sounded so uncertain, so terrified that Kravitz might resent him for this.

And sitting here, he wasn’t sure if it was what he would have chosen, not if he'd gotten a real choice. He could remember that moment in Wonderland, down on his knees and conflicted as two lives flashed around him, no idea what to do, which to choose.

But he was here now. He was here and he was breathing and Taako’s hand was still almost burning hot on his wrist. There was still so much to figure out about what was going on, but he couldn’t bring himself to be angry at Taako, not over this.

“It’s okay,” he said finally, and Taako looked up at him hesitantly at that, some tentative relief there. “I’m still… it’s a lot. But it’s… I’m glad I’m here,” he said.

“Good,” Taako said, letting out a small breath of relief. It was quiet for a long moment then, and Kravitz found himself getting distracted by his own breathing. He wasn’t sure he would ever get used to that, get used to  _ this. _

“Hey,” Taako spoke up after some time, and Kravitz looked back over at him.

“Hi,” he responded without thinking, and that seemed to break some of the tension, Taako laughing.

Kravitz had been terrified that he’d never get to hear that laugh again, but here it was and it was so simple and genuine that any doubt he had that this wasn’t real was starting to quickly fade.

This was Taako, in front of him and staring at him and sitting in an increasingly uncomfortable pile of goo with him. His laughter didn’t last long and when he continued he still looked nervous, and it wasn’t like Kravitz couldn’t understand why. This was all so much, Kravitz was having a hard time wrapping his head around the reality of the situation. “Barry told me the curse broke, before I was captured.”

“Oh,” Kravitz said, the topic surprising him, although maybe it shouldn’t have. He wasn’t sure he liked the physical feelings of embarrassment all that much yet though. His face felt hot and he found it hard to look directly at Taako.

“Yeah, so why’d you do that? You could have fucked off and gone home. Hell,  _ stayed _ home, he told me you guys went back to the palace too. So what’s the deal? You nearly  _ died _ and- and you didn’t have to do that,” he said, his voice getting shakier the longer he spoke.

Kravitz considered making something up, or just downplaying his actual reasons. There was a swell in his chest as he looked at Taako though, still so nervous and upset and looking at him like he was afraid he’d disappear at any moment. He knew all the books talked about these feelings like they had physical effects, and Kravitz had been unsure what that would have actually felt like. He could understand it now though as the words poured out of him without any thought.

“I didn’t want to lose you,” he started, the uncomfortableness of speaking starting to ease some the more he did it. “I thought- I thought that was obvious. I missed home, but I care about you too now Taako. I knew I would miss you if- when I left, and I couldn’t- I couldn’t just leave until I could at least know you would be safe and happy. I couldn’t leave you in some necromantic hellscape to die, I couldn’t…” he trailed off, and when he reached over to Taako his hand was a bit shaky. Brushing a few strands of hair out of his face, they felt even softer than the blanket wrapped around him, despite how messy and unkempt Taako’s whole appearance was now.

“I love you,” he finished, because that was the long and short of it. He hadn’t thought too much about how Taako might react to the confession until the words were out of his mouth and Taako was wincing like he’d been burned. Kravitz hadn’t had a heart for long, but he was fairly sure it was breaking.

It must’ve showed on his face (he’d already been terrible at controlling his expressions on his illusion. He could only imagine how much worse it would be in a real body) because Taako immediately looked apologetic.

“No, no that’s not- I don’t mean it like that,” he quickly apologized. “It’s just, shit, it’s just hard to hear those words from you after Wonderland is all,” he said, and Kravitz was frowning in confusion now.

“What do you mean?” he asked, and now Taako was the one to look embarrassed.

“Wonderland, or well, the assholes that ran the place, they had a lot of fun showing me a fake version of you confessing his undying love for me and all that jazz. But you’re real though. You’re real and this is- this is real,” he said, sounding like he was trying to convince himself on that last part.

“Why would Wonderland-” Kravitz started to ask, stopping suddenly as the realization came to him. He froze as he tried to process the thought, the fact that Wonderland showed people what they wanted, tormented them with a facsimile of something so close to perfection and yet so off. The longer he went on without saying anything the more Taako looked a bit like he wanted to die. “Oh.”

“Yeah, oh,” Taako muttered, not meeting his gaze.

“Can, um, can you kiss me?” Kravitz asked when the silence started to drag on. Maybe now wasn’t the best time but if he thought about any of the romance novels he’d read now was definitely the best time. Somehow the question seemed to surprise Taako, who snorted after a moment.

“Isn’t the question supposed to be ‘can  _ I _ kiss  _ you?’” _ he asked, which was fair. Even still, Kravitz set him with a rather unamused and blunt expression. Or well, he was trying for that, he wasn’t sure how effective it was, because he kept wanting to smile.

“I’ve had a mouth for maybe five minutes. It’s- talking is still a bit of a wild thing for me, let alone anything else,” he said. Taako laughed at that, no longer seeming anywhere near as nervous as he had been a few moments ago.

“Yeah alright, I’ll give you that,” he said, leaning forward and cupping Kravitz’s face in his hands. The touch was gentle and so much warmer than he expected. Even though he didn’t want to stop looking at Taako for a second, he closed his eyes as he leaned in, softly brushing their lips together in a soft, chaste kiss. Kravitz was fairly sure he was holding back considerably, but it was still nearly overwhelming as he leaned into it. When Taako pulled back he finally understood what it meant when someone said something left them breathless. It was a much more pleasant sensation than the actual choking he had experienced just a few moments before.

“We’ll build up to more, alright?” Taako said, winking for good measure and all Kravitz could do was nod. The elf took a deep breath at that, seeming to ground himself somewhat. “We can take it easy. Let’s get you cleaned up and then go from there, alright?” he offered, and Kravitz nodded at that. That sounded good. It sounded doable.

“I think I would like that,” he said, and Taako smiled at that. He watched as the elf lifted himself up off the ground, only letting go of him for a moment before holding out a hand to help him up as well. Kravitz took it, and it was still so warm he didn’t quite know what to do with himself. He was very thankful for the help when he actually went to stand, his legs feeling strange and tingly and weak underneath him. Kravitz ended up stumbling a bit before he managed to get a hold of himself.

Taako helped steady him, also carefully helping keep the sheet wrapped around him, which he appreciated. He was not used to wearing more than a cloak, that was going to take some adjustments.

“You good?” Taako asked once he was finally steady, some obvious amusement in his voice. Kravitz nodded, taking a deep breath, and it was such a strange feeling. Not a bad one, satisfying in a way.

“Yes, I believe I have it now,” he said, and Taako smiled at that.

“Cool, let’s get you cleaned up then,” he said, starting to walk off. Kravitz didn’t immediately follow after him, and he was still holding onto his hand, so the elf stopped when he didn’t feel him coming along. There was some clear confusion on his face as he looked back at him questioningly.

“Krav?” he asked.

“What’s- what’s going to happen next? I don’t want to… it’s selfish, but I don’t want to have to choose,” he said, and thankfully it seemed like he didn’t have to spell it out for Taako exactly what he didn’t want to choose between. He smiled, a pleased look on his face as he moved closer to him.

“You don’t have to. Like I said, we worked out a deal, it’s- you’ve been out for a while. Six fucking months, a lot of time for us to work out most of the kinks. Promise I’ll explain everything, but there’s no need to rush. We’ve got plenty of time,” Taako said, and Kravitz still had no many questions, but he forced himself to nod. He trusted Taako, and if he said they had time, then he believed him.

So he let Taako take his hand again, leading him carefully out of the cobblestone basement room they were in. Let him draw up a bath for him, quickly explaining all of the different soaps and brushes before leaving him to get clean, a fresh set of clothes waiting on the counter.

There was a mirror in the bathroom, and Kravitz could see his face. And it was  _ his _ face. A part of him was still having a hard time processing that, wasn’t sure he would ever get used to it. That glowing blue core was still a solid reminder in his chest, and there was something almost comforting about it. A reminder that everything he’d been before wasn’t completely wiped away.

That construct had been as much him as this new body was, and he did not want to forget it.

Getting into the bath, he would say that it was the best thing he’d ever felt, but he’d already kissed Taako. Still, he spend what was probably a longer time than he needed to sitting in there, rubbing different soaps and oils over himself and in his hair. That water had started off so warm it was almost burning, and as he sat it gradually got cooler. Eventually it was quite cold, which was a strange new sensation as well. Not quite as pleasant as the warmth, but still one he couldn’t help but want to indulge in a little.

After some time though Taako had knocked on the door again, sounding concerned for how long Kravitz was taking. He quickly got out and got dressed after that, careful not to slip on unsteady legs.

The outfit was simple, a bit simpler than a lot of the ones Taako had conjured for his illusion. It was a plain black button up (which took him a minute to figure out, but he was slowly starting to get the hang of fine motor controls) and black pants.

It looked nice though. Taako’s illusions had been near perfect, almost impossible to perceive as a fake.

But now he was breathing. There was some imperceptible weight there that hadn’t been before, it all just a little off from perfect.

“Well, aren’t you handsome mister,” Taako said when he came out of the bathroom, coming up and leaning right against him. That was certainly a sensation he was never going to get used to, and he wasn’t upset about it. “I didn’t think you could get much better than before, but damn,” he said, and Kravitz could feel his face get hot at that.

“It’s a lot to get used to, but I certainly can’t complain with how much you seem to like it,” he said, and it was more than just the fact that Taako enjoyed this body, this construct, so much. There would be time for all of that later though.

“You said something about explaining everything though?” he asked, and Taako’s expression got a bit more serious as he nodded. He was still smiling though, practically abuzz with excitement.

“Right, let’s get going then. I figured we could meet everyone else, fill you in on everything you missed over lunch,” he said, and Kravitz paused at that.

“Lunch?” he asked, and Taako nodded, looking a bit nervous now.

“Yeah, I uh, I know you never really  _ got _ the big thing behind food, but I’ve been pretty excited to finally get you on board,” he said, and Kravitz smiled at that.

“That sounds lovely Taako,” he said, reaching over so that he was holding both of the elf’s hands. He was still a bit taller than him, but nowhere near as much as he’d been in his construct. He found himself leaning forward, so that his forehead was resting comfortably against Taako’s.

“Cool, we should get going then, everyone’s waiting,” he said, not actually making any move to leave. Instead they simply stood there for a long moment. Even though he knew they had time Kravitz wanted to stay there and memorize every little detail of how Taako’s hands felt in his, of the strange tickle from his breath against his face, the warmth of having him so close. It should all be too much but Kravitz couldn’t get enough of it.

“I love you too,” Taako said suddenly, and Kravitz hadn’t even realized he’d closed his eyes until he was opening them again. Taako’s face was redder than it had been before, but he continued. “I didn’t say it back before, but I want to. So yeah, I love you too and I know there’s a lot of shit to work out and some stuff you might never be okay with, but I want to be the one to get to take care of you for a change,” he finished.

And he was right. There were going to have to be adjustment. Every moment was a new sensation and it took more effort than Kravitz would like to admit not to get overwhelmed with it all, and there was sure to be so much more that he couldn’t even comprehend yet.

They had made a deal with the Queen, with his mother, but they would still need to talk. About Lup being a lich, about Taako’s compliance in the necromancy. About their relationship.

But he wanted to work through it. He so desperately wanted to make all of this work, and it seemed like Taako did too. They had the time to figure out how to make it work.

Leaning forward, he tried to capture Taako’s mouth in another kiss instead of answering with words. It was a little clumsy, but by the time he was pulling back he could feel Taako smiling against him.

“I think I’d like that,” he said, and Taako’s smile got even wider at that.

“Then let’s get you fed,” he said, starting to pull Kravitz back down the hallway. Kravitz couldn’t help but laugh at his enthusiasm, and it had been strange when he started laughing before. Doing it now, he didn’t expect it to be such a full body experience. It would take some getting used to.

Watching Taako as he pulled him along through the palace, still clearly exhausted from the months of vigil waiting for him to come back but too excited to care, a lot of this was going to take some getting used to.

And Kravitz was looking forward to every moment.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> oh man, we're finally here y'all. I can't believe I wrote this whole fic in the year of 2020, to say it's been a wild ride would be... a bit of an understatement. I can say with pretty solid certainty that this is the fic I am most proud of to date, i've enjoyed writing every minute of it and am so glad to get to have shared it with everyone. 
> 
> as I said in the notes of the last chapter, there is going to be a sequel series, which I can not say more concretely is going to be a lot of fluff of Kravitz learning how to be a person, cause you _know_ I could never resist doing that. I don't have any plans of doing those on any sort of update schedule though, so just keep an eye out! You can find my tumblr [here](https://kravkalackin.tumblr.com/) if you're interested in that sort of thing. 
> 
> As always though, thanks for reading my fic and I hope you enjoyed!


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